⚠️Warnings⚠️
⚠️Mention of assault/rape⚠️
⚠️Mention of torture⚠️
⚠️Kidnapping⚠️
⚠️Murder⚠️
⚠️PTSD⚠️
~~Your POV~~
You tremble against Bob as he holds you after your nightmare, resting your head on his chest as you work through your thoughts. There's so much to tell him but you don't quite know how to start. You've been a prisoner of war several times, and they were all absolute torture. Part of you is afraid Bob will leave when he finds out everything that's happened to you.
"We were ambushed by the enemy one time. They came out of nowhere. We were camping after taking back one of the cities that had been captured by insurgents. They were probably watching us the entire time, waiting for us to drop our guard. We did. We didn't mean to. It was a long fight and we were tasked with patrolling the area while the rest fell back. I was in charge when there was a sudden smoke bomb. It was so quiet by the time we realized what happened it was too late. A few of my squad members managed to go and report what happened but the rest of us were taken hostage.-"
"They wanted to know the plans. How we were able to decimate their members. None of us would speak. The torture we went through was terrible. Beatings, weird drugs.....rape. Well, that one just fell on me. I tell you, gang bangs are absolutely exhausting. Still, none of us would say a word. Other than screaming from pain we refused to say a word. The insurgents were stupid. They served us what they claimed would be our final meal. We knew, if we didn't get out we were all going to die. So, I did the only thing I could think of!"
"You seduced them didn't you?" Bob asks softly.
"Yeah. While the leader and I 'had fun' as he put it I managed to get a knife. He forgot to take it out of his pocket and was so distracted by sex he didn't even realize I had taken the knife. I slammed that fucking thing hilt deep into his neck until he bled out. He ended up having the keys on him too. The rest of his team were prepping for our destruction so I freed my squad. We found anything and everything that could possible be a weapon and we launched our attack.-"
"-We caught them all off guard and completely destroyed them! Oh, it was so fucking satisfying. Watching the life drain from their eyes as we freed ourselves. Johansson hijacked the radio and gave our location. They swarmed the place but it was just a small group at the time. Still, we got some good information out of the documents and everything they had. It helped us free a lot of innocent people." You mumble.
"The.....rape. You've been through it multiple times haven't you?" He asks gently.
"It wasn't easy but I was sent undercover a lot. Being a woman meant I could infiltrate certain places to get information. Thankfully, I killed a lot of them so they wouldn't do it to anyone else. I know it's wrong but I enjoyed watching the life drain from their eyes. The look of pure shock as they bled out was so satisfying," You growl, your hands curling into fists against Bob's chest. "I wish I could destroy all of them."
"Ya did a good job killing a lot of them. You saved a lot of lives," Bob tells you.
"With past partners.....they usually left if they found out I'd been raped. They all said the same thing," You tell him, a choked sob catching in your chest. "They all said I was filthy and contaminated. Who wants a used whore?"
"Don't. Ever. EVER. Call yourself that again," Bob growls, your eyes widening at how deadly his voice is. He grabs your chin and guides you to look up at him. "You're none of those things. You're strong, beautiful, and the best damn girlfriend I've ever had."
"Even if I'm broken?" You breathe as the tears continue to stream down your face. When did you start crying?
"Yer not broken. Sure you have some issues but who doesn't? That doesn't make you any less of a person. Your past hasn't been easy. Don't let anyone diminish what happened because it's real. Even if they don't agree with it all you've done a lot of really amazing things." Bob tells you.
"It means a lot to hear that. Sometimes I wonder if I really did do the right thing. Sometimes there's regret but it's all in the past now," You sigh softly.
"Ya did what ya had to do," He assures you, his thumb rubbing gentle circles on your arm. "We all do things we're not proud of."
"I have a lot of blood on my hands," You tell him.
"You did your job," He promises you. "You did everything for the good of the world and our country."
"It wasn't always for our country," You tell Bob. "Some of it was for me."
"Really?" Bob asks, looking down at you in surprise. "Which ones?"
"Child predators," You tell him with a low growl. "I don't regret ridding the world of those monsters."
"Ya did the world a favor," He tells you. "I completely stand by your decision."
"Most people do. Makes it a little easier on the mind you know? I'm going to hell, I resigned myself to that fate a long time ago. Still, killing them is worth all of the blood on my hands."
"I think that whatever comes in the afterlife you're going to have it good. You've done so many good deeds, they're bound to wind up passing any sins you made," Bob explains.
"You think so?" You ask him with a soft smile.
"I know so," He tells you, giving you another kiss.
"Did you know? You're amazing?" You tell Bob with a giggle.
"That's my phrase darlin'," He teases, leaning down and giving you a kiss.
"Thank you. For listening and not judging," You tell him softly, smiling when he gently strokes your hair. "I love you."
The words are out of your mouth before you have the chance to stop them, your entire body going tense when Bob's does the same. Shit! Y/N, you idiot! Why did you just do that?!
"I love you too," He finally says, his voice cracking slightly as his arms tighten around you.
"Bob?" You ask, looking up and pressing a gentle hand to his cheek when a tear rolls down his face. "Are you okay?"
"Sorry, sorry," He laughs, wiping at his eyes before grinning at you. "I've been alone for a long time. It's....amazing to know I'm not anymore."
"I'm here no matter what," You promise, lifting up and giving him a kiss on the lips. "I love you."
"I love you more," He grins as he lays down with you.
"I love you times infinity," You announce, sticking your tongue out at Bob.
"I'll bite it off. Don't test me," He chuckles, leaning down and giving you a kiss.
"If you bite it off you can never talk to me again," You point out as the two of you lay on your sides facing each other.
"Yer smart. We can just learn sign language," Bob declares with a snicker.
"Really?" You ask him with an amused smile.
"What? It's true," Bob points out.
"Okay, what if I lost my arms in an accident?" You challenge.
"Hmm, that's a tough one," Bob mumbles as he tries to think. "Ya can make sounds for things you need? It'll be like talking but just with non-talking noises."
"I'm not an animal," You laugh at him.
"Never said ya were. That's just you assumin' things," He replies smugly.
"You don't play fair," You huff at him. "Still, no biting off my tongue. I wouldn't be able to special things for you without it."
You smile triumphantly when Bob's face burns bright red.
"Ya can't use that. It's no fair," He argues.
"Hey! You needed a reason not to bite my tongue off and I gave you one," You fire back at him.
"And you say I'm playing dirty," Bob huffs back, earning a giggle from you. "Why do you love me?"
"What do you mean?" You ask gently.
"Like why me? Ya can have any person ya want and you chose me. Why?" He asks you.
"Well, you're sweet and caring. You look at me as a person and not some project or charity case because of my injuries and the things I've been through. You take care of me, you don't hit me, you don't yell at me, you treat me like I'm your world," You explain to him.
"Ya are my world," He says, pressing his forehead against yours. "You're more than your injuries. You're an incredible person with the most beautiful heart and the world is lucky to have you in it. I'm lucky to have you in my life."
"I can say the same," You smile. "I feel like the luckiest woman in the world."
"Question. Ya wanna come stay at my place a couple days? We spend all our time here I'm startin' to feel bad," He admits to you. "It's a little way into the trees but still drivable."
"Really?" You ask him, your eyes lighting up with excitement. "I would love to come and visit."
"How does this weekend sound? Gives me a chance to get it cleaned up," He admits with a sheepish smile. "It's a wonder I've survived this long on my own."
"You can't be that bad," You laugh. "You're really clean and careful here."
"Alright, truth is I gotta get rid of all my alcohol bottles. Completely covers the floor," He replies. "Absolute mess."
"I don't believe you," You giggle. "You don't have to clean your place but I appreciate you doing it for me though."
"It ain't too bad. Just some minor things," He assures you. "Not to worry darlin'."
"I can't wait," You tell him with a smile.
He grins and presses a deep kiss to your lips. You playfully deny entrance when you feel Bob's tongue run along your bottom lip to ask for entrance. A soft gasp escapes when he suddenly nips at your bottom lip, the sting catching you off guard. Bob's tongue slides into your mouth as he deepens the kiss, earning a soft whine from you. You meet his tongue with your own but he keeps dominance, something you don't mind letting him have. He lets go of a groan when his tongue meets yours, the two of you pulling away when you need air. A string of saliva connects you both together, Bob chuckling softly when it breaks.
"Sleep well darlin'," He smiles. "I love you."
"I love you too, Bob," You tell him.