chan whispering: im so sorry i-i hurt you. i promised not to hurt you ever and i still did..
he brushed seungmins hair out of his face while sobbing a bit more
chan whispering: i love you so much more then you'd ever know seungmin. i left for no good reason. only because i couldn't handle a fucking break up..im so sorry for leaving you.
he smiled a bit and wiped his tears before leaning down and kissing his forehead
chan whispering: ill be right back, i promise ill be back.
and at that he got up and covered seungmin with a blanket before leaving the dorm and going to minho and jisungs once there he walks in and everyone is there just like mina said they would be.
changbin: hi chan!
chan: hi bin
felix: your back already??
chan: yeah why?
minho: how'd it go?
chan: okay i guess??
jisung: why you got blood right there?
he says point at the bottom of chans shirt.
chan: dont fucking worry about it?.
mina: yall talk it out? nobodys upset with anyone?
chan: yes? i think?
jeongin: where seungmin?
chan: sleeping why?
jisung: you left him alone?
chan: yes why??
hyunjin: sooo you guys dating again?
chan: what?- no?.
chaeyoung: but you want to date him again?
chan: i- whats up with all the fucking questions??
minho: what? we're just asking?
chan: okay well stop asking
jisung: tell us what happened tho???
chan: i just got there, walked in his room, he was crying and well doing stuff so i helped him through it and yes now hes sleeping.
mina: was he yk..hurting himself?.
the room just went quiet and everyone looked at chan worriedly.
chan: yes. he uhm was.
mina: aish, i already told him to stop. he never listened to me.
chan: when?
mina: when what?
chan: when did he start doing that to himself.
mina: i mean i dont know, i recently just started seeing his scars
felix: uhm. he started maybe the first month after you left chan.
hyunjin: huh how do you know?
felix: he texted me about it one night, he said something like "hey lix, im trying not to-"
jisung: "to do anything stupid but i dont knowhow this mig-"
jeongin: "might end. please call me?.." yeah, he texted me that too.
jisung: i thought i was the only one-
minho: clearly not love
chan: okay well did u guys call him? try to stop him?!
felix: no.
jisung: no.
jeongin: i was going to. but fell asleep.
chan: wait wait your best friend tells you he might sh and you dont call him to help him through it?!
felix: well no but yes? it happened when we fought! i was mad at him!
chan: so you let him go through it alone? you should've been there for him! god damnit you all should've been there for him!!.
jisung: and so were you! but you fucking left him!
chan: oh fuck you dont turn this on me! you guys were here! you could've put the stupid ass fight behind yourself and helped him through it! through everything!
felix: says fucking you! its your fault he started doing that! you left him remember?! your the one that left thats why he started hurting himself!
hyunjin: lix dont start blaming one another.
chaeyoung: for real! chan just got back and you guys are fighting already??
chan: i left because i would've ended up like seungmin! if i didn't leave i might have been dead by now okay?! i clearly left in everyones letter that my mental health was going to shit!! and if i didnt leave i would have fucking ended myself!
minho: chan-
chan: so fuck you for blaming me felix! you guys should've been there for seungmin! not ghost him! you guys clearly noticed him going down and didnt do shit!
changbin: chan shut u-
chan: no you shut up changbin. you guys are some fucked up friends for letting seungmin go through that alone.
he says shaking his head and turning around leaving the dorm slamming the door shut
jisung: well. we just lost another friend.
minho: aish no we didnt ji shut up, ill be back
minho then walked out the dorm and saw chan down the hall sitting up against the wall, he got a bit worried and went over to him sitting next to him.
chan: why are you here?.
minho: real question is why are you?, shouldn't you go back with seungmin?
chan: hes sleeping. he needs to rest, poor boy looks like he hasnt slept in days.
minho: weeks actually.
chan: what?
minho: to be honest with you chan, i still checked up on seungmin while you were gone. regardless of everyone fighting and well the friend group falling apart i still stood by seungmin throughout some things he went through. i made sure he ate and drank water. i helped him when he first sh. since nobody came to help him i did.
chan smiled a bit and nodded while tearing up.
chan: thank you minho.
minho: now im not going to force you. but in the letter you only said you were leaving cause you couldn't keep going. you didnt clearly say where tho?.
chan looked down and sighed a bit, this caught minhos attention so he grabbed chans hand
minho: you dont have to tell me, but i would like to know where you went for four five months without a word?..
chan: aish..its hard to explain.
minho: im all ears. lay it all on me. youve helped me throughout my bad times, let me help you throughout yours.
chan: well. i guess after the party and well the break up i was lost?..i wanted to run to seungmin, hug him just tell him the truth. the truth that jennie came onto me. that i never wanted to lose him at all, that he was t-the love of my life. i mean i-i wanted to just tell him everything. but i couldn't..my mental state got bad. bad to the point where well i wanted to sh and etc. i talked to my parents and told them everything.
minho: and?
chan: and they heard me out. told me i should switch to online college instead and come home. so i did. the first month was horrible. i couldn't stop thinking about seungmin and how much i missed him. i was broken completely. and well one night while i was in my room at my parents house from my window i saw him. seungmin. he was crying hugging his dad. it broke me. so bad. i knew that i just hurt the most sweetest boy ever. and i couldn't live with that fact. so. once seungmin left his dads. i went to my bathroom. got a bath ru-running.
minho then went quiet once chan started saying those words. his heart broke.
minho: oh chan..
chan: once the bath was running..i-i uhm got in and well you know..tried to.
he sobbing a bit and pulling up his sleeves showing minho some scars to which minho just pulled his sleeves down again and pulled chan into a tight hug.
chan: my parents f-found me and sent me to a me-mental hospital which i stayed at for two m-months?..then after i got out my parents got me an apartment and h-helped me move and get back on track with my life. but the whole time. i promised myself. that i-i would get better and come back for h-him.
minho: and thats what here for now correct?.
chan nodded a bit and wiped his tears.
chan: of course. i-i love seungmin. so much. even if he doesnt love me anymore. ill always love him with my whole heart
minho: trust me buddy, he still loves you.
now get up off the floor and go to him. hes probably awake by now no?
chan nodded and got up helping minho up
chan: thank you minho. i couldn't ask for a better friend.
minho: of course. i love you
chan: love you too.
chan then hugged minho before walking more down the hall back to seungmins dorm, he went in and went to his room only to find him still sleeping. chan smiled at the view of him asleep. he knew that he hurt seungmin badly, and he couldn't do anything to take back what he did but he's back now. and he's going to make seungmin happy again. no matter how long it takes. as long as he sees him smile again, chan smiled a bit before going and sitting next to seungmin again just admiring him. chan always thought he looked like a little dog, he didn't know why but seungmin just had those puppy like details and thats what chan loved the most about him, chans thoughts then got cut off by seungmin talking to him.
seungmin: chan?. are you okay?
chan: hm?, oh yeah im fine min, are you? how are you feeling? are you hungry? thirsty?
seungmin shook his head and sat up a bit looking at chan
seungmin: so..
chan: so uhm.
seungmin: are you staying?..for good?.
chan: uhm not exactly.
seungmin: w-what?! your leaving again?! y-you cant channie! y-you promised!.
he said grabbing chans hands tightly while tearing up again, chan just smiled and wiped his tears away for him
chan: calm down min, im not disappearing again, but im doing college online and i have my own apartment.
seungmin: o-oh..so you wont be coming back to campus again?..
chan: i will!
seungmin: but you just said your doing college online?
chan: you dummy, i still have to graduate
seungmin: right..graduation is next month.
chan: you dont seem so confident about it? why? what's wrong min?
seungmin: i-i havent been going to classes, which means i probably dont have the points to graduate..
chan: you still have time seungmin. dont give up
seungmin: but its pointless. i messed up. im failing big time.
chan: ill make you a deal then.
seungmin: yes?
chan grabbed seungmins hands tightly and smiled at him.
chan: go to class, get your grades up, get your points, and graduate okay?
seungmin: and if i do that?..
chan: we will give us another try okay?, and this time we'll do it correctly.
seungmin: w-wait you want me to graduate to be able to date you again!?
chan: o-only if you uhm w-want to?..
seungmin: and if i dont graduate?..
chan: then you dont graduate, ill still love you regardless.
seungmin then rolled his eyes and pushed chan away which made chan giggle a bit
seungmin: your an idiot! dont make a deal with my feelings asshole!
chan: fine. you graduate college and uhhh we'll move in together.
seungmin: that's tempting..but since you'll love me regardless you'll let me move in with you regardless so??
chan then rolled his eyes which made seungmin giggle and smile a bit which made chan smiled a bunch
chan: YES!!
seungmin: what?!
chan: you smiled again, and giggled.
seungmin: aish! you scared me!!
chan then went serious which made seungmin kinda nervous.
chan: seungmin.
seungmin: yes chan?.
chan: do you..still love me?..
seungmin then went quiet before tearing up a bit
seungmin: of c-course i do?? what type of q-question is that?! ill always love you chan! does it n-not look like it?!..
chan: hey..no dont start crying you'll make me cry
chan opened his arms and seungmin fell into them hugging chan tightly while sobbing softly.
seungmin: i love you!..so much..i-i never want to lose you again channie..
chan: shhhh, and you wont. i promise you seungmin..
seungmin then looked up at chan before slowly leaning in placing a soft kiss on chan's lips which chan returned.
seungmin: i love you chan.
chan: i love you too seungmin.
seungmin then hugged chan tightly before smiling a bit, chan then pulled away from the hug and looked seungmin in the eyes
chan: if you graduate seungmin, we'll stay together forever and ill make sure of it.
seungmin: what do you mean?
chan: if you graduate college and get your diploma, ill marry you.
seungmin then went quiet and looked at chan shocked.
seungmin: chan...
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A/N
omg whatttttt???? cliffhanger????? 😧😧 what will seungmin say????? 🤔🤔😧😧, omg also dont hate felix and jisung for not helping seungmin out throughout his problems- its just to add drama!!!, but heres this chapter it's kinda long so yes enjoy!!! have a wonderful day or night sorry for any misspellings!
words - 2130
goodbye - 09