How desperate he must have been when he ran towards him in only three seconds, desperately calling for help, but was abandoned indifferently.
"The glass is one way, I can't see inside."
Even his voice was trembling.
"What about the sound?"
"You have such good hearing. If I snort at night, you will wake up. Why didn't you hear me banging on the glass so hard?"
Ji Tingyu's heart hung up, and he subconsciously held his breath.
All he wanted was an explanation, an explanation that would bring him out of the nightmare.
No matter how outrageous what He Zhuo said, such as wearing earphones, having a cold and hearing loss, or even not hearing the sound at all but just looking back casually, he will accept it.
He will no longer mind those three years of neglect and cold violence, no longer mind that he lost his own stone and ridiculed countless times, as long as He Zhuo speaks out, he will believe it.
But He Zhuo told him: "I heard..."
Ji Tingyu closed his eyes, his heart sank to the bottom of the valley.
"Stop talking, shut up! Stop talking!"
He rushed up to cover He Zhuo's mouth, and threw him to the ground, preventing him from saying another word.
With tears in his eyes, He Zhuo opened his fingers one by one, confessing the secret he had buried in his heart for a whole year.
"I heard voices, but I thought you knew I was back and lost my temper again, so you didn't care..."
Regret is like a maggot attached to the bone, gnawing at his flesh and blood in every midnight dream.
The fact that glass is one-way is just a reason for him to deceive himself.
No matter how many times he was reborn, he would never forgive himself. Even though he heard the voice, he didn't go upstairs.
If he went up to check immediately, the four people would have no time to move, and he would be able to expose William's plot and save Ji Tingyu.
That was his most likely chance to succeed, the chance to save the kitten.
"It turns out that the truth is so simple, it's just because I don't care..."
Ji Tingyu laughed, with his shoulders raised, his smile shaking, his voices were dark and depressing.
In an instant, the laughter turned into a hysterical roar. He took out a gun from his leg bag and put it on He Zhuo's head: "I really want to kill you!"
He Zhuo didn't dodge or evade, he closed his eyes willingly.
But Ji Tingyu's hand holding the gun trembled violently, and his eyes began to become bloodshot again. He roared and smashed the gun against the wall, slapping himself like he did in his previous life: "Why did you do this, why did you do this to me! I I've done good deeds all my life, I've saved so many people, why did I run into you, you guys!"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He Zhuo hugged him tightly, grabbed his hand and put it on his body, even though he beat and scolded and struggled without letting go, his lips trembled to comfort him, "It's all over, it's over, yes I'm not good, it's all my fault, if you want to punish me, punish me, okay?"
"What's the use of being sorry! What's the use of you saying this now! Do you know how I died? Huh?"
He poked He Zhuo's face and asked word by word:
"If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have gone to Syst, I wouldn't have been burned to death. Do you know how much it hurts to have my bones dried out a little bit? You know I could hear my own skin and flesh being burned in those few seconds. The sound of burning? Did you know that when I died, there was only the stone you gave me!"
He pushed He Zhuo away, dropped his hands, and knelt powerlessly.
It is like a helpless broken canopy, which can be blown away by a slight gust of wind.
"If you know, why do you still think that I still want to be with you in this life?"
"In your heart, am I that mean..."
The high-ranking big shots always call themselves affectionate when they hurt first and then make up, but they never think about whether the hurt person wants to make up for it.
The person who was beheaded by a knife will never forget the pain of cutting his neck with a knife. How could he fall in love with the executioner just because the executioner took his head back.
"I never want to see you again," he said.
The truth did not save him from the nightmare, but forced him to pull out the love in his heart bit by bit.
Love is a damn thing, it just makes him miserable and obsessed.
If he is reborn with his memory, the first thing to do is to kill William and the four servants, and then beat He Zhuo violently, never allowing him to step into Newell's land. Then lead his team members to live this life in style and joy, how could life be worse than death like now?
Once he makes a decision, he never changes it.
Knowing that he was sentenced to death, He Zhuo struggled and said:
"We've been through so much. You said you liked me thirteen times, so these likes will be discarded in an instant, right..."
Ji Tingyu no longer went mad, and was as calm as a pool of stagnant water.
"What's the use of liking and loving?"
"When you love me, you can even find out that my teeth are swollen from ice. When you don't love me, I don't even notice that I'm sick. After all, the relationship between us is maintained by this kind of illusory thing, without any guarantee And effectiveness, now I love it so much that I can't guarantee that I won't throw it away the next day."
"But you know I'll always love you, there's no 'not sure'."
"I mean me."
Ji Tingyu stood up, went to the closet and took out his nightgown, slowly put it on, the belt of the nightgown was fixed on his chest with a pin, he took off the pin, and the sharp point of the needle pierced into his nail.
Ten fingers connected to the heart, that is the most painful part of the whole body, the sharp pain is like a whip on the heart.
"I found out that I don't like you that much..."
Ji Tingyu turned his back to He Zhuo, the needle tip pressed deeper and deeper, every word he said was like gouging out a bone from him.
"You are arrogant, strong, irritable, and lustful. I used to think you were so good, but now I just feel extremely disgusted. I don't feel distressed by the way you were scarred that day, but I feel... that I will be relieved when you die... ..."
Sorry, that's all I can say...
He will never be able to get over that hurdle in his heart.
Looking at He Zhuo's face, he remembered the insult and cold treatment he had given him in his previous life, and when he saw his back, he felt despair and fear, bitterness rose up in his throat reflexively, waiting for someone to grab his hair and feed him mud .
How could he love in such a dead end?
Forgetting and abandoning is his only way out.
He Zhuo didn't know how to react to these words. His face was hot, and he took a few steps back like a child in embarrassment. He was dazed and dazed, trying to say something, but his lips trembled countless times, but he couldn't Squeeze out a word.
"I, I understand, I won't bother you anymore."
Ji Tingyu rested his forehead on the closet, covered his mouth with bloody hands, to prevent his crying from coming out.
He Zhuo wanted to leave, but after a few chaotic steps, he retreated regretfully.
"I remember you carved a stone for me before, do you still want it, if not... can you give it to me?"
The stone was picked up in the wind shelter, and it was engraved: In the spring of 2018, Yu He Zhuo, he was a little wolf with blue eyes.
That was the first time Ji Tingyu engraved him into the trajectory of his life.
But Ji Tingyu told him: "I have already thrown it away."
A whole pin pierced into the flesh, and the kitten didn't know which finger or heart was hurting.
He warned himself not to be indecisive, not to be indecisive, not to let He Zhuo be trapped in this relationship that shouldn't have happened forever.
He bit his nails and tried his best to endure the boundless sorrow, and completely cut off his thoughts: "I don't want your name to appear in my life. If possible, I hope that what I lose is this time with you." Half a year of memory."
He Zhuo opened his mouth, scratching his hair in a daze, and suddenly couldn't figure out why it happened like this.
"Even if I tell you that I gave all of me...to get you back, you won't want me anymore, will you?"
Ji Tingyu choked with sobs and trembled, unable to hold on any longer, slid along the cabinet door to the ground, with blood and tears dripping down his fingers, his hands and face covered.
"You are fine in this life, let's find another kitten..."
He Zhuo caught him from behind, broke his hand, pulled out the pin, smiled and finally kissed the tip of his ear.
"Stop crying, Mi, I will help you out."
Chapter 64 I'm leaving, take care
He Zhuo stayed at the base for one night, sharing a room with Desert Qing.
Because of the heavy snowstorm at night, he couldn't go down the mountain.
Ji Tingyu packed his things, packed them in a boxy small cardboard box, handed them to him through the window of Desert Green's room, and said to him through the window pane: "There is a train leaving Newell tomorrow. I'll send Rosalind to see you off."
This is chasing customers.
He Zhuo remained silent, standing at the window and looking out at him.