a/n: tw:// slight mention of suicidal ideation & mentions of cancer & death
I really didn't want to get dressed up again, so I texted Ash to ask him about it. Cause obviously he wasn't going to tell me in person.
Fay: ashhhh
Ash: what ?
Fay: attire??
Ash: casual
Fay: where are u taking me?
Ash: not telling, you'll have to find out at 7
Fay: but ash :(
Ash: nope, not getting anything out of me
Fay: fine ur useless 😒
Ash: hey, i'll just cancel the date then !
Fay: then do it, u didn't even ask what kind of date i want tho
Ash: are we really fighting?
Fay: i mean...
Ash: uhh 😬
Fay: the hell ash
Ash: oh wait i have a great idea 💡
Fay: what is it ?
Ash: i told you I'm not telling you, you're gonna have to figure that out on your own
Fay: fine, attire?
Ash: still casual!
Fay: alright, how do you define casual?
Ash: no dresses
Fay: k
Ash: I'm picking you up at 6:20pm tonight instead.
Fay: alr
Ash: be ready by then
Fay: kk ash :)
So since Ash said the attire was casual, I still went for a dress, but then decided for a romper instead, with wedge heels. Here's the new look:
"I'm not too tall, but it's alright." I told myself, as 6:20 was getting closer and closer. I grabbed my phone and looked through my socials. Getting onto Wattpad, and looking through notifications, and realizing that some of my stories hit 2k. Posting a couple more parts to each of my 5 stories, I was flooded with votes and comments from every end.
Soon enough I heard a tap on the front door, and went up to investigate. "Fay, it's for you!"
"Coming!" I yelled, to I think Calum. The front door opened and out stepped Ash. "You look beautiful!" He exclaimed, as he was only in skinny jeans and a black button up. He held his hand out, and I took it without hesitation. "What're we doing first?" "Dinner." He said without any hesitation.
Ash drove me to dinner, and as we started driving down a dirt road, I realized that we weren't going to a restaurant. We got to our destination, and I jumped out of the car. Following Ash, while holding hands, led me to a secluded beach. I didn't know that a beach was hiding out back here. It was beautiful, I'll admit that.
Ash led me to like a picnic he made, while he was gone. It was like a canopy, filled with fairy lights hanging down from it. He really did a great job with it. I smiled and Ash took notice of this, and led me farther in. I sat down and Ash filled some glasses with sparkling wine.
"Ash, this is beautiful! How did you do it?"
"I didn't do this on my own. I had someone else help."
"Who was it? Because I know it wasn't Calum, he was there with me. But I didn't see the other ones, so...."
"It wasn't Cal, but it was Michael."
"Typical." I muttered as I threw a strawberry back.
"Don't eat the stem!" He called out, as I threw the whole strawberry in my mouth.
I ate it anyways, and after I swallowed it I told Ash, "It's fine, I do it all the time, besides they are healthy for you?"
"But like, isn't it disgusting?" He asked as I did it again.
"Not really. I've been doing it my whole life, so it doesn't phase me anymore." I told him, while searching through all the foods, and picking out some blackberries.
"Seems like you're a fruit gal."
"I guess you can say that." I told him as I ate some raspberries.
"Do you have any hobbies?"
"I'm into photography, just never got a career out of it though."
"Do you wanna be our photographer? We've been going in and out of photographers, so a full time would be best."
"You would actually do that? Aren't I still getting the job back in California for a songwriter?" I asked.
"I mean you can, but you'll be working with other people, and might have to travel?" He said, scratching the back of his head.
"That's alright, I turned down some people anyways." I sighed, as I turned to look at Ash.
"Do you do anything else besides photography, and maybe songwriting?"
"I guess I'm an artist? Like I paint. And I actually got paid for that."
"Can I see a painting of yours?" Ash pleaded.
"Sure let me find one." I scrolled through my phone, and had to look for a unique one.
I found one, here's what it looked like:
"Here!" And I showed Ash.
"Wow, you're amazing! I mean this painting is amazing, how did you do it?" He asks, excitedly.
"Skill." I told him.
*time skip*
"You ever look up at the stars, and are just like wow?" He asked, staring at the stars, while his arm was pulling me closer to him.
"Why?"
"I don't know, I'm just asking."
"Oh."
After a while, Ash asks, "Do any of these stars hold anything special to you?"
It was silent for awhile. Then I spoke.
"My best friend."
"What's the story behind it? Do you mind sharing?"
"Yeah, give me a second though."
"Of course, take your time." And he turned and kissed me on the cheek.
"Okay, I'm ready." I told Ash, turning on my side to face him.
"Go ahead." He says, as he's putting a strand of hair behind my ear.
"So, me and my best friend, who were both born on June 13, 2002. We didn't know that we would turn out to be best friends though. I was born in Hawaii, and he was born in New York. So awhile away. His name was Luke."
"He was the sweetest boy ever. His family moved to Hawaii in the winter of 2003, and they moved to the house right next to ours. My mom invited them to a family dinner, for a 'welcome to the neighborhood' dinner. It was only us two, and we played with my toys, and some of his toys that he brought as well."
"Let's skip ahead to a couple of years to, let's say, 2007. So we were 5y/o. My mom and his mom knew that we would always be friends. That's why they introduced us so early."
"We went to school together and got put in the same classes. One day, he didn't come to school, and this was probably 2nd grade at the time. His mom called my mom, and I was taken out of school for that day. Turns out Luke, got sick and was taken to the hospital. Being 8 at the time, and having no idea of anything, we went to the hospital. Turned out, that Luke had cancer."
Ash intertwined our hands together.
"About a year later in March of 2010 he was cancer free. We all threw a party in celebration."
"Let's skip a couple of years to 2013, and we were having our 11th birthday together. On that day, when the party died down, Luke took me out to the backyard of his house and he gave me a promise ring. It looked like his mom helped him make it, but it was special for us. He also gave me a kiss on the cheek that day as well."
"After that we were inseparable, like we did everything together. But all the fun ended, when in December of 2013, his cancer came back, but it was stronger this time."
"I remember being emotional, and how his mom was bawling. It's difficult for your kid to go through that. I still went to school, and brought him his homework after, if he had enough energy to do it. I brought back his homework to his teachers, whenever he completed a bit of it."
"He never complained though, and I was proud of him for that. January 2014, he had to get surgery to take out as much as the tumor they could. Luke's surgery was a success, and we were happy for him."
"He was strong, and we all admired him for that. He was showered in gifts, and toys. I got him a polar bear, and it was like huge."
"In June of 2014 he was released from the hospital, because he again, beat cancer. After we turned 12 in June of that year, we went on vacation to the UK, and we saw our favorite band, One Direction, at the time."
"And we knew that you guys were like their opening act or something, correct?"
Ash nodded.
"So yeah, we went to a couple of their concerts, and also you guys. We also had vip tickets and met them in person. Luke's favorite person was Harry, and mine was Liam. We also met you guys as well. We didn't know that 4 years later I would be dating you."
"Did you have a favorite member from our band?" Ash asked.
"Yeah, Luke's was definitely Luke, and you were my favorite member. Don't you remember, we took a picture together, along with the 1d guys."
"I do remember that. I'm sure we have a photo of that somewhere." He told me.
"So okay, back onto the story. After that lovely and awesome vacation we went back to Hawaii. And Luke went in for his routine checkups, and he found out that he cancer, again."
"This was November of 2014 by the way. We did everything for him, and this time around, he just wanted to give up. He had like 6 months left to live. Everything was going normally, he was getting chemo, got some radiation, and just like overall medicine."
"In January of 2015, he fell into a coma. We didn't know if he would wake up again. Everyday I would go in there, and talk to him. And hold his hand as well. He was my best friend. His mom was a crying mess, and I always tried to stay strong, sometimes when I was alone at my house I would cry alone in my bed, because we thought this was the last time he would ever be alive. But we were wrong. He woke up again in December of 2015. Basically 11 months in the coma."
"I remember the doctor telling us after that day, that he was in remission for hopefully the last and final time. But we were wrong, because in July of 2017 it came back."
"This time, they told us that he has about a year left before he passed away. This broke me especially, because my best friend wouldn't be with me next year."
"Oh I'm so sorry Fay." Ash said, rubbing up and down my arm.
"It was a long and grueling couple months, but he finally got better, just a little bit. In April of this year, so 2018, he passed away. He passed away exactly on April 30, 2018, at 10:37 pm."
"That was only 4 months ago. I'm so sorry." He embraced me.
"And so whenever I look up at the stars, I know he's looking down on me. Making sure I'm not doing anything stupid. And to make sure I'm living my best life, and not killing myself for a stupid reason to be up there with him."
"That must've been rough. I'm sorry, you had to go through that and the loss of a best friend. I could never imagine that."
"It would be if one of your bandmates passed away, after a long battle of cancer."
I looked into his eyes, and he looked into mine. I looked down and then sat up, breaking the silence.
"It's okay to cry." I heard Ash say, as he pulled me into his chest. Tears were flowing down my face, and I couldn't calm down. Talking about Luke made me emotional.
"Shh...calm down it's okay." He pulled me away from his chest, and held his hands on my face. Pulling me in he slowly went in and he kissed me. Slowly, at first, but got faster, once he knew that I was comfortable with it. He pulled away after a few seconds, and wiped the tears off my face.
"Are you going to be okay?"
"Yeah, I'll be alright, thanks for calming me down though, and preventing a panic attack." I said quietly.
"Not a problem, I'm supposed to take care of you." He smiled again, and kissed me on the forehead.
"I love you Fay."
"I love you too Ash."
oh lord that was a long ass chapter.
didn't u like it long?
i sure did.
a/n: hey y'all ch 14 is finally up, hope you enjoy it. make sure to follow me, vote and comment 🌴
hope y'all are having a great day/night/whatever i love y'all 😘💙
ch 15 will be up soon tho
- ash ✌️