Chapter Thirty-Eight
Walking down the hallway, there was a bounce in my step and a happy smile permanently plastered onto my lips.
It had been two weeks since Logan and I became official, and besides the fact that we had to keep it a secret from everyone, things had been going just amazing. Logan was a great friend, but an even better boyfriend. I mean, I knew I'd be happy with him, but I didn't know I'd be this happy.
Arriving at my locker, my smile widened--if that was even humanly possible--at the sight of Logan, who was casually leaning against the lockers beside mine. His hands were lazily shoved into the pockets of his jeans, and he stared straight ahead, unaware of how beautiful he was. He turned his head in my direction as if he had just read my mind, and the way his eyes instantly lit up at the sight of me made me want to melt into a puddle of goo. He smiled and pulled me in for a hug and was about to lean in for a kiss when he realized we weren't supposed to be showing public displays of affection at school and took a safe step back.
A little disappointed that I couldn't kiss him, I reached up to unlock my locker and offered him a small smile. "Hey."
"Hi," Logan was smiling and looking at me with a twinkle in his eyes. "I hope you don't have any plans tonight."
"And why is that?" I quirked an eyebrow and smiled in curiosity.
"Because," he started, "I made reservations at a really nice restaurant downtown for our first official date, and I was really hoping you'd go with me."
"Well, you're in luck," I smiled, "because I'd love to go with you."
His smile grew into a grin. He pushed himself off of the lockers and started walking away, promising he'd pick me up at seven. I nodded in agreement and once he had turned around completely so his back was to me, I couldn't help but stare at his retreating figure, thinking about how lucky I was to have someone as sweet as him as my boyfriend.
"Having fun there?"
Startled, I whipped around to see Faith standing right beside me, looking at me with raised eyebrows and an amused smile.
"W-What?" I asked innocently, turning around to face my locker and shoving my books inside.
"You know what. You were totally just staring at Logan!" She said through an amused laugh.
Not being able to come up with a good excuse of why I had been caught ogling Logan, I simply huffed in frustration. "So?"
Faith laughed at my response and shook her head. "As much as I want to say that I came here to tease you about Logan, I actually came here to ask if you wanted to hang out today. Tyler's going out of town for the first week of Christmas break, so I have absolutely nothing to do."
Pressing my lips together, I closed my locker and turned to face at her, a sheepish look on my face.
"Again?" She said, slumping her shoulders down in disappointment.
"I'm sorry!" I whined. "I just have something.. important.. to do."
"You always have something "important" to do." She accused. "You haven't been able to hang out for the past two weeks. We used to hang out almost everyday, and now all of a sudden you never can anymore. And I don't mean to sound like your clingy best friend, but I am your clingy best friend. You never have time for us anymore. I mean, I'm dating Tyler, and I still make time to hang out with you."
Her confession of how she felt opened my eyes and made me realize just how much this secret was affecting her. I was so busy being excited about Logan and I, that I was dedicating all my attention to him and completely shutting Faith out without even realizing it.
"Faith, I.." I trailed off, not wanting to keep lying to her but also afraid of what could happen if I did tell her. "I can't tell you," I said apologetically.
"I can't believe you." She said, shaking her head. "We're best friends. Best friends for crying out loud! How could you--"
"Okay, okay!" I cried, glancing around nervously to find our fellow peers staring at us as they walked by. Sighing, I grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her into the nearest janitors' closet. Closing the door behind me, I turned to face her and saw that she was looking at me impatiently, hands on her hips and eyebrows raised.
"Okay, I'll tell you." I said. And when she got overly excited to know what I had to say, I grabbed her by the shoulders to calm her down. "But, you have to promise me you won't tell anyone. Not even Tyler."
She nodded eagerly. "Cross my heart."
"Logan and I didn't just make up." I said slowly.
Frowning, Faith shook her head. "I'm lost."
Taking a deep breath, I took a step closer and whispered, "We're dating."
"YOU'RE WHAT?"
I winced and quickly placed my hand over her mouth. "Shh! Someone could hear you!"
Faith simply looked at me through wide, emerald green eyes. Once I was sure she was calm (well, calmer than before), I slowly removed my hand and watched her cautiously.
"You guys are dating?" She whisper-shouted, jumping up and down in excitement. "How? Since when?"
"Since two weeks ago," I revealed with a small smile. "The same night you told me to talk to him."
"Really? Oh, that's so great!" She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me tightly. "Why didn't you tell me? Isn't this good news?"
Letting go of her, I took a step back and nodded. "It's great news," I said. "For me. But for Kacey? Not so much."
Her eyes darkened at the mention of Kacey. "What did she do." She stated instead of asked, knowing very well something definitely happened.
"I was so ready to let the whole world know that I was Logan's girlfriend, but before we could tell any of you guys, Kacey saw us holding hands in the hallway and confronted me about it, saying that if we didn't break things off, she would do it for herself." I explained. "That's why, we didn't tell anyone. I didn't want to risk Kacey finding out just so she could ruin everything for us."
"Oh, hell no. If she thinks she can still mess with my best friend, she's sadly mistaken. Hold my earrings, I'm gonna go teach that b--"
"Faith!" I cried, unable to contain my laughter. "Put the sass away for just a second, alright?"
"Fine, fine, but next time there won't be an option." She said in all seriousness, crossing her arms over her chest angrily.
"I believe you." I chuckled. "But seriously, please don't tell anyone about this. I can't risk it."
"Fine, but I'll have you know I don't like this." She said, looking at me apologetically.
Smiling sadly, I looked away and reached for the door handle, pushing it open. We walked out together, ignoring the strange looks we were receiving by other students walking by.
"You know, I'm really starting to hate Kacey." She said, glaring ahead of her.
Laughing, I hooked my arm around hers and smiled. "That makes two of us."
❧
Later that day, I sat on my bed staring into the closet. I had given up on trying to choose the perfect outfit after trying on ten different outfits, only to realize I liked the first better, and then changing my mind. Maybe if I stared hard enough, the outfit would choose itself and come waltzing out of the closet and into my arms.
There was a knock at my door and I turned lazily to see who it was. Emmie poked her head in and smiled at me as if asking for permission to come in, and when I motioned with my head to enter, she walked in and smiled.
"Can't decide what to wear?"
"No clue," I said, heaving an annoyed sigh. "This is our first date, and I want to wear the perfect outfit."
"Where is this date going to be?" She asked, walking into my closet and taking a look around.
"This really nice restaurant downtown." I said. "That's all Logan told me."
"Are you thinking of wearing something simple or extravagant?"
"Simple," I said, standing up to check on my hair and makeup in the mirror. I had gone with a soft look and had curled my hair in loose waves. "Nothing too fancy."
"Colorful or few colors?"
"Few colors," I said as I swiped a new layer of lipgloss across my lips.
Emmie stopped talking for a few seconds and walked over to me with a dress in her hands. I turned around and saw she had picked out a dress that was black from the waist up and white from the waist down. It was one of the few dresses I owned that I never wore simply because I didn't want to.
"Try it on," Emmie said, handing the dress to me.
I quickly stripped out of my clothes and pulled the dress over my head, asking Emmie to help me with the zipper. When I heard zip come to a stop, I looked up and examined myself in the mirror.
I smiled. Simple but beautiful.
There was a sudden ring that echoed throughout the house, sending a frenzy of butterflies into my stomach. Emmie smirked at me in the mirror and turned around, saying she was going to get the door.
Knowing I definitely wasn't wearing heels, I quickly slipped on some black flats. I grabbed my purse and threw my phone and lipgloss in, before rushing out of my room. Coming to an abrupt stop, I ran back in and took one last look in the mirror.
Just in case! I thought to myself and ran out.
I could hear voices as I walked down the stairs, and the sound of Logan's made my heart flutter in a mix of excitement and nervousness. I reached the bottom of the staircase, cutting Emmie and Logan's conversation off short. Logan's back was to me and when he saw Emmie smile at me, he turned around, his blue-eyed gaze landing on me.
A grin lit up his face. "You look beautiful." He said as I walked over to him.
He wore a black suit that fitted his muscular body very well, topped with a shiny, black tie. To say he was handsome was an understatement.
"Thanks," I said, smiling shyly as he gently kissed my cheek and then wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to his chest. "You look beautiful, too." I said happily.
He let out a hearty chuckle and let go of me, grabbing onto my hand instead. "Ready?"
"Very," I said, grinning up at him.
Emmie walked over to the door and held it open for us. "Have fun," she sang, giving me a quick hug as I passed by her.
"Take good care of my niece, Logan!" She called out as we made our way to his car, hand in hand.
"Always," Logan replied, giving my hand a quick squeeze.
He walked foward and opened the car door for me, closing it once I was seated. Walking around the car, he hopped in as well and started the car. Emmie waved goodbye from the porch, closing the door once we were far enough away.
Logan reached over and took my hand in his, bringing it up to his mouth to give it a soft peck and then placing our intertwined fingers back on my lap. Smiling at him, I rested my head on the headrest, enjoying both the soft music that was playing on the radio, and being in the company of the guy I cared for most.
We were about to get to the restaurant, in the middle of talking about our plans for winter break and which days we were going to spend with my family (which was only Emmie and possibly Faith) and which we would spend with his family, when his phone suddenly rang from the cup holder.
Gently releasing his hold on my hand, he picked up his phone and pressed the answer button without looking to see who it was. "Hello?" He spoke, keeping his eyes trained on the road in front of us. "Oh, hey, mom."
At the mention of his mom, I looked over at Logan and smiled.
"Yeah, we're on our way to the restaurant. What's up?"
The small smile painted on his lips slowly started to disappear as she answered him, and all color drained from his face. "Is she okay?.. Shit.. Okay, I'll be there as soon as possible."
He hung up and ran a hand through his hair, which I had learned meant that he was stressing.
"What happened?" I asked softly and worriedly.
"It's Katie," he said shakily. "I-I don't know what happened, but my mom needs me at the hospital. I really hate to do this to you, but.. do you mind if we--"
"No, of course not," I replied quickly, reaching over to grab his hand. "Let's go."
"Thank you," he whispered, holding onto my hand tightly.
The drive to the hospital was stressful and tense, and all I wanted to do was wipe the worry off his handsome face. He didn't talk the whole ride there, and I didn't pressure him to. I simply held on tight to him, never once letting go except for when we arrived at the hospital and had to exit the car.
We walked up to the room where Katie was at, and I could just feel the stress eating away at him. When he reached the room we were looking for, the door was already wide open, and nurses were walking in and out. We slowly stepped inside and saw multiple nurses surrounding Katie, some checking her monitors, others connecting tubes to her, and the rest attending to what was happening. Mindy stood at the corner of the room, tears running down her face as she watched her daughter. Logan walked over to her and once she saw him, she burst into a fit of sobs and rushed over to hug him.
Standing at the doorway, all I could do was stare at the mass of nurses who were blocking Katie with their bodies. My heart dropped when I finally got to get a peak through everyone.
Katie was leaning over the edge of the bed, throwing up blood into a container that was being held by one of the nurses. She looked paler than ever and was sobbing as she vomited.
My breath caught in my throat, and my eyes prickled with unexpected tears. Not being able to watch what was happening to Katie, I slowly exited the room, grabbing onto the wall as I tried to find my breath and calm down. A doctor walked into the room and asked all nurses to step out, as he was about to speak with Mindy. I heard him tell Logan it was probably best if he also stepped out, just because it could be too much to take in.
He obeyed and walked out, closing the door behind him. Looking up at him, I decided against speaking because I could see the tears in his eyes and I knew he was overwhelmed by the whole situation. I knew I was, and I wasn't even related to Katie.
He reached out for me, and I quickly wrapped my arms around him. He held on to me as if it were the last time he was ever going to have a chance to hug me again. I was able to hear the doctor talking to Mindy, and I could also hear her crying. And then I heard a Katie's voice, which started out weak, but quickly rose to a scream.
"I want to die, I want to die," was what she kept repeating over and over, as loud sobs wracked her small, fragile body.
This time it was me who clutched onto Logan for dear life.
Hearing this wonderful, happy, six year old cry and scream that she wanted to die just broke my heart. She didn't deserve this, none of it. I could hear Mindy trying to calm her down with soothing words even though she herself was crying and in pain.
"Should we go in to help her calm Katie down?" I asked softly.
"Yeah," he said, nodding solemnly. "Maybe if she sees you and talks to you, she'll feel better."
Holding each other's hands, we walked into the room slowly and cautiously, just as the doctor was leaving. He gave us a solemn smile and walked away, probably heading to another patient. Looking inside, Mindy was sitting in a chair beside the bed, clearly tired, but talking to Katie anyway. Katie was still crying, but the sobs were no longer there. Mindy saw us and stood and walked over to us, smiling at me through her tears.
"Hi, honey," she said softly, stepping forward to hug me. When we pulled away, she turned to Logan. "Go talk to her--she was asking for you."
Logan nodded and walked over to Katie, smiling at her even though smiling was the last thing he wanted to do.
"I'm sorry you had to see all that," Mindy said quietly as she wiped her eyes with a tissue. "I know I ruined you're first date, but.. I just really needed him to be here."
"No, you didn't ruin anything." I said softly. "Katie means more to both of us than some date that can be made up later."
She smiled at me weakly and took my hand in hers. "I'm so grateful that you're in Katie's life right now. You mean a lot to her and she truly loves you like her own sister."
She looked over at Logan and Katie and I watched as her eyes started to water all over again. "The doctors say the treatment just isn't working like it's supposed to. She's not showing much improvement, and I try to be strong for her, but it's just so hard."
Just as I was about to give her a few words of encouragement, Logan walked over and touched my arm affectionately. "Katie wants to talk to you."
Nodding, I gave Mindy's hand a slight squeeze and then stood up, offering Logan a small smile. I made my way over to Katie's bed and smiled softly once I was close enough.
"Hi, cutie." I sang quietly, reaching out to hold her small, pale hand.
"Hi, Lauren," she said, her voice sounding congested from all the crying. Her eyes were rimmed with red, as well as her little button nose, but she still found it in herself to smile. "I really missed you."
"Yeah? Well, I missed you even more." I said, playfully tickling her side.
She giggled, the corners of her eyes crinkling in joy. When her laughter died down, she simply laid there, smiling up at me happily.
"Are you and Logan dating?" She asked, looking at me with an innocent twinkle in her eyes. "I saw you holding hands."
"We are, actually." I said with a nod, unable to hide my grin.
She smiled. "I told you he liked you."
"Yes you did," I said through a laugh. "Too bad it took me this long to realize you were right."
Katie simply smiled and didn't say anything in reply for a few seconds. It was as if reality was beginning to kick in because her smile started to slip away.
"Lauren?" She said, her eyebrows set in a slight frown.
"Yeah?" I tilted my head to the side as I waited for her reply.
"Why did I have to be different? Why couldn't I just be normal?"
Hearing those words come out the mouth of a six year old child made me want to completely fall apart. I could feel my throat tighten, but I wanted--I needed to be strong for her, like Mindy said.
"Everyone is different in one way or another. There aren't two people in the whole world who are exactly the same." I said, brushing a few strands of hair out of her face. "Besides, being normal isn't any fun if you think about it."
"But why couldn't I be different by having purple hair or blue skin? Why did I have to be sick to be different?"
"I don't know, honey." I admitted, offering her a one-shoulder shrug. "It's just something that happens to a lot of really good people. But you know what? This is only going to make you stronger than everyone else because if you really try hard enough, you'll kick this cancer's butt, and once you do that, you'll be able to do anything."
"That sounds fun," She said, a smile beginning to grow on her lips. "Thanks for coming to see me. You always cheer me up, Lauren."
She sat up and wrapped her small arms around my neck, the gesture making me want to cry.
"Of course, cutie," I whispered. "Anything for you."
❧
Logan and I walked in a comfortable silence as we made our way out of the hospital and to the car instead. Logan had taken my hand in his and was unconsciously rubbing the pad of his thumb across the back of my hand, which I found soothing under the circumstances.
"Thank you for coming with me," he said after we passed through the automatic doors at the entrance. "Having you there helped me get through everything."
Smiling, I leaned my head on his shoulder and hugged his arm with my free hand. "Don't thank me. You know I'll always be there for you; no matter what."
We reached Logan's car, and instead of hopping inside, he pulled me to a stop and leaned against the side of his car, looking down at me affectionately.
"I'm sorry we didn't get to go on our date." He said, taking both of my hands in his and pulling me closer to him. "Tonight was supposed to be special, and I totally ruined everything."
"You didn't ruin everything." I said, lying my head on his toned, muscular chest. The wonderful smell of apples and fresh detergent wafted up my nose, and I struggled to stay calm and not sniff him like a crazed dog. I lifted my head and smiled up at him. "And besides, we spent the whole night together which was the whole point, right?"
His bright eyes searched my face, a small smile tugging the corners of his lips upwards. "You're amazing, you know that?" He said, lifting his hand up to cup my cheek gently and softly.
"Yeah, I guess I am pretty amazing, huh?" I said, grinning playfully.
Logan simply laughed and didn't even give me the chance to answer because he had already leaned in and pressed his lips on mine.
He had kissed me plenty of times over the course of two weeks, but I swear, every kiss felt like the first; my heart beat accelerated and the butterflies in my stomach went wild. My thoughts were always jumbled up in my head, and I couldn't think about anything other than the fact that Logan's lips were on mine, soft and gentle and full of emotion. I had completely forgotten what had happened just a few hours ago and could only focus on how good of a kisser Logan was. His lips slowly moved against mine, and if he weren't holding me so close to him, I probably wouldn't be able to stand on my own.
He pulled away and rested his forehead on mine, the goofiest smile stretched across his lips. "I could kiss you all night."
"I wouldn't really mind that." I agreed, still feeling a little dazed from the kiss.
He laughed, the sound music to my ears. "Me neither, but Emmie might."
And although the moment was cut off short, I knew I didn't mind because as long as Logan and I were together, I was the happiest, luckiest girl in the world.
❧
Author's note: Thank you to everyone reading this, you guys seriously rock. If you liked this chapter feel free to vote, comment, and share because that would just make my day ❤️