"This are your schedule for tomorrow. You have a meeting with Highland company in Makati. That's at 8am. Then at 10am you have an appointment with Mr. Chiu. At 12pm-- Miguel are you even listening." I glared at him pero tinitigan nya lang ako. Eyeing me impassively. I drop our eye contact. Para kasing mababasa nya yung nasa isip ko if he remain staring at me like that. Miguel always finds me transparent like that.
"Alex. Kanina ka pa tahimik. May problema ba tayo?" Tayo..?
"Tahimik? I'm talking am I?"
"Alexander." Of course he'll call my fullname when he's boardering to being furious. Eager for information my Mr.Jerk-ass turn CEO.
"Alex, boyfriend mo ko." I felt my heart beat hard and stop in a fraction. He said it. Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig. Did he said that? I eyed him, wide eyed and blanched.
"Tell me what's wrong." My lips parted but I pursed it shut again. His scowl deepens. "Uulitin ko. May problema ba tayo?" Tayo.. Kaya nya sinabing tayo.. Kasi kami na pala di ko lang alam. This is his answer to me from the phonecall last night.
"Ikaw lang ata na-informed about my civil status." He didn't respond. I can't side tract this can I?
"I'll tell you then. Pero sa condo na." I said dropping my gaze on the floor.
"Then let's head back." He stood grabbing his jacket. I shot my eyes at him.
"Ang aga pa! You have a meeting in the next 15 fucking minutes!"
"I don't care." He simply said.
"Mas importante ka kesa sa meeting na yun, Alex. The hell with this damn company. You are my everything and I need to know." Fuck. What?! I flushed and push over his chest. Ang bilis nya. One moment nandun sya sa desk nya ngayon nasa harap ko na sya or di ko lang sya napansin?
"Give me time. Attend the meeting. Please." He cup my chin and eyed me.
"Get away. Baka may pumasok!" I said rather almost scream.
"You think, I care? I can take you here in my office and wouldn't give a fuck if they hear or not." I flushed more and push him back more earning an amused look from him. Pero di pa din nawawala yung titig na yun. Yung alam-kong-may-tinatago-kang titig.
I sighed.
"Attend the meeting." I hissed but I know that won't shake him one bit.
"Then you talk?"
I look down and give a small nod. I can almost feel his content smile but when he approach me and pull me for an embrace, I can clearly feel his worry.
"Isang halik lang para umattend ako." He's mocking me. Tsk.
"Boyfriend?" I arch an eyebrow at his wide eyes.
"I didn't know you had it in you." He smirks. So what if I kissed him in the office?
***
The ride home was painful. Lahat. Everything irritates me. Yung amoy ng kotse nya. Yung tunog ng mga busina sa labas. Yung mahinang tugtog sa radyo. Even this fucking seat! Pero walang mali.. Ako lang.
"Alex" I jumped. "Bakit?" When he reach out to touch me, I flinched and he stilled.
"Alexander." He calls.
"O-okay lang ako. Let's go in." I hurriedly unbuckle my seatbelt and got out of the car. It suffocates me.
"Fuck." I cursed. Elevators.
"Alexander, what the fuck is going on?!" He grab my arm and I pushed him.
"Don't touch me." Fuck.. He saw that.. I look at my own ghostly expression on the elevator mirrors. Wide eyes. Pale.
"Alex." I avoided his stare. Alam kong gulat na gulat sya. I had that effect on people.
I lean on the elevator wall for support. I think I'll fall and try to curl up into a ball and cry if I didn't. Yun at yun na lang ang nakikita ni Miguel. My fucking vulnerability.
Pasalamat ko na lang na it is Miguel. He knows when to go and when to just let me. He knows I'll freak.
When the elevator doors open, I hurriedly storm out and a warm, firm hand grips my wrist. I jumped and pushed him pero di sya nag patinag.
"Alex! Ako to!" He yelled as if I'm deaf. I stared wide eyes at him and he reach out his other hand to touch me, I tensed and he cursed.
"Shit, what the fuck is going on with you?!" He mirrors my wide eyes but his was filled not only with fear but with deep concern, anger? Yes. Anger.
"I forgot." I started and he tensed as well. "This time of the year.. I usually leave and I know you knew that." He regards my words and nod.
"You made me forgot.. but then.. This afternoon, I remembered. Bukas.. Bukas yung araw na yun Miguel. Ayokong makita mo. I need.. I need to go back to my apartment." My voice shook at my last words and he grab both my wrists and pulled me closer to him.
"No." He simply said.
"Ayoko ng nakikita mo lahat-lahat ng kahinaan ko!! Tomorrow is the fucking day I almost.. Fuck! Let me go!! Miguel!! Bitiwan mo sabi ako!!"
"No!" He said firmly and grasp my hair and pulled it back so he can crush his mouth to mine. I resisted but he held me tight and imprisoned me in his arms. When I relaxed he pulled away.
"No" he repeated. He kissed me again and this time more slowly and all his feelings transfered to me by that one kiss. Concern. Fear. Anger & Love.
How did I end up like this?
"Better?" I flushed and hid my face on his wet chest. Nasa shower kami. Naked. I can never get used to this... intimacy. Pero di naman nya ko hinahawakan in that way. He was simply.. Calming me.
I tensed and he stilled his hand on my hair. He kiss my temple and I still felt stiff. I knew he felt all that. I feel bad for him. Pero tama sya.. I need this.
He was massaging my hair? Sina-shampoo nya pala. It felt nice and I felt my tensed muscles relax. I offered my head more to him and I can almost feel his smile. I look up abit and I was right. Kinuha naman nya yung shower gel and lathered his hands. He lift them up as if asking permission so I nod. Lumapad yung ngiti nya as he first rub the lather on my shoulders regarding my tense muscles. Hindi sya nagsalita, he just washed me.
"Want me to wash this part too?" I snap my head up to glare at him and he handed me the shower gel with a knowing smirk.
"Okay na?" He asked as the warm, steaming water washed the lather off of our bodies. I nod. Pinatay nya na yung shower, grabbing a soft washcloth. Sya na rin nag punas ng katawan ko tapos yung buhok ko. I felt like a child.. but I like his gentle touch. His gestures.
"Salamat." I suddenly said.
"Bukas, dito lang tayo" hindi na ko nakipagtalo sa kanya. Alam kong di rin naman ako makakapasok.
"Okay na young master?" I sighed as he blow dry my hair. Kanina tinulungan pa nya ko sa pag damit. Grabe. Pakiramdam ko talaga bumata ako. Sumandal lang ako sa dibdib nya as he turn the dryer off. Niyakap nya ko at umayos sa kama.
"Natakot ako. Akala ko di mo ko hahayaang hawakan ka." He breathes in my hair and then nuzzles my neck.
"Sorry you had to see me so fucked up again." He tighten his arms around me and I welcomed his warmth.
"Tomorrow.." He trailed off and paused when he felt my body tensed against him once more. ".. Malalaman ko kung bakit umaalis ka kada taon sa gantong mga araw."
"I just book my self a hotel in a province or somewhere. Last year di rin naman ako nakaalis. I stayed home.. Si Shiela.. She's the one who saw it." Nanahimik sya bigla kaya tiningala ko sya.
"Can I call her?" I blanch and he narrowed his eyes at me.
"Wag.." I look down and he lift my face.
"What happened last year? I can remember you were gone the whole month." I felt my throat dried.
"A-ask her.. Pe-pero.." His expression softens. "Can you help me sleep first?" He sighed pero ngumiti sya.