KENNEDY
Rising with the birds to paint is my happy peaceful place. I live for the moments when I get to witness the first rays of the sun and try to capture their beauty. However this morning I cannot bring myself to get out of bed. If I'd gotten drunk last night then maybe I could have used being hangover as an excuse. Actually maybe it would have been better if I'd consumed alcohol because it would have explained why I did some of the things that I did.
I turn over to lie on my stomach and bury my face in my pillow to muffle my scream. I cannot believe that I gave Isaiah a lap dance. Mortified doesn't even begin to explain how I feel as I recall that specific memory. I should not have let Jade get under my skin like she did. But when she called me a skinny white girl I lost it.
I used Isaiah to win a fight! Oh God! He must have thought I was crazy though I'm glad he went along with it. If he had said no I would have died of embarrassment but maybe that would have been better than what I am feeling right now.
Standing up for myself was the right thing to do but using Isaiah like that was uncalled for. I consider texting him an apology but I don't even know where to begin.
He was so sweet offering to leave the party with me and walk me home. Things got serious for a moment when he called me out on my bullshit. I didn't realize that he has been watching me so closely. When he asked why I always hold back, I panicked. I didn't lie when I said that I'm always afraid of saying the wrong thing when I'm hanging out with them because of cultural differences but it's not the main reason I hold back. I don't want them to know who Jane Kennedy Foster truly is. They might not like that person and I'm already having a hard enough time with all the bullies. Sure I have friends now but if they find out we're from different social classes they will start icing me out and I don't want that.
I honestly don't know what to say or do anymore so I call the one person who never lacks a solution to my problems.
"Kenny it's six am in the morning, is everything okay?" Astrid asks as soon as she picks up her voice laden with sleep.
"I'm sorry to wake you but I really need to talk to you." I reply.
"Can it wait until I've had my morning coffee?"
"No, it's an emergency."
"Okay tell me what happened. How was the party last night? Kiss any boys?" She teases.
I hear shuffling on the other side like she's sitting up in bed or making herself more comfortable. I love how she immediately forgoes sleep when she hears the desperation in my voice.
"No but I did give Isaiah a lap dance." I answer cringing at the words.
"You did what?!"
Her reaction is to be expected so I quickly explain myself. "Some girl dared me and called me a skinny white bitch so I had to do it."
"So you gave Isaiah a lap dance?"
"Yes."
"How did it feel?"
"For him or me?"
"Both but mostly him."
I think about it and realize that we didn't even get the chance to talk about it afterwards. He only asked about me and how I'm such a good dancer. "We didn't really talk about it but he seemed to enjoy it."
"That's my girl and you?"
"It felt good to put that bitch in her place." I grin recalling the look on her face when she saw that I could actually dance.
Kicking her out of the party was an added bonus.
"Let's table the fact that you didn't tell me you were being bullied first. How did the dance make you feel?" Astrid insists.
Me? How did I feel? I've always enjoyed dancing even though my mom forced me into it but last night was different. A good different.
"I liked it as well, it felt really nice. I can't remember the last time I had that much fun dancing. Moms nagging finally paid off." I express.
"Oh how I wish I was in high school again. I would have loved to see that." Astrid cheers.
"It's highschool I'm sure someone took a video. I'll send it to you." I say making a mental reminder to ask Wesley about it.
"I'll be waiting. Now let's go back to you being bullied and not telling me." She demands.
"I did tell you, just not in detail." I mumble.
"Kenny!" She scolds.
"Okay fine I should have told you but I handled it and it'll definitely stop now." I reassure her.
"Should I talk to mom and dad? I'm sure I can convince them to transfer you back to Oakland." She offers.
Her words take me by surprise. I miss Oakland and all its state of the art facilities, fancy spacious lockers that are easy to get into and people who like and respect me. It would definitely make my life easier if I transferred back there. It's only been two weeks so it's not like I can't catch up. I should say yes. But I find myself saying the complete opposite.
"I'm good."
"Are you sure?"
A week ago I would totally have taken her up on her offer but things are completely different now. "Yes I am. I know it sounds strange since I didn't want to go there in the first place but I want to stay. Pine View is growing on me."
"Are you sure you're not staying because of a certain basketball player with the dreamy eyes and soft hair?" Astrid teases.
He does have really soft hair. I've not done him justice in all the drawings I've made of him. When he allowed me to touch his hair last night, I was in heaven. I expected him to be offended by my request but he surprised me...
"You're thinking about him aren't you?" Astrid asks with a laugh.
"This has nothing to do with Isaiah." I assert pushing all thoughts of him to the back of my head.
"Oh really?"
"Okay maybe just a tiny bit of it but in this past week I've made more friends, I actually like being a tutor and I love my new job which wouldn't have been possible without Pine View." I insist.
Pine View is making me a better person. I'm already academically gifted but interacting with people who lead completely different lives and experiencing a whole new environment is helping me become a better version of myself.
"Okay then if you insist but if anyone gives you any more trouble you let me know and I'll handle it." Astrid demands.
"How?"
"That's for me to know and for you to find out."
Her voice gets scary enough to send chills down my spine. I don't want to think about what she would do. She once punched a guy for making fun of my pigtails when I was in middle school so I decide to agree for the sake of peace.
"Fine."
"Thank you but also remember to be careful Kenny. Young love is as beautiful as it is dangerous." She advices.
"Who said anything about love?"
Love? I've only known Isaiah for two weeks. Love is definitely the last thing on my mind. I've only just began to learn how to navigate Pine View. I might have a crush on him but it will stay that way.
"Just heed my words." Astrid asserts.
"Yes sensei."
"Mock me all you want but you'll remember my words if you aren't careful." She warns.
She is making a mountain out of a mole hill but she is my big sister and I look up to her so I agree. "I hope I never have to."
"I hope so too."
Now that we have talked I feel much better and ready to face my day.
"Thanks Astrid, I needed that talk."
"You're welcome. I'm always here for you but next time wait until business hours please." She demands playfully.
"Yes ma'am, go back to sleep. I love you."
"Love you too. I'll see you in a couple of days."
"I can't wait."
We hang up and I can finally breath easier now. Astrid has made me realize that I am slowly coming to like Pine View. She didn't give me a solution on the Isaiah front but I will apologize when I see him tomorrow and hope that out little dance didn't ruin the friendship that we are building.
I did like it though especially the way he was looking at me and the feeling of his hands on my body. He was shy at first being the gentleman that he is until I had to literally take his hands and put them on my body. When he grabbed my ass, dear Lord in heaven.
I feel a blush rising in my cheeks which is my cue to get up and go get some breakfast. Enough thinking about Isaiah.
I expect the kitchen to be empty until I walk in on my mother having breakfast in her robe. I didn't even know she was home. I haven't seen her or dad since the Friday night Astrid and I hang out and they accused me of going back to my old ways.
"Good morning mother." I greet politely opening the fridge to get some milk.
It's labor day weekend so most of the staff is gone otherwise I'd have loved some eggs. I really need to learn how to cook. I'm sure Glynn made my mom's food but he's not around at the moment so I have to take care of myself.
"Morning, you're up early." She comments sounding shocked.
I would normally pick a fight with her about that but I've recently learnt that the best way to live peacefully with my parents is to avoid any and all confrontation with them.
"I just wanted some breakfast, I had an early dinner last night." I reply quickly making myself a bowl of cereal.
I want to get out of this kitchen as fast as possible before words are exchanged.
"You've been getting in pretty late nowadays." Mother comments with an undertone suggesting that she's fishing for more information.
I am not about to tell her that I got a job. She will not take it well so I decide to embellish the truth.
"Miss June our guidance counselor made me sign up for the senior tutors program. I told you and dad about it last week but you were too busy trying to make me out to be a liar. Anyway I got a few more students to tutor so I end up leaving the school pretty late. There was a basketball game at school yesterday so I attended and hang out with my new classmates after. " I explain.
I am in the senior tutors program and I did get more students this week, I just leave out the part where I got an after school job. I didn't go to the game but I did hang out with my classmates after but she does not need to know it was at a party.
"That's good, it'll teach you some responsibility." She compliments with a smile.
She's just happy I'm not getting into trouble anymore.
"Sure. Anyway have a good day and I'll see you next time you're around." I excuse myself picking up my bowl.
My plan is to leave the kitchen and possibly avoid her and dad for another week but she has other ideas.
"Kennedy wait." She calls out before I can safely make it out.
So close.
"Yes?"
"I'm going to the salon later, why don't you join me?" She suggests.
"Why? My hair is perfectly fine and I already did my nails myself." I reply admiring my pink pastel nails with little daisies on then.
"I just thought it'd be good for us to have some quality mother-daughter bonding time." She says with a smile.
She thinks I can't see through her bullshit. Lucky for me I've known her for eighteen years so I know when she trying to one-up someone.
"You just want to get me there so you can trick me into getting my hair bleached again." I say.
"Of course not!" She blanches as if I've accused her of murder.
"Okay then look me in the eye and tell me you love my red hair." I demand turning to fully face her.
"I uh... You look... Your... Okay fine, but you look so much better as a blonde." She caves.
"That's your opinion. I am keeping my red curls and not letting you make me hate myself ever again for loving my natural look." I assert.
"Make you hate yourself? I'd never do that." She defends.
Laughter bubbles out of me because she's thinks she's actually telling me the truth. She looks taken aback by my laughter so I quickly compose myself.
"You bleaching my hair is telling me that I am not beautiful in my natural hair color. That's teaching me to hate myself. I don't want to fight about this with you anymore. I'm keeping my red hair and that's that. Have a good day mother. I hear Paris is nice this time of year so why don't you and dad take a second honeymoon and disappear for like a month. God knows my life is easier when you aren't around." I scoff and leave the kitchen before she can say another word to me.
I hear her yelling after me but I am already halfway up the stairs. It saddens me that I can never have a normal conversation with my parents. I am looking forward to the day I finally move out and leave them with their empire.
I have no idea how Astrid managed to maneuver through them. But she did move out immediately after highschool and never came back so I'm on the right track as well. My parents were definitely not made for parenthood. They are barely here and when they are all we do is fight and argue. College sounds more appealing than ever. I just have to decide what my major will be. Maybe I should pick something they'll completely hate as the final nail on the coffin to our relationship. Astrid's words about trying to navigate life with them peacefully be damned. Art school like Miss Sandy suggested might be my to go choice. I'll be doing something I love while managing to piss off my parents. It's a win win situation.
Mother has managed to undo the good mood my conversation with Astrid had put me in. How dare she try to undo all the self confidence I've worked so hard to build? I have no idea what she has against my red hair but I am never bleaching it again. Needing an energy boost I decide to enjoy breakfast on my balcony as I paint. I manage to finish two works I'd abandoned midway and my good mood is back on.
I'm feeling inspired so I finish a pencil drawing I'd started earlier this week of Wesley. It was supposed to be his birthday present but I didn't finish it in time. I plan to frame it and give it to him on Tuesday. And that's how I spend the rest of my morning.
After I'm done I step back to admire the finished product and its actually good. The only problem is that I don't have a frame to put it in and that gives me the perfect excuse to leave the house.
I take a shower and put on something worthy of the outdoors. As I'm leaving my room I check my phone for messages and realize that Wesley has sent me a couple of photos from last night. They all look pretty good, of us laughing and having fun before Jade ruined it all. There's also a couple of videos including one of the famous lap dance. I don't have the strength to watch it so I table that for later but I do send it to Astrid as I'd promised her I would. I thank Wesley for the photos and videos and proceed downstairs. Thankfully mom is nowhere in sight but I do run into Glynn who's exactly the man I was hoping to see.
"Glynn where are my car keys?" I ask him.
It's been a while since I drove and I miss it. Taking the bus to the art supply store won't be as fun and the day is nice out so I might as well drive.
"What do you need miss? I'll go get it for you." He offers.
"It's okay, I need some fresh air anyway plus a trip to Starbucks." I reply.
"Are you sure? It won't be any trouble getting you whatever you want." He insists.
"I know but I want to go so where are my keys." I ask a little bit more forcefully.
He sighs knowing I'm stubborn and won't take him up on his offer. "They are in the safe box in the garage. I'll bring your car out front for you."
"You don't have to, I'll be okay Glynn, thank you." I answer and head for the garage before he can say anything else.
The minute I see my baby, my white Audi R8 a huge grin breaks out on my face. I get the keys from the safe box and unlock her. She chimes to life and I do a little happy dance running my hand over the hood.
"Oh how I missed you my love? Let's go get some art supplies and Starbucks." I declare getting behind the wheel.
I know it's weird talking to my car but she's one of the most precious and beautiful things I own even though I drive her less now.
She purrs to life and the garage doors roll open letting me drive out of there. I roll down the windows and enjoy my drive through the city.
When I get to the art supply store I go a little bit crazy since this is like Disneyland for me. I buy everything I need and a little bit more filling up my trunk and backseat. Maybe I should have let Glynn come to avoid all this impulse buying but I've had a lot of fun.
Starbucks is my next stop. I reward myself for putting up with my mom and managing to get those art pieces done with a venti white chocolate mocha Frappuccino with heavy cream. It's the perfect drink.
I'm about to end the day perfectly by enjoying my drink in my car when I run into the last person I expect to see just as I'm leaving Starbucks.
"Kennedy?!"
I look up in shock at the familiar voice. Her eyes widen when she confirms it me and I'm not surprised because I do look different than the last time I saw her months ago.
"Isla." I reply seeing how close my car is yet seemingly so far away.
Isla is Oakland's student body president and is, was, my academic rival. I wasn't into school politics so I let her have the presidency but we were always butting heads academically. She's also miss popular because she's dating the captain of the schools basketball team last I checked. Things might have changed but it's not my business anymore.
I look around to confirm that no one else I know is around and I am relieved when she's the only familiar face.
"Is that really you? I almost didn't recognize you. What with the hair?" She asks looking at me like I'm the grinch.
I do look different but to me it's a good different. She still looks the same, same dark pin straight hair, olive green eyes, perfect white teeth and an air of arrogance around her.
"Trying something new." I reply wishing I was anywhere else but here.
"Really and you chose that color?" She comments nasally giving me a disapproving look.
Is today pick on Kennedy's hair day?Unfortunately for her, it wasn't her choice to make.
"Yes surprisingly enough it's my natural hair color." I say just to piss her off more.
"It is?" She screeches, the southern accent she desperately tries to hide popping out for a moment.
"Yes."
"Then why did you bleach it blonde?" She asks.
"It wasn't my choice." I reply.
She looks like she's about to ask more question but I'm already done.
"It was nice running into you Isla." I conclude hoping to run away but she sidesteps me blocking my path.
"What's the rush? Maybe we can catch up." She suggests.
"No thank you."
"Come on its been a while. I haven't seen you since... Well before summer vacation began months ago. Did you transfer to another school or something? Most people at school were speculating that you were sent to a military school or an all girls boarding school or worse prison." She cackles as if she's made the best joke.
"Close enough." I reply taking a sip of my drink.
"So what happened? I tried reaching you all summer and when you didn't show up after school resumed I assumed the worst. You didn't respond to any of my messages." She comments.
And for good reason! Most people thought we were friends but the two of us knew the real truth. I did see her messages when my mom gave me back my phone but I chose ignore them. I wasn't going back to Oakland and since I didn't want my past clashing with my present I cut off all communication. I unfollowed everyone from Oakland on social media and made my accounts private.
"I got busy with the whole transfer situation." I mutter unable to come up with a better excuse. "Seriously I've got to go. Have a good one."
With that I rush away, get into my car and drive off before she can stop me again.
That was close.
If Isla finds out where I really transferred to, I'll be the talk of Oakland for the rest of the year. I don't go there anymore but it doesn't mean I want them to talk about me when I'm not there.
Luckily for me our chances of meeting again or me running into anyone from that school are slim since I now run in different social circles.
My interaction with Isla has thrown me off balance but then I recall all my new art supplies and my good mood is back. I cannot wait to get home and finish Wesley's gift. I hope he likes it. I also bought new paint brushes, colors and blank canvasses that I'm very much looking forward to trying out.