NOTE:
I made a mistake in the last chapter lol, I wrote they were going to Tennessee which is like simply not true. I meant Pennsylvania! I don't know how I got those two mixed up bc I've been to PA a few times and I've been to TN a lot and it's not like they're anywhere near each other. I guess I just had TN on my mind! Anyway, it's been fixed. Also, the chapter title for this lowkey doesn't match the mood for this chapter but trust me that's on purpose don't you worry.
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"Okay, do you have everything you need? Blankets? Pillows? Painkillers? Clothes? Laptop? Notebooks? Pencils?"
Karlie laughed and rolled her eyes, settling herself into the seat. "Yes, Taylor. It's only a weekend, relax!"
Taylor pouted and shut the trunk, shaking the car as she did. "You waited until literally an hour before I told you I was picking up the car to pack."
"And yet... I packed," Karlie teased. She patted the driver's seat earnestly as Taylor climbed in, the wind having whipped her hair all over, messing it up despite Taylor's frantic and meticulous attempt to get it perfect before departing. "Hurry up, you're letting the cold in."
Taylor stuck the key in the ignition and turned over the engine. The car rumbled to life, and while the familiar sensation was somewhat nostalgic, Karlie acknowledged to herself that it would never be as utterly satisfying and freeing as feeling the purr of a bike between her legs. She could, however, agree on the fact that it was nice to have an enclosed vehicle to sit in in the November cold. She watched as Taylor mumbled something under her breath, vacantly adjusting the mirrors even though she had already driven the car, and clicked her seatbelt into place.
Once she'd sorted out whatever it was she was sorting out, Taylor pulled out of the parking spot and clicked the play button on the car's dashboard. A country song played, having been paused in the middle. Karlie looked to the screen to see what the song was, and she recognized Tim McGraw's name, a song called Ghost Town Train. She let out a small chuckle and leaned against the window, tapping her fingers to the beat. It was somewhat catchy, and while Karlie didn't often listen to country, she had to admit that the song had a decent hook to it.
Taylor sang along to the song in earnest, though her attention rarely strayed from the road. That was fine by Karlie; she had increasingly grown more and more nervous as time went on, and by the time they hit the open, unrestricted roads, she felt as though a bowling ball had somehow nestled its way into her stomach. There was no reason to feel nervous and she knew it, she was just having dinner with Taylor's family and spending the weekend at the farm that Taylor had talked about in passing.
Whenever Karlie remembered that Taylor literally lived on a farm, she couldn't help but find it amusing. Sure, sometimes Taylor did dress a certain way or speak a certain way, but all in all, Taylor didn't seem like much of a country girl. She fit in surprisingly well in the city, though Karlie had spotted a pair of western boots tucked underneath Taylor's bed a few times. She couldn't remember Taylor ever wearing them, though. But apart from that and the way that Taylor's songwriting had a strong country influence to it, Karlie really wouldn't have ever guessed Taylor grew up on a farm in Pennsylvania. And while it wasn't exactly a typical farm—no crops or livestock—Karlie couldn't help but wonder if they had horses. She liked horses, they were like motorcycles but if motorcycles were animals.
Too bad she couldn't ride one if there were horses. The last time she was on a horse was when she was around eleven or twelve, but she remembered how liberating it felt having such strength underneath her, seeing the world between a horse's ears. It was amazing. Karlie figured that if there were horses, she would just have to befriend one without ever getting to ride it. That would suffice. Karlie looked out the window and imagined a dark horse galloping next to the car, going much much faster than any horse should realistically be able to go. But the thought made her smile anyway.
"What are you thinking about?" Taylor asked, speaking up for the first time in half an hour other than to sing.
Karlie shook her imagination away and chuckled. "Horses."
"Horses?" Taylor asked with an amused smile. She turned to look at Karlie. "Why?"
"I don't know, I was just wondering if you had any."
"Ah, well, we do!" Taylor turned to look back at the road, dropping one hand off the steering wheel to rest it on her lap. "We have five. Two of them are mine, one of them is my brother's, and the other two are my parents'."
Karlie perked up. "Really? Why do you have two?"
"I don't know," Taylor said with a laugh. "I just asked for another one once because I thought she was really pretty and my parents were on board. Besides, we have an extra for guests now, so it worked out."
"What are their names?"
"I have a bay horse called Sparkle and a palomino called Pal." Taylor rolled her eyes as Karlie snorted. "Look, I was a kid when I named them! I clearly wasn't feeling very creative when I got Pal."
"Which one did you get first?" Karlie asked, intrigued as to which horse was so beautiful that Taylor just needed to have it.
"Pal, actually," Taylor said with a laugh. "Sparkle was this rambunctious little filly when I saw her at a sale yard. My dad was looking for some kind of new trailer for his truck, but I saw her and I wanted her. Pal is the calm one. He's a little older now, almost seventeen. I got him when I was eight or nine as a birthday present when he was just three. Then when I was thirteen, I got Sparkle. She's only ten."
Karlie tried to imagine a little Taylor with her horses and smiled. "That's cute. I can't wait to meet them!"
"Austin's horse is the prettiest, though," Taylor told her. "She's this beautiful leopard Appaloosa. Domino, because what else would you call a spotted horse?"
"I dunno," Karlie supplied, "Oreo?"
"Nah." Taylor shook her head. "Oreo would be good for a black and white Paint horse or a Pinto or something like that."
"You know a lot about horses," Karlie pointed out, genuinely impressed. She didn't know Taylor liked horses so much. And while Karlie was always amazed by them, it was only a surface-level kind of knowledge. She could probably name three different breeds and colour variations.
"I love horses," Taylor said with a grin. "Not as much as I like cats but—Oh! You get to meet Meredith!"
Ah, Meredith. Taylor's cat she always talked about. Karlie had been looking forward to meeting the allegedly aloof and people-hating Meredith. Or well, maybe just Taylor-hating since the blonde always whined about how the cat would let anyone else pick her up and snuggle but Taylor herself. "I hope she's nice to me."
"I hope she's not," Taylor teased. "I need to know that she doesn't just hate me specifically."
Karlie laughed but stayed quiet, opting instead to focus back on the road ahead of her. They'd at some point reached a more rural side road, though the freeway was still visible through the trees. According to the GPS, they only had about a half-hour left in their drive, which tracked since they'd escaped any sort of city or even a resemblance of one and had been driving alongside trees and fields for the other half of the last hour. The nerves had come back almost tenfold, and Karlie couldn't even begin to imagine how Taylor herself was feeling. She must have been nervous, too, considering she was the one who was coming out at some point over the long weekend. Karlie was just along for the ride.
The road turned bumpy as it went from gravel to dirt, and in the distance, Karlie saw what she assumed was Taylor's home. Truly, it was almost exactly what Karlie had pictured. A stretch of land, eleven acres according to Taylor, with a house in the middle, a barn, and rows and rows of young, uncut fir trees. Karlie looked to Taylor, who smiled at the sight. That set her own nerves at ease, and a smile slowly crawled its way up her face.
By the time they pulled into the property all the way, Taylor's family had come out to greet them. Two older adults who Karlie assumed were Taylor's parents, a younger boy who seemed like he was barely out of high school, and, surprisingly, a border collie who happily ran around the group. Taylor switched off the car and turned to Karlie. "Give me a second, I'll say hi and then help you down."
Karlie nodded but opened the door anyway to wave at Taylor's family as Taylor jumped out of the car. She greeted them with a loud "Hi!" and then held up a hand as she ran around the back to pull out and unfold Karlie's wheelchair. Taylor's parents came over in the meantime to greet Karlie, who suddenly felt very self-conscious.
First, was Taylor's mother. She looked at Karlie with a curious smile and held out her hand. "Well, you must be Karlie!" They shook hands, but that quickly turned into a soft hug as the woman carefully leaned in. "Taylor has told us so much about you. But—"
Taylor cut in and shooed her mother away, rolling in Karlie's wheelchair. "I forgot to tell you!" Taylor squeaked with a laugh as she helped Karlie down and into her seat. "She was in an accident."
Karlie laughed and looked at Taylor. "How did you forget to tell them that I'm literally unable to walk right now?"
"Oh dear, well, not to worry! We'll make sure everything is okay for you there." Taylor's mom smiled. "My name is Andrea, that's my husband Scott, and Taylor's brother Austin." Scott nodded at Karlie, while Austin held back the dog by the collar, preventing it from trying to rush Karlie.
"It's nice to meet you," Karlie said with a grin as Taylor struggled to get Karlie moving. "I hope I'm not imposing, but Taylor insisted I come along."
"Oh, it's no problem," Scott responded, waving his hand. "We love having people over, and we have enough room, so don't you worry about it."
Karlie nodded and looked around as the two closed the distance to the house, Scott and Andrea going back to help bring in the suitcases and backpacks. As promised, Karlie noticed three of the aforementioned horses grazing to the left of the barn. She assumed two of them were Domino and Sparkle, but she wasn't sure who the mostly black one belonged to. It was a beautiful horse, though.
"Hey, Aust, can you give me a hand here?" Taylor asked from behind her. Karlie looked forward, noticing a step up to the porch.
"Yeah, sure. Dad, can you handle Rachel?" Austin tugged at the dog's collar. Rachel, which was a wonderful name for a dog, Karlie thought, wagged her tail and stared at Karlie.
"Just let her go and tell her to run and check on the horses," Scott suggested. "She'll listen."
Austin shrugged and whistled sharply, pointing to the barn and letting the dog go. As promised, Rachel ran off to the barn, yipping happily as she did.
"I didn't know you had a dog," Karlie said with a laugh as Austin came over to help lift Karlie onto the porch. "She's cute."
"She's more of a work dog," Taylor told her. "She helps us keep the horses in check. But Austin loves her."
As they entered the house, Karlie couldn't help but stare in awe at how cozy it was inside. The ranch-style home had a warm feel to it, and not just from the temperature. The lights had a soft, almost yellow tint to them, the wooden floors were a pleasant brown and the walls matched, although a few shades darker. In the corner of the main room, the living room, was a rocking chair. An unlit fireplace promised warm winter nights, and a TV on top of the hearth told Karlie of past summers of movie marathons and maybe even football games on TV. There was an upstairs, the wall up to the second floor decorated with pictures of Taylor's family. She couldn't see them very well, but she could make out a young, blonde, and frizzy-haired Taylor in one of the images.
It really was a fantastic home, judging just by the small portion of what she could see. Karlie wondered why Taylor would ever want to leave it all behind and move to the city instead, but in a way, she guessed she understood. The big city was always Karlie's favourite place to be, and she figured Taylor was the same. She had to admit, though, that the farm had a certain charm to it. It was homey and comfortable and Karlie had spent maybe all of five minutes there.
Scott and Andrea entered the house a few moments later, bags in tow. Andrea closed the door and let out a sigh, rubbing her hands together. "Wow, it's getting pretty cold out there."
"Did it snow here too?" Taylor asked, taking the backpacks from her mother, putting one around her shoulders and hanging the other from her arm. "It snowed a couple weeks ago in New York, it was pretty crazy."
"No, not yet, but they're forecasting an early December snow," Andrea told her. "Right around your birthday, pumpkin!"
Taylor smiled. "That's pretty cool."
"How about we get you set up and then we can talk" Scott suggested with a laugh. At nobody's rebuttal, he wheeled Karlie's suitcase to a room further down the house. Taylor carefully dropped one of the backpacks on Karlie's lap and then followed Scott. "Karlie, you've got the guest room down here, and Taylor, you can just sleep in your room upstairs."
Taylor glanced at Karlie, then at Scott. "Can I just, um, stay down here with Karlie?" She stammered, adding, "Just 'cause I–I wanna be there in case she needs something in the night or anything."
Scott shrugged. "If Karlie's okay with that, then I suppose it doesn't really matter."
Karlie smiled and nodded. "That's more than okay with me." Taylor put her hand on Karlie's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze, eliciting a wider grin from Karlie. "Thanks for letting me stay, by the way."
"Oh, Taylor's friends are always welcome here," Andrea put in with a smile as she came over to give her daughter a side hug. "Speaking of, is Abigail still coming?"
"Yes, tomorrow," Taylor confirmed, "but I wanted to ask... Can she stay over? She can take my room. I just, I haven't seen her in a while and it'd be nice to have her for the weekend."
"Of course," Andrea said with a smile. "In that case, we'll go make sure your room is presentable upstairs. How about you and Karlie get set up down here? We'll bring down an inflatable mattress for you later."
Taylor nodded and pushed Karlie into the room while Scott deposited the second suitcase in. Once Scott left and shut the door, Taylor let out a sigh and slumped down on the edge of the bed. "I don't think I could handle being alone this weekend," she whispered with a smile.
"Oh, is that it?" Karlie teased, looking around the spare room. It was empty, save for a couple of scenic paintings on the wall. The bed was already made with warm brown bedsheets. Karlie loved how cozy it was.
Taylor tipped over both suitcases and began unpacking the necessities, laying them out on the nearby dresser, opting to keep the clothes in the suitcase so it wouldn't be a big deal to get them repacked again. "I mean, Abigail and I usually share my room, but now that you're here I think I'd rather stay with you. Mostly because... You know, but also it is true that I want to make sure I'm here in case you need me."
Karlie was sure that she could manage by herself, but she refrained from expressing that thought to Taylor. Instead, she just nodded and agreed. It would be nice to be with Taylor, especially since she didn't really know her family and felt somewhat out of place. Since Taylor had parked her so close to the bed, she took it upon herself to crawl up on the bed and lie down. Karlie exhaled in relief. It was nice to lie down after sitting for so long. "You have a nice house."
"Yeah, it is nice," Taylor agreed, lying down next to Karlie. "I missed it, even though I love New York. It's so quiet here, and you can really see the stars in the nighttime." Taylor spread her hand above the both of them as if revealing something. "I mean, it's amazing! Like, you can see all sorts of constellations, Karlie. You're going to love it."
They let the thought linger for a moment. From outside the room, muffled chatter could be heard. Karlie couldn't make out any of what was being said, but Andrea seemed to be talking to Austin about something. It was nice being in an environment like this, Karlie thought. It was so different from St. Louis. The air felt lighter. Comforting, even.
"Are you nervous about coming out?" Karlie asked, not really having discussed the topic much recently. Taylor kept shutting down the conversation, arguing that she didn't want to think about it too much for fear of chickening out.
Taylor tensed next to her, placing her hands on her torso and fiddling with her fingers. "I'm incredibly nervous, but I really want to do it."
Karlie reached over with her good arm and took one of Taylor's hands, bringing it between them and interlacing their fingers. "You'll be fine, baby. Until then, I promise to be the perfect roommate–and–totally–platonic–friend."
Taylor smiled and rolled over on her stomach, looking down at Karlie and pressing their lips together softly. She opened her mouth slightly, deepening the kiss, but kept it from getting heated, just appreciating the intimacy between them. Taylor pulled back and licked her lips. "Thanks, Kar. We have to be careful, though. Austin isn't exactly the type to knock," she said with a laugh.
Just as she finished that sentence, the door burst open, causing Taylor to jump and turn to the door where, of course, Austin stood, holding a gray tabby in his arms. At his feet, a lighter-coloured ragdoll stood, eyeing Karlie warily. Taylor huffed and sat up, shooting Karlie an 'I told you so' glare. "Austin! Don't you know how to knock?"
"What?" Austin argued, walking toward the bed and dropping the tabby on it. "Indy wanted to say hi, and Meredith was sitting outside the door. I assumed she wanted to come in, too."
Karlie sat up and held out her hand, urging the tabby to come and sniff her fingers. "Aw, Taylor! Who's this?"
"Indy," Taylor told her. "She's our barn cat," she said with a sigh, turning to look at Austin with a frown. "Which is why I'm wondering what she's doing on my bed."
"You're the only one she likes," Austin said with a snort, crossing his arms after shaking fur off of them. "I figured you'd want to see her and she was lurking outside."
Taylor rolled her eyes and stroked Indy's back. The cat happily leaned into the touch, shifting her attention away from Karlie to rub against Taylor. "You'd better not let Dad see her in here."
"She's old! She deserves to come inside for rubs and pets, even if it's only from you." Austin held out his arms where it was clear that he'd been scratched up by the tabby. "She doesn't even like me. I did this for you, Teffy."
"Teffy?" Karlie perked up, eyeing Taylor who blushed. "That's adorable."
"Austin shut up," Taylor growled, getting up to push her brother out of the door. He laughed and stood outside the door, but before he could say anything, Taylor shut the door in his face with a frown. She turned back to Karlie with an annoyed glint in her eyes. "I swear to God, he's so annoying."
"Aw, he's cute," Karlie teased as Meredith jumped up on the bed, sniffed Indy, and then walked up to Karlie. Karlie held out her fingers and once she was cleared, she rubbed Meredith's chin. To her surprise, Meredith started purring and laid down next to Karlie. She shot Taylor a successful smirk.
"Really? Mere?" Taylor scoffed and picked up Indy, holding her against her shoulder as she petted her with a huff. "Anyway, you better take that back about Austin. He's your age, don't go trading me in for the male Swift!"
"I wouldn't dream of it," Karlie said with a laugh. She scratched at Meredith, entirely too pleased by the way she purred and shut her eyes softly. "Aw, this sweetheart doesn't like you?"
"She acts like she hates me," Taylor said with a grin. "But secretly, I know she loves me. Isn't that right, Mere? You sleep in my bed when I'm not here."
Meredith let out a rumbly meow and turned away from Taylor entirely, leaving the blonde with her jaw dropped in an amused manner. Karlie couldn't help but smile.
A knock sounded from the door. Taylor turned around and watched as Scott opened the door and stuck his head in. "Taylor, we—Really? Who let that cat in here?" He opened the door entirely and crossed his arms, glaring at Indy, who wiggled out of Taylor's grasp and dropped to the floor.
"It wasn't me!" Taylor argued, looking behind Scott at a laughing Austin. "It was that douchebag behind you!"
"Taylor," Scott warned. "Language. And I don't care who brought her in, get her back outside. She's dirty."
"She is not dirty," Taylor crouched down to scratch the top of Indy's head. "You are not a dirty girl, are you, Indy?"
Indy meowed in response.
"How are you holding up, Karlie?" Scott asked, looking into the room at Karlie. He gave her a sort of pathetic smile, and Karlie hated it. Not him, the smile. The pity. She really really needed to get better fast.
"I'm okay, Mr. Swift," she responded, plastering a smile on her face. "Just a bit tired from the drive, I guess."
"Please, call me Scott. If you need anything, don't be afraid to ask," he offered, ducking away but only after giving Taylor a stern look.
Taylor scoffed and picked up Indy. "I'm sorry, sweet girl, but you're going back outside," she whispered to the cat, who squirmed a bit before relenting and letting herself be cradled in Taylor's arms. "I'll be back, Kar, I'm just going to drop her outside because some asshole decided to bring her in," she said, not afraid to yell out the insult aimed at her brother.
With that, she stalked out the door, leaving it open. Karlie rolled over on her good side, earning her a small meow from Meredith, who then jumped off the bed and left the room. Karlie snorted and figured Meredith only wanted affection on her own terms. Once again, Karlie was left on her own, wondering what in the world she was meant to do in the Swift household. Did they actually like her or were they being nice? Andrea seemed a bit... curious, to say the least, when they had first interacted and Scott seemed full of pity, which was horrible. Austin was the only one who seemed to treat her somewhat normally, but even he was just a nineteen-year-old boy, and as a nineteen-year-old girl, Karlie could attest to the fact that that didn't mean much.
At some point, it seemed Karlie had fallen asleep because she woke up to the sound of the door opening. Taylor returned, positively cat-free, though that made sense since Taylor had gone to leave Indy... What? At least an hour ago? Karlie wasn't sure how long it had been, she felt mostly groggy and confused, having ended up once again on her back with her mouth wide open. Karlie sat up slowly, blinking sleepily as she realized just how much she needed that nap. She hadn't really slept well the night before, and she knew Taylor hadn't either. Karlie really wasn't sure how Taylor didn't seem exhausted.
For some reason, though, Taylor didn't have much of a smile on her face as she came to wake Karlie, which was a stark difference from when they had just arrived. She came over to Karlie, brought the wheelchair towards the bed and gripped the handles. "Come on, my mom made dinner."
Dinner? So it must have been at least two hours since Taylor and Karlie first arrived. They had left for Pennsylvania at noon, at Taylor's insistence since the actual Thanksgiving dinner wasn't going to be held until Saturday night. It took about three hours to drive, and considering that Taylor usually had dinner around six or seven in the evening, she assumed that it was around that time now.
Karlie kept her eye on Taylor as she slowly situated herself in the chair. The blonde stared at the wall, her lips pressed against each other tightly, and her eyebrows slightly furrowed. Karlie kept quiet as Taylor pushed her to the dining area.
A long table split the expanse of it, connected to the kitchen via a doorless archway. Much like the rest of the house, the walls were adorned with paintings and some knick-knacks. Scott had taken up the head of the table, with Andrea on the opposite side. Austin sat on one side, and judging by the pair of plates set up across from him, Karlie and Taylor were expected to sit there. Taylor stopped the wheelchair at the entrance to the living room, helped Karlie up on her feet, and helped her hop to the living room. The Swifts watched in intrigue at the display, and by the time Taylor sat down next to Karlie, Karlie was already turning a soft shade of pink.
Thankfully, the Swifts moved on, well, swiftly.
Before long, Andrea had held out her hand, taking each of her children's hands in hers. Karlie got the hint and did the same with Taylor and Scott, though Scott, having been on her left side, took caution with the cast and simply allowed for Karlie to hold her hand near his. Andrea said a quick prayer, a generic one, blessing the food and the family—and Karlie—before ending it. Everyone murmured an Amen, which was something Karlie hadn't said in a while and frankly, she wasn't sure why she was surprised since she was literally in rural Pennsylvania and Taylor had worn crosses before.
"Well, dig in!" Andrea said with a smile.
Karlie looked down at her plate, practically salivating at the sight. It seemed that they'd gotten the hint that Karlie mostly ate a vegetarian diet, and while the rest of the Swifts had some kind of cutlet with potato salad, Karlie had a delicious-looking tofu meal instead. Of course, she'd also received a hefty serving of potato salad.
Once again, she found herself extremely glad that she'd broken her left arm and not her right as she began shoveling food into her mouth. As expected, it was delicious. Karlie smiled and swallowed her mouthful before looking at Andrea. "This is amazing!"
"I'm glad you think so," Andrea responded with her own smile. "I never cook with tofu, so when Taylor called to let me know she was bringing you along and that you tried to stay away from meat as much as possible, I got to experimenting."
"We had tofu every day," Austin said between bites, "for a week."
"Don't talk with your mouth full," Scott cut in.
Austin grinned and took another bite.
"Well, thank you so much," Karlie responded, holding back a laugh at Austin's antics. "I mean it, I-I really needed this."
Taylor smiled and subtly put her hand on Karlie's knee under the table. Karlie looked over at her with a grin before turning back to her food.
"Why aren't you with your family this weekend, honey?" Andrea asked. Although the question threatened to make Karlie frown, the gentle manner in which it was asked and the comforting way Andrea called her honey made Karlie sigh somewhat happily.
"I'm just... We aren't getting along right now," she put simply. "Plus, I'm not exactly sure how I would have gotten to Missouri all by myself." That part wasn't a lie, especially considering she absolutely couldn't have convinced her parents to pick her up even before they decided to disown her.
Taylor squeezed Karlie's knee under the table gently. Karlie wished she could put her hand on top but it would be too suspicious, so she opted to just shoot Taylor the most heart-eyed look she could.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Andrea responded with a pitying smile. Karlie tried to bite back a frown. "You're always welcome here," she repeated.
The rest of dinner went by rather calmly, with most of the conversation turning to small talk and catching up. Taylor filled her family in on her classes and the fun things Karlie and she had gotten up to. She got as far as Halloween before she paused and looked over at Karlie. It hadn't been an easy reminder, even though it was less than a month ago and she still quite literally bore the injuries of the aftermath. Taylor had stuttered her excited rant to a halt, saying simply that Halloween was fun. And it was, for the most part.
But now Karlie couldn't really focus on anything else. Not for the first time, she was wracked with guilt at the reminder of that night. Taylor hadn't even mentioned any specifics, but it all came flooding back. The anger, the jealousy, the fight, and later, the pain. If she had just been rational, just let Taylor explain, none of what happened would have happened. But leave it to Karlie to mess everything up.
Taylor seemed to notice Karlie's sudden downtrodden mood, flipping the conversation to Austin, asking him how his sophomore year at college was. Austin had decided to stay local, attending Penn State, and he mentioned something about business or accounting or something. Karlie wasn't sure, all she could focus on was the way Taylor had scooted closer to her and wrapped her fingers around Karlie's under the table.
She really needed to stop being so pathetic, especially in front of Taylor's parents. Karlie squeezed Taylor's hand and tried to tune back into the conversation.
"...and then Joe fell into the pool," Austin finished with a wave of his hands, eliciting a laugh from everyone around the table. Karlie figured she'd chuckle too, if only to try to fit in. "Anyway, so that's why I'm never having black forest cake again."
What?
"That's so ridiculous," Taylor put in, chuckling. "But I'm glad you're having fun at college."
"It really is a blast. I can see why you wanted to do it again," Austin said with a smirk.
Taylor smiled, but Karlie noticed it didn't quite reach her eyes.
"On a different subject," Austin continued, completely unaware of his sister's faked smile, "What happened to you?"
Karlie gulped as everyone turned to face her. Scott was the first to say something. "Austin..."
"What?" Austin put up his hands. "Like you're not curious? Taylor said she was in an accident, but it must have been some accident."
Karlie looked to Taylor for help. Taylor simply smiled at her, mouthing, 'Say whatever you want.'
"No, it's fine," Karlie said, kind of squeaking as she did. She opened her mouth, trying to form the words. "It was actually on Halloween, um," she glanced at Taylor again, who was in the middle of licking her lips. She really did do that a lot when she was nervous. "Taylor and I, we had a bit of a... disagreement, so I went to go cool off at my friend's place and on my way back home I, uh, got hit by a car." She tried to laugh it off, but nobody else laughed.
"Jeez," Austin muttered. "Sorry I asked."
Scott and Andrea shared a look. Karlie didn't exactly know what it meant. Taylor looked back down at her plate. She hadn't finished eating, but Karlie doubted she would finish now.
"It's fine, really. I'm okay. There's not much that can stop me," Karlie put in, trying to lighten the mood. "Not even a car."
"It's true," Taylor added, looking up with another forced smile. "I mean, you should have seen her. I swear, she was just about ready to get up and get back to usual the second we brought her home. She's a fighter."
"That's very admirable," Scott said.
Nobody said anything after that.
Taylor asked to be excused and insisted Karlie go with her. She made the excuse of showing Karlie around the property, though Karlie was sure Taylor just wanted some air.
Once outside, and Taylor hadn't been lying about the stars, Taylor let out a sharp breath. "I'm sorry about Austin, he just, he really just doesn't know how to act sometimes."
"It's okay," Karlie assured her.
Taylor pushed Karlie towards the barn. It was clear she struggled a bit with the uneven dirt road, but she insisted it was fine. Karlie, again, felt guilty. She should be just walking alongside Taylor, not forcing her to push her along. At the very least, Karlie should be on crutches, but she still had a couple of weeks to go until her arm cast was ready to be taken off.
At the doors to the barn, Taylor paused. From what Karlie could see, some of it had been left for storage, and some of it had been turned into something of a stable. Two horses stood in their stalls, calmly flicking their ears every so often. She wasn't sure whose they were, but she assumed one of them was Pal. On top of a box, lightly sleeping, was Indy. It was nice to see a familiar face, even if it was just a cat.
"You okay?" Karlie asked, noticing that Taylor hadn't done so much as move. She stood behind Karlie, so Karlie turned to get a better look at her.
And that's when she noticed Taylor had been crying. For how long, that was anyone's guess. Possibly at least a couple of minutes, considering the silence that had washed over them. "Hey, hey, baby, what's wrong?" Karlie frowned and reached out to Taylor, who stepped back and held up her hands. "Taylor?"
"I-I'm sorry," Taylor choked out. She visibly shook, her hands trembling as she brought them together in front of her, nervously pulling at the sleeves of her sweater. "I don't even know why I'm crying."
Karlie's heart broke at the sight. Taylor seemed like she was in pieces, the crying had turned to sobbing at the drop of a hat, and yet Taylor stood eerily still, the only movement being her shaking shoulders and trembling hands. "I feel like I can't breathe," Taylor struggled to get out.
"Taylor, hey," Karlie bit her cheek and used her one good hand to push at the rim of her wheelchair, turning it around with a struggle. "Hey, baby, it's okay."
"No, no," Taylor blubbered out, shaking her head. She brought her hands up into her hair and gripped tightly, shutting her eyes as if she were trying to shut the world itself out. "No, I-I can't."
"What?" Karlie tried softly, trying to get Taylor to talk. "Hey, what's wrong Tay?"
"I don't know," Taylor whispered, shaking her head. She still didn't open her eyes, still didn't remove her hands from her hair. "I just... I..." She started hyperventilating, and that's when Karlie knew what was going on.
"Taylor, you're panicking. It's okay, just try to breathe for me, okay?" Karlie swallowed nervously, unsure of what to do since she couldn't try to pull Taylor into a hug or do anything really. All she could do was offer vocal support. She considered trying to call Taylor's phone which she knew had been left in the house, but then she realized she had also left her phone behind.
"Deep breaths, okay? Breathe with me." Karlie breathed in deeply, trying to get Taylor to copy her. She breathed out. "Are you listening? Can you do that for me?"
Taylor nodded and sat on the ground then curled up into a little ball.
"Okay, again, breathe," Karlie demonstrated, relieved when she saw Taylor trying to do the same. "You're doing great."
After a few minutes of breathing, Taylor had finally calmed herself down. Immense was nowhere near strong enough to describe the relief Karlie felt when Taylor had finally taken one last shuddering breath before wiping her nose with her sleeve and palming stray tears away. She didn't want to break the silence, so she waited for Taylor to say something.
"I'm sorry," Taylor whispered, finally breaking the spell.
"For what?"
The blonde sniffed and crossed her legs under her. "For this."
"Taylor, you don't have to apologize," Karlie told her warmly. "It's not your fault."
"Okay."
"Have you... had a panic attack before?" Karlie asked.
Taylor nodded weakly. "I used to get them a lot in high school, but they mostly went away for a bit... I haven't had one in months."
"Oh."
"I usually can tell when they're coming," Taylor went on. "I try to distract myself or go for a walk, which is why I went out here b-but I could feel it coming in hard. I didn't know what to do, so I brought you along." Taylor buried her face in her hands. "Sorry."
"What did I just say?" Karlie teased, thankfully forcing a slight chuckle out of Taylor. "I'm glad you brought me, though. I would have hated for you to go through that by yourself."
"I'm just... I'm nervous," Taylor said, finally having brought her voice back to an even tone. "About coming out, about everything. And I guess I still feel guilty about Halloween. I don't know, it's all too much."
"I thought we agreed that Halloween wasn't anyone's fault." Karlie frowned, knowing she had just been blaming herself not too long ago. She pondered for a moment before climbing down onto the floor and crawling over to Taylor, who immediately sank into Karlie's grasp.
"I know, but my brain is irrational," Taylor said with a bit of a laugh as Karlie stroked her hair. "I should have just told Dianna no."
"Baby, you could have just told me the truth," Karlie pointed out. She'd told Taylor that countless times already, but Taylor seemed insistent that telling Karlie she wanted to see Dianna on Halloween would have been a bad idea. It probably would have been, but Karlie liked to think she would have been mature about it.
"I know," Taylor relented, not even trying the same old argument this time. "I know, I will next time. If there even is a next time."
"It's okay if there is a next time," Karlie promised, kissing the top of Taylor's head. "And hey, if you're feeling nervous about coming out, I'm right here. You don't have to do it if you don't want to, but just remember I'm right here."
"I don't know," Taylor admitted. "I want to... Maybe tomorrow, though..."
"Whenever you want."
Taylor went silent as Karlie murmured assurances into her ear. She wondered how many times Taylor had had to fight back a panic attack.
Taylor stirred in her hold. "Kiss me," she whispered, turning her head. "Please..."
"You don't have to tell me twice," Karlie said with a smile, leaning into Taylor.
They kissed under the stars until they were breathless. And even then, they kept going. Softly, gently, warmly. Taylor's hands toyed with the hem of Karlie's sweatshirt, while Karlie's fingers lost themselves in Taylor's hair. Karlie didn't mind the salty taste of Taylor's tears on her lips. She wanted Taylor for all she had, tears included.
They waited a while to come back to the house. Taylor wanted to make sure she no longer looked like she had been crying, and Karlie peppering kisses along Taylor's cheeks had somewhat helped with that. In the meantime, Taylor introduced Karlie to the horses—the black one, apparently, was Scott's horse Blaze (which, judging by the white stripe on the horse's snout, explained where Taylor's inability to think of a creative name for her second horse came from), and the slightly smaller paler Palomino was Andrea's horse, Caramel—and spent some quality time with Indy. Taylor was incredibly happy that Indy kept up her record of liking only Taylor as she did her utmost to completely ignore Karlie.
But Karlie was okay with that because she finally got to properly meet the black and white border collie, Rachel. And while Rachel obediently listened to Taylor's commands to be gentle with Karlie, the dog still lolled her tongue out and wagged her tail earnestly as she let Karlie pet her. Clearly, she wanted to jump up on her lap and as okay as Karlie was with that, Taylor wouldn't allow it because Rachel "wasn't a lap dog."
Eventually, though, after sharing another long kiss in the barn, which was probably both the least and most romantic place Karlie's ever kissed someone in, Taylor decided it was time to head back because even with the setback of Karlie having been in a wheelchair, they were pushing the line. After all, most of the acreage was just trees. There wasn't much to see.
But Karlie had begged Taylor to give her just a few more minutes of looking up at the stars. Unfortunately, the moon wasn't visible, but that just opened up the sky even more. Taylor pointed out the visible constellations, and while Karlie stared up at the sky with a smile, she caught Taylor staring at her several times.
Just before heading inside, which was easy now that Scott and Austin had built a quick makeshift ramp, Karlie stopped Taylor. "Let me make sure you don't have any tear marks," she murmured, pulling Taylor down in front of her.
Taylor went along with it, kneeling in front of Karlie so she was just a few inches shorter. They both breathed quietly, gazing at each other's faces but not quite making eye contact. Karlie searched, holding Taylor's face gently by the chin, using the light above to help. She noticed a faint trace down Taylor's cheek, a mark she must have missed while wiping her own face. And though it had been a while since the tears had been fresh, Karlie rubbed on it anyway with her thumb.
It was something so intimate, so delicate. Karlie felt her throat tighten as she looked back at Taylor's eyes, only to find Taylor had already been looking at hers. Under the night sky, the soft warm porch light, Taylor's eyes were a dark, ocean blue. Kind of almost gray, even. Her breath hitched as Taylor glanced down at her lips, almost nervously.
"Taylor..."
"Karlie..."
Taylor smiled, tilting her head to lean her cheek against the palm of Karlie's hand. She closed her eyes slowly. They both let the silence wash over them. And then...
"I love you."
*~~~*~~~*
A/N: This one was a lot of fun to write! If you couldn't tell, I also love horses. Like. An insane amount. To the point where I have this other like 110k word incomplete fic that I've been writing for a different fandom and it's got a LOT of horses in it like sooo many horses. So I figured I just HAD to throw some horses in here! This Thanksgiving thing is gonna be at least a two-parter, obviously. By the way, y'all Americans are weird for having Thanksgiving so late in the year like damn. What's that about?
Anyway, as always thank you for the support! I love reading comments and the occasional Twitter DMs about the chapter haha. If you couldn't tell, feedback makes me write faster. But I do have to warn you, I'm going back to college soon (in like a week) which means that I won't have as much free time to write, so updates will slow down a bit. It's just that I literally have no time to even eat or get more than 3 hours of sleep a night (if any at all) during my classes 'cause my program is INSANE. But I'll do my best to keep updating somewhat regularly! It really does help to hear people's thoughts on the story because that kind of spurs me on 'cause I wanna make people happy.
Hope you enjoyed this one!!!