HeavenLeigh POV
3 months later
"But early this morning, when I opened my eyes
That old lonesome feeling, took me by surprise
I guess you meant more, than I realized
The love we had stays on my mind,
The love we had stays on my mind" I sang on stage.
I'm 9 months pregnant, almost ready to give birth, and I had a performance tonight. Everybody's here, the whole family.
I also allowed Honesty to bring her new boyfriend, D'Angelo. They took things slow before putting a title on it and just recently he finally asked my baby to be his girlfriend.
Since she's 16, almost 17 I allow her to date.
Kumar is here and he brought his friend, Genesis. Which is obviously more than a friend but I don't know what they call whatever it is that they're doing. I always laugh when he tells me about it.
And of course Remy and Latrel is here, along with my hubby, Kamal.
Remy left their song Jr, back with their babysitter because he's still little.
Singing this song is a bit emotional for me because I wrote it about Roddy when he first passed away. And today's his birthday, so.
It's an emotional time. For everyone.
"And oh boy, I've been remembering
The good times that we used to share
My thoughts of you don't have an ending
And memories of you, are everywhere" I sang.
I looked at Honesty in the audience and she had her eyes closed and her hand over her heart as she mouthed the lyrics.
My eyes watered from the visual but I kept going.
Roddy is still a pivotal part in everyone's lives even though he's gone. We haven't forgotten about him, we just learned to move on.
My love for Roddy is not romantic, but it's a general everlasting love. And I'm glad he knew that before he left.
"But why should I tell you?
It's not your concern
You win some, you lose some
I've lost and I've earned
It's just that you felt lonely
With no place to turn
But here at the end, I'll find...
The love we had stays on my mind
The love we had stays on my mind" I sang out.
Everybody started yelling and clapping for me and I seen cameras flashing, as I sighed and looked down for a moment.
My pain is for my daughter, who probably doesn't even remember how much her father loved her. And I know she's in pain because of how he left, but has yet to express that.
Everyone started screaming even louder and looked to the left of the stage. I scrunched my eyebrows wondering what they were looking at, and when I looked I seen my mother walking on stage with kleenex tissue.
I poked my bottom lip out and frowned as I held my heart. She knows me.
She knew I was on the verge.
And just seeing her and feeling her overwhelming support made me shed tears on stage. I didn't even know she was here.
My mom held the sides of my face and kissed my forehead. "You're alright, my baby. You're alright." She said in my ear as we hugged.
"Give it to God my baby. She'll open up soon." My mom said to me, and that gave me chills.
I never told anybody how it bothers me that Honesty hasn't opened up to me about how she feels in regards to her father, I just kept it to myself.
So it sent chills down my body that my mother knew how it bothered me.
I have to give it to God, and give my daughter to God, and allow her to feel the situation and come to me when she feels she's ready to.
That's why I never ever pressured her to do so. She has to when she's ready.
My mom dried my tears with the tissue and gave me another kiss on the forehead, then my cheek before she waved at everyone in the audience, and gracefully walked off.
-
Honesty POV
I sighed as I folded my arms.
Today is my father's birthday and my mom had a segment in her show where she dedicated it to my father like she does every year.
I feel like I shouldn't be celebrating his life, nothing about him. He left me.
Didn't think about how it would affect me later in life. So why should I even celebrate his life? Why should my mom pay homage when he wasn't even good to her when he was alive?
Got on drugs and lost his mind.
It's a lot of questions I have, but I just can't bring myself to ask my mom them right now. I just don't wanna even talk or think about it.
I don't know. Everytime his birth and death day comes, I'm always in confusion, anger and such and such.
"You okay?" D'Angelo asked in my ear as he put his arm around my shoulder.
"I don't know why I'm here or why I came" I said.
"To support your mom" He said.
"Yeah but I mean during this segment about my father." I said.
He sighed.
"It's okay Honesty.." He said.
"It's not" I said.
"But it is." He said.
"He left me, and here I am saying happy birthday to the man that didn't care enough to stay alive for me. No" I said as I was making my way through the crowd to leave out.
"Honesty wait" D'Angelo said chasing after me.
I seen Kamal turn his head seeing me leave and he scrunched his eyebrows saying "Honesty!"
But I didn't wanna be in here.
-
Kamal POV
HeavenLeigh was on stage and seen honesty run out, but I didn't want her getting distracted so I mouthed "Keep going, I got her"
She nodded her head as she continued to sing and I ran out the venue and went out to get Honesty.
As I went outside I seen her lil friend D'Angelo standing with her with his arm around her.
That's her boyfriend now but I'm still gone call him her lil friend till I'm ready to accept that fact that she is growing up.
"Honesty, you okay?" I asked her.
"She's having a moment" D'Angelo said.
"Yeah I can tell" I said. She sighed.
"I don't understand why we gotta pay homage to him." She said. And I sighed knowing she was referring to Roddy.
"He was a music mogul to everyone in the audience, and he's our family, and he's your father" I said.
"Yeah but he left. He chose to take his life knowing he had a kid." She said folding her arms.
I always knew there was some type of resentment there but she never expressed it.
"Honesty.." I said.
"It doesn't matter, look, I'm just gonna go to the car. Is that okay?" Honesty asked looking up at me.
"I think your mom would want you in there with her.." I said.
"Oh- Of course, yes. I just- Okay, can I come in when she's done with segment about my dad?" Honesty asked.
I got quiet for a second to hear what HeavenLeigh was singing and it was her very first single that put her on "Tell me you love me"
"She's done with it, she's singing tell me you love me" I said.
"My favorite! Okay, I'm ready to go back in" Honesty said.
I kissed her forehead and she cheesed before grabbing D'Angelo's hand and we went back inside.
-
HeavenLeigh POV
"As I'm closing out the show, I have to end it with this song.." I trailed off before my band started playing the music and they screamed.
I gripped the mic and closed my eyes as I began to sing.
"And I am telling you!
I'm not going...
You're the best man, I've ever known
There's no way I can ever go
No, no, no, no way!
No, no, no, no way I'm living without you
Said I'm not living without you
I don't wanna be free
Said I'm staying, I'm staying
And you, and you, and you!
You're gonna love meeeeee
Heyyyy, ooh ooh ooh ooh" I sang out.
Everybody was screaming and I held my stomach with one hand while singing into the mic, with my eyes closed.
"Tear down the mountains
Yell, scream and shout
And you can say what you want, I'm not walking out
Hey
Stop all the rivers
Push, strike and kill
I'm not gonna leave him
There's no way I willlllllllllll" I sang out.
I held out that will for soooo long, everybody started screaming. I held my arms out as I sang from my core.
"Anddddddd I'm telling YOU!" I sang loudly, and everybody was screaming and filming me.
"I don't wanna be freeeee
That's why I'm staying, I'm staying
I'm staying, and I'm staying!" I sang out as I opened my eyes.
"YOU BETTER GO HEAVENLEIGH!" I heard Remy yell from the audience and I smiled as I kept going.
"You're gonna love me
Ooh ooh love me,
Ooh ooh love me
Hey!" I sang out before they dropped the beat and I smiled at the audience before waving.
Ended off with a bang.
"Thank you! Thank you!" I said before blowing everyone a kiss and I was led off the stage.
-
Kumar POV
As we got home, I decided I wanted to talk to Honesty and see if she was okay.
I kinda seen how she acted at the concert and I didn't wanna address in front of anyone so I was gonna wait till we got home, and I did.
I walked up the stairs and down the hall, seeing her bedroom door was open.
I seen her looking at pictures of her father, and holding what looked like one of his chains and I knocked on the door still, even though it was opened.
When I knocked she immediately tossed the pictures and chain to the side and said "Oh- Kumar, come in"
"I was just checking on you" I said.
"Oh I'm fine" She said shrugging as she picked up her basketball. She laid down and started tossing it in the air, and catching it.
"Are you?" I asked.
"Yep" She said.
"Well you kinda ran out at the concert so" I said.
"I was just frustrated. I always get frustrated when I think about my dad. I don't know how to feel about him that's all" She said.
"I understand that" I said.
"Life goes on though so, everything will be alright" Honesty said.
"You can express yourself Honesty, you don't always gotta sweep it under the rug" I said.
"Talking about things and expressing whatever it is you think I feel ain't gonna help me. It won't bring my father back, it won't do nothing but make me mad so. I'm coo" Honesty said chuckling.
She laughs it off but shes hurt.
Which she knew how to express that.
"I feel you. I just want you to know that I'm here for you if you need me aight? You my big sister and I got you." I said.
"I know you do. Thank you Kumar" She said giving me a hug and I hugged her back saying "You're welcome"
-
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