Fortunately, the incident in Iron Blood has been quickly resolved without repeating what happened more than a year ago. The air in the hideout is tensely quiet and the center of it is Bismarck META. She holds a shard of ice between her thumb and index finger.
"......."
It's extremely cold to touch that joints and flesh will freeze in place. Not only is its surface almost crystal-like, but the ice also formed from a kansen's power doesn't melt or shatter.
"What's on your mind?" Ark Royal META slightly sips her tea
"My sister's coldness remains faint. Did Iron Blood succeed in restraining her?" Bismarck META places the shard on the table
"Wouldn't it be more of a nuisance to her?"
"The Zwei retrofit isn't the nuisance but the body rejecting her actions when she rampaged" Bismarck META lightly taps the shard with her index finger
It's a remnant from the restrained META's recent rampage, but it still has enough power to form a small portion rime on the table.
"Akagi got involved and tried to take out Tirpitz, didn't she?" Gneisenau META steps forward
"There was no benefit in helping Iron Blood, so she had motives to try and take out Tirpitz" Scharnhorst META does the same
"Did Akagi use the rampage as an excuse to destroy both the rigging and the kansen?" Hunter META crosses her arms
"What is she trying to achieve? If Akagi failed to hide her intentions, Iron Blood will see a Sakura Empire ship purposely murdering her sister" Renown META massages her temples
"Yeah. It'll be real bad for both sides" Repulse META swallows her breath
Everyone voices out their opinions and tensed in their own way. Akagi's involvement is unexpected even to them, but Bismarck META remains calm and stoic, seemingly unfazed by Akagi's failed attempt.
"I tried to intervene, but Tirpitz calmed down when she sensed me. That means even she wants to avoid trouble from both sides" Bismarck META calmly informs everyone
"From the looks of it, Tirpitz is grounded until they're certain she's stable and she doesn't turn everyone in a popsicle" Ark Royal META sighs in relief
"Honestly, what was Akagi thinking? You'd need heavy bombs to dent Tirpitz in her META form" Scharnhorst META shakes her head
"Plus everyone who isn't Victorious will receive an ice sword to the chest or a metallic beast's jaws.....but she still loses to the top tier aircraft carriers" Renown META waves her hand
"It's not because of raw power that makes Tirpitz a troublesome opponent. It's how durable she is and how she just won't stay down" Gneisenau META shrugs
Of the two sisters, Bismarck META has the raw power. Their battles are often inconclusive since Tirpitz refuses to stay dead on top of her defensive abilities.
"Tirpitz isn't the kind to resort to violence. She will only be hostile if she or someone dear to her is threatened" Bismarck META reassures them
"If only we could get near Iron Blood to keep a close eye on her" Scharnhorst META clicks her tongue
"......." Bismarck META isn't even listening
"What's the matter?" Ark Royal META notices
"It has been a while since I acted, hasn't it?"
Bismarck META straightens herself, speaking with her usual stoic and calm expression.
"What are you up to?" Ark Royal META quickly realizes
"I have no need to send anyone on an errand this time. I will act myself" Bismarck META stands up
"Isn't it a bit early?" Ark Royal META frowns in disagreement
"No, I stayed quietly longer than I should. This incident proved it"
The reason for Bismarck META changing her decision is obviously the unforeseen mishap in Iron Blood which leaves Tirpitz injured.
"Don't be too rash, Bismarck" Ark Royal META warns her
"I won't pick a fight with anyone, but I must do something with my sister"
"You can't just get near her that easily" Ark Royal META reminds the obvious
"I'm not careless, but I must find a way somehow....."
"Catching Iron Blood off guard will take a while" Scharnhorst META approaches her
"That's why, we need to be patient" Gneisenau META does the same
"Then I must focus on Akagi for the time being"
Bismarck META knows she has no choice but to agree as Iron Blood is on alert with the incident still fresh and how it concerns one of them suddenly losing control.
"Don't worry. I won't harm Akagi, but I will not turn a blind eye to this....."
Bismarck META sternly assures just as she walks past a tensed and displeased Ark Royal META.
"......If she really intended to harm Tirpitz, then I will respond to it just as she wished. However, she will learn why I despise pointless conflict"
"Don't get too worked up because of what happened" Ark Royal META grabs her shoulder
"I am not a violent or reckless person and will not respond with violence, but I still have to act.....as an older sister"
Bismarck META is visibly unhappy for everyone present, but it's her unchanging tone that worries Ark Royal META. It's true Bismarck META isn't the type to act recklessly, but she's calm yet tense as she balances out her concern as an older sister and position as an independent META.
________________________________________________________________________________
Tirpitz's injuries have healed quickly before the others, but she's not in the mood to be pestered and questioned, so she remains in the infirmary with nothing to do but stare at the ceiling and continue to rest. It still doesn't save her from King George V barging and ignores the resting battleship's hostile gaze.
"Aren't you at least pleased I came to check on you?"
King George V sits near her and casually asks while carefully peeling an apple.
"You stabbed me"
"It won't kill you since you refused to completely fuse with that body. As long as your wisdom cube is intact, you can repeatedly recover wounds and even body parts"
Rather than offer Tirpitz the apple, King George V nibbles on the sliced apples with no intent of sharing.
"Still, it puzzled me why you stabbed yourself"
"That wasn't me. It's this body acting up all of a sudden" Tirpitz lifts her right arm
"How strange. You had full control, now your body disobeyed you when you fought other kansens"
"A headless dragonfly is the best way to describe it....."
Tirpitz tries to recall how her arm gripped her wrist, strangles her and what she least expects - attempting to kill herself. It's a nuisance, but Tirpitz finds it more conflicting since it's the first time a dead person's instincts reject her.
"Then why not fully take over and snuff out the remnants of the body's information"
"Don't ever suggest that to me again" Tirpitz calmly warns her
"You just can't let go, can you?"
Since it's more of Tirpitz being sentimental and adding her stubbornness to it, King George V smiles in amusement.
"You forget it would mean this body will undergo METAmorphosis. That's the same as corrupting it to make it my own"
"That's the only way to regain the strength you once had in your prime" King George V waves the slice of apple
"I have no reason to return the strength I lost. Besides, I don't see any difference from it"
"Being a Bismarck-class, you had as much potential as Bismarck. It's your cynicism and self-willed behavior that stagnates your potential. You don't want to grow stronger on purpose"
"The potential you're referring to was helplessly killed by bombers"
"Hahahaha! It's your mentality that's hindering you. I've been told you were formidable like Bismarck META when you were still alive in your original body"
"......"
The only memory that comes to Tirpitz's mind is how she once sparred with Bismarck META, but their abilities naturally counter each other. They're both at a stalemate, but Tirpitz believes she cannot overpower Bismarck in a true clash.
"Shouldn't you be going home already? You didn't suffer much compared to the others"
"Victorious insists on staying for now and I can't leave her by herself. Besides, I need to update your actual older sister before she decides to intervene herself"
"I won't allow it"
Tirpitz is quickly hostile at the idea that Bismarck META will somehow find her way to get past Iron Blood or reach her in any way. A brief gust of cold wind gushes to King George V and the latter shivers in response.
"This is your fault for sleeping soundly while everyone is deathly worried you'll either die or go berserk" King George V shakes her head in dismay
"I didn't know I was inactive for days. Since it only felt like a day talking to a figment of my imagination"
"Whatever the case, just be glad you didn't get thrown in jail because Iron Blood believed the process was flawed"
King George V stretches out the small plate with a single slice of apple left to Tirpitz. The latter stares at it for a few seconds before reluctantly taking the last slice.
"You won't be able to sortie for who knows how long" King George V informs her of the possibility
"That's fine. My body is restraining my wisdom cube. Even in death, she's still resisting me......"
Tirpitz lightly grips her right forearm, sighing a mixture of sorrow and annoyance. It's the emotion of "longing" she has rejected for a long time ever since she denied everyone and cut herself off completely. Being incarnated in an alternate version of herself revived those emotions, but her pride continues to reject and deny them.
"Compared to the Tirpitz that we know, you're cynical, intolerant....and vocal. Your experience has smudged your personality that even I couldn't recognize you"
"What's the difference?" Tirpitz bites the last slice of apple
"You were like her too in the past: lonely and distant but gentle and caring" King George V responds with a calm expression
"......."
"Victorious finds you gentle and kind. The fact you're only relaxed when you're with her means she judged you correctly"
"I'm not a good person. At least the person you're looking at......" Tirpitz lowers her head
Thinking about the difference between her and the original Tirpitz stings her in the chest. It reminds Tirpitz of her initial personality before METAmorphosis and the unwanted resurrection. Ever since that incident, she has both died body and mind.
"That's why you've been given a second chance in life: to return who you used to be, the gentle and protective person you've forgotten" King George V smiles confidently
"You are all hopelessly clinging to that, huh. Do as you wish....."
Tirpitz doesn't have the strength or will to argue with King George V's genuine belief she could still revert to what makes her 'Tirpitz'. A part of her true thoughts wishes and longs for it, but the horror of what she's forced to endure as a "walking corpse" still shakes her into reluctantly hoping.
"I'm trying my best to provide consolation. What you need is a therapy session" King George V sighs in dismay
"........"
"You've been acting intolerant and annoyed as a facade all this time. Since you're bad at acting, I could see through your confusion" King George V crosses her legs
"I hated what I became and how I turned out. To spite the world and fall on the depravity of revenge - that isn't me....that isn't Tirpitz. That's why I want to return how I used to be"
At first, Tirpitz is hesitant to admit anything, but it's clear to her there's no one who's aware of her true nature. If she tells anyone, it will render her efforts in vain and mark her end. She is uncomfortable having to be honest with her emotions to someone who's cheerfully listening.
"It's the only time when I'm at peace. Having to always fight for my life with everything I got ruined me. I'm tired of seeking revenge, blaming others, and fighting without protecting anyone. It's just too.....tiring......"
Tirpitz continues out of impulse to vent out. Initially, she laments being forced to observe conflict, but the battle she endlessly experienced turned out to be worse than her loneliness. It tested her mental fortitude and emotional state, having learned of hopelessness and seeking death in the process.
"I'd give up all this strength just to forget everything and return to how I used to be......but that's already an impossible wish....." Tirpitz clenches her fists
"We all break at some point, Tirpitz. Even a proud knight like me will find myself in a corner one day. Before that time comes, I want to live with how I choose. You should do the same"
"I don't plan on living recklessly. This body never belonged to me"
"I'm saying you should be less wallowing and more experiencing your newfound life. Once you drop your facade, you'll have to abandon everything. Live while you still can, Tirpitz"
"Live, huh......"
It's the calmest moment for Tirpitz that she finally has time to wonder about her life and decisions. She's been primarily worried about the suspicion of others that it's only now she could admit she longs for her original personality prior to her METAmorphosis.
One hour later......
Tirpitz is fully healed, but lets the others maintain the obliviousness of it. It's a hassle to be questioned about her rampage abruptly ending by her decision to stab herself and collapse. Right now, her gaze is focused on the "doctor" studying the results of her physical examination, both her body and wisdom cube scans that is.
"I know who you really are - a dead META back to life by occupying the corpse of someone I dearly know"
Neumark approaches her with little worry or fear of a formerly hostile and dangerous META. Her voice lacks emotion and partnered with her stern facial expression.
"You figured it out on your own?" Tirpitz is only mildly surprised
"Something like that. Your rigging is connected to you, so it detected your corrupted wisdom cube. I would have run to reveal it to Bismarck, but King George V pointed a sword to my neck and showed me your letter"
"My letter?" Tirpitz frowns
"The one my Tirpitz wrote for the others. There were two of them apparently, but I was only shown her regrets for leaving us"
"To read the letter like that....."
Tirpitz loses her calm as she's defensive to anything personally related to her, especially to the last thing the original Tirpitz left behind. The room temperature drastically drops, but Neumark stands unfazed when she would normally be shivering and hugging herself.
"I don't know how to feel about it, you know. I did everything for her well-being, but she chose to let go on her terms. My Tirpitz lamented leaving us, but possessing her gave her enough time to come to terms with her inevitable fate"
"......." Tirpitz lowers her head
"You continued her life to both protect her wish of sparing our feelings and your longing for a second chance in life. I know you're only protecting yourself, but I'm still grateful she could die on her terms"
"Your Tirpitz always wanted to die fighting, so she decided to end everything including my grudge. It just reminded me how dumb I was when I was younger....."
Tirpitz clutches her chest, irritated at the memory when the wisdom cube finally gives out and she assimilates it in order to revive herself in her current body.
"Why didn't she just choose to die peacefully? Anyone with the right mind would prefer to die in their sleep....." Tirpitz clicks her tongue
"You were a ghost fueled by revenge, but now you regret not being able to understand her" Neumark raises an eyebrow
"It's not the same as having her memories....."
"So why suddenly give up taking over the body back then?"
"I was caught in her memories.....and a whirlpool of emotions. Had I succeeded, it would still be like this but I'll be sulking at some far off island until someone finds me"
"Hmph. It just showed how you were lost into something you didn't even want"
"........."
The words of a retired commerce raider has Tirpitz be lost in her thoughts for a moment. It baffles, but her mood is light speaking out her confusion and regrets. She doesn't notice it herself, but she becomes mellow when being honest to someone, reflecting how she's always been a gentle person.
"Personally speaking, I haven't fully accepted your whole situation. My Tirpitz's dead and someone else is pretending to be her"
"......." Tirpitz just listens
".....But I'm not in the position to dictate whether this is right or wrong. This is Tirpitz's wish, and I would never disrespect it"
Neumark stretches out her hand and points right at Tirpitz's head while the latter blinks and blankly stares at her.
"However, if you were to taint my Tirpitz's existence in any way, I will end your facade in front of Bismarck"
"At some point, I planned to confess. I'd rather dismantle this charade than have them discover it for themselves. It's less painful this way....."
"......." Neumark blinks in surprise
To Neumark, the Tirpitz in front of her is supposed to be about self-preservation, but she's genuinely considering revealing her secret before anyone finds out.
"If I were to die before confessing my sin, can I request to have my body destroyed immediately? That way, I can't come back to life. Both she and I agreed to permanently stay dead in our next death"
"Leaving your last wish to others is a sure way to die. Don't try to get yourself killed faster!"
Furious, Neumark grabs Tirpitz's collar with both hands and rapidly shakes the sturdy battleship. It's not the same Tirpitz anymore, but she's naturally angry at how she's prepared to die anytime.
"I'm just making sure no one pulls me away from a peaceful rest in the afterlife or if there's such a thing for kansens" Tirpitz pulls herself away
"At least, I want to be there to give this body a proper rest......"
Neumark immediately calms down and gently pats Tirpitz's left shoulder. To her, she can only see a META moving and speaking with the body like a stringless puppet.
"I hope so too....."
Tirpitz softly tells herself since she solemnly wishes to not have the body of another suffer being reanimated and repeating the one mistake she fears the most.
Two more hours later......
Tirpitz remains in the infirmary to both protect herself and others since the incident she caused is still fresh. Not everyone has recovered, and she still wants to avoid being pestered with questions by the sharp kansens who might see through her excuses.
".....Come in"
By the second knock in her door, Tirpitz quickly permits even when she's unsure who's visiting her unannounced.
"How are you feeling, Tirpitz?"
Bismarck shyly asks seconds after slowly pushing the door open. She spots her sister standing by the window and seemingly watching the kansens going by their day from a distance.
"Neumark said both my wisdom cube and physical body are healthy"
"I'm glad you recovered quickly especially after you lost control and ended up stabbing yourself"
"...." Tirpitz swallows her breath
In Tirpitz's mind, it's a memory she doesn't want anyone to bring up because her body moved on its own. The persistent will of a dead battleship forced her to plunge her sword right to the solar plexus. It's only due to not fully assimilating the body that she could recover in less than a day and repair any damages.
"Tirpitz, you look confused?" Bismarck notices her staring in wide-eyed shock
"What do you mean I stabbed myself?" Tirpitz forces herself to act cluelessly
"You lost control because of an unforeseen error and in the end, you stabbed yourself and passed out"
"Did something happen because of me?" Tirpitz takes a step forward
"You don't remember unleashing another blizzard again?"
"A....gain?"
Tirpitz blinks and shakes her head in disbelief, but she can barely focus seeing Bismarck in great shock that she slides back her left foot a bit.
"Tirpitz, what's the last thing you remembered?"
"I remember waking up after hearing a commotion and a roar....I think. Then this head splitting headache made everything dark and it just stopped there......"
Rather than not remembering everything at all, Tirpitz chooses to barely recall her brief awakening before cutting it off.
"Bismarck, did I end up hurting someone? I can already tell I must have caused another incident....."
"You did. Although there were no casualties, several were hospitalized for frostbite while few others were hurt trying to stop you. Five of them were Iron Blood ships while one of them is Akagi"
"I lost control of myself.....again"
Tirpitz takes a few steps back until her back smacks against the wall and her right hand pressing the side of her head.
"I caused it because the only way to cure the META's corrosion on your body is to have you undergo a Zwei retrofit. The process is incomplete because the rigging got corrupted and overwhelmed you"
"For me to be controlled by my rigging......is disgraceful. While I blacked out, I hurt my own comrades"
Personally speaking, Tirpitz has little concern for most Iron Blood ships when she barely knows any of them. So long as they're alive, Tirpitz won't focus on them. Her primary focus is towards Bismarck and Victorious.
"It felt like I was in a long dream. While I was drifting in my mind, my body was rampaging and injuring my allies. This isn't something I can forgive myself"
"I did it to keep you from either dying or undergoing a full METAmorphosis. Forgive me for gambling your life for the chance of making sure you survive" Bismarck clenches her fists
"I don't know what exactly happened, but I'm scared to know how I hurt the others....."
"It's only fortunate you didn't lay a hand to Victorious, so she was the only one unscathed"
"Victorious.....was there too?"
Tirpitz curls her right hand into a fist and hits the wall behind her with a loud thud. She holds back enough strength not to accidentally spread ice on the surface or leave a visible crack.
"She tried to calm you down which would have succeeded if Akagi didn't keep attacking you. At least that was based on King George V and Victorious"
"That loud mouth carrier risked herself for me again......" Tirpitz takes a deep breath
"It's only fortunate I arrived in time before Akagi got herself killed
"So how did it end that I have to stab myself and collapse like an idiot?"
"I don't really know, dear sister. Right before my eyes, you plunged your blade to your chest and fainted in my arms"
"........"
Tirpitz sneakily observes Bismarck's physical condition and notices she's mostly healed, so she's freely moving without even flinching in pain. It's uncertain if it's due to upgrading to Zwei or just being inherently too stubborn to lie down.
"I know this is too much for you right now....." Bismarck approaches her
"It certainly is. I thought I just had a long nap only to end up causing serious trouble which left several allies injured" Tirpitz bites her lower lip
"Don't blame yourself. I thought I was certain the process would be free of flaws, but the mishap caused you to hurt others. I was the root cause and not you"
Bismarck hesitates for a second, but she places both of her hands on Tirpitz's shoulders because she wants to shoulder the blame for initiating and approving the whole process.
"Neumark said I'm free of the corrosion you just said, so you still succeeded....but there was still a mishap"
"I won't let anyone blame or punish you when you were a victim of this incident too" Bismarck's hands tensed
"I don't think I can even muster the strength to sortie after what I did"
"Take as much rest as you need. Your mind and body needs to recover after you have nearly become a full META"
"......."
Tirpitz averts her gaze for a split second because Bismarck genuinely believes Tirpitz remains a "normal kansen" when the thought rushing in Tirpitz is how she restrains the urge of responding how she's already one of them.
"I'm just glad I didn't lose you this time"
"......!" Tirpitz is shocked
Bismarck's next action catches Tirpitz by surprise. She wraps her arms around Tirpitz and suddenly pulls her to her chest. The sudden comforting action shocks Tirpitz that both her thought process and breathing stops for a few seconds.
"........"
She could feel the physical closeness to Bismarck's chest and how her hands tremble even while embracing her. To Tirpitz, it's filling her with anxiety and utter confusion, but the warmth of being in her sister's arms reflexively eases her expression and breathing.
"This is....." Tirpitz softly mutters to herself
It's still causing her anxiety but not the terrible kind for her. In fact, she could sense her lips and hands shaking. She couldn't force herself to pull away, so she mutters her shaking strength to lift her second hand and gently touches Bismarck's back.
"So long as I stand, I won't let anyone lay a hand on you. I won't lose this chance again....."
Bismarck softly promises to her younger sister since she already learns there's nothing wrong displaying her secretive gentle and protective side to the people close to her.
"......."
Tirpitz is mostly lost in the moment that Bismarck's words don't reach her. She's focused on engraving the sensation of Bismarck's arms embracing her and being closely pressed to her chest.
"........"
Bismarck slowly loosens her arms around Tirpitz when she senses someone standing by the door.
"I.....might have ruined a moment....." Victorious nervously laughs
"I-it's fine. I just checked on Tirpitz's condition" Bismarck clears her throat
"I....I didn't see anything" Victorious turns her head to the side
Victorious decides to play blindly before Bismarck can ask her to ignore the unusual and awkward moment.
"The icy blockhead is healthy? Can I slap her now for the trouble she caused"
"There's no need for punishment, Victorious. Tirpitz is much of a victim as us"
Bismarck moves away from Tirpitz and approaches Victorious as an instinctive way to leave after Victorious witnessed Bismarck being a loving older sister.
"What do you mean?" Victorious tilts her head
"Tirpitz has no recollection of what happened. I suppose it's natural because the rigging nearly corrupted her" Bismarck briefly explains
"So it's all pitch black to her"
"That seems to be the case. Tirpitz woke up not knowing she rampaged and stabbed herself"
"Bismarck, I'd like to talk to Tirpitz"
Victorious steps inside the room, seemingly baffled at the idea that Tirpitz is completely clueless of the trouble she caused for everybody.
"I will leave it to you two. They'll probably be looking for me by now"
Bismarck respects their need for a private conversation and tips her cap shortly before leaving the area.
"Is it true you don't remember freezing everything and starting hitting people left and right?"
Victorious rushes to Tirpitz and stares at her right in the eyes, being skeptical and possibly suspicious compared to Bismarck who easily believes her.
"I'm sorry but I really couldn't recall everything. It's all pitch black and quiet like my mind was separated from my body" Tirpitz shakes her head
"Is it like one of those experiencing a dream and forgetting it once you wake up?" Victorious tilts her head left to right
"I don't know since I only remembered waking up in the infirmary"
"You weren't really mindless when you lost control"
"I.....I wasn't?" Tirpitz nearly becomes nervous
"Yeah. You were looking and talking to me like you always do.....but you were completely unhappy waking up with the Zwei retrofit"
Victorious is certain of the conversation when Tirpitz is rampaging, so Tirpitz forgetting the whole incident or at least being unaware leaves her baffled.
"That's why I wondered if it's like you were in a dreamy state. It must be too much since you woke up rather violently" Victorious raises her index finger
"I.....what?" Tirpitz shakes her head in surprise
"You blew up half of the facility and buried Bismarck under rubble" Victorious lightly hits Tirpitz's shoulder
"Bismarck hid that fact from me so I wouldn't blame myself....."
"I was really worried you'd lose control for good and end up being contained to another prison in the middle of a desert"
"......."
Tirpitz vaguely recalls the first few minutes of her waking up with a new rigging and a retrofit. She attacked Bismarck due to the mental shock of being forced to wake up and the sudden connection with the modified rigging.
"Are you sure you don't remember anything else? Maybe you should concentrate since you're an icy blockhead"
The incident is too recent, so Victorious has doubts on what transpired, especially of how Tirpitz perceives it. Victorious doesn't suspect Tirpitz and does believe her, but her intuition is causing her uneasiness that it's annoying her.
"No matter how hard I try, it's all too dark. There's a large gap in my memory, so I don't know anything useful"
"......."
In Victorious's perspective, Tirpitz is trying to avoid the topic rather than be worried that she doesn't recall a "tantrum" caused by a mishap in the middle of the process.
"Hmm....."
She knows Tirpitz would be more worried about unknowingly hurting others, but the current Tirpitz keeps tensing her hands out of displeasure with the questions.
"It's like something took over me back then while the real me was completely unconscious" Tirpitz tightly closes her eyes
"......" Victorious observes her gestures and tone
"Hopefully it's just something that was in that incident and it doesn't linger"
"So in your memory, it's all just black"
"......" Tirpitz slightly frowns
"Tirpitz?"
"Yes. I must have become someone else when I lost control like mindlessly lashing out" Tirpitz shrugs
"You weren't mindless. In fact, you're completely capable of a conversation"
The Tirpitz during that incident is uncertain of what happened, but she's rational enough to respond and briefly listen......before proceeding to attack someone again.
"I couldn't remember a single conversation or even an image....." Tirpitz rubs her temple
"Then there's nothing. Not even a faint memory?" Victorious is insistent
"All I could remember is hearing voices then a roar. After that.....I felt like I was drowning before I passed out"
Tirpitz lightly taps the side of her head with her fingertips. As much as possible, she wants to cut off her recollection to only the moment of her waking up during the Zwei retrofit.
"To think the incident only ended when my body forced me to stab myself and pass out in front of Bismarck" Tirpitz sighs in annoyance
"Heh?" Victorious blinks once in confusion
What Tirpitz truly feels about the conclusion slips from her without notice since she's too focused on how a dead kansen persisted past her death.
"Bismarck told me how I stabbed myself and passed out. Although no one died, I still caused trouble for others"
"No one thinks it's your fault. Well, you unleashed the blizzard, but you didn't cause the whole incident" Victorious grabs Tirpitz's hands
"Bismarck blamed herself and said she wants to take responsibility"
"I get what Bismarck feels. She believed nothing would go wrong after much preparation, but nothing is foolproof"
"......"
The process wouldn't succeed anyway and Tirpitz's the only one certain of it. The Zwei retrofit only serves as a shackle to her and to her speculation, it's what triggered the shell of a body to reject violence during each fight.
"I sort of got you to listen until you nearly tried to turn Akagi into a popsicle. She may be fine now, but she shouldn't have taunted you" Victorious pouts
".....I didn't hurt you, did I?" Tirpitz reluctantly asks
"Don't worry. You didn't even scratch me, but I fumed when you ignored my words"
The side of Victorious's lips twitches as if she's itching to choke Tirpitz for being stubborn even if she doesn't recall everything about the incident.
"I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I hurt you without knowing it. Plus, she should have made me commit suicide" Tirpitz mumbles on her second statement
"What?"
"I meant I would rather put a blade on my skull if I attack someone I call a friend"
"Don't be too hard on yourself. I'm just glad the icy dummy I know is still here and not a META who hates everyone in Iron Blood"
Victorious smiles in gratefulness and throws herself in Tirpitz's arms, treating her like an occasionally grumpy and regularly stubborn "polar bear".
"I won't leave. I promise......" Tirpitz solemnly promises
Tirpitz lifts her hand and pauses before she could touch the back of Victorious's head but gives in to her instinct and gently pets her know. She knows Victorious wants to get pampered especially when she's relaxed and in a great mood, but Tirpitz can't remove her own worry for how kansens like Victorious perceives her as the normal Tirpitz.
(What is it you're afraid to tell me.....?)
While Victorious is relieved that Tirpitz remains normal, her deep emotions keep her uneasy throughout the conversation with her. She couldn't ignore how Tirpitz is tensed and attempts to be evasive when she shouldn't have a reason to. The last thing Victorious wants is to doubt her friend but worry and doubt begins to build up.
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Chapter 17:
When Iron Blood operations return to normal, Tirpitz focuses on subduing the lingering will of the body after realizing her output is restricted. A surprise visit from Alabama proves to be both a blessing and a curse to Tirpitz. Meanwhile, Akagi has an unexpected "guest" when she went out on a solo mission.