❝〔 c h a p t e r n i n e t e e n 〕❞ •
Eleanor sits down on her bed, her curls put into a bun. She is dressed in the sweatshirt of Ricky which she promised to give back today together with some shorts.
She sighs as she looks down at the keyboard she had placed on her bed, her notebook and a pen next to it.
She presses some keys, She just needs to get her feelings out. And her method for that had always been writing.
The girl writes some if the notes down on the paper, and for like twenty minutes she us making up a melody.
Next, lyrics.
"We fell in love but it didn't last." She whispers, writing it down in the notebook.
She knows they didn't practically fell in love, but it sure as hell felt that way.
She just wanted it too last.
"All I want is love to last." Her pen moves over the paper.
"He pushes me away, and I won't fight for love if you won't meet me halfway."
The curly headed girl keeps writing lyrics in the notebook, then starting over when it doesn't sound right.
After putting the lyrics in the right order she places the notebook next to the keyboard and places her fingers on the keys.
I found a guy, told me I was a star
He held the door held my hand in the dark
And he's perfect on paper but he's lying to my face.
Does he think that I'm the kinda girl who needs to be saved?
And there's one more boy, he's from my past
We fell in love but it didn't last
'Cause the second I figure it out he pushes me away
And I won't fight for love if you won't meet me halfway
And I say that I'm through but this song's still for you.
All I want is love that lasts
Is all I want too much to ask?
Is it something wrong with me?
All I want is a good guy.
Are my expectations far too high?
Try my best but what can I say
All I have is myself at the end of the day
But shouldn't that be enough for me?
Ooh ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh
And I miss the days
When I was young and naive
I thought the perfect guy would come and find me.
Now happy ever after it don't come so easily.
All I want is love that lasts
Is all I want too much to ask?
Is it something wrong with me? Oh
All I want is a good guy
Are my expectations far too high?
Try my best but what can I say
All I have is myself at the end of the day
And all I want is for that to be okay.
The girl wipes a tear from her eye as she finishes.
She doesn't have long too think about all her thoughts she had just put down on paper before she hears a knock on her window.
She turns around to see her boyfriend standing there, her eyes widden slightly as she closes her notebook, not wanting him to see the songs in there before she stands up and walks towards the window.
"Ricky?" She asks as soon as the window is open.
"Hey." He mumbles, climbing trough the window. "I think we need to talk."
She nods her head. "Yeah, I think so too."
They walks towards her bed, sitting down at the edge of it. It is quiet for a while.
"I'm not quitting the musical." He announces.
She looks up a little surprised. "You're not?"
He shakes his head. "I am staying because I promised you too atleast do one musical, but also for myself. I started it and I feel like I should finish it."
She smiles softly at him. "I'n happy you're staying. I really wouldn't want to do it without you. Especially not seeing that would mean Ej would step in."
He rolls his eyes. "Okay that may have been a part of my decision aswell."
She giggles. "That doesn't surprise me one bit."
"Yeah," He grins at her. "But I'm not here to talk about the musical or my hatred for Ej Caswell. We need to talk about today, about us."
She looks down at her lap. "I know." She whispers. She knows he is right, they need to talk about it.
"I-i think we may have went into a relationship to quick." He admits. "Not because I don't like you or something, but I don't think neither of us are ready for a relationship yet. Especially from what I'm feeling from both of us."
She bites her lip, she takes a moment too calm herself down. "No I uh I get that." She nods her head. "I think we need to take things slower. It all still is new to me."
"I know." He whispers. "Maybe we should go back to being friends, for now. To work on our selfs first."
She doesn't trust her voice right now, she tries her hardest to blink the tears away in her eyes. So she just nods.
She knows it is the best, but it still hurts.
"Can you look at me, Ellie?" He asks gently.
She slowly lifts her head to him, and he instantly notices the tears in her eyes and brings the girl into his chest.
She can't keep the tears in anymore and they fall down her eyes, wetting his shirt as she clinges onto him.
He rubs his hand down her back while whispering sweet words to her in hopes to calm her down.
The truth is he wants to cry aswell, but he wants to stay strong for her.
"We'll still see each other, El." He whispers into her hair. "Just not as a couple right now." He presses a kiss onto her head, aware of the fact that the small gesture calms her down.
"I know." She mumbles into his chest. "It just.. hurts."
"I know, but we'll find out way back to each other. When we are ready for it." He reassured her.
She nods her head before slowly pulling back. "Can I kiss you?"
He nods his head. The girl grabs his face as she leans forward, and their lips touch very softly.
The kiss is slow and sweet, bith savoring it knowing it is the last time they'll kiss for a while.
They can taste saltiness from Eleanor her tears but neither care.
Slowly they pull away from each other. He leans his forehead against hers with his eyes still closed. "I'll see you at school tomorrow, Right?"
She sniffs. "Y-yeah."
Slowly his arms dissapear from her waist as he stands up and walks back to her window where he steps outside.
As soon as the boy hits the floor he allows the tears to fall, he knows it is the best for them.
It is the best for them. The boy keeps telling himself that as he skates back home.
Eleanor brings her hand to her mouth in hopes of masking her sobs, she falls down on her bed, gripping on the sweatshirt of Ricky that she is wearing.
She really does fuck up everything.
my babies🥹