Harry let go of my arm once we reached the bottom of the stairs and I continued to follow him into the living room. He picked up a beer in passing and slumped down into the sofa where we started off; across from Louis, who must've finally sweet talked Mckenzie because she was sitting close to him and he had an arm draped across her shoulders, along with Luke and Zayn who sat chatting next to them - all four huddled on the adjacent sofa to the one Harry and I sat on.
We were sitting reasonably far apart and the air suddenly felt kind of awkward between us once again. He wasn't looking at me - in fact, he wasn't looking at anything, just staring at the wall on the other side of the room while the hustle and bustle of the party consumed him.
"That was close," I spoke up, quietly enough so that no one else would listen in but loudly enough that he would catch it. I wasn't exactly feeling nervous - since the alcohol had clearly worked to loosen me up as proven by the entire goings-on of the evening - but I was a little unsure of how I was supposed to act around him for some reason.
"Yeah," he murmured, still not looking at me, pouting his lips and tucking his top one inside the clear glass bottle as he took a swig of his drink coolly. He spoke specifically to me but he wouldn't have looked like he was even sitting with me to anyone else, like even engaging in a conversation with me was a huge secret and no one could realise it was me he was talking to.
None of the others had taken notice of our presence, and since Harry had decided for whatever reason that he was going to be cold towards me again, I felt rather ignored and definitely like I was beginning to sober up. One minute I was so blind drunk I was tripping over and kissing Harry in the bathroom, and the next I was sitting quietly on the sofa with no one really to talk to and the buzz draining out of me. I really didn't want this time alone with my thoughts to dwell on any of the decisions I'd made tonight.
I slipped my phone out of my back pocket and took a peek at the screen; it was only 11:16pm so I knew we'd be here for at least another hour or two, thus I decided I better get another drink to perk myself up. I stood from the sofa and manoeuvred between the seat and the coffee table, making it past Harry without looking at him. As I was almost done shimmying by, his hand shot up and seized my thigh in a tight grip that immediately loosened once I stopped just beside him.
"Where are you going?" he asked, sounding almost confused, his voice was soft and attentive all of a sudden. I glanced down to find him staring up at me, mainly with his eyes through his dark lashes rather tilting his whole head up to me.
"I was just going to get a drink?" my voice sounded how his face looked: slightly puzzled and maybe a little wary like I didn't want to say the wrong thing like I usually seem to. He was such a strange and frustrating person.
"Don't you think you've had enough for one night?" he challenged in that usual serious tone that just had something about it that allowed me to sense that he was being playful.
"Well you're being boring and it's sucking all the fun out of me, so actually I was thinking I better fuel up."
He furrowed his eyebrows momentarily and then stood up, rising above me with his body close to mine in the narrow space between the seat and the table, "Well I'm coming with you then... to make sure you don't go overboard."
"There'll be people in the kitchen, you know? Sure you want to be seen with me?" I mumbled sarcastically once I'd turned around and started to head to the kitchen with Harry probably following close behind me.
"What?"
"Nothing."
After making myself a drink - which might I add, took a lot longer than expected with Harry for company, since he was practically supervising me and kept telling me it was too strong and making me start over - we went back to the sofas, but our spot was now occupied, so we perched on the coffee table in front of the others and joined in with their conversations.
For the remainder of the night Mckenzie and Louis were undeniably flirting as usual, Zayn was undeniably quiet as usual, and Harry was undeniably blunt as usual. I was sipping on my drink trying to make it last for as long as I could and praying for the confident and care-free me to reappear, but I was just getting tired and willing the night to go faster so I could go to bed.
At around one AM Luke started politely hinting for everyone to leave, he kept saying his parents would be home at eight in the morning and he had to restore the house back to it's former glory and get some sleep so that they didn't 'murder him'. We understandingly obliged and trundled outside, stopping at the end of his gravel driveway so Louis could smoke before we headed home.
"Where are we going now?" I half-whispered to Mckenzie, clutching my own arms and fidgeting on the spot as goosebumps flared over my skin and my teeth chattered from the ice-cold October air outside.
Mckenzie took the cigarette from between Louis' fingers when he offered and took a drag before handing it back to him, shrugging at me. Why did we always go out without making some kind of plan for afterwards?
"Why don't the three of ya come back and crash at mine?" Louis suggested through a cloud of thick smoke. It was at this point I realised we were a man down and Zayn must've found his own way home or decided to stay with Luke, leaving myself, Mckenzie, Louis and Harry.
"How are we gonna get there?" I raised with concern, I had no idea where we were since the journey here was all a blur (literally). I didn't even know where Louis lived.
"Both of our cars are here?" Harry said, looking over to me with his eyebrows pulled together in what looked to be some kind of annoyance.
"And you've both been drinking..." I pointed out.
"Hardly."
"You're not seriously suggesting you drive us home drunk?" I spat. Neither of the two boys said anything, just looked at me like I'd grown a second head. Was this seriously something they did? Usually, if something had arisen that I didn't want to do but felt like I'd be singled out if I didn't just go along with it to fit in, I would sit through the pain and be the sheep, but when it comes to something as serious as this I wasn't willing to even think about reconsidering.
"It's only round the corner..." Louis defended like it was nothing, he seemed kind of vigilant like he didn't want to get on my bad side. I could feel anger piecing itself together in my head as I narrowed my eyes and shot them a disgusted look.
"I don't care if it's a ten second drive away, drink driving is against the law - it's fuckíng dangerous!"
My mum had a close friend that was killed by a drunk driver when they were young and ever since then she'd drilled it into our heads that drink driving is the worst thing you can possibly do and we were never to even think about it as long as we lived. It absolutely ruined her to have her friend taken away by something so utterly repulsive as someone who decided they were going to get into a car drunk, and I never want to be involved in anything like that.
"Jess, come on. Harry's had, what... one? Two? We'll be fine." Louis even appeared uncertain of himself now.
I was becoming absolutely fuming that either of them would even consider driving whilst under the influence of anything, never had anyone I'd considered a friend been so stupid. That had me thinking: were they my friends? I remember when Harry and I had our argument he told me not to go running to him when my friends - or rather, his friends - didn't want me around.
"You're both being disgusting, and so, so selfish. You could kill someone! And not necessarily one of us, either, you could kill some innocent person that never would've seen it coming. You just said it's only round the corner; it's not worth the risk."
"She is kind of right, guys..." Mckenzie agreed sheepishly.
Harry scoffed and Louis looked a bit lost, and that's when I thought of something that I knew would tick Harry off, "Whether you get in that car tonight or not, I'm not coming with you. So, fine, you go. I'll walk home by myself and be the one to tell the story and say how I tried to stop you if something happens."
I could see Harry visibly stiffen, his eyebrows became even more deeply tied together in the middle and I could see the fire behind his eyes. "No you won't," he practically snarled.
"Yes I will," I shrugged, "I'm not afraid of walking by myself."
Harry huffed, "Fück. Fine. We'll bloody walk back."
I was mentally high fiving myself as he stormed off. Louis, Mckenzie and I all followed behind the man-sized toddler who was definitely throwing a tantrum but none of us said a word.
Throughout the walk Harry continued to lead the way by himself, and eventually Louis and Mckenzie fell behind; the giggling kept me far from turning around to investigate so I just kept walking by myself in the middle.
"You two will have to share the spare room. Not that you mind sleeping in the same bed, done it plenty'a times before, ey?" Louis teased, addressing me and Harry, a grin so wide that his eyes were merely slits set on his face as he unlocked his front door.
Harry immediately took to the stairs once we were let in, and as usual I followed him. He opened the door to what I'm assuming was Louis' spare bedroom, holding the door open behind him for me in an unusually polite gesture. I shut the door after us and as I turned back around to walk further into the room Harry was still there and he slammed his body into mine forcefully, my back hitting the door earning a wince on my part.
Okay, maybe he wasn't being so polite after all.
"Don't do that," he warned, his chest was heaving against mine like he'd just run a mile. In that one quick movement I'd hardly noticed he'd grabbed my hands and pinned them up against my head in only one of his, and his face was inches from mine, hot breath making it past tightly gritted teeth and hitting my skin.
"Do what?" I asked cluelessly, looking his face up and down before our eyes became sealed in an intense stare.
"Manipulate me like that. You knew I wouldn't let you walk on your own and you used it against me. I don't like when people play me like that - make a fool out of me."
Despite how angry he was coming across, and how he was struggling to even breathe or loosen the lock on his jaw because he'd worked himself up that much over this, his eyes said otherwise - his eyes said that he liked the challenge and were full of burning desire. Did me sticking up for myself against him and being dominant over him actually turn him on?
I had to fight the smirk that was threatening to make an appearance as I spoke again, "That made you panic, did it? Not being in control?"
He laughed vindictively in response, his face held amusement as he ran the pad of his thumb along my bottom lip, his mouth parted mimicking mine as he watched the movement intently. "I thought I liked this Jess, but she keeps me on my toes a lot more than usual so I'm beginning to have my doubts."
"Maybe I should start adding vodka to my cereal to make sure I'm always keeping you on your toes," I grinned, "Can't have you thinking you're the one in charge here."
"And you think you're in charge?" his eyebrows raised teasingly and he chuckled.
As his lips brushed against mine and I got the feeling he was going to kiss me, I slid out of his grip and under his arm to get away from him. I smiled smugly to myself as I headed to the bed in the middle of the room, sitting down and taking off my shoes to rub my aching ankles.
"Is it sore?" his voice came from the doorway and my head shot up questioningly. He still stood where I'd left him, his cheeks slightly flushed. "Your ankle," he confirmed, "From when you fell?"
"I don't think so, not right now. My feet just hurt from walking around in these shoes all night - M'not used to heels."
"Hey, you wanted to walk," he pointed out, and I gave him a 'don't start' look. Harry strolled into the tiny en-suite that by the looks of it hardly had enough space for even one person to move around in so I didn't follow him.
"I wish, just for once, I would end up at home after a party. Sleeping in my clothes with a full face of makeup isn't pleasant."
Harry came back into view and tossed a washcloth at me right before he pulled his shirt over his head. I watched as his muscles flexed under his skin and I took in the tattoo of two ferns on his lower stomach that I'd never really seen in the light before. I think they were my favourite so far. "Want this?" he asked, holding his shirt out in front of him.
"Uh... no, thanks. I already have one of your shirts, I don't want to end up with another."
"I'm sure there's something in one of these draws," he mused, going over to investigate the beech chest of drawers that stood on the opposite wall to the bed.
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I've had kind of a bad day today, and I thought I'd tell you that in order to guilt trip you into leaving me lots of nice comments ;)
I'm dedicating this chapter to @_hiiiiharry because I really want you all to go check out her story Distract and Sedate. It's an amazing story and it's really well written, and I think it's not getting the attention and the credit it deserves!
If I could dedicate the chapter to two people, I definitely would; the second person being @scooby-snacks, a wonderful person who also has a wonderful story called No Control that I totally recommend you read!
Love,
E x