|monocle motors|
—When Camilla woke up, she was tied upside down by her ankle and cocooned with chains up to her neck. To her right Piper was flailing around, trying to free herself. Her mouth was gagged, but at least she was alive. Jason didn't look so good. He hung limply, his eyes rolled up in his head. A red welt the size of an apple had swollen over his left eyebrow.
"Leo, help!" A voice startled Camilla because it was a perfect imitation of Piper's. She had to check twice and confirm that the other girl was gagged and hadn't spoke out loud.
Then the voice spoke again, this time less sure. "Leo?"
"Told you it was nothing," The shape in the shadows rumbled. Its voice was too deep and feral to be human.
Another lump, Camilla couldn't describe what it was spoke this time in her own voice— "Leo, help me! Help—" Then the voice changed, becoming a masculine snarl. "Bah, there's nobody out there. No demigod could be that quiet, eh?"
The first monster chuckled. "Probably ran away, if he knows what's good for him. Or the girl was lying about a fourth demigod. Let's get cooking."
Snap. A bright orange light sizzled to life— an emergency flare—and Camilla was temporarily blinded. She wondered how she always wound up in such situations.
On the conveyor belt, beneath Camilla, a bed of the unfinished pickup truck was being used as a fire pit. The emergency flare had ignited a mixture of tires and wood, which, from the smell of it, had been doused in kerosene. A big metal pole was suspended over the flames— a spit, Camila realized, which meant this was a cooking fire.
oh fuck no I'm not dying like this.
She thrashed a little more, but her spatha and dagger weren't on her anymore and there was no other way for her to get out of this predicament. But she had to hold out hope. Leo was still out there somewhere. He would come for them.
But most terrifying of all were the cooks.
Monocle Motors: that single red eye logo. Why hadn't Camilla realized?
Three massive humanoids gathered around the fire. Two were standing, stoking the flames. The largest one crouched. The two younger ones were each ten feet tall, with hairy muscular bodies and skin that glowed red in the firelight. One of the monsters wore a chain mail loincloth that looked really uncomfortable. The other wore a ragged fuzzy toga made of fiberglass insulation, which also would not have made Camilla's top ten wardrobe ideas. Other than that, the two monsters could've been twins. Each had a brutish face with a single eye in the center of his forehead.
The cooks were Cyclopes.
Camilla tried to think back to before she was knocked out. One of these bastards had smashed through her and Piper like they were ragdolls. Camilla couldn't have fought them alone even if she tried.
And how the fuck could they imitate human voices so perfectly?
Camilla's bound legs would have started quaking (if she wasn't, you know, already tied upside down). Blood rushed to her head and the space between her eyes started to hurt. She'd seen some weird things so far—storm spirits and winged gods and a metal dragon that liked Tabasco sauce. But this was different. These were actual, flesh-and-blood, ten-foot-tall living monsters who wanted to eat her and her friends for dinner.
The Cyclops in the chain mail loincloth walked over to Piper, who squirmed and tried to head-butt him in the eye. "Can I take her gag off now? I like it when they scream."
The question was directed at the third Cyclops, apparently the leader. The crouching figure grunted, and Loincloth ripped the gag off Piper's mouth.
She didn't scream. She took a shaky breath like she was trying to keep herself calm. Camilla really wished they took off her gag too. It smelled like motor oil and it tasted gross.
The Cyclops in the toga poked at the fire, which was now blazing away and billowing noxious black smoke toward the ceiling. His buddy Loincloth glowered at Piper, waiting for her to do something entertaining. "Scream, girl! I like funny screaming!"
When Piper finally spoke, her tone was calm and reasonable, like she was correcting a naughty puppy. "Oh, Mr. Cyclops, you don't want to kill us. It would be much better if you let us go."
Loincloth scratched his ugly head. He turned to his friend in the fiberglass toga. "She's kind of pretty, Torque. Maybe I should let her go."
Torque, the dude in the toga, growled. "I saw her first, Sump. I'll let her go!" Sump and Torque started to argue, but the third Cyclops rose and shouted, "Fools!"
If Camilla wasn't bound, she would have fallen. The third Cyclops was a female. She was several feet taller than Torque or Sump, and even beefier. Her greasy black hair was matted in pigtails, woven with copper wires and metal washers. Her nose and mouth were thick and smashed together, like she spent her free time ramming her face into walls; but her single red eye glittered with evil intelligence.
The woman Cyclops stalked over to Sump and pushed him aside, knocking him over the conveyor belt. Torque backed up quickly.
"The girl is Venus spawn," the lady Cyclops snarled. "She's using charmspeak on you."
Piper started to say, "Please, ma'am—"
"Rarr!" The lady Cyclops grabbed Piper around the waist. "Don't try your pretty talk on me, girl! I'm Ma Gasket! I've eaten heroes tougher than you for lunch!"
Camilla feared Piper would get crushed, but Ma Gasket just dropped her and let her dangle from her chain. Then she started yelling at Sump about how stupid he was.
"This one is pretty too" Sump spoke up, looking at Camilla, "I want to eat her last"
Camilla wanted to throw up, but unfortunately she didn't have the luxury to do that with her mouth gagged.
"Idiot!" Ma Gasket yelled, and Cam realized Sump and Torque must be her sons. If so, ugly definitely ran in the family. "I should've thrown you out on the streets when you were babies, like proper Cyclops children. You might have learned some useful skills. Curse my soft heart that I kept you!"
"Soft heart?" Torque muttered.
"What was that, you ingrate?"
"Nothing, Ma. I said you got a soft heart. We get to work for you, feed you, file your toenails—"
"And you should be grateful!" Ma Gasket bellowed. "Now, stoke the fire, Torque! And Sump, you idiot, my case of salsa is in the other warehouse. Don't tell me you expect me to eat these demigods without salsa!"
"Yes, Ma," Sump said. "I mean no, Ma. I mean—"
"Go get it!" Ma Gasket picked up a nearby truck chassis and slammed it over Sump's head. Sump crumpled to his knees. Camilla was sure a hit like that would kill him, but Sump apparently got hit by trucks a lot. He managed to push the chassis off his head. Then he staggered to his feet and ran off to fetch the salsa.
In the commotion, Camilla saw a flicker of movement. Running between the robotic arms was Leo, Camilla was so relieved she almost called out to him
Ma Gasket apparently saw her expression turned to her, "What's the matter, girl? So fragile I broke you?"
"I think it's my ribs" Camilla lied as Ma Gasket took out her gag. Fresh air tasted so good. "If I'm busted up inside, I'll taste terrible."
Ma Gasket bellowed with laughter. "Good one. The last hero we ate-remember him, Torque? Son of Mercury, wasn't he?"
"Yes, Ma," Torque said. "Tasty. Little bit stringy."
"He tried a trick like that. Said he was on medication. But he tasted fine!"
"Tasted like mutton," Torque recalled. "Purple shirt. Talked in Latin. Yes, a bit stringy, but good."
Camilla froze. Apparently, Piper was having the same thought she was, because she asked, "Purple shirt? Latin?"
"Good eating," Ma Gasket said fondly. "Point is, girls, we're not as dumb as people think! We're not falling for those stupid tricks and riddles, not us northern Cyclopes."
Piper kept talking, laying on the praise. "Oh, I've heard about the northern Cyclopes!" Which Camilla figured was bullshit, but she sounded convincing. "I never knew you were so big and clever!"
"Flattery won't work either," Ma Gasket said, though she sounded pleased. "It's true, you'll be breakfast for the best Cyclopes around."
"But aren't Cyclopes good?" Piper asked. "I thought you made weapons for the gods."
"Bah! I'm very good. Good at eating people. Good at smashing. And good at building things, yes, but not for the gods. Our cousins, the elder Cyclopes, they do this, yes. Thinking they're so high and mighty 'cause they're a few thousand years older. Then there's our southern cousins, living on islands and tending sheep. Morons! But we Hyperborean Cyclopes, the northern clan, we're the best! Founded Monocle Motors in this old factory-the best weapons, armor, chariots, fuel-efficient SUVs! And yet-bah! Forced to shut down. Laid off most of our tribe. The war was too quick. Titans lost. No good! No more need for Cyclops weapons."
"Oh, no," Piper sympathized. "I'm sure you made some amazing weapons."
Torque grinned. "Squeaky war hammer!" He picked up a large pole with an accordion-looking metal box on the end.
He slammed it against the floor and the cement cracked, but there was also a sound like the world's largest rubber ducky getting stomped.
"Terrifying," Camilla said.
Torque looked pleased. "Not as good as the exploding axe, but this one can be used more than once."
"Can I see it?" Piper asked. "If you could just free my hands-"
Torque stepped forward eagerly, but Ma Gasket said, "Stupid! She's tricking you again. Enough talk! Slay the boy first before he dies on his own. I like my meat fresh."
Camilla's stomach sank, she mentally wished Leo to hurry up.
"Oh man, Torque, nah you don't want to eat Jason first" Camilla blurted, "Eat me"
Piper gave her a look as if to say what the fuck are you doing?
Camilla winked back even though she had no idea what she was doing. "I mean, it would be a great honor! It's just that... which one of you would eat which of us?"
The cyclopes looked at her like she had lost her mind, which she probably had, but she had to buy Leo some time.
"Jason's got the whole muscles thing going on and all, but I know I'm going to taste the best" Camilla declared. "Better than Piper, for sure. It's because I'm blessed by the gods"
Lying had always come naturally for her, but something even better than lying? Causing absolute Havoc.
"The girl is lying, take down the boy and flay him. I'll taste him first" Ma Gasket shook her head and turned away. But Torque seemed to buy Camilla's story.
"She isn't lying" Piper coaxed Torque, "I bet she tastes great"
"Wouldn't you like to know, McLean?" Camilla winked, though everything was turning blurrier by the minute. It couldn't be healthy to stay upside down this long.
Piper gave her a look. "Don't you see? Aphrodite herself has given her a blessing. I bet you anything she tastes the best out of all three of us"
Camilla grinned at the cyclops. "But then again, there's the question of who will eat me. I mean, I'm just one measly little human. Surely you can't all eat me"
Torque perked up. "Me! Me! I want to eat you"
Camilla tried to hide her grimace.
Ma Gasket slapped the back of his head, "Is that how you treat your Ma? I'm going to eat her, you fool"
"Sump and I do everything for you!" Torque shook his head, "And Sump found her, so you won't get to eat her. I want to eat her"
"No, you ungrateful brat!" Ma Gasket shrieked. "I'm eating her and that's final"
"You can't just order us around anymore, Ma!"
"I can and I will!"
"I'm eating her! And I'm going to share her with Sump!"
"You're so right, my guy" Camilla tutted sympathetically, "You tell her! Stand up for yourself. I mean, I'm a fucking snack. And only the best can eat me. You guys choose who the best, the strongest and most worthy is amongst yourselves, and come back to me, yeah? I'll hang around, no biggie"
"I'm the strongest!" Ma Gasket roared and Camilla felt bone chilling terror. Leo needed to hurry the fuck up.
"But we do all the work!" Torque argued back.
"Hey, wait," Piper said, trying to get the Cyclopes' attention. "Hey, can I just ask-"
Everyone's attention was drawn where Leo was standing, in his hands some sparking wires. The Cyclopes froze and turned in his direction. Then Torque picked up a truck and threw it at him.
Leo rolled as the truck steamrolled over the machinery. If he'd been a half-second slower, he would've been smashed. Camilla's ribs felt like they were being crushed and it wasn't just because of the chains around her.
Leo got to his feet, and Ma Gasket spotted him. She yelled, "Torque, you pathetic excuse for a Cyclops, the girl was tricking us, get him!"
Torque barreled toward him. Leo frantically gunned the toggle on a remote in his hands.
Then a robotic arm whirred to life. A three-ton yellow metal claw slammed the Cyclops in the back so hard, he landed flat on his face. Before Torque could recover, the robotic hand grabbed him by one leg and hurled him straight up.
"AHHHHH!" Torque rocketed into the gloom. The ceiling was too dark and too high up to see exactly what happened. But Torque never came down. Instead, yellow dust rained to the floor. Torque had disintegrated.
Camilla was so stunned she and Piper could do little else except exchange looks.
Ma Gasket stared at Leo in shock. "My son... You.... You..."
As if on cue, Sump lumbered into the firelight with a case of salsa. "Ma, I got the extra-spicy—"
He never finished his sentence. Leo spun the remote's toggle, and the second robotic arm whacked Sump in the chest. The salsa case exploded like a pinata and Sump flew backward. Sump may have been immune to getting hit with truck chasses, but he wasn't immune to robotic arms that could deliver ten thousand pounds of force. The third crane arm slammed him against the floor so hard, he exploded into dust like a broken flour sack.
Two Cyclopes down. Camilla was feeling hopeful, when Ma Gasket locked her eye on Leo. She grabbed the nearest crane arm and ripped it off its pedestal with a savage roar. "You busted my boys! Only I get to bust my boys!"
Leo punched a button, and the two remaining arms swung into action. Ma Gasket caught the first one and tore it in half. The second arm smacked her in the head, but that only seemed to make her mad. She grabbed it by the clamps, ripped it free, and swung it like a baseball bat. It missed Piper, Camilla and Jason by an inch. Then Ma Gasket let it go— spinning it toward Leo. He yelped and rolled to one side as it demolished the machine next to him. Camilla's heart hammered in her chest.
"Any more tricks, demigod?" Ma Gasket demanded.
Camilla saw Leo glance up, she saw an engine block suspended on the chain.
"Heck, yeah, I got tricks!" Leo raised his remote control. "Take one more step, and I'll destroy you with fire!"
It was a stupid thing to say but Camilla thought she understood where he was going.
Ma Gasket laughed. "Would you? Cyclopes are immune to fire, you idiot. But if you wish to play with flames, let me help!"
She scooped red-hot coals into her bare hands and flung them at Leo. They landed all around his feet.
"You missed," he said incredulously. Then Ma Gasket grinned and picked up a barrel next to the truck and threw it. The barrel split on the floor in front of him, spilling lighter fluid everywhere.
Coals sparked. Leo closed his eyes, and Piper screamed, "No!"
Camilla knew he was immune to flames, but even she couldn't help the scream of terror she let out. A little fire was fine, but too much and maybe even Leo could burn up.
It was too chaotic to keep track of. Camilla could barely still see. Her head throbbed and her tongue felt weird in her mouth. Her ribs hurt and she was sweating all over. Fuck.
When she looked back at Leo, a firestorm had erupted around him. He was bathed in flames swirling twenty feet into the air. Even Camilla felt the heat from so far away. But it was beautiful, the red, orange and yellow flames danced and snaked around Leo.
Ma Gasket shrieked with delight, but Leo didn't offer the fire any good fuel. The kerosene burned off, dying down to small fiery patches on the floor.
Piper gasped. "Leo?"
Ma Gasket looked astonished. "You live?" Then she took that extra step forward, which put her right where Leo wanted. "What are you?"
"The son of Hephaestus," Leo said. "And I warned you I'd destroy you with fire."
He pointed one finger in the air, shooting a bolt of white-hot flames at the chain suspending the engine block above the Cyclops's head.
The flames died. Nothing happened. Ma Gasket laughed. "An impressive try, son of Hephaestus. It's been many centuries since I saw a fire user. You'll make a spicy appetizer!"
The chain snapped— a single link heated beyond its tolerance point-and the engine block fell, deadly and silent.
"I don't think so," Leo said.
Ma Gasket didn't even have time to look up.
Smash!
No more Cyclops— just a pile of dust under a five-ton engine block.
"Not immune to engines, huh?" Leo said. "Boo-yah!"
Then he fell to his knees.
"Leo?" Camilla called out, desperate.
"LEO!" Piper yelled. "Come on, wake up!"
She turned to Camilla when Leo didn't give any indication that he heard the two of them. "What the heck was that?"
"Pretty sweet cyclops takedown is what" Camilla grinned at her, "I'll let him tell you the story. LEO!"
After a few minutes he seemed to hear Camilla and Piper were calling his name.
"Leo! Are you all right? Can you move?"
He stumbled to his feet. Camilla could tell he'd never tried to summon such an intense fire before, and it had left him completely drained.
It took him a long time to get Piper and Camilla down from their chains. Suddenly, being on solid ground made her head hurt even worse. Then together they lowered Jason, who was still unconscious. Piper managed to trickle a little nectar into his mouth, and he groaned. The welt on his head started to shrink. His color came back a little.
"Yeah, he's got a nice thick skull," Leo said. "I think he's gonna be fine."
"Thank god," Piper sighed. Then she looked at Leo with something like fear. "How did you—the fire—have you always... ?"
Leo looked down. "Always," he said. "I'm a freaking menace. Cam knew... Sorry, I should've told you and Jason sooner but—"
"Sorry?" Piper punched his arm. When Camilla looked up, she was grinning. "That was amazing, Valdez! You saved our lives. What are you sorry about?"
Leo blinked. He started to smile.
Camilla staggered like a drunk and Leo hugged her to keep her balance. "McLean's right, you were fucking amazing"
Leo looked down at his feet sheepishly, then noticed something next to Piper's foot.
Yellow dust—the powdered remains of one of the Cyclopes, maybe Torque—was shifting across the floor like an invisible wind was pushing it back together.
"They're forming again," Leo said. "Look."
Piper stepped away from the dust. "That's not possible. Annabeth told us monsters dissipate when they're killed. They go back to Tartarus and can't return for a long time."
"Well, nobody told the dust that." Camilla watched as it collected into a pile, then very slowly spread out, forming a shape with arms and legs.
"Oh, god." Piper turned pale. "Boreas said something about this—the earth yielding up horrors."
"'When monsters no longer stay in Tartarus, and souls are no longer confined to Hades.'" Camilla recalled. "How long do you think we have?"
"I don't know," Leo said. He looked deep in thought, "But we need to get out of here."
How I imagine Leo in that scene: