I couldn't remember the last time he smiled so big.
"You mean it?" He asked, now caressing my face. I nodded, feeling my heart beat faster. He was right; there was no point in waiting, I knew how I felt about him, and he had made it more than clear how he felt about me, so all that waiting would do would delay us getting to be together the way we finally deserved to be.
"Of course I mean it." I laughed, leaning into a gentle kiss. His hand slowly moved into my hair, kissing me back harder until a quiet, giddy laughter escaped his lips.
"I just.. I want you to be sure." He said softly. "Because.. if we're doing this, then.. we're doing this for good." My heart jumped.
I knew what he meant. And I couldn't deny how much I loved the idea of it now.
"I'm sure."
"Jaime.."
"I mean it."
"I just.. I really need you to-"
"Please, Jake?"
He stopped, holding his stare on me for a moment. It felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest, now wondering if this was how he felt around me all this time. It was unbearable, but for him, it was worth it.
"Okay." He finally sighed, pulling me into a passionate kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him back harder as I felt his hands slowly start to move up my body, grabbing my waist and pulling me back under him. My heart then jumped at the feeling of him now unbuttoning my pants. I quickly stopped him.
"Jake, I-"
"I'm sorry, I.. I just.. I thought-"
"We can just have.. this. I.. I don't want you to think that.. that's why I want you. I'm.. I'm sorry I made you feel that way, and.. you're more than enough, without any of this." His face relaxed into a relieved grin.
"I love you, Jaime."
"And I love you, now come here." I giggled, pulling him into another passionate kiss.
The Next Night
"I don't remember it ever feeling like this." Jake said softly, looking around at everyone patiently waiting for him to take the stage. Everyone had come out to see him, which I was appreciative of, though I'm sure it only left him that much more nervous.
Jake was always good with a crowd, especially a crowd he didn't know. It wasn't until familiar faces filled the seats did he start to panic, no longer able to wear his manufactured facade of confidence that was done up specifically for those who had no idea how much certainty he actually lacked.
Despite it all, I was always honored he still wanted me there, front and center.
"Because you've never done it alone before." I giggled, running my fingers through his hair, brushing it into place. He stared back at me with a nervous gaze, a gentle smile spreading across his lips at the feeling on my fingers across his skin.
"Maybe this was a bad idea." He muttered. I shook my head.
"You're scared because it means something. And besides, now all of the attention can be on you, right where it belongs." He shrugged, looking away to try and hide his flustered grin.
"You love the attention and you know it." I giggled, leaning into a gentle kiss. I felt his hand move up to my face, caressing my cheek.
"I guess a little." He smirked, his cheeks burning red, still noticeable even in the shadows of the dark club.
"So, what are you gonna play?" I asked. He bit down on his lip, holding his stare on me for a moment.
"Well, I.. I might've written you something." He muttered. My heart jumped.
"You did?" He shrugged, avoiding my eyes, looking back out at the crowd.
"When did you write it?" I asked, now wondering what it could possibly be about if he had written it while I was away. The last thing I wanted to do was make the night uncomfortable, but even still, no matter what he wrote about, it was always beautiful, and would probably make me fall in love with him all over again.
He shrugged, keeping his eyes locked on the audience.
"A few months ago." He whispered.
"Is it gonna hurt?" I asked, feeling my heart beat faster. He shook his head, looking back at me with a gentle smile as he reached over for my hand.
"Not anymore. It.. it feels different now. More.. reminiscent than sad, I guess."
"Did it hurt to write?" His face dropped.
"It was the worst I've ever felt." He said softly, looking away again. I squeezed his hand tighter, turning his chin back to face me before leaning into a gentle kiss.
"You never have to feel like that again." I sighed, leaning my forehead against his. "I promise." His smile grew and he leaned back in, kissing me again.
"You promise?" He asked. I nodded.
"Yes, now go sing for us." I giggled, leaning into one more kiss before moving away, motioning towards the stage. He let out a deep sigh, peeking out as the constant murmuring quieted down into a soft whisper.
"Go be great." I mouthed to him. His eyes instantly lit up, a playful grin escaping his lips that I had missed so much.
"I love you." He mouthed back to me before finally going out, to which the entire room erupted into applause; I eagerly joined along, hanging back in the wings, watching admirably as he made his way over, grabbing his guitar and sitting down at the stool in the center of it all.
"Hey everyone!" He laughed nervously, waving out to the crowd. I'm sure they couldn't tell, which I was thankful for, for his sake, but I could hear the oh so subtle trembling in his voice that was saved for only the most special occasions.
"Thank you so much for being here, I know there are probably a lot more exciting things going on tonight, but you all decided to spend our evening with me, and I couldn't be more appreciative." He said, flashing them a toothy grin as he tuned his guitar. I couldn't help but smile; it was so easy to love him, so charismatic and charming, how couldn't anyone fall in love with him.
There were a few more cheers, to which he responded with an embarrassed smirk, finally starting to strum once he felt it was tuned just right.
"Alright, so I'm gonna play a few songs for you guys, and then you can all get back to your drinks and conversation, but for these next few minutes your ears are mine." He laughed. My smile grew, now completely entranced under his spell.
And then he begun to play, and it was like we were the only two in the room again.
I was awestruck, now picturing him at home alone, writing this while I was off in New York. Tears started filling my eyes, knowing that during those few months, there wasn't a single day where he didn't cross my mind too.
Even if our hearts didn't allow it, we had always belonged to each other.
I was instantly transported back to the night we met; I had never seen a boy that was just.. so cute. He stuck to my dreams the way he clung to my side as we ran together in the open fields from sun up to sun down, playing pretend, where I was always the prettiest of princesses and him always my strongest knight, and I knew one day we'd run away together and create a kingdom of our own.
It was taking everything in me just to stay backstage.
I didn't understand what was happening, having never felt this way before; everything all just feeling so overwhelming. Even just a few feet in front of me, he felt miles away, and all I wanted was him to just hold me. My heart was racing, my body feeling hot all the while my head spinning, but even still, I could only focus on him. And how intently everyone else was focusing on him, suddenly igniting a spark of jealousy within me.
But, it was good.
This was good.
This was what he deserved.
And I knew no matter what happened, he'd always remember me.
Or so I hoped.