Incorrect Aphmau Quotes

By -Kodaine-

5.6K 148 133

Uhh... Incorrect Aphmau Quotes... yeah. More

-1-
-2-
-3-, also Vines
-4-, and some Vines
-5-
-6-
-7-
-8- also, Thomas Sanders
-9-
-10-
-11-
-12-... I need sleep.
-13-... oh no the sun's up.
-14-
-15-, but it's the kids
-16-
-17-, the wolf pups (and June)
-18-
-19-, but Valentine's day came a month early
-20-
-9+10-
-22-
-23-, the AuDHD is strong today
-25-

-What's Funnier Than 24?-

47 4 6
By -Kodaine-


I've been working on my own Minecraft roleplay for the past 3 months, so that's a reason besides me just forgetting Wattpad existed. It's no where near being close to actually being made, but it's the closest it's been in the last 3 years :3

---

Laurence: Look guys, I need help.

Dante: Love help?

Travis: Financial help?

Garroth: Emotional help?

Zane: Help moving a body?

*Everybody looks at Zane*

Zane: What?

---

Judge: Does the defendant have any special requests?

Ein: Death penalty.

Ein's Lawyer(?): Ein, it's just a parking ticket.

Ein, whispering into the mic: Please kill me.

---

Gene: Social distancing says you shouldn't be within an elbow's distance of each other.

*later, in a barfight*

Gene: Social distancing doesn't say nothing about feet! *kicks opponent in the face*

---

Travis: Operation no more distractions is a go!

*not even 10 seconds later*

Travis: Oh, look! A butterfly!

---

Katelyn: I love sarcasm! It's like punching people in the face, but with words!

---

Travis: Now it's time for some witty back and forth banter. You go first.

Zane: *sobbing*

Travis: Look, I'm not sure where to go with that.

---

Zane: Gene, I...

Zane: I love you!

Gene: Not my problem.

---

Lucinda: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Melissa: It was autocorrect.

Lucinda: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

Melissa: Yes.

---

June: I'm so happy, I could kiss you!

Rylan: Um...Neat.

*later*

Rylan, lying face down on their bed: I said "Neat," Blaze. Who the fuck says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm fucking stupid.

Blaze, reading a book: Don't beat yourself up too much, Rylan. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when Dottie confessed her love for me?

Rylan: Didn't you thank her?

Blaze: *closes the book and looks at the ceiling* I fucking thanked her.

---

Dante: And now for a gay update with Garroth and Laurence.

Laurence: Getting gayer.

Dante: Thank you, Laurence.

---

Katelyn: I'm this close to falling in love with Travis.

Aphmau: Your fingertips are touching.

Katelyn: Exactly.

---

Travis: Hey guys, what do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing?

Garroth, Laurence, and Dante: No!

Aaron: Alright, that's it, you guys. What happened out there?

Laurence: What? We took a walk. Nothing happened. I came back with nothing all over me.

Aaron: What does that mean?

Travis: Come on, what happened? Garroth?

Garroth: Alright.

Laurence: No. Garroth, we swore we'd never tell!

Dante: They'll never understand.

Garroth: But we have to say something. We have to get it out. It's eating me alive.

Garroth: Laurence got stung by a jellyfish!

Laurence: Alright! I got stung. Stung bad. I couldn't stand. I- I couldn't walk.

Dante: We were two miles from the house. We were scared and alone. We didn't think we could make it.

Laurence: I was in too much pain.

Garroth: And I was tired from digging a huge hole.

Dante: And then Garroth remembered something.

Garroth: I'd seen this thing in the Discovery Channel.

Travis: Wait a minute, I saw that. On the Discovery Channel. Yeah, about jellyfish and how if you— EW! You peed on yourself?

Aaron and Zane: EW!!

Laurence: You can't say that! You don't know! I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain. Anyway, I tried, but I couldn't... bend that way. So... *looks at Garroth*

Travis, Aaron, and Zane: Ew!

Garroth: That's right. I stepped up. They're my friend and they needed help. If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you.

Garroth: Only, uh, I couldn't. I got stage fright. I wanted to help but there was too much pressure. So, I, um, I turned to Dante.

Dante: Garroth kept screaming at me, "Do it now. Do it. Do it now." Sometimes, late at night I can still hear the screaming.

Garroth: That's because sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.

---

Ein: Aaron, my old friend!

Aaron: I think you tried to kill me at some point.

Ein: That was obviously just my way of getting to know you.

---

Laurence and Dante: How has life been treating you lately?

Everyone in Season 6: Horribly.

---

Nana: You got a date yet, Zane~kun?

Zane: No...

Nana: Well you do now! Get your butt up and hold Kawaii~chan's hand!

---

(I don't like einmau at all)

Ein: Pfft, you should meet Aphmau, she's such a tsundere.

Michael: She... she just stabbed you.

Ein: So cute.

---

Katelyn: Is something burning?

Travis, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.

Katelyn: Travis, the toaster is literally on fire.

---

Travis: How do I tell... someone... that I want them to yell at me like they're Gordon Ramsay and I'm a poor little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée?

---

Michi: Babe, you're so funny!

Ein: I have 892 days until my gruesome premature death. I will break your trust three times before that happens.

---

Travis, trying to flirt with Zane: I think both of our families suck.

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