Pairing: Isa x Suicidal!Reader
Requested by: ZleppySleepy
Pronouns: She/They
I sighed as I stared out the window of the castle, watching the sunset while waiting for Isa to return. 'What's taking them so long? It seems they take longer every night...' I frowned when the thought of Isa cheating arose, quickly shaking the idea away. 'No, that's not the kind of person Isa is. Still... This is the longest they've made me wait...'
Minutes quickly shifted to two hours, prompting me to move to my bed and curl up under the blanket. '...Maybe they are cheating? When Isa's with me, they're sweet and loving, but when we're apart? It feels like they don't want to see me... Like their life would be easier-.' My thoughts stopped when the door opened, making me glance out from the blanket. 'Look who finally-' I stopped the frustrated thought when they carried a plate of food over to me. '... That's what took them so long? They were making me food?'
"Sorry, I'm late," Isa offered a sheepish smile as they carried the food over. "But I made one of your-."
"I'm not hungry," I cut them off before hiding under the blanket again. "...I just want to sleep."
"...Babygirl? When are you going to open up to me?" Isa's exhausted frown made my heart ache. "I want to help; I just don't know how."
"So stop," I hissed, making Isa flinch and look down. "I don't want to be a burden."
"You're not a burden! You're the l-."
"Love of your life? Are you sure that wasn't Sorana? Your first love? Or maybe it's Hunter — the mother of your child?"
"... That's not fair."
"Neither is you claiming that when I've seen the way you look at them!"
"I-? What? My feelings for Sorana faded out when she turned evil, you know that. Hunter and I had a contract — before I met you — and I ended up getting pregnant and keeping the kid. That doesn't mean I have feelings for her. I love you, [Y/N], no one else."
"...Yeah, sure," I muttered and closed my eyes, trying to let their logic and truth outweigh the negative voices in my head. 'I wish I could believe you... I know it's true, but I'm unable to accept it right now.'
"Do you... Do you need anything? Fr-from me?"
"I don't know."
Isa shifted nervously before setting my food on the bedside table. "...Do you want me to sleep in a different room tonight? I-I don't... I don't want to leave you alone, but I want to do something that will help you, and if that helps, then-."
"No," I frowned and grabbed their hand, pulling it close until they lay next to me. "... I'm sorry, I just- I don't know. I want you, but I want to be alone. Being alone makes me miss you, and missing you makes me think you aren't missing me-."
"Hey, hey, hey," Isa muttered and cupped my cheeks when my breathing rapidly increased. "Focus on me, my love. Deep breaths and focus on me, okay?"
I nodded and tried to focus on Isa, finding it difficult to steady my breathing. The demigod wrapped their arms around me, pulling me against their chest. 'So warm,' I shut my eyes and took a deep breath, my heart skipping when the smell of cinnamon reached my senses. 'It's always like this. But when they leave in the morning for work, I won't see them again until bedtime. None of this has helped my situation.'
"Oh, I almost forgot," Isa whispered, tracing circles on my back. "I took the rest of the month off."
"What? Why?"
"Because my girlfriend needs me, that's why. I know I've been extra busy, but I should've noticed it sooner. How long... The thoughts?"
"Don't wanna talk about it," I frowned and buried my face against them. "Please..."
"Okay," They whispered before kissing my head, holding me tighter. "We'll stay like this for as long as you need."
Two Days Later
"Isa, can we borrow you for a second?" Lady Daniela called from the other side of the door, making me lift my head from Isa's shoulder. "Someone stole Mother's lipstick, and Hunter's busy taking Costin to his check-up, so we don't have anyone to find the thief."
"Do you want me to go?" Isa asked softly as I sat up. "I wouldn't be gone long, but I know you need me."
"I wanted to shower anyway," I yawned and stood up. "...Promise you won't take long?"
"I promise," Isa smiled before pecking my lips. "If I'm back in time, I'll join you. Maybe after, we can go for a walk? The weather's warming up, so we can go outside again."
"Tempting, but I'd rather hear and watch you play. It's been so long..."
"The opera hall should be clear," They hummed before turning their attention back to Daniela. "Any leads?"
"A few maids," Lady Daniela smiled before sending me a concerned glance. "Everything okay?"
"...Just need a few more days alone with Isa, that's all," I forced out with a smile. 'No one in this castle believes that.'
"Take all the time you need; just remember that we love you."
"I love you all too," For once, the smile wasn't forced, and the dark cloud seemed to lighten a bit. "Don't take long, Firebug."
"I'll be back before you know it," Isa promised and kissed my cheek, leaving with Daniela.
'I can't even have a week alone with them,' I frowned as I entered the bathroom and began undressing. 'They were probably getting bored anyway. I know Isa, they always have to do something... Is it wrong to want to slow down every once in a while?' After I started the water, I stepped into the shower and sighed, closing my eyes while resting my head on the wall. 'These thoughts stopped when I was in Isa's arms... Come back, Firebug.'
Minutes crawled by until I heard the door open, making me cover myself before noticing the figure undressing. 'They're back!' Once Isa joined me in the shower, I wrapped my arms around their neck and buried my face against them, taking a deep breath. 'Home.' I whined when Isa pulled back, trying to keep them close until they finally spoke.
"Baby, I need you to see something; that's why I'm pulling back," They laughed, making me pout and let them continue. "Ready?"
"Hurry," I muttered through my pout until they showed me a ring.
"Lady Dimitrescu won't let me forge an engagement ring yet, so I hope a promise ring will do the trick for now."
"...Why won't she?"
"Something about wanting to have one more day with you, whatever that means."
I smiled and shook my head, letting them slip the promise ring onto my finger. "Oh, that. Our days together are the days you're sent into the village. I spend the days chatting with her. We talk about anything and everything. She sometimes tells me stories about the triplets, and about Costin's speech lessons. Great, now I miss those days... They helped stop these episodes from happening."
"But we've both been busy," Isa concluded before pulling me close. "I'm sorry, baby. I know I need to be better at making time for you."
"Can we do date night again? I miss that. We had so much fun..."
"Anything you want," Isa promised and made me lock eyes with them. "I will do everything in my power to keep you here, with me, and happy. Forever. That's my promise to you. I will never leave your side unless there comes a day that you want me to."
"Never," I promised before pulling them in for a kiss, most of the negative thoughts dispelling upon contact.
Two Days Later
"Date night," Isa whispered before kissing my shoulder. "You ready?"
"...No," I sighed, making Isa pull back and sit up.
"N-no? I-I thought-?"
"I did want it, but..."
Isa silently rubbed my back while I clutched their pillow, knowing they were looking forward to the night as well. 'I'm sorry, Firebug, I really am.' I sobbed into their pillow, curling into them when Isa moved me to their lap. 'Why do you stick with me? Why did you make that promise?' I glared at the promise ring through my tears, remembering the song Isa performed for me after that shower.
"My dearest friend
If you don't mind
I'd like to join you by your side
Where we can gaze upon the stars."
I heard Isa's smile as they continued the end of the song for me. "And sit together, now and forever
For it is plain, as anyone can see
We're simply meant to be."
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another sneak peek for Guardian Angel! and how do you all like the new color for the cover art text? i like it better than the other color i had
all sneak peeks are going to be in the prologue btw so you'll see it all again when the story is released (so first 'chapter' after the intro)