Toto could feel his heart thumping loud in under his ribcage, the blood pulsing through his veins faster than a rocket ship. He could hear a very faint whistling sound as he felt like steam was shooting through his ears. His face felt hot like lava, his hands tight in a fist, with the phone in his right hand getting closer to cracking in half. He was sat staring in blank space, his mind becoming a chaotic world as he tried to process every word Lewis told him, whilst being reminded that Alessandra used him for a sort of ploy of dominance he could not understand. He thought he knew her, after all these years at the paddock, and the last few weeks. He's never felt so much betrayal, it was making him sick.
"Toto," Lewis called out on the other line for the 20th time, "Toto, are you still there?!"
Somehow, the team principal managed to register the voice of his former driver, finally getting out of his wrecked thoughts, clearing his throat, followed by a deep breathe as he tried to get his head straight.
"Yes Lewis," the Austrian replied, "I'm still here. Was there anything else you needed to tell me?"
"No, that was it," Lewis answered, a silent sigh slipping from his lips, "Good luck for the season Toto, I'll see you in the paddock."
"You too, Lewis," Toto said, "good luck on your new adventure." Toto pulled the device away from his ear, hung up, and put it on his desk. His movements were aggressive as he ran a hand through his hair, slightly tugging onto it as he pushed himself off the chair.
He started pacing round the room, his mind going through every detail of every encounter he had with Alessandra, trying to see if there were any signs of Alessandra using him. He didn't want to believe it, but his own mind had convinced him that she indeed used him and played him, his thoughts were fuelling the flaming rage. The only logic that made sense for Toto was that Alessandra had motive for sleeping with him. She wasn't really interested in him like she claimed she was, it was her way of showing him that she's not only won on track, but she actually managed to take his champion, his team's most important asset, and to top it all of, she managed to get him wrapped around her finger so easily, and she got satisfaction from that. That was her motive.
He was consumed by anger, which was getting mixed with hatred, having no control of his actions as he stormed back to his desk, grabbing his phone, seeing red as he searched for Alessandra's contact to call her.
The group at the Dolomites had returned back to the cabin after Alessandra and Andrea did a short snowboarding session and Charles, Antonio, Joris and Antoune skied, all in laughter as Antonio told Alessandra about how him and the rest of the World Endurance drivers greeted Mick on his first day training with them with a welcoming prank. Andrea went in the kitchen to prepare some proper breakfast for everyone whilst the rest went to take a warm shower. They had a couple of hours before they were heading out to start their training so they were all dressed in sweats and hoodies when they returned to the kitchen.
"So," Joris started, turning to Alessandra after handing her a cup of coffee, "only 2 hours until the news comes out, how do you feel?"
"A little bit nervous, but really excited," Alessandra admitted, a wide smile on her face as she enjoyed the warmth of the coffee as she sipped it, "I never expected that in my first year as a team principal I would sign 7 time world champion Lewis Hamilton. All of us thought he'd retire instead of being anywhere else than Mercedes!"
"It's a legendary move," Antonio joined in, "the partnership between him and Charles will be great, and imagine if the team wins the WCC this year, Lewis would have contributed to the Ferrari history!"
"The team needed it as well," Charles said, glancing up at his boss with a proud smile, "we haven't had two world Champions since Kimi and Seb, but it had been a while since they both were crowned champions. Lewis's last championship was 2020, and mine was just a few months ago, so quite recent for both of us!"
"This season's gonna be insane," Andrea said as he put the plates filled with food in front of everyone, "which is why we gotta prepare more than ever. I enjoyed experiencing a championship win, so I would like to experience it again!"
"That's the plan Drea," Alessandra chuckled, earning nods of agreement from the rest of the guys.
After they all ate their breakfast, Andrea, Antonio, Joris and Antoine were discussing which equipment they needed to bring out for today's training, whilst Alessandra and Charles looked at emails on the Monegasque's phone from Silvia, reading the points she sent about when Lewis's announcement will drop and what their social media managers needed to post to as a show of welcome to the Brit in the team.
Alessandra's phone started vibrating on the counter, averting her attention away from Charles's phone. Butterflies started fluttering in her stomach when she saw Toto's name flashing on the screen, quickly grabbing the device before Charles could see who was calling her.
"Hey, I'm going to my room," Alessandra started, getting Charles's attention as she gave him a small smile, trying to hide how giddy she suddenly felt, "I have to take this call!" The Monegasque nodded, returning the smile as she slid off the stool and quickly hurried in her room.
"Hey you," Alessandra's voice was soft as she answered, closing the door of her bedroom behind her, "how's Brackley?"
"You know, just until a few moments ago, Brackley was going good," Alessandra was taken aback at the sudden harshness in the Austrian's voice, her eyes widened in surprise, "but now, not so great."
"Oh shit," Alessandra muttered, not sure how to reply to him as she slowly walked down her room, "what happened?"
"What happened?" He shot back, the iciness in his voice sending a chill down Alessandra's spine, "you think you know someone well, you even let your walls down for them willingly. But then you discover that they aren't interested in you, just wanted to use you."
"Toto," Alessandra slowly said, suddenly getting the feeling that he is directing his words at her, "who are you talking about?"
"I never thought you were willing to use people for some sort of personal gain," he answered, Alessandra's jaw dropping as he snapped at her, not believing what she was hearing from the other line, "I was such a fucking idiot to not realise that all of this was another form of competition to you."
"What the hell are you talking about Toto?" Alessandra tolerated many things in her life, but false accusations against her, that was something she would not tolerate. And the giddy feeling, the flutters in her stomach, they have all disappeared.
"So, in a span of few months you managed to steal Lewis from my team, and then sleep with me for what? To prove some point without me realising?" With every word Toto shot at her, her body was slowly becoming accumulated with anger, a feeling she rarely felt, but recognised it, as she bit the insides of her cheeks harshly, "Never thought you'd stoop so low, Alessandra, but goddamn you stooped in hell."
"You have some nerve sputing this shit at me," she snapped, her free hand turning into a shaky fist beside her as she slowly started to see red, "where the fuck is this coming from?"
"Alessandra don't try to play dumb, it's not a good look on you," a low growl slipped from Alessandra's lips as she walked towards the balcony door, resting her hand against it as she felt like she was losing her composure, "I know you signed Lewis. He called me moments ago to tell me before the announcement dropped, out of curtsey, something you don't have."
"You better shut up right now," she roared, "I will not have you talking to me this way!"
"So what, you're actually going to deny that you managed to snatch Lewis out of Mercedes? Without even talking to me about it?" He asked, followed by a sarcastic laugh, "and now I understand why you slept with me."
"What does signing Lewis have to do with us sleeping together?" She asked, pinching the bridge of her nose as she tried to calm herself, whilst her body started boiling in anger.
"You were never interested in me, it was all some sort of game to you. A ploy, if you will," the sarcastic laughter, almost sounding lunatic, continued, from his side of the line as he spoke, "you had signed Lewis, and then you decided to sleep with me, getting satisfaction from fucking me, knowing that in a few week's time you were going to announce that you took my driver, showing me that you will always get what you want. You used me to prove a point which I didn't know, until now."
"Why the fuck would you even think that?" Alessandra was baffled at what he just said, not able to comprehend that this is how he was thinking of her, "You should know me well enough that I would never ever do that Toto, what the actual fuck?"
"That's the thing, Alessandra," he answered, his voice loud, verge of yelling, which got the Italian even more angry, "I thought I knew who you were, but all I know now is that you used me, toyed with me to show me how powerful you are, and when I once found your power and dominance attractive, it now disgusts me."
In the main area of the house, Charles had finished reading the emails on his own, glancing at the time, seeing that there wasn't much left until the team's social media manager, and the main Formula 1 page, would drop the news of the team's lineup. He was standing next to the rest of the guys, chatting with them about what time they were planning to head out, throwing the equipment on their shoulders as they prepared to load them in the car.
"Who the fuck do you think you are to accuse me of this shit?!" The boys' head snapped in the direction of Alessandra's room after they heard her shouts, then slowly looked at each other with wide eyes. They barely ever heard Alessandra yell, unless it was in the garage when something bad happened during the race, their faces expressing worry, quickly realising that whoever she was talking on the phone with just pissed her off, and badly.
"You guys head out, maybe see if you need anything else to bring with us," Charles said, "I'll go and see if Alessandra's okay." The rest of the group quickly realised that Charles wanted to handle the Ferrari boss on his own, and they nodded at him, quickly piling out of the house as Charles made his way to Alessandra's bedroom door. He put his head against the door, taking a listen to get an idea of what the conversation was even about, and who she was talking to.
"I hope you know how pathetic you sound right now," A shiver ran down Charles's spine as he heard the sharpness in Alessandra's voice, not remembering ever hearing her be this angry, making him feel frightened for the person on the other end of the line, "the fact that you think that I would get my personal life involved in my professional one, for what? To toy with you? It's actually laughable and highly fucking offending when you know I separate my personal and professional life very well."
"You know what, I thought that you owning up to using me when we slept together would maybe make this better," he said, "but honestly, I don't care anymore. I don't even want to see your face in front of me right now."
"Oh trust me, the feeling's become mutual Toto," Charles's eyes widened once more when he heard her say the Austrian's name, becoming in shock that her heated argument was with the man she had a good relationship on and off track, "the bullshit you're spilling out is absolutely disgusting, and hurtful. The fact that you actually think I slept with you out of satisfaction because you think I took something from you? Shows that you only know the story from its ass and instead of trying to clarify with me, you're accusing me with shit that's not remotely true? Now I know what kind of person you really are."
Charles was flabbergasted behind the door, jaw slammed to the ground as he found out that his boss and best friend actually slept with their team rival, and he only just found out about it now. But that shock was slowly becoming anger at the Austrian, as he gathered that he was accusing her of using him after somehow finding out that Lewis joined Ferrari, and he won't allow anyone talking to Alessandra like that.
"I don't care anymore," Alessandra was over borderline pissed and mad at the fact that he would not let her explain what actually happened and that fact she did not use him, that every moment she spent with him meant something to her in its own way, but not even in if hell freezes over would she tell him that now, "I cannot wait to watch my team crush yours this season, and snatch your precious little crown off you and your prancing horse's head."
Charles slowly opened the door, silently walking inside her room and rested his body against the door after he closed it. His heart broke when he saw Alessandra at the other side of the room looking out the balcony doors, her body shaking, her skin red in anger, the knuckles of her free hand white as she tightened her fist by her side, pacing from side to side in front of her balcony doors, almost able to see steam leaving her body which frightened the Monegasque, never having experienced such a side from his best friend.
"Fuck you, Toto," she muttered, her voice feeling like venom against Toto's ears as it hit him from his side of the line, "prepare to enjoy our ass because that is the only ass you'll get a taste off from now on. And God, I hope the taste is bitter as it burns down your throat every weekend." She didn't even let him say another word as she hung up in his face, letting out a loud growl as she forcefully threw her phone on the bed, followed by running a shaky hand through her hair.
Alessandra turned around as she took deep, shaky breathes to try and calm down the anger that was exploding in her, feeling like a volcano that was about to erupt. However, she froze froze in her spot when her eyes fell on her driver, whom she found inside her room. Her heart dropped to her stomach, her insides twisting, because from the concerned look on his face, she knew that she had heard some of the conversation. And she knew Charles, he wasn't the idiot social media tried to make him out to be, he was smart, and she knew that he had a good idea of what her biggest secret entailed.
"Charles," she sighed, taking a step towards him as she fiddled with the hem of her sleeves, "how much of the call did you hear?"
"I think enough to get some understanding," he answered, giving her a sad smile as he pushed his body off the wall, walking towards her, "Alessandra, what happened? Why were you shouting at Toto?"
"Fuck," she muttered, shaking her head, "do the others know too?"
"No," he replied, "they only heard you yelling something but you hadn't said his name yet. I told them to load the stuff in the car and run errands if they need too. Only I heard you say his name."
"Charles, I swear to god you cannot say a single word about this," she said, her voice begging as she sat down on the edge of the bed looking up at him with teary pleading eyes, "I will tell you whatever you want to know, but no one can know about this."
"Of course Ale," he said as he quickly sat at her side, wrapping a hand around her shoulders and pulled her to his side, "your secret's safe with me. But if you need me to punch him, that's the first thing I'll do when I see him in the paddock at pre-season." Alessandra let out a soulless chuckle, shaking her head slightly as she laid her head on his shoulder.
"He's not worth it," she mumbled, "your fists don't deserve that damage."
"I don't care about the damage," he replied, glancing down at her, "Ale, how did you two end up sleeping together?"
Alessandra sighed, closing her eyes as she rubbed her hands, which were covered by the long sleeves of her oversized hoodie, roughly against the sides of her face, feeling like she was in some sort of nightmare and desperately wanted to wake up from it. She knew that it wasn't any sort of dream, but as much as she hoped it was, opening her eyes and finding Charles, with the same concerned look on his face as seconds before, made her feel upset. The weight of Toto's words were on her shoulder, upset that he actually accused her of such things, but that weight was joined by the hatred, which was taking a toll on her, but she tried to keep herself calm.
"I know we always joked about the sexual tension between Toto and I, but in reality, it was always there, and it just grew stronger throughout the year," she answered, running a hand through her hair, "It got insane at the club in Abu Dhabi, but managed to somewhat control myself when we were in the bathroom."
"In the bathroom?" Charles exclaimed, eyes widened in shock, "what were you both doing in the bathroom? Why don't I remember this?!"
"We were all wasted that night that's why. Anyway, that's not the point," she quickly said, "nothing happened in Abu Dhabi, but it was in Paris that we slept together."
"Wait, the night of the Gala?" Alessandra nodded at Charles's question, the memories of their first intimate night caused heat to rise in her cheeks, "So, Pierre was right! You did sleep with someone!"
"Yeah," she nodded, "he was actually hiding in the bathroom when you and Mick showed up. I was wearing his boxers too, but my t-shirt covered them up."
"Oh, Jesus Christ. Now I understand why you wanted to stay another night, he stayed too," Charles muttered, rubbing his hand up and down Alessandra's arm in comfort as he tried to realise if he was surprised that his boss actually slept with their rival, or if he knew that it was bound to happen between them, "was that the only time you two slept together?"
"I wish I could say yes, but," Charles's eyes widened when she paused, realising what she was indicating at, and Alessandra saw the look on his face, letting out a groan, "Remember when you saw Toto buying expensive meet that day we had lunch at your mum's?"
"Yeah," Charles replied, nodding his head, "he said he was having dinner alone that night."
"Yeah, that dinner alone? He invited me over to dinner that night," the Italian said, continuing when she saw his confused face, "I had to make up some sort of excuse, I couldn't tell you I was having dinner at Toto, and then eventually spent the night there."
"Oh!" Charles exclaimed when he was hit with another realisation, "so when I called you that morning you were with uh-"
"Yes, I was with Toto," she sighed, feeling a small wave of sadness slowly wash over her as her mind reminisced that moment, "hell, I even got him a Christmas gift when we went out shopping. God, I feel so stupid!"
"You did?" Charles watched as his friend became so distraught with everything that was happening at that moment, slowly putting the pieces together and understanding why she was reacting the way she did, "what did you get him?"
"It's not important," she shrugged, gently slipping out from under Charles's arm as she stood up, "all I know is that I actually feel ridicious, and absolutely infuriated towards Toto. Honestly, it's gonna take every single ounce of me to not punch him in the fact the moment I see him at the paddock."
"What did Toto tell you to get you so mad?" Charles asked, his eyes following her every move as she started pacing up and down her room again, "I've known you for over 20 years, I've never seen you get so angry at someone."
"Lewis called Toto to tell him that he signed for Ferrari, probably out of curtesy of their long, historic partnership," Alessandra started, running a hand through her hair, "and Toto thinks that I slept with him out of satisfaction that I took his driver or something? He genuinely thinks that I was playing with him to assert some sort of power over him, showing that I can get whatever I want or something like that? It's so confusing it's driving me insane!"
"Is he actually serious?" The softness in Charles's voice was gone after hearing what their rival team principal accused her of, it became low and harsh, and it took Alessandra by surprise. But she knew that he was directing his anger at Toto, just like she was, "he's fucked in the head if he actually thinks that you, the person who is well and truly capable to separate her personal and professional lives, thinks that you'd actually mix the two for some sort of satisfaction or personal gain. And the fact that he's known you for many years and thinks that you'd use people like that is actually obsurd!"
"Which is why it is driving me crazy!" Alessandra exclaimed, shaking her head furiously, "I am sure as hell that in every moment we spent together outside of racing, be it at the clubs, the ball, Paris, his apartment, or at the cliffs, I had not given a single sign that I was using him in some way. So how the fuck did he come to the conclusion that I did, after he found out that Lewis joined us?!"
"And that fact that he thinks that we snatched Lewis from Mercedes," Charles scoffed, rolling his eyes, "when the reality of the matter is that the moment the team announced that Lewis is not staying with Mercedes, he came to us. He chose us after he made the decision to leave, not the way Toto thinks."
"What the hell do I do, Charles?" The Monegasque's heart shattered under his chest when she turned to look at him with tear stained eyes, fresh droplets falling down her cheeks, her blue eyes, filled with excitement moments ago looking dull, "Just yesterday, we were talking about finding a night where we'd be in Monaco at the same time before the season started, maybe spend some time together, which I was actually looking forward too. And now, I can't even face him without seeing everything red and having the urge to punch him. God, who have I become? I feel so pathetic."
"Oh Ale," Charles sighed as he stepped closer, wrapping his arms around her shoulder as he pulled her into his chest, "you are not pathetic. Feelings make us vulnerable, acting in ways we never thought was possible. Now, I don't know what kind of feelings were involved with Toto, but whatever they were, they were valid and he hurt you. I promise you Ale, you are not pathetic for feeling the way that you do."
"I don't know what I felt," Alessandra mumbled, her mind becoming conflicted as part of her wanted to forget the way Toto made her feel, and the other part of her was analysing every feeling she felt whenever she was around him, "but it doesn't matter anymore. Maybe this was the sign I needed to get me out of a disastrous mess if it ever came out and be solely focused on trying to win the titles again, with no distraction."
"That may be true, but I also know that even if none of this would have happened and you would still be seeing him, you'd still be solely focused on the team," he said, giving her a gentle smile, "but what Toto said was unforgiving, and we are going to show how unforgiving we are when we're beating his team every weekend. And we'll handle him together, you will not be alone in this. If he dares to say one wrong word to you he'll have half of his face looking like the new Red Bull livery."
Alessandra couldn't help the chuckle that left her lips at Charles's vivid descriptions, looking up to him with a small grin before laying her head on his chest once more. As much as she didn't want to tell anyone about her and Toto, it did feel liberating that she told Charles, knowing that now she has someone to talk to about him. She just wished it wasn't because of the heated argument she had with the Austrian, and the hate they now have for each other.
"Hey," Charles said, carressing her head which got her to look up at him once more, "if you want, you can skip the training today. Just rest and come back tomorrow, I know this has taken a toll on you mentally."
"Oh fuck no," She said as she stepped out of his embrace, Charles's eyebrow raised at her sudden change of demeanour, "I may be mad as hell, and even heartbroken at the words he said. But he is noth worth ruining my training. I want to be prepared more than ever to kick his ass this season."
"That's my girl," Charles grinned, a smirk making its way on his lips, "Let me tell the guys you're getting ready, then we'll watch the news drop and we head out."
"Sounds like a plan," she nodded, returning the smirk, "I'll see you in a little bit."
Charles left her room, closing the door behind her to let her get ready for training. Concern hovered over him like a tiny cloud, worried about his friend and the verbal abuse she just endured from their rival and the man who apparently made her feel a certain way, almost wishing that she stayed in the cabin to rest. But he knew how strong Alessandra was, and she's been through many hard things in life, he knew that she would get through this one too, and he'll be right beside her, now more than ever. He's the only one that knew her biggest secret.
As he entered the kitchen, he heard the front door opening, watching from the corner of his eye the rest of the guys walking through the main area of the cabin before joining him in the kitchen. Joris went and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge for everyone, handing the rest of the guys a bottle each, then keeping one on the kitchen island for Alessandra.
"Is Alessandra okay?" Andrea asked, "is she still coming with us?"
"Yeah she's getting ready," Charles replied, nodding his head, "it's, uh, something personal. She's okay but it's best if you don't ask her about it."
"We won't," Antonio joined in, "we're just glad she's okay."
"I'm always okay, Antonio," Alessandra chuckled as she entered the kitchen, also dressed in her mountain attire, taking a seat next to Joris, who handed her the water bottle, which she thanked him for, "so, the announcement's dropping any moment now. After it drops and our tweets go up too, we head out?"
"That's the plan Ale," Andrea nodded, "I've got a new exercise planned, which I think you might especially like!"
"Oh, you're getting me all excited now," Alessandra exclaimed, trying to focus on the winter training which was something she was always looking forward too, but in her mind, she was replaying her memories with Toto, but then those memories were becoming overshadowed by what he told her on the phone, she felt like she was going crazy, but she couldn't show that. Charles and Alessandra's phones vibrated on the marble island simultaneously, and so did the rest a few seconds later. They all looked down, glancing at the notifications coming through, then gave a satisfactory look at each other, excitement kicking in.
BREAKING: LEWIS HAMILTON JOINS SCUDERIA FERRARI FOR THE 2024 SEASON
The team principal and driver's notifications were blowing up, and from the glance they took at their screens, they got a hint of the fans' reaction, which made the two chuckle at the shock and excitement they showed. They checked their own social media posts regarding Lewis's announcement before grabbing their water bottles and jumped in Alessandra's Purosangue and Andrea's Alfa Romeo, heading to the mountains to start their training for the day.
The news had officially dropped in Brackley, and the last thing Toto wanted was to receive messages from his employees about the shocking move, asking him if he had any idea that their champion would leave the team to join their biggest rival. His phone was blowing up, and he had no energy to deal with it, so he left it locked in his office, and sat down on the edge of his sofa with a coffee in hand.
He tried to distract himself from his thoughts, and he thought that looking at the blank space in front of him would help, but his mind kept taking him back to Alessandra, creating images of her laughing about him behind his back after yelling at each other on the phone. He was trying to juggle every emotion he felt. The anger was too strong to suppress, and he loathed her for making him feel the way he hated the most. He knew now more than ever, that he couldn't let her get the last laugh during the upcoming season, and he was going to make sure that everything will be perfect to put up a hard fought battle against her and her team.
What he really hated to admit though, was that the way he heard her yell at him, sent shivers down her spine. From all the years he's known Alessandra, she always managed to keep her temper in check, even if she was arguing with someone. He remembered how during the team principals meeting back in Imola, when even though she was pissed at Christian, Otmar, and even himself, she did not raise her voice, but showed that she was right about the points she was getting across, close to creating fear within the men in the room with how sharp her voice was. He also remembered how after that meeting, he tried to point out that she should level her tamper, and she had told him that if he thought that was her high temper, he hasn't seen shit. But now he's experienced her high temper, the sharpness and snap in her voice cutting through him like a knife slicing raw meat.
And he felt ashamed how even amidst the hatred and anger he was feeling towards the Italian, he still managed to get turned on by her, so much so that he was considering, just for a moment, that he may have overreacted and maybe accused her of things she didn't actually do. But as he tried to consider that alternative, his mind reminded him of her team's breaking news, and the attraction was overcome with hate and loathness.
Toto felt like his body was going through a whirlwind, running an aggressive hand through his hair as the sudden realisation hit, that the hatred was making him feel lonely. It was not what he expected to feel, he had hoped that hating Alessandra would give him some sort of satisfaction for the pain she caused him, for the fool she made him out to be. But all he felt at the moment was lonely, as he thought about the plans him and Alessandra made when they were together, plans which would no longer be able to be fulfilled now that whatever they had between each other had burned to ashes.
The Austrian felt pathetic as he got upset over no longer having to look forward to seeing her before the chaos of the season started, spending a night together as they figured out how they could manage the sneaking around in other parts of the world. He felt a sort of excitement he hasn't felt in a long time, she made him feel a certain way no one else has ever done before, but now it all turned into shit, and every time she comes to his mind, anger fuels him, and there's nothing he can do about it.
All he can do is show her that she's about to have the hardest season of her entire career.
ººº
Hours later, the group returned back to the cabin half dead from the endless exercises Andrea prepared for them, but as much as they were tired, Alessandra was fuelled by determination and the hatred, as the man who hurt her hours ago kept constantly appearing in her mind, and every thought of him was sending her into an internal fit of rage. She took the rage she had in her and used it in her training, letting it become the energy and motivation she needed, pushing her through every brutal exercise Andrea threw at them.
She took a shower and changed into a pair of matching knitted sweater and pants, joining the rest of the group in the living room as Andrea prepared dinner for them once more, even after Alessandra tried offering to cook for everyone since he was mostly cooking since he got to the mountains. But the trainer pushed her out of the kitchen, and all she could do was enjoy the food.
"Ale," Charles started as the team principal plopped on the couch next to him, glancing at him with a soft smile, "you need to check the group chat, the guys are going mental over the news." Alessandra chuckled, nodding her head as she looked through her notifications. She silently sighed, secretly expecting a text from Toto, mentally slapping herself for still wishing to talk to the man who insulted her as she opened the group chat.
Les Idiotes
Massimiliano ciacciarrone
now
i had a feeling that it would be lewis
but seeing the actual news
I'm shocked????
I was so sure he'd retire after not announcing anything
El smooth matador
So did i?????
like i had slowly given up on the idea that Lewis would replace me
since nothing was announced till the end of the year
Ale how the hell did you even manage to sign him?????
Piccolo schumi
thank god I don't need to keep it a secret anymore
it was getting harder to not say anything
it's some of the most exciting news
Massimiliano ciacciarrone
understandable 100%
ale ur capable of anything but i'm in awe
no one's managed to get lewis out of Mercedes
whatever you pulled? give me some tips because holy shit
La cavallina
would you believe me if I told you that it was lewis who approached me?
not the other way round?
El smooth matador
fully believable because you're you Ale!
anyone would wanna work with you
and especially now after how well you worked last season
trust me, if I could've i took you to rb with
Cazzo di cane carletto
twitter's actually going batshit crazy over the move
god i love our impact ale <3
Massimiliano ciacciarrone
obviously tl's going insane
you just announced the move that everyone dreamt of
but never believed was possible
how the hell is it going to work out for the team????
La Cavallina
Max, I love you
but there is no way in hell I'm telling you what's happening in the team
you just gotta wait for the season to start ;)
Massimiliano ciacciarrone
worth a shot
but seriously Ale, congrats on this
you will forever keep doing the impossible
i love you and i admire u fr
La cavallina
max shut up or im gonna burst out crying
El smooth matador
I'm behind max
truly proud of you Ale <3
La cavallina
what is it with red bull boys wanna make me cry rn
i'm honestly looking forward to our morning coffee at the paddock together
now we'll just see if lewis would like to join us
Piccolo schumi
do you think he'll join us?
La cavallina
We'll see what vibe we get when we group up next week
Massimiliano ciacciarrone
aye mick how's wec prep?
Piccolo schumi
it's actually insane
but cool as hell
like i need le mans to come asap i'm so excited for that race
El smooth matador
Max what's our chances of horner not killing us if we go to le mans
and watch from the Ferrari garage??
Massimiliano ciacciarrone
I mean he won't be too happy
but what can he really say? there isn't a red bull team at le mans
La cavallina
I'll talk to horner about it if you guys are interested in coming
i'll kick his ass if i have too ;)
Massimiliano ciacciarrone
Alessandra Ferrari our lord and saviourrrrrr <3
Charles and Alessandra closed the conversation on their phone when Andrea announced that dinner was done. The group made their way outside after grabbing a few drinks, settling down at the table on the back porch. It was a beautiful night, a bit of snow falling down, the mix of pinks and purples cascading the sky behind the mountains as the sun slowly started to set.
She lifted her phone up to take a picture of the gorgeous setting nature had to offer, and like muscle memory, she opened her chat with Toto, choosing the picture, but then realised what she was about to do. She sighed, deleting the unsent message and closed her phone, putting it to the side of her plate, deciding to put all of her focus on her food. She was so used to sending the Austrian pictures of her views for the past few weeks, and her receiving pictures of his views from Austria and Brackley, showing her his new house, that she suddenly felt like something was missing. And she hated that feeling horribly.
Charles glanced at his best friend from the corner of his eyes, and he saw how silent she silently gotten. He had also seen that she was about to message Toto the picture she took, but it was like a switch turned into her and decided against it, and that's when she got silent. She only spoke when one of the guys started up a conversation, flashing them a fake smile as she continued with them, but Charles could easily tell that she was sinking herself deep in thought.
When everyone ate their dinner, Alessandra excused herself, saying that she needed to do a quick work call, which Charles knew was a lie, especially by how fast she disappeared back in the cabin. Charles helped out clearing the stuff, and whilst the others decided to make hot chocolate from scratch, Charles made his way upstairs, quietly letting himself inside her room. She looked up when she heard him come in, trying to muster a smile, which Charles answered with a sad smile as he joined her on the bed, sat next to her as he rested his upper body against the back board.
"You wanna talk about what you're thinking?" Charles started as she rested her head on his shoulder, listening to her let out a small sigh.
"For the past two weeks Toto and I sent many pictures to each others of the views we had, you know me here, and him in Austria. He even sent me pictures from Brackley of his new house," she said, "and it's like become part of my routine that I almost did it during dinner, but then I remembered what happened this morning and, I don't know I felt stupid."
"You're not stupid, you feel like your routine's been interrupted, and I know how you are with things that happen constantly," Charles said, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, "can I ask you something?"
"Of course you can," she said, looking up at him with a soft glance, "you know absolutely everything now, you can ask me anything."
"Do you have feelings for Toto?" That soft glance became sheer confusion at the question Charles just asked her, causing the Monegasque's cheeks to turn red in embarassment when she started laughing, "Ale, you were close to the guy physically, hell there's always been a connection between the two of you. It's perfectly normal if you have feelings for him."
"I don't have feelings for Toto," she replied, and amidst her laughs, her tone was ice cold, words cutting, "whatever there was between us was purely based on lust and attraction. The only feelings I have towards the man now are hatred. Nothing else."
Charles nodded, deciding not to push it any further. But as he glanced down at his friend once more, who turned her head in the direction of the balcony doors, watching the snow fall down from the night sky, he knew that she was lying to herself. He knew that amidst the lust and attraction she claims there only was between her and their rival team principal, there were feelings from the two of them for each other. And they were both stubborn to admit it. He wasn't surprised though, they were probably the two most hardheaded people he knew, especially Alessandra, and when it came to intimate feelings, she would shut them out before they became a possibility.
But as he held Alessandra at his side, laid on her bed in absolute silence, he couldn't help but wonder if this was different. Whenever a man was involved in pissing Alessandra off in her personal life, he had always seen her brush him off like he was a fly, continuing on with her life like nothing's happened and moving onto the nex things in life. He's never seen her act this way, which is why he couldn't stop thinking about how whatever she had with Toto meant much more than she led on, or even more than she would admit to herself. He's experiencing a side of Alessandra he hasn't seen before, like he was walking on new terettory and didn't know what to do or how to help.
Charles started thinking back to the moments he saw Alessandra and Toto together, whether be it at the tracks, or even outside of racing. He slowly became to realise how the two were so unrecognisingly invested into each other, having a certain type of relationship that only those who knew the two would realise how special it was. They had a dymanic which was hard to describe, and it was what made their friendship, and rivalry as powerful as it was. Charles remembers how miserable and cut off to himself Toto was a few months before him and Susie divorced, and even after.
The only times he can recall being in a better mood was when him and Alessandra bumped into each other at the paddock, which wasn't really often as Alessandra would be working on the car from dusk till dawn every race weekend when she was still an engineer. But he really saw the difference the past season, which was when Toto and Alessandra really hung out at the paddock, the monotony during interviews was long gone when Alessandra was sat next to him. Everyone looked forward to watch their interviews, and that team principal sat with the two during press conferences dreaded it becuase they hated feeling left out of their invisible bubble, almost like they were speaking their own language when they weren't answering questions, with occasional snickering in between which made the others think they were gossiping about them.
Charles didn't know what to expect from the two of them the moment they saw each other at pre-season, but he knew that it wasn't going to consist of that harmless flirting, casual banter and occasional bickering like last season. He couldn't lie if he said he wasn't concerned about Alessandra, not that whatever happened with Toto would distract her from her work, he knew her well enough to know that nothing would distract her from her work. He was worried that she would use work as a way to shut off her feelings before realising them, and hurt herself mentally in the process. He hoped that he wouldn't be the case, and if he did see signs of that, he hoped that he would be able to help her. She was his boss, but above all, his best friend, and the last thing he wants for her was to burn herself out to the point of no going back because she couldn't be honest to herself about her feelings.
It wasn't just Charles who was deep in thought, but also Alessandra, as she stared blankly at the view from her balcony, the question Charles asked her whirling around in her brain like a hurricane, desperately trying to push it back, lock it up in a pandora box and never open it. She didn't have feelings for Toto, at least that's what she kept telling herself as her mind replayed every intimate moment that she had with him, which were a lot considering she only spent 3 nights with him. But in that short period of time, she managed to experience things, intimately, that she never even knew existed. His touch on her skin burned hotter than she thought possible, but she never enjoyed a burn so much than his touch. But she dismissed every burn, every spark, every bolt of electricity running through her, ever chill down her spine as her body reacting solely from the lust and attraction they had for each other, the tension that's been building for a long time finally released. But the reality of the matter was, Alessandra was scared to consider the possibility that everything she felt when she was with him could mean something more. She was scared to enter a place she never experienced before, which is why she kept saying that it was all purely physical.
But as she tried to convince herself that it was all physical, no strings or emotions attached, and that she was angry at Toto because of what he accused her off, she was ignoring how her heart was trying to hint at her that she was secretly heartbroken that she won't experience him in the ways only she did, behind closed doors, just the two of them, because it actually meant more to her. But she wouldn't admit it, barely understand it. All she does now is wonder why her heart feels heavier, and why she feels slightly empty inside.