Love, infatuation, yearning. These words are all abnormally beautiful terms for the most unique phenomenon that ever took existence. Many people in this world set their devoted believes on these without thinking twice. Antithetically the three of us...we are doubtless not one of those people and never will be! NEVER EVER. I assume that you all need a coherent introduction to the universe's most eligible bachelor trio. For breakfast we got the Hwaseong raised Yoon Jeonghan, who noticed one specific thing the moment he was born. All pretty girls like to sleep with their stuffed toys! This guy took big advantage of this, becoming a mix of a rabbit and squirrel mascot for the cute kids named Jjong Toram, whose home is based in the Big Apple. One trait, this character always carries a candy-shaped pillow. Seems adorable for young children, but Jeonghan takes the upper hand to bring that sleeping item a second someone to lean on.
And then we have arrived at lunchtime, rephrased Joshua Hong a.k.a. Gentle Sexy. True Christians goes to church every blissful Sunday morning, read the Bible regularly and wears the holy purity ring for the obvious reason. You must call Joshua the complete contradictory, who has not ever gone near a church in his entire life despite being raised in a family where Christianity is the leading way. Moreover, the guy has two favorite dishes ever since he was born. One good old In-And-Out burger from his birthplace LA, and the other is the youthfulness of hot girls.
We can all agree that dinner is the best, right? And the name is yours truly. Choi Seungcheol. Daegu's shine and pride. New York's most trendy, ultramodern nightclub DOMINO's manager. A great human has spoken about me once, saying that a lady would only not stick to Seungcheol if Seungcheol does not want to get stuck to her. And that one great human, that happens to be me! I am who I am, reckless and who cares if someone got hurt by my principals. Three best friends, one luxury house, and life's excitement. All the talks of love, those are just straight bullshit!
Heavy banging in the back of my head did not suit my appetite at all, wiping the morning vision clean with the back of my hand. And as usual, my current fling Hailey laid passed out next to me in her birthday suit. I surely went rough on her last night, didn't I? A faint sound of a doorbell yelled for unwanted attention. Yawning all of my hangover out, I slumped down the stairs to open the front door in one go. Who had the audacity to wake me up from my precious slumber, my dark brown eyes narrowing at the empty side in front of me. I got a weird gut feeling in my stomach, immediately acting on it while my view diverted to the ground. What the hell? I could not understand this bizarre situation at all, picking up the white envelop while looking at the abandoned hallway to hope for a source of humanity. The open invite of the letter while reading the handwritten sentences made me gawk in unpleasant surprise.
After waking the other guys up with much nuisance, all their looks were focused on the most joyous individual on this planet. Both of them gave the exact same reaction I had given a couple of minutes ago, my right hand flickering the letter as I stood in between Joshua and Jeonghan. '"Gaesaekki (son of a bitch), byeongsiniya (moron), raise your daughter yourself." That is what is written in this letter. I guess that someone made a mistake.'
Yes, the chirpy child rested in the provided crib, nestling herself onto the soft material of her baby pink blanket while I gave the letter to Joshua who looked equally stunned. Snatching the paper from my hand, the gentleman determinedly glared at Jeonghan's unbothered eyes while repeating the phrases. '"Gaesaekki (son of a bitch), byeongsiniya (bastard), raise your daughter yourself."'
Joshua was pushing all of his life responsibilities right into the mascot's hands, an amused smile could not be contained hidden on my lips anymore. And if this got Jeonghan to act more enraged than he already was, clicking his tongue in annoyance. 'Gaesaekkideul (sons of bitches), Gaejasigdeul (bastards)! This could never be my daughter.'
I suddenly felt a pair of bare slender arms from behind me, Hailey woken up from her sleep while the other girlfriends got together with their respective boyfriends. They obviously noticed the cute little thing, muttering sweet words towards the baby until Hailey decided to use her brains for once in her life, speaking up in clear confusion. 'Wait, is this baby yours?'
Shaking my head firmly in denial, I ensured my girlfriend that there was nothing to be worried about while I pointed the guilt towards the long-haired Jeonghan. 'No darling, this is not my child. In fact, she is Jeonghan's baby, and he actually has two or three babies more.'
Now Jeonghan's lady whose name I still do not know started to get worked up, composing myself while grinning inside again. 'Is it true Han? Is this your baby?'
The mascot rolled his hazy eyes while shot his aegyo in the air, making me cringe inside while I stinky-eyed him from top to bottom. 'No sweetie pie, I am Jjong Toram, remember? I love toys instead of babies. You know what, this is his baby. Yes, her last name is Hong if I recall it quickly.'
Passing the blazing torch down to Joshua, pointing at himself while the lady whose name is also unknown to my knowledge got herself a fair point. 'I need a firm explanation for this Joshua. If you have a baby, that means you have a wife too. You have a wife, don't you? Tell me. You are such a freaking asshole.'
A rambling Joshua appeared in front of us, calming his girl down while the top of his ears became reddish in color. 'I do not have a wife and I certainly have never had a kid. I do not know why...it is his baby! Yes, Seungcheol Choi is the culprit!'
It came all back around like a boomerang, shoving all the stigma for which I am apparently accused in the face. My native language mixed with our common speech in a swift, shushing my girlfriend down after lecturing my Korean American friend. 'What?! Have you gone mad? You are speaking in riddles dude. And are you dumb? She can speak English you know. Hailey, you will have to trust me. This is not my baby.'
The unstoppable arguing filled the room around us, a youthful laugh that could be heard from a mile away fought against the vociferous sound. Not planning to halt any minute, Joshua screamed the ultimatum which made us silent at once. 'Will you shut up?! How dare the three of you all ask about this baby? Believing us would have spared us so much energy.'
I got to give it to him, being pretty spot with his reasoning that made me agree unconditionally, but that died down at instant as I realized what Joshua had literally meant. 'Exactly! Huh?'
The gentleman recycled my wording, yelling resentment towards the attractive ladies as he longed his right arm towards the exit. 'Exactly, exactly, exactly. Get out of my house! Now!'
I tried to wage my honest sincerity in, but Hailey left with a heavy heart and no space for apologies. Joshua stood immovably at his place, the two of us forming a queue behind him while he turned around to question our weird behavior. 'What?'
My muscular arms folded together showed no mercy, murmuring my dissatisfaction in a low, threatening voice. 'Who is going to wash my underwear?'
Joshua shook his head in bewilderment, neglecting everything that has happened this morning. 'What?'
I could not back down from what I wanted to say to him, speaking more evidently this time. 'Who is going to wash my dirty socks now?'
Shrugged his shoulders in ignorance, Joshua spoke the half-truth that made me raise one thick eyebrow. 'Yah, where is my fault in this problem? It is all because of this child which is brought to earth by one of you guys. I am chickened out of this.'
This urge to bite hungerly back grew evidently huge, grabbing my laid-out opportunity to use the beauty of language. 'Why? Are you balgi bujeone?'
Knowing that Joshua did not pay enough attention in his younger days, the man confidently showed the surface beneath his chin to me. 'Yes, I am. You got a problem with that? If you guys do not mind, I need to get some beauty sleep which got interrupted by this nonsense.'
I took both of my hands above to show that I sort of gave up trying, shuffling behind him as I muttered precisely. 'No, I do not have any problem with that at all. Go, go back to sleep...balgi bujeone.'
The back of my head was turned against them, yet I could hear Joshua silently asking Jeonghan for a translation. 'Balgi bujeone?'
A killer smirk suited on the mascot's lips, giving the aggravating answer to Joshua in one word. 'Impotent.'
Joshua's deer-like eyes expanded in size, turning my broad body around as he complained in my oblivious face. 'What?! Do not call me impotent all right? I am not as foolish as you two. When I go outside the house, I keep less money and more condoms in my pockets.'
The voice of Jeonghan refuted all his precautions at once. 'Yes, and the condoms never leave those pockets, do they?'
While the gentleman turned to Jeonghan who yawned earnestly, he tried to pursue the tired guy to do something that could turn into a mess. 'Yah, why are you not saying anything to Seungcheol? He is the only one who keeps bringing random girls to the appartement. I have told him so many times to have some bloody standards.'
Okay, that touched my pride and dignity in the wrong spot. I pointed my index finger while popping the sensitive topic. 'Do not talk about standards okay. Just do not talk about standards. You know, the girls that you go out with have no standards. Do you seriously want to know why?'
Joshua gritted his teeth as he came closer to where I was standing. 'Why?'
My jocose habit to raise my thick eyebrow irritatingly high showed up for the many times today, locking my head to the right side. 'Because those ladies go out with you. If they go with me, their standards will skyrocket! I am the most handsome, youthful looking one out of us guys.'
The gentleman could not help himself to roll his eyes, speaking up again much to my annoyance. 'Funny, funny, funny. You really think that this is a joke.' Mocking Joshua's way of talking, I spoke as scheming and gentle as I could compromise for this one time. 'It is not funny, it is reality darling. What do you have to say now Hong? Speak clearly!'
Some gibberish spewed out of his mouth, holding my upcoming laughter in as I heard the rebuttal. 'Bujeone balgi!'
While I screamed the correct spelling of this phrase, Jeonghan struggled to come between our common bickering as he yielded in a high-pitched voice. 'Stop it guys! STOP IT!'
An abrupt wailing got us abnormally silent, the baby's crying echoing throughout the house which caused uneasiness among us. Like a designated action, we simultaneously got ourselves down on the grey slouch couch. Jeonghan was the first one who broke the talking silence, ruffling his long dark locks while formulating an ambiguous question. 'Why is she crying?'
Hailey got probably in my brains, stuttering my thought into short but clear-cut sentences. 'Because she...she is a girl. That is why.'
The mascot gawked at my answer, responded with a follow-up question. 'So?'
I leaned my spine against the couch, making up a valid reason for my opinion in which I got approval from Joshua. 'And girls always cry. I mean, we are sometimes the main cause of it.'
Folding both of his hands together as the little girl's tears were showing up at this point, Jeonghan helped himself to bow forward. 'That does not have anything to do with why she is crying now.'
And when the hope started to crumble, Joshua bluntly stated the most obvious clue that we had missed. 'She is probably hungry.'
With our bodies in front of the opened fridge, the three of us scanned our well-occupied food storage thoroughly. Joshua shuffled his deer-like eyes up and down through the layers while asking himself the question. 'What do we have?'
My dark brown eyes lighted up at the side of my take-out dinner, my stomach asking for nourishment as it growled audibly. 'Pizza, she would definitely like this.'
The teeth in my mouth had pressed down for the first bite until the gentleman grabbed his chance to mock me again. 'That one is six days old. How about beer?'
I spewed the one piece on the ground, not minding the mess while I frowned at Joshua's stupid suggestion. 'She did not turn 21 yet, did she? You are actually more dim-witted than I thought you were. Chicken sausage?'
Grabbing the meat without the packaging in my right hand, Jeonghan suggested that it was probably not a good idea either. 'What if the baby is a vegetarian?'
Those suggestive things got the acrimony out of me, listing the only options we had left. 'What should we give her then? Give her a mushroom? These pieces of popcorn? And how did this tennis ball end up over here? Should we just give her the ball to eat?'
A hand on my right side snatched the tennis equipment out of my grip, apologizing for the inconvenience as Jeonghan finally came up with the best idea. 'Sorry, what about baby food?'
Taking the leadership in this situation, I summed it all up while nudging the idea master to execute his conclusion. 'Ah yes, we could give her baby food. You should go downstairs and get her some of it.'
Clicking his tongue as usual, Jeonghan saluting towards us while walking backwards. 'I am not going, you are.'
While the mascot had disappeared from the scene, I set my left hand on Joshua's shoulder to congratulate him for winning the task. 'Well, Jeonghan is a lazy twit. Can you go please?'
Speaking about well-behaved morals, the gentleman left a huge yawn as a reminder to do it yourself. 'Sorry, I am tired.'
I just wished that I could get another set of helpful friends sometimes. Slamming the thrashy fridge closed, I hold this reasonable thought to myself. How difficult could it be to get baby food?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I cannot even believe myself that I wrote this crap lol. I might even rewrite this one later so I apologize :-)
Based on the Bollywood movie called "Heyy Babyy", this movie is way more mature to watch as a child (which I certainly did lol).
I will try to upload this book now once a week due to obligations that I need to meet for university.
Don't forget to vote dear readers!
Love,