Fall 2023
Nolia
"All in your mind with fears that would come true. The back of my mind, the back of my mind was you... wishing that I could blind myself from view and only have eyes— and only have eyes for you." - J.Cole
"Mommy, up" Solie cries as she stretches up her arms for me to pick her up.
"Sol– I'm trying to cook us some dinner right now... can you please wait for mommy?" I plead with my impatient two year old, who clearly doesn't give a shit about anything else except what she wants. Toddlers should really practice some type of empathy. Sol scrunches up her face and then blows out a large cry that feels like it's coming from the pits of her hell. I groan as I bend down to pick her up and hoist her on my hip, turn off the stove and remove the pot of tomato soup from the burner.
Walking from the kitchen into the living room, I bounce Sol up and down softly in my arms.
"Nolia!" Kevin's loud and deep voice booms through the house as I hear his suitcases rolling down the wooden floors of our hallway coming from our bedroom... shit, I mean my bedroom. It's gonna take some time getting adjusted to say mine instead of ours.
"Yeah?" I respond with clear agitation.
He pauses a few feet from me holding onto the handles of his suitcases.
"I'm heading out."
"Okay." I kiss the top of Sol's messy curly hair that's bunched up in a loose ponytail on her head. She gave me struggles this morning to do her hair, and this messy bun was the only thing I could do for her in order for me to continue getting myself ready.
"Can I tell her bye?" Kevin asks.
I shrug, as I try to hand her over to him but he shakes his head and instead leans in to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. Rolling my eyes, I step away from him steadily holding onto my oblivious daughter.... must be nice.
"I'll be at my parents house if you need me."
"Cool." I respond bitterly.
"Nolia..." he pauses, and immediately, I already know what his ass is going to say and I refuse to hear this damn conversation again.
"Kevin– don't you start. I'm not fooling with your shit again. I'll call you later this evening so that you can tell Sol goodnight and vice versa."
Kevin sighs, and exits out of the house– our house— my house.... Our home. Shit– this is hard and you know what's even harder? Experiencing this with a two year old and having the divorce finalization expedited. I wasn't playing and wanted to drop the last name of Thompson fast as fuck. Thankfully, Kevin didn't contest to me wanting a divorce, I mean for heaven's sake the nigga cheated on me with his best-friend Sabrina. It took everything in me not to beat her ass after I found out that they were fucking on the low since he and I got married.
Now, I'm back to being a Reed again after two years. Never thought I'd be a Reed again and with a child. I place Sole on the couch to play with her toys scattered around and spreaded across the living room, while I grab the constant ringing phone and see five mixed calls from my literary agent.
"Hey Rachel" I say, answering after the first ring.
"Nolia! Your diary blog– the one that you wrote about some guy.... Shit what was his name?" she rambles.
"Cody?" I respond quietly, as I turn on the tv mounted on the nearest wall in front of the couch in order for Sol to watch a bit of Cocomelon, while I continue speaking with Rachel.
She coughs, "yes! Cody... girl– did you know that your story went fucking viral?!" she squeals.
"What?" I stutter.
"Yes, it went viral. It received over a million reads, thousands of comments and you've gained a multitude of traction from simply pouring your heart out about this guy... which might I add seems pretty dreamy."
I sigh, "Okay– I went viral for my blog posts about Cody... I wrote about eight entries. Did they all go viral?"
"Yes, especially the last one where you really laid everything out on the table."
A small shiver goes up my spine, the last one where I boldly spilled out every inch and crevice for the man that I never dated? Shit. If it went viral– does that mean... no, it wouldn't mean anything. Cody wouldn't dare read my shit. He's married from what I see on Instagram and he has a son that looks at least one or two years older than Sol. He's busy with his life as a husband and father, along with his prosperous business. I'm not even a sliver of thought in that man's mind—- apparently not how he's lived in mind for the past fucking ten years. I swear sometimes, I think that I'm delusional as hell... but aye, delusion makes the best stories right? And after this divorce I had from Kevin, I need every damn penny– because his financial strategist salary isn't going to cut the expenses evenly since he's expecting a baby with that bitch– Sabrina.
"Nolia? Are you there?" Rachel asks, pulling me out of my trance.
"Yeah– Yes. I'm here... just thinking– so wait, why the excitement over my blog posts about him going viral?"
"Because– your book sales are skyrocketing!"
My mouth gaps open as I watch Sol throw her barbie doll in the air away from her as she sprawls out on the floor. When in the hell did she get on the floor? Ugh... I'll deal with that later.
"Which books?"
"The YA books: In All For Love, Rewriting The Memories and Queen. Each book has been requested by demand at Barnes & Nobles, Amazon, Target and neighboring book stores. Your name is being passed out so much, they're even having discussions via TIK TOK about your blog posts and books. Readers are loving how authentic, relatable and creative you are. Nolia– you are becoming the newest and biggest best thing in the literary world."
"Wow... Rachel, that's amazing. I'm speechless."
"Oh– now, don't be so speechless... because we need your voice. You have an event that I scheduled you to attend. It's good for the buzz of your books. We gotta ride this wave until we can't anymore... and I intend to ride this wave all the way to the bank after we get you a movie/television deal."
"Rachel, I have Sol full-time now. It's a bit of a challenge trying to find a babysitter at the last minute. Where's the event?"
"It's at the McCormick place, and it's a writer's convention event where you will be part of a panel for the first half and then for the remaining hours, you will be signing books and meeting with readers. You're a last minute addition to the event because– it's becoming clear that you are part of the reason why so many readers are now attending, they are hoping to finally meet you."
I pause. Is my dream really beginning to come true? For years, shit– decades... I have always wanted to be a best-selling writer and meet readers who love the characters that I developed just as much as I loved writing them. Now... my dream is a fucking reality. I'm the writer— wait author that I've always envisioned myself being ever since I was a little girl when I wrote my first short story.
"Okay, what time do I need to be there?"
"It starts tomorrow at 3pm. You think Kevin would watch Sol tomorrow while you go?"
I sigh, "Nope. He's still pissed at the divorce and that I asked him to move out for my sanity. I'll have to ask my mother..."
"Okay, well... I'm sure that Claudia wouldn't mind watching her beautiful granddaughter."
"No, she wouldn't. She's crazy about that girl... as I am."
Rachel chuckles, "Alright– well... I will let you find a babysitter for Sol– because you have a very exciting day tomorrow!"
"Okay, thanks Rachel!"
"No problem... and Nolia, I'm so proud of you. You literally catapulted to literary stardom just by exposing and sharing your vulnerabilities, not a lot of women as writers have the courage to do so boldly and eloquently."
"Thank you, I really appreciate it."
"No problem, anytime! Talk soon."
"Talk soon."
I end the call and walk over to Sol, bring her into my arms and smother her small cute chubby face with a million kisses. God, I love her so much... Lord knows how bad I wanted a baby– a daughter. I dreamed of Sol for years, and was very selective of who her father would be... because I always knew that I would have a daughter... but never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would have a daughter as beautiful, witty, charming and incredibly sassy as her. It's just me and this kid— she's not all that I have in this world but man, her existence makes this life much more livable... because before her– it was getting kinda hard.
As I'm cuddling with Sol on the couch absentmindedly watching CocoMelon, my cell-phone rings. Without looking at the caller id, I answer.
"Hello"
"Heyyy– Nolia, what's the dill pickle?"
"Hey ma."
"What you and Sol doing?"
"Just watching tv– while she's playing with her toys."
Sol wiggles in my arms, and I let go from holding her and let her climb out of my lap onto the living room floor to continue playing with her toys. I reposition myself on the couch and tuck my legs under my butt.
"What's wrong?" my mother asks. Sometimes, I love and hate that she knows me so well that just by the small shift in tone of my voice, she knows when I need a safe space to just vent.
"Kevin moved out today."
"To his parent's house?"
"Yeah..."
"And?-- you wanted him to stay or something?"
I groan, "I don't know– ma. I guess that I just feel weird because if he didn't cheat on me or if I never found out, we'll still have our unit."
"Lia–" she pauses, "even if you never found out– you do know that you would still be married to a man that doesn't value you, your marriage and family, right?"
"But– I probably should've been a better wife. I had sad moments during our marriage."
"Wait– so you're saying that your trauma is reason enough for him to cheat on you with his best-friend?"
"Ma..."
"Nolia. He was fucking Sabrina before and during your marriage with him. He never intended to stop and he's not sorry that he cheated. His ass is just sorry that he got caught up because now he has a baby on the way with her."
"But– what if I never find love again."
"You won't... because love will find you."
I release a deep sigh, "you're right... Also, can you watch Sol tomorrow at three while I go to this book event for work?"
"Sure... Orlando and I don't have anything planned tomorrow– so we're open. What kind of book event do you have to attend?"
"Well... remember my blog posts about..." I paused.
"About Cody?" she squeals, "yeah... go head."
"Well..." I start,"Apparently, the posts went viral and caused my book sales to go up."
She squeals louder, "Nolia!! That's amazing, boo! I'm so proud of you."
I break into a smile as I watch Sol squeal with laughter while playing with her stuffed teddy bear. Kevin and I bought that for her when I was pregnant walking around Shedd Aquarium. We were so excited to be new parents... shit, it's funny how fast two years with someone can change so many things.
"Thanks ma, I really appreciate it."
"You've been dreaming of this moment for so long, Nolia. This is a huge win... and it's only the beginning."
"I know... I'm nervous but excited because a lot of people are going to ask about the blog post."
She laughs, "shit– do you blame them? Hell. I asked you about those blog posts. You made them extra steamy with all the feels. Shid... I don't know what kind of voodoo Cody put on you because those blog posts gave off dickmatized and you ain't even get any dick from him."
"Ma..."
She continues to laugh, "but in all seriousness– Nolia. Enjoy this good moment and all the good moments that come after this too. You deserve it all."
_____________________________________________________________________________
This event is buzzing with so many people– so many readers interested in people's written works that I'm even interested in. And speaking on the panel with my favorite romance writers has taken my absolute breath away. Hearing Kennedy Ryan, Tia Williams, Talia Hibbert and Jasmine Guillory speak about their concepts for writing romance, their inspiration and dedication to the craft left me in awe– but being apart of the panel with them and having them ask me so many questions about my novels and my viral blog posts really warmed my heart. It's almost as if I can feel the shift in the atmosphere that after this– my life will never be the same. And I'm incredibly blessed and thankful to be here... because it's been a longtime coming. I've been writing for the past eighteen years consistently studying this craft of writing stories... and it looks like all my hard work is finally, finally paying off.
I'm thankful– but I'm also incredibly thankful for this sharpie marker not running out because since I spoke on the panel an hour ago, I've been sitting here at my book display table signing books and meeting countless readers, who are truly inspiring.
"I'm so thankful that you wrote those blog posts!" a tall dark-skinned woman with long dark red locs transcended down her back, clutching my book In All For Love to her chest.
I smile, "thank you for reading them... I really appreciate you– taking the time out to read them."
She beams, as she walks away leaving the next reader to approach the table. However, before I could respond to the next reader, my phone chimes just as someone on a speaker announces that we will be concluding the event in the next thirty minutes. I can do this– it's only five o'clock. I can finish this out– despite exhaustion starting to weigh on my spirit.
"Hello" I say, while looking at the light skinned hands of the reader sliding their copy of my book Queen onto the table in front of me. Glancing at their hands, I see that it's a male with tattooed inscriptions of trust no-one displayed on the bottom of their thumbs.
My breath quickens, and my heart thumps. I know those hands. I memorized those tattoos when I first saw them displayed back in college as I walked in behind him into the West Hall dormitory after a long day of classes.
Nervously, I look up to see– the last person I ever envisioned seeing in reality. Cody.
"Hey, Nolia– you look good, girl. It's good to see you."
"Cody?" I whisper. "What are you doing here?" I questioned.
He shrugs and breaks into a short smile. Damn, his smile is still sexy as fuck.
"You tell me, Nolia... since you love writing about me in your books."
"How did you– you read my—" I stumble over my words.
He smirks, "Don't forget that I was a psychology major, Nolia. You remember right? I mean– you wrote all about it in your blog posts."
I groan, and lean in closer to him across the table, "could you keep your voice down– about you being the muse of my latest work. I'm steadily trying to get my name out there... shit."
He chuckles, "Oh, you got your name out there, alright... and our story."
"Our story?"
He leans closer, inches from my face. I can smell the peppermint on his breath.
"Yeah, ours."
"Ahhemm" an older woman behind Cody clears their throat causing us to pull away and look at them in bewilderment.
"Some of us would like to have Nolia sign our books before the book event ends. Could you finish this up?"
Cody shakes his head in disbelief and points to the woman. "Looks like you got a fan that wants your attention just as much as I do. I can't be selfish though... we can talk about this more over dinner tonight."
I scoff, as I smile at the older lady who hands me her copy of Rewriting the Memories and gives Cody a dirty look.
"Thank you for taking the time out to read my book, I really appreciate it."
She smiles, "Girl, anytime. You had me hooked on those blog posts you wrote about... Cody. Ooooh– he sounds like a man that I would love to have experienced."
Cody coughs in laughter causing me to cut my eyes at him.
"Thank you so much." I respond as I return the book back to her after signing it.
Once the lady walks away, I look up to see that my line has finally dwindled down to none. I take that as a sign to start packing up my things, and send my mother a quick text informing her that I'll be there soon for Solie.
"So... you're ready for me to take you out for dinner?" Cody asks again, after reappearing in front of my table.
I take a deep breath and unexpectedly breathe in his sweet cologne. God, this man still finds ways to captivate me. And as much as I want to enjoy this— I can't.
"No." I respond firmly, causing him to be apparently taken a bit back.
"Why?"
"Because– I have to go pick up my daughter from my moms."
He smiles, showcasing that same imperfect slightly crooked smile that I fell in love with back when we first met. "You have a daughter? What's her name and how old is she?"
"Her name is Solie and she just turned two." I beam, taking out my phone and showing Cody a picture of her struggling to eat a vanilla ice cream cone. Kevin and I took her to get ice-cream after her swimming practice a few months ago. She loved every bit of it– and I tried to love it too but it was too hard since that was clearly after Kevin and I were moving through with the divorce.
Cody nods, and takes out his phone, showing me a picture of a small handsome little boy eating a chicken wing with barely any teeth. "That's my son. Josiah... he's almost four now."
I nod, "That's cute." I grab my purse, light jacket from the nearby chair, poster and a few copies of my books into my arms. "Well– it was nice seeing you. Take care" I mumble as I struggle to walk away from Cody and out of this event, because I feel like I can't fucking breathe. How the fuck did he know about this event? And why is he in Chicago?
"Nolia! Wait up!" he yells and runs after me. I continue walking until I am outside the center and heading closer to my truck.
Seconds later, I reach my truck and drop my things onto the ground. "Why is Cody here?" I ask myself out-loud while I struggle to find my car keys located somewhere in my purse.
"For you." Cody responds, causing me to jump.
I turn around and stare at Cody. Woah... he's gotten a tad bit taller than I've last seen him– four years ago.
"You can't possibly be here for me." I protest.
He steps closer to me, "I'm here for you. Do you know how– badly I screwed up throughout those ten years of knowing you?"
I pause.
He sighs, "Ever since I laid eyes on you when I first met you during your freshman year of college– deep down in my gut, I knew that you were the one."
"Cody–I." I interject.
He puts his hand up in the air, "Please... Nolia, let me get this out. I've waited long enough."
I nod, allowing him to continue speaking.
"I didn't listen to my gut back then but I should've. It would've saved you and me from experiencing a lot of heartache. During those two years in college, I did all those things that you mentioned in your blog posts because I liked and respected you. You carried yourself a certain way, you never disrespected me– and you always felt calm and pleasant to be around. I was the fuck up... I was the one that kept screwing shit up. Yet– every single sign I got— that pointed at you, I ignored them. Remember, when we randomly saw each-other at 7 Eleven. I was with some friends getting a slushie and you were there with your mom?"
He pauses, I nod. He continues, "well... that was when I knew– because what were the odds that I would see you at 7 Eleven late at night?"
I shrug. "Coincidence?"
He steps closer, his face inches from my face.
"No. Fate. I've ignored that fate to be with you for way too long. I should've listened to my gut a long time ago– after I found you."
"Cody..." I whisper as my chest heaves up and down.
He wraps his arms around my waist, and pulls me in closer. We're now chest to chest.
"Nolia, please let me take you out on a proper date– tonight." He begs, as he rests his forehead against mine.
My knees feel as if they are buckling. The last thing I thought was that my blog post spewing out my feelings for Cody would lead to this... hell, if this was all I had to do to get this man's attention, I would've done it a long time ago... but then– if I did, I wouldn't have Sol and she's the best thing that ever happened to me.
"Okay" I answer breathlessly. "I'll let you take me out on a proper date tonight."
He smiles, unwraps his arms from around my waist, and takes a few steps back.
"Thank you."
"Let me just contact my mom really quickly, and put my things in the truck. It won't take long."
Cody nods, "I'll put your things in the truck, while you talk to your mom. No worries– this is why I'm here."
I smile, "thanks."
I return back to my purse and retrieve my car keys, unlock the truck in order for Cody to place my things in the trunk. I walk a few steps away from Cody to call my mother.
After the first ring, she answers, "You on your way?" she asks.
"See... about that." I start.
"What's wrong?" she asks.
"Nothing, ma. It's just that can you watch Sol for the rest of the evening?"
"Why?"
"Because... ma– okay don't say anything crazy because I had no clue..."
"Would you just spit it out" she interjects, impatiently.
"Cody came to my book event and wants to take me out on a date."
"Cody?! I know you fucking lying!" she exclaims.
I groan, "Ma..."
She chuckles, "I'm sorry– but damn. I didn't see this shit coming."
"Me either... but he's here– and he's..." I pause as I sneak a peek over my shoulder to see Cody leaning up against my truck, scrolling on his phone. Damn, he does the simplest shit and makes it sexy.
"He's what?"
"He's— persistent, and being open and honest. He told me how he felt a little bit."
"And?"
"Ma, it's a lot that he said in this short time."
"Nolia– tell me something..."
I sigh, "well to sum it all up, he said that he always had feelings for me back in college and that he was just apprehensive about telling me because he felt like he wasn't ready for me... which is why he didn't listen to his gut."
She sighs, "well.. When you go on the date with him tonight, and it's going to last till the morning time– I want you to enjoy yourself because you deserve it."
"Ma..."
"I'm serious, Lia. You deserve to enjoy this– and him... and I mean you better enjoy him."
"Eww.. ma, I'm not even thinking about sex, and I'm sure he's not either."
"Bull-shit. He's definitely thinking about sex, and you should too. It's been ten years since you developed feelings for this man— and clearly he has feelings for you too. You better be thinking about sex... hell, maybe this can be the sexual experience that you need."
"Ma–" I groan.
"Look, I'm sorry and I know that you told me this in confidence but you need a do-over. You've only had sex with Vincent, Zai, Mike and your ex husband Kevin– and they weren't good either. You didn't even... cli–"
"Ma!" interject, "please...stop."
She laughs, "all i'm saying is that let yourself be free with Cody. Don't hold back– not just with sex but with love too... because if it's been ten years and your love for him still hasn't passed, then baby... fate has to be intermixed somewhere... you don't get to withhold that kind of love in your soul for people like that everyday."
After that last statement, I disconnected the call with my mother, informing her that I will contact her as soon as Cody and I are done hanging out, and come scoop up Sol as soon as I can. Walking back up to Cody, he straightens up from leaning against my truck and smiles, "you ready for our date, Hawthrone?"
I groan, "please... don't call me that."
Cody laughs, and steps closer to me with his hands placed deep in the pockets of his blue-jeans.
"It's too soon for me to call you baby... right?"
I blush, and take a deep breath, "a little bit."
He nods, "okay– I'll give you a couple hours to settle back into my presence. You've been with niggas that haven't gave you a level of safety... and that's fine... I'm not even mad about it because– you know that you're home now."
I scoff, "What makes you so sure that your presence is home for me?"
He cradles my chin in his hand and begins to caress it. "You're here–aren't you?"
I chuckle, and step out of his grasp, "Boy– let's go get something to eat."
He smiles, "Okay– toss me your keys."
"Huh?"
He shrugs, "I'm not letting you drive us around for our date. I mean– yes, I took an Uber to see you at an event but I'm not about to let you drive on our first date. That's not happening... with me– you don't ever have to worry about this shit."
"Why not?" I question, as I hand him my keys.
"Because I know how to lead."
I nod. Cody then proceeds to open up my passenger side door, letting me enter my truck first, and shutting the door once I get settled in my seat. Instinctively, I reach over the middle console and unlock Cody's driver side door and push it open, wide enough for him to get in without touching the door handle.
He pauses with his mouth slightly gaped open. "You– opened my car door?"
I nod, "you opened mine."
He bites the corner of his lip, and briefly looks me up and down.
I blush, "what?"
"Nothing." He enters my truck, buckles in, locks the doors, starts it up and exits out of the parking lot.
Minutes go by, as Cody drives through the early evening downtown Chicago traffic in silence.
I lean over and turn on my truck's bluetooth speakers and immediately one of my most favorite J.Cole songs, Nobody's Perfect blasts through filling the ride's silence. In pure Nolia fashion, I loudly rap along the track with hands moving in the air along to the song's beat, causing Cody to burst out in laughter as he suddenly joins me in rapping the song.
In unison we rap, "Oh yeah, to my college girl, take the weekend off and come home soon, I graduated way too long ago to be sneakin' all in your dorm room. But that thing tight like Fort Knox, so I call you when the tour stops, But baby where your roommates? Did you make sure the door's locked?She love it when we get together, smoke a little weed but her shit together. Now that I'm on, I can pick and choose, only fuck with hoes who got shit to lose. Yeah, I heard stories about different dudes, her man on campus but it's fine by me. She say she only fucked like 4-5 niggas, so you know you gotta multiply by 3"
As Missy Elliott's outro fades and the next song on my playlist Kevin's Heart transitions to play in the car. Cody turns down the music, "Nolia... I knew that you loved J.Cole but damn– I had no idea that you loved that nigga– this much."
I laugh, "boy.. I've been rocking with J.Cole's music since I heard his second mixtape The Warm Up back in 2009."
"You were in 8th grade!"
"Nigga, I was a freshman in high-school."
"Same thing!"
I laugh and jokingly swat his arm. Cody catches my hand as I swatted him, and holds it. I tense up. He sighs, "Nolia, I'm not going to hurt you."
I nod. "I know..."
"Then why are you so tense with me?"
"Because this just feels– fast and a bit weird."
"Weird?" he starts to let go of my hand but I hold onto his hand tighter.
"Weird as in– it feels too good to be true. All your friends knew that I was feeling you in college, hell... I figured that you knew too– and that you just didn't give a fuck."
He shakes his head, "You think– if I knew your feelings for me, that I would've done all the shit that I've done?"
I shrug.
"No. I wouldn't." he answers. "Truth be told– if I knew... your feelings were the same as mine, I would have pursued you sooner and made you my wife."
I remain silent causing Cody to give my hand a firm squeeze.
"So... where are we going?" I ask in an attempt to change the subject.
"I was thinking about us going to Island Party Hut restaurant on the Chicago riverwalk. Is that okay?"
"Yeah– that's fine. You can park my truck under Lower Wacker drive near the Chicago auto tow zone. No-one is gonna mess with it there."
He nods, "that's good to know... can you lead the way?"
"Sure can."
I lead him through Lower Wacker drive near the Chicago auto tow zone area to a parking spot right in front of the Chicago river walk. Minutes later, Cody and I are walking towards Island Party Hut restaurant reminiscing on moments during our college years. A cool breeze comes from the riverwalk causing shivers to crawl up my spine.
Instinctively, Cody removes his jacket and exposes the black long sleeve shirt he was sporting, and hands me his jacket to put on. I thank him and put on his jacket, allowing it to slightly hang off my body– yet provide comfort at the same time. He smells of nothing but fresh soap, YSL cologne and his natural body odor that isn't too bad– thankfully because if Kevin didn't wear cologne, I would repel his natural body odor... shit, maybe that was a bigger sign of me and him not working out than I thought.
"Have you been at this restaurant before?"
"No, I don't really go out much."
"Not even when you were with Sol's father."
I shrug, "not like I wanted him to... he was too busy blaming me for the reason why he found more comfort being balls deep in his best-friend Sabrina throughout our marriage."
Cody's eyes get wide at my last statement. I cringe. "Sorry... reflex. I'm still a bit pissed off at my ex husband for the stupid shit he did."
Cody nods, "Understandable... I just didn't expect you to have that level of vulgarity."
"I have layers, Cody."
"That I see."
Once we reach the restaurant, a hostess leads Cody and I to an outside table that's directly underneath large table heaters. After we take our seats, skim the menu, and inform the waitress of our orders and have pleasant conversation with her.
Cody and I have small talk about our kids, and surface level parts of our lives for the past ten years. I learned that Cody has been divorced from his ex-wife for about three and a half years, and is no longer interested in his ex-wife because he feels like he made a mistake in marrying her. While– I on the other hand just had the divorce from Kevin finalized about a month ago... and that he just moved out of my house yesterday.
For the past four years after we last saw each-other at his main college buddy's wedding, Cody has been working relentlessly on his business as an owner of multiple fitness centers and specialty basketball gyms. Which explains why he's in Chicago in search of new locations on the Gold Coast. Evidently, Cody has been doing very well financially and as a father as well. It's just with relationships, he's been struggling— like me.
Once our food arrived, Cody and I took an intermission from talking to eat. It seemed that we were much hungrier than we anticipated because it felt like we inhaled our meals thirty minutes after it arrived. Cody takes a sip of his coca-cola before saying, "why did you write about me in those blog posts, Nolia?"
"Cody..." I start as I begin to shift in my seat. He reaches over our nearly empty plates of food and holds my hands, caressing the top of them with his thumbs in circular motion.
"Nolia... you wrote about me in Queen and in your blog posts. I've seen myself in all of your books but never as significant as I saw myself in your blog posts."
"Because, I wrote solely about you."
"Why?"
"Because– I had to get it all out, Cody. It was gnawing at my spirit."
"What was?"
"The feelings I had for you that laid dormant for the past decade. I had to let them out before I combusted. I didn't even write the blog posts in hopes of you reading them and gaining your attention. I wrote them for me to release how I've felt about you for the past ten years."
"So– you weren't trying to get my attention? They weren't a manipulative tactic?"
"No. I wrote them because life is short and I needed them to be released from me... besides over years, I've grown tired of holding in my love for you– when it's been clear that you weren't holding in your love for me."
"Nolia– you have no idea what I was holding in for you."
"You're right. I didn't– hell, I still don't. All I know is how I felt...when."
"When what?"
"When you got married."
"How did you feel?"
"Sick... when you got married to your wife."
"Ex wife."
"Excuse me, ex-wife. When you got married... I felt like I was gut punched because that's when I realized that I was alone in these feelings that I had for you because whatever feelings of love that you had weren't reciprocated for me."
"Yes– yes they were."
"And how was I supposed to know that Cody? You never approached me. You dated every single woman that came to you instead of me."
"We talked a bit after you transferred though via snapchat."
"Barely. We spoke a bit after you left for Spain for basketball and lightly joked about it but after that– you got in another relationship and only asked about me through my old college roommate."
"What was I supposed to do?"
"Come for me."
"I'm here now."
"Yeah, after ten years."
"Four. It's been for years, technically."
"Either way it goes, I was still hurt after I found out."
"Why?"
"Because— shit. I felt like marriage solidified– the chance of us not ever being more than what we were."
"Which was?"
"Cody.. I don't know."
Cody nods, and brings my hands to his lips and softly kisses them. He then rises from his seat, and pulls me up with him. He wraps his arms around my waist, and pulls me into him tightly. He places his thumb underneath my chin, lifts my head up to match his eye level, leans in and whispers against my lips, "let me rewrite my wrongs."
"Cody" I whisper against his lips, only for his lips to press gently against mine and his tongue slides into my mouth, deepening our kiss. He holds me tighter as I wrap my arms around his neck, in an attempt to bring him in closer, as I trace the edges of his tongue with mine.
"Excuse me" someone says, causing Cody and I to pull away from kissing. Blushing, I take a look at our waitress who's standing before us with the check in hand.
"Would you like for me to—?" she starts to ask but is interrupted by her own nervous laughter. Cody chuckles softly, and reaches into his back jean pocket to retrieve his wallet and hands the waitress his platinum American Express card.
She nods, and walks away to pay for our food.
"Thank you for dinner, and tonight's outing. I really enjoyed myself."
Cody smiles, kisses my forehead, and whispers in my ear, "can I take care of you tonight?"
I freeze. He continues to whisper after viewing the sudden shift in my body language. "I want to take care of you tonight, Nolia. When was the last time you've been oiled down after taking a hot shower, after being made love to?"
I–I– I can't even respond to that because shit. I haven't. None of the men I've dated– hell, not even my ex husband has ever offered to do that. When Kevin and I conceived Sol, the most we did was have a few minutes of foreplay, have sex with Kevin putting in a couple strokes, have an orgasm and then rolling over onto his side of the bed. I– didn't even get the chance to have an orgasm. Hell, to be honest— I've been deprived of sex explicitly. I've never squirted, became extremely wet with arousal– gave head, hell– received head. Nothing... I've had very limited sexual experiences but hearing Cody ask to take care of me tonight— lets me know that whatever he has in mind to truly please my mind, body and soul sexually– I'm ready.... Even though I may be a tad bit nervous.
________________________________________________________________________
Entering Cody's hotel room at the Peninsula Chicago was everything that I didn't expect. I knew that Cody worked hard enough to make a multitude of money but I had no idea that–that nigga was rolling in so much dough, where he's able to afford a luxury hotel room located on Michigan avenue in downtown Chicago with a foyer, living room, kitchen, two bedrooms with a king size bed and a pristine view of the downtown Chicago skyline.
I slip out of my On Cloud gym shoes, rest them and my purse near the door's entrance next to Cody's array of gym-shoes. I see that Jordans and Nike Air Jordans are still his favorites, as they are basketball shoes.
"This is a really nice– hotel room, Cody."
He nods, and heads into his bathroom, "Nolia... I don't want you to be so impressed by this shit. I didn't get this hotel room to showboat or try to impress you. Believe me– if it wasn't for this hotel being close to where I'm searching for my next facility location— I would've gone somewhere that wasn't charging me about– and if not more than five hundred dollars per night."
"Nigga– that's how much you're paying?!" I gasp.
He laughs, "unfortunately... but it is what it is."
I laugh, "paying that much money a night is what it is... I can't believe it."
"Nolia, believe me... when I say that I don't splurge like this often... it's just that everything was a bit last minute and rushed."
"What do you mean?" I ask, while leaning against the doorframe of his bathroom. He turns around and leans against the edge of his sink with his arms folded across his chest.
"Well... to be honest, ever since you dropped that blog post on your Instagram— and learned that it was about me, I've been stalking your Instagram posts and figuring out a way to approach you.. and it wasn't until last night before my flight here that I saw your speaking event post and when I learned that it was at the McCormick place, I had to see you."
"Why didn't you just slide into my direct messages?"
He shrugs, "fear of the unknown— I didn't know if you would actually respond to a direct message, and I figured that a lot of men were shooting their shots in your messages after finding out that you were single... but I was always watching you."
"And you were watching me because...."
"Because— I want you, Nolia. I— want you."
"How bad do you actually want me?"
He sits up straight from leaning on the sink, and walks over to where I'm leaning. He wraps his arms around my waist, and slides his warm hands underneath my blouse, reaches up to my bra strap, unclamps it and says, "as you know... my actions clearly speak louder than my words"
I shiver, as he begins to plant kisses down the right side of my neck, and gently suck and nip at my skin, while his tongue travels downward, causing a rupture of soft moans to escape from my mouth.
I close my eyes, and I feel Cody unbuckle my pants, and insert his hands into my pants. I release a sigh of a moan, as I feel his hands caressingly cup my ass, and move to my front, when he pushes my panties to the side and slips into two fingers in subtle rhythmic motions.
"Cody..." I moan.
"Damn, you're wet." He whispers, looking up at me with immense intensity.
I shiver under his look and constant touch.
"What do you want me to do, Nolia?" He asks.
"Whatever you want..." I moan and lean my head back against the door frame.
He chuckles, "you sure?" He asks, as his fingers strokes inside me deeper.
"Yes..."
Seconds later, Cody pulls down my pants along with my black lace thong— thank God I put those on. And lifts my legs one by one and places them over his shoulders, and holds me up by my waist. My breath quickens, as he moans while his tongue strokes my inner lips, and sucks on my clit. My moan grows louder the deeper he goes, and I put my hand into his hair, gently tugging on his soft black curls. He moans, as he pauses and looks up at me.
"Nolia '' he says hoarsely.
I nod, while opening my eyes. "Yes"
He chuckles, lifts me up in his arms, and carries me to his walk-in glass door shower.
He places me down onto my feet, and I curiously stare at him.
He sighs, "can we take a shower?"
I reach out and grab him by his shirt, pulling him into me.
"Take off your clothes" I order.
He laughs, "You want me to take off my clothes?"
"Yes"
"Why?"
"Because I want to see what I'm about to enjoy."
He nods, "as you wish."
Seconds later, his shirt, jeans, and boxers hit the tiled bathroom floor. I continue to stand watching Cody with a smirk on his face. He laughs, "I'm fully naked. It's your turn."
I shrug, as I glance down at my pants entangled with my panties dangling at my ankles, how embarrassing. I blush– only to make Cody erupt into more laughter, "I know that you're not embarrassed by that."
I shake my head, "No." I lie.
"Baby..." he steps closer to me, unbuttons my blouse, sliding it off my shoulders along with my previously unclasped bra and tosses it onto the tiled bathroom floor on top of his clothes. I wiggle out of my jeans and thong, kicking it out of the shower.
Cody then proceeds to cup my breasts in his hands, and caresses them while proceeding to kiss me. Our tongues dance together, as our hands roam each-other's bodies. I trace my fingers along the tattoos scattered among his upper chest, arms and then I find myself gently gripping his protruding hardened dick. Deepening our kiss, I begin to stroke it causing moans to escape from his mouth. He never stops kissing me though, as he rests his hands above me on the tiled shower wall. I continue to stroke his dick upward, downward and in circular motion until Cody stops kissing me, drops his head to my shoulder and whispers "baby... I'm about to cum." I pause mid stroke, "Not yet."
He turns his head to look at me with curiosity. "Why not?"
I remain silent, give him a smirk, and step away from being under him causing Cody to turn around facing me forward with his dick still hardened. Perfect. I then proceed to get down on my knees, take a hold of his dick and lick the tip as I gently stroke it in circular motion.
Cody then moans, "Shit– Nolia.... damn."
I then feel Cody's knees slightly buckle, as I transition to my tongue tracing the girth of his dick in circular motion before I take it entirely in my mouth, sucking it, while simultaneously stroking it and his balls with my free-hand. Cody's right hand suddenly finds itself in my curly hair finding the appropriate spot to gently tug, symbolically instructing me to go a bit quicker and deeper. And because this is the first time I've ever given head, I oblige because– hell, Kevin never got to experience this. Shid— none of the men I've ever slept with experienced this level of freakiness from me. I was always hesitant with them– but with Cody, I want to do everything... the freakier the better to be honest. His presence and existence immediately unlocks levels that my ex husband could never figure out to unlock.
"Baby... I'm about to cum..." seconds later, Cody releases into my mouth and to be honest, I don't know what to do– I've never gone this far with a guy and I'm not sure if I feel comfortable swallowing his seeds because... well, I never gave head before. Cody continues to gently tug at my hair, as I release Cody from my mouth, and let his slightly limp dick fall. Bitterly, I swallow his seed and resist the urge to throw up. Cody opens his eyes, and stares at me in astonishment.
"In all those years that I've dreamed of since we first met, I've never expected you to be this nasty." He jokes.
I shrug, and remain silent because I really want to rinse my mouth out with water.
Then it's almost as if Cody reads my mind, and turns on the shower. Hot water spurts through the shower head as immediately steam develops around us, and Cody reaches behind me and closes the shower door. He then wraps his arms around my waist and turns me away from the water, his back faces the water– and beats against his back. Cody reaches for my right leg, gently hoists it around his waist and does the same to the other. My back is now resting against the shower wall completely depending on him to keep me from falling. Cody then kisses me, not caring that part of his seeds are still resting on my tongue, and then inserts his full hardened self into me, bringing gasps to flow out of my mouth, mixing in with me moaning out his name in response to every stroke , thrust and caress of my breasts that he gives.
Never in my life, did I ever envision Cody and I— having sex like this, and to be honest... It feels incredibly different in comparison to the four men I've slept with– which also includes my ex husband. I shouldn't be comparing Cody to my ex husband but I can't help it. With Kevin– whenever we had sex, that's what it felt like... sex... like a chore for our bodies to sexually function... but with Cody this feels euphoric. I'm on cloud nine and sexually awakened... and loved.
I feel as if he's passionately making love with me.
"I've waited ten years to feel you throbbing as I'm stroking inside you." Cody says as he continues to slow down and deepen his strokes.
I nod, as I feel tears develop at the corner of my eyes.
"Cody..." I moan.
"Nolia– I– I–" he starts.
"You what?" I ask, while wrapping my arms around his neck, and finger the gold linked chain hanging loosely around his neck.
"I love you."
And then– I climax against Cody, as I feel his body shiver and slightly jolt from his climax as well.
Shit...