Maddy's POV
I checked the time and it was already 5 PM and we were here at Bada's apartment she was not home yet.
Minah is getting ready to meet her Mom and I told her she can just leave me... I'm still jetlagged and I want to rest even just a bit... Not to mention I'm going to the hospital for my check-up since Mom had been nagging me to send her pictures of the result of my check-up, and also I have to go to dance classes tomorrow to teach some dancers which is the reason I'm here in the first place.
"Are you sure you're going to be fine here? As much as I'd like to bring you... Mom kinda made it evident she wanted to have a private chat with me" She said pouting
"It's okay Minah, I'm not a kid, I can handle myself... You should enjoy your time with your Mom, stop worrying about me" I told her patting her on the head and she smiled at me
"I'm happy that nothing became weird between us you know? Like we didn't develop feelings, we treat each other like friends still, and we are so good together... Do you think we would be great furmoms?" She said brushing some blush on her face and I laughed
"I'll think about that"I gave a jokingly response.
We said our goodbyes and she left... I walk around Bada's apartment, there are a lot of books, like a lot... I wonder if she had read all of these
A lot of framed pictures of her, her dad and mom, and students around the place... A notebook caught my eye since there was a piece of paper or some sort peeking from the pages, my curiosity got the best of me and I pulled out the paper, which turned out to be photos
She had our pictures printed out... I've never seen these hard copies of our pictures before
"You know it's not nice to touch other people's stuff without their permission right?" I turned around swiftly and hid the photos behind me
"Hey..." I tried to act innocently as Bada removed her shoes and walked into the living room, my eyes were glued to all her moves, even her putting her bad, keys, and jacket on the sofa
"Where's Minah?"She asked as she grabbed a white shirt from the cabinet inside her room
"She went out to see her Mom" I replied to her taking my time to place back the photos in my hand to where it was before
"So you know that she's not coming home tonight?" She asked as she grabbed the photos from my hand as well as took the notebook from my hand and placed back the photos neatly
My mind panicked, why didn't Minah tell me she was not coming home tonight?
Bada and me? In the same place? On our own? that's not a good idea at all
She didn't react at all, like it was a normal thing for her to do, she didn't say anything, after doing that she headed straight to the kitchen and grabbed a bottled water checking the fridge for food
Even if we're not talking to each other, I can feel the tension filling up the room right now, and it has both of us in a chokehold... or I'd like to believe that the two of us are feeling the same tension.
"You said Minah is not going home tonight?" I asked trying to contain the panic I was feeling right now
"Yeah... When she goes to her Mom they stay at my Dad's house all the time" She responded, eating an ice cream on the dining table
It's chocolate... A chocolate-flavored ice cream... I gulped at the temptation and imagined that ice cream in my mouth
But even if I was craving the ice cream I couldn't take my eyes away from Bada as she scooped the ice cream and placed it in her mouth, her lips sucking on the spoon
"You know... You don't have to stare at me you can ask if you want me" She smirked
I squinted my eyes in annoyance
Well... she's not entirely wrong
"In your dreams... I was looking at the ice cream!" I said turning my head away from her and I heard her chuckle
Her angelic laugh has always made me crazy... It's mind-boggling how it still has the same effect on me
"Stop being stubborn and sit here" She said in a serious tone
I didn't want to but my body felt like it had it's own mind I didn't hesitate to sit in front of her
"So Minah... How long have you been guys together?" She didn't even think twice to ask
"We've known each other for about a year now" I answered her with the only answer that I had for the question as I grabbed the spoon from her hand to get some of the ice cream in her bowl
"So you didn't replace me right away?" She asks as she leans back in the chair looking down at me
I just raised my eyebrows at her
"How about Redlic? How long have you guys been together?" I asked her remembering the girl I saw at the restaurant
"I'm not answering that" She said looking away from me
"So you replaced me right away" I said to her smirking
"No" She answered so fast
"That wasn't a question" I said rolling my eyes
"You think I can replace you?" She asked as she rested her chin on her palm
"Given that you can't answer my question that only means you've been with her for quite some time now, and not answering me is going to prevent me from having to hate you" I said focusing on the ice cream that is now in front of me
"So you don't hate me?" She asked as I looked straight she's looking straight to my eyes
"No Bada, I despise you" I said without hesitation and her strong girl act dropped as she looked at me almost pleadingly
I wasn't lying when I said I despise her, looking at her eyes made me remember the pain of her leaving so abruptly, how I cried endlessly longing for her to be beside me, how depressive I became to lose her without any explanation, to feel like she took a huge part of me with her when she left, how I forgot to take care of myself by the thought of what's the point since she's not around anymore.
But at the same time, looking at her right now... Dropped all of my guards, all the nights and days that I've told myself that I'm over her, that I'm okay now.
Looking at her makes me wanna jump into her arms.
I wanna hate her so much for what she did, but all I can feel right now is... longing... longing for every piece and part of her.
"Stop staring at me" I spat at her as I stood up bringing the bowl onto the sink
"Do you want to eat dinner?" She asked, how could she do that?
How could she pretend that nothing happened? That she robbed me of three years of my life with her? That she left me clueless for those years? That she left without any explanation whatsoever
"I'm not talking to you" I said as I sat down on the couch
She didn't say anything but she stood up and grabbed her jacket and walked to the main door to put on some shoes and she got out without saying anything to me
I couldn't take it anymore I started crying, my heart felt so heavy, all I can remember is the pain but I wanted to hold her, to touch her, to hug her why do I feel like this when it comes to her? It's been years Maddy, she moved on already, she can't even tell you how long she had been with that girl which means she didn't have a hard time replacing you, while it took you two years before letting someone in and you're not even completely letting that person in, she's barely scratching the surface because of what Bada did to you.
I laid down on the floor as my sobs got lower and lower, I heard the door open and saw Bada holding plastic bags and looking at me, she ran right away to me and kneeled down
"Are you okay?! What happened?" She asked, worry is etched all over her face as she held my face
Warmth, I felt my whole body being electrocuted with her touch I got startled and swayed her hands away from me
"I'm fine" I said as I sat down wiping the tears from my eyes
"I bought some food... If you don't want to eat with me you can stay in my bedroom, I can sleep here on the couch" She said as I sat down on the couch, she walked to the kitchen prepared the food she bought, and placed it in the microwave
"You don't have to I can sleep here, this is your house" I replied to her
"Don't argue Maddy, I'll sleep here" She said and I stood up pissed
Who the hell does she think she is? Ordering me around as if we're still together
"I said it's fine" I said grabbing the food beside her
"That's-" I dropped the food on the table as I winced from pain looking at my hand due to how hot the bowl is
"hot." She continued, sucking her teeth as she grabbed my hand to run it in a cold water
I bit my lip like a kid while she held my hand and ran her fingers through mine caressing it gently through the water
I don't know why my body is shaking, I don't know if it's because she's holding my hand or because she's just a few inches away from me
"It's fine, I'm okay" I said to her as I pulled my hand away slowly
"Sleep in my room, it's fine" She said and I finally gave up and just stayed silent
She grabbed my bowl and walked inside her room fixing the bed and putting in some fresh sheets
I went inside her room and she didn't say anything she went out and closed the door behind her
A part of me wanted to grab her and ask her to stay with me, to lay down with me... That she doesn't need to sleep on the couch
But a part of me told me as well that it's not a good idea.
And to address the elephant in the room... Minah is her step-sister.
I don't even know how to explain to her that Bada and I used to date before her, that the reason I couldn't give her a real relationship is because of Bada, even if we both agreed that it's better that we don't get into a relationship.
After I finish up the food, I lay down on her bed... Looking at the ceiling... Thinking if she's thinking about me right now, how it's so weird that she's just right outside of this room and we're not getting close to each other given that we couldn't take our hands off of each other before.
I stood up and inspected her room, there were more books inside her room that were stacked up neatly, I ran my finger on them and there wasn't a single dust in sight
I touched her clothes and even if I didn't move them close to my nose I could smell the fresh scent of the fabric hung on the closet that didn't have a door
There were perfumes on the table and I tried to smell one of them.
This is her scent back in LA, it's a mixture of bergamot, amber wood, and a bit of woody scent on it
Smelling it sparked some memories in my brain, you know when they say that smelling someone's scent can make you remember them and I could remember everything.
I can smell her as I remember her face a few inches away from mine as we stare into each other's eyes, I can smell her as she pressed her lips on mine just to shut me up at the rooftop of our dance studio that I now manage, I can smell her as she grabbed my hand to the beach with our clothes still on, I can smell her when I told her that I wish I could bottle that moment and stay in it forever
I swallowed at the memories rushing into my brain.
I heard a soft knock on the door
"Are you asleep?" I heard Bada's soft voice behind the door
I walked to the door and sat down on the floor
"No..." I replied to her in the same gentle voice against the door
"What are you doing?" She asked I heard her sit down as well on the floor on the other side of the door
"Nothing... You?" I asked back
"Nothing... Can I come in?" She asked
I opened the door and lay down on the floor as the door swung open and she was sitting down on the floor
She laid down as well looking up at me
"God I missed you" She exhaled, moving herself right beside me and looking at the ceiling where I was looking at
Just like before, us lying down beside each other, with the view that I share with her all the time we spent together... Nothingness... Cause even in nothingness, we understand the void and silence between us.
A part of me whispered to my brain.
This person is right beside you... Is still your Bada...
As the thought entered my mind... She helped my hand.