She was numb. She wasn't happy or sad. She didn't want to cut herself, no, but she didn't want to have clear skin either. She was confused, but not enough that it really mattered.
All she wanted was Enid back. All she wanted was Enid to run up to her and wrap her arms around her, tell her everything was okay, but just like any feeling she had built up, Enid was gone too.
Sometimes, when she felt numb enough, she would pretend Enid was there again. Sometimes, when she felt crazy enough, she could feel Enid's touch again. In fact, sometimes when she felt crazy enough, she could feel her own touch again.
Everyone worried, though they didn't know why. Not that she cared, that is what numb ment...right? Wether Enid was gone or not, she would still be numb, because this wasn't the pain of missing, this was the pain of knowing you were slowly going psychotic.
Feeling the want to take your anger out with...a knife. Wanting to kill. Wanting to dig your fingers into someone's neck. Wanting to tear the flesh off someone's bones.
Seeing things, why was she seeing things! Thinking things, her brain scrambling itself into a million shards of glass than putting the mirror back together wrong.
Starving herself, but she didn't feel hungry. She didn't feel unmotivated to work, she just felt crazy. She knew she needed help, she knew she belonged in a ward, but she told no one. And no one asked her.
Someone help me.
Someone help me.
Someone help me.
Someone, please, hear me, help me.