Sloans POV
Something is wrong with Carter.
I feel it.
Something has felt wrong since Carter left lunch and wasn't back for the rest of the week. That knock was loud all week, telling me to go find him. I kept asking Pop's where he was but he wasn't budging. Instead, he would leave for hours at a time and he would come back smelling like him. I was drowning in jealousy and Loren was growling in anger. I wanted to yell and cuss him out. Tell him to force Carter back and be surrounded by his family.
To be surrounded by me, if anything.
But he didn't.
It tore me apart in a way that I never thought. I wanted nothing more than to
What was worse was when it was the day for them to leave and he was back. My Carter looked miserable. The knock was so loud and I couldn't focus on anything. I wanted to walk up to him and say something, trying to ease the loud knocking in my chest. But he was in and out so quickly. It made me wonder if Ezra packed his bag beforehand. He ran inside so quickly that it was almost as if he was barely there. I hadn't had the chance to leave my room to go see him before he was in the car leaving.
Leaving me.
It made my chest burn, and feel on fire. It hurt, but I understood. I mean what do I expect him to say when he heard me say that there was nothing between us? When that was the furthest thing from the truth. There was everything between us. Everything and more. So much more.
But this...this is worse.
I feel it.
That insistent knocking was loud and ringing in my ears. I can't even think or speak, all I can hear is the knock.
I was pacing back and forth in my room, trying to calm myself down but it didn't work. Nothing worked. Loren was pacing too and we were both overwhelmed with emotion. I had texted him a few times. Something I've never done before but no response. I'm sure he didn't even know I had his number. I just stare at it sometimes and I imagine texting him myself. The conversation we would have. The things I'd say to make him laugh.
But of course, I don't tell anyone that. That's a sign of mental illness.
I don't think I was expecting a text back, but I think I was. Even if it was a 'leave me alone'. Something. But there was nothing. Absolutely nothing. I even had Ezra text him and there was no response and this was hours ago.
I feel it.
Something very bad happened. That's the only explanation of why I felt this way. Why the knock was so strong and pounding in my head? Every nerve in my body was telling me to go to him. To find him. I was so close to doing it. Walking into his room and keeping the darkness out and away from him.
It also didn't help that Z was still here and there was this tension between us. I mean of course there would be, he knew something was wrong with me the first time I rejected him when it came to sex. Of course, Z was persistent and tried every day so far, but I've been able to get out of it. But I already knew there was no way I would be touching him again. I already hurt Carter once, I won't hurt him again. Especially not in that way. I'd never touch another again, I never should have in the first place but I can't change that. All I can do now is make sure the only person I touch next is my Carter.
There was a knock on my door and Pops walked in with a worried look on his face. His hair was pulled back so I was able to see his every feature. Something was bothering him terribly and of course, my first thought was Carter. He closed the door behind him but he stood there with his head hanging low and sighed deeply. Fuck. Something happened. I knew it.
"Just say it." My voice croaked slightly, my throat dry. My body vibrated with anxiety praying and hoping that it was a miscommunication and Carter was fine and in his room. But I knew it wasn't.
"First answer me this, is he your mate?" He stood with his arms crossed and his eyebrows pulled together. I know Pops loved Carter and they had a weird father-son connection between the two of them. So even though he is protective of me, he is protective of me as well. Plus I always loved how Carter felt like he was already a part of my family. He got along with my siblings and my parents already loved him like their own. What more could I want?
"Yes, yes. Now what is it? Is he okay?" I answered almost too quickly, the words rolling off my tongue effortlessly. I had a feeling pops knew so the question didn't faze me. It wasn't like I was trying to hide it. But I wasn't airing out Carter and I's business. Especially since I didn't know if he was going to reject me or not.
"I knew it. I fucking knew it. The moment he showed me his stomach." He sighed and ran his hands down his face.
"He showed you?" I asked as guilt flooded me again, I'd never forgive myself.
"You didn't know, kid." He told me reassuring me and I let out a deep breath. "Something happened with him. Sean had said something to Carter and they got into a fight. Sean is pretty banged up, and helping but Carter—" Oh fuck, oh fuck.
"He broke the rule, you know. And Dieter was giving him his punishment and things were said. And Carter ran away. Took his clothes, and left his phone. They can't find him. They've been looking for hours and nothing."
Loren let out a deep growl at the news and I had to hold back my own. I knew about the damn rule. A rule I fucking opposed to since the moment Carter told Ezra, and I happened to be eavesdropping. But hell, I'm happy I did. It was fucking stupid to expect Carter to cater to those around him. And the punishment was even worse. Two days in the cells because he used his full strength. Because he was a fucking lycan. Because the stupid pack wolves couldn't take a proper beating.
But I never thought Uncle Dieter would enforce it.
The shit makes me furious. Carter doesn't deserve that, and I'm sure Sean said something that required getting his ass kicked. If there was one thing I knew about Carter was that he wasn't inherently violent. Not in the slightest. Even though he tried to be seen that way, I saw through him. I saw the real him.
"Well, what did they expect? That rule was fucking ridiculous!" I hissed out, and I balled my fists, I started pacing the floor again, needing to release this energy that was pent up inside me.
"It doesn't matter what we think, Dieter has his rules. Carter knows that—"
"Yeah blame Carter for his dad being a dick." I interrupted, hating that everyone found a way to make Carter the problem. When in reality he never ways.
"Sloan." My pops said lowly, letting me know I was walking on thin ice, but I didn't care. I would defend my mate against my flesh and blood.
"What? You're going to tell me you agree with that shit? Carter has every right to use his strength just like the rest of those pure wolves."
"Sloan, don't get disrespectful." My pops said, trying to be the devil's advocate and defend his best friend but I don't see how he could. Especially in this.
"Well someone has to. Do you not care? Cause it sure seems like you're picking Dieter's side when he is the one in the wrong." The question rolled out too easily to stop it, and for a minute I felt guilty. But then it dissipated.
"I do care. I care, Sloan. More than you, I love that kid--"
"Then why are you defending his parents?! They are in the wrong here!"
"I'm not defending anyone!" My pops yelled and his voice shook the room. I'm almost positive now that everyone in the house can hear our conversation. "There are a lot of things that you don't know." My pops voice was low and steady, but there was a heaviness to it.
"Like what? What could be so bad that you can constantly overlook the way Dieter and Crispin treat Carter?" I crossed my arms and I tucked my hands. My claws were extending and Loren was even more pissed. He wanted answers. And Loren would do anything to get them.
"Carter will always have us. That's all that matters. And right now, Carter needs us. He needs you."
A heavy silence fell between us, both of us calming ourselves down for a moment and getting back to being levelheaded.
"What do I do?" My voice croaked, my throat dry and raw from the battle I was just in. My mind was reeling with places Carter could go. But it came up blank. Because I know nothing personal about my mate. That fact alone made me sick with myself.
"Your bond should lead you to him. If you could just find him, make sure he's okay?" I nodded quickly, knowing I was going to do that already. I turned around grabbed a suitcase and started packing my clothes. I didn't even fold them, I just threw them in there and hoped for the best.
"I didn't mean tag along, Sloan," Pops said as he watched me pack but I ignored him. Of course, I'd tag along. What else would I do?
I wasn't going to force Carter back. If he used his strength then it was for a reason. He wouldn't have lashed out like that just to do it. Something happened and I was going to figure it out. I was going to put an end to the knocking on my head. And I was going to show up and be a mate to Carter. Because he deserves it. He deserves everything. I'd stay away from him as long as he let me. Even if that meant he could reject me, that didn't matter to me.
He mattered to me.
And he needed me. He just didn't know it.
I moved around the room with haste, making sure to grab everything that I needed. And if not, I'd just buy whatever I needed when I was there.
"Goddess. You're stubborn." My pops sighed as he leaned against the door frame. I had never moved so fast in my life, I had surprised myself. I finished packing and grabbed my keys and wallet and stood in front of my pops. He stood unmoving and I had to hold in my groan of annoyance. I needed to go to my mate, and I knew how.
Following the knock.
"Okay, will you just—let us know when you find him? Promise we won't go and hunt you down. Just give us updates okay?" There was something deep within my father's eyes I recognized as anger. But not towards me. Towards the situation.
"Yeah, I will. Of course, I will." I told him truthfully as I practically bounced on my toes, ready to leave and find my Carter.
"You also need to tell Z." Fucking hell. I forgot about him. Damnit, Sloan. Why did you be an idiot and invite him?
'I've been wondering the same thing.' Loren chuffed out.
"Fuck..." I groaned and ran my hand over my head, the need to leave was great, but I wasn't a dick. I knew I needed to go talk with Z.
"I will, but Pops. How do I know where to go? I might know, like there's a part of me that can feel him...but is that enough?"
"Trust in your tiger. Loren will know where to go." Pops put his hand on my shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. Loren pumped his chest out and he stood firm and tall. Grateful for the praise from our father. "Z is in the sitting room, go talk to him." Pops patted me on the back as he left. I leaned down grabbed my bag and walked out of my room.
With each step I took to the sitting room I got more anxious. I felt bad. I shouldn't have given him false promises. Or at least not until after the rejection. He didn't deserve it. Even in all of this, Z had been kind to me.
I opened the door and he was sitting with a book in his hand lying on the couch. His headphones are on and his music is blaring. Thank goddess he didn't hear pops and I's conversation. He finally noticed me and smiled but then it faltered as he looked down at my hands that had bags of clothes. I sat it down by the door and took a deep breath as he sat up and took his headphones off.
"What's going on?" He asked as I moved to sit down next to him. Worry was evident in his eyes and I hated knowing that what I was about to say next would break his heart. But it needed to happen...
"I have to go." My voice was soft and was barely above a whisper.
"Go? Another graze? Should I pack?" Z shot up and was to his feet in no time. Putting the book away as if he was ready to follow me to the ends of the earth.
"No. Not another graze." I sighed, finding it a lot harder to say this than I anticipated.
"Then what? Where are you going?" He crossed his arms and anger started to leak from him. It was evident in his eyes, that he didn't want me to leave without him.
"Something is wrong with Carter. He ran from home and I—"
"You're going to go find him." He scoffed and ran his hand through his hair. "I should have fucking known."
"Z, I'm sorry. Truly."
"Fucking save it, Sloan. Can't believe you're going to go chase after a 23-year-old man who ran away from home. He's immature!" He yelled and Loren was getting agitated. Because we were sitting here talking and not leaving. And because of how he was talking about our Carter. "He's been nothing but an asshole to you. And here you are dropping everything to chase after him!"
"Watch it," I said through gritted teeth. Which made Z scoff and roll his eyes at me.
"Wow, okay. Great. Well, I hope Perfect Carter is just that. And he finally treats you with some fucking respect." I thought perhaps he was done but then I felt something hit me square in the chest. I looked down in my lap and there sat a book.
Z just threw a fucking book at me.
"I'm done. Don't call me after this blows up in your face. I'm packing my shit and I'm leaving." He stomped out, not before yelling a million cuss words at me. Which I can't help but say I deserve.
'Good riddance.' Loren said with an amused huff.
There was a soft knock on the door and Flo walked in. She immediately stood beside me and began rubbing my back. I was happy for her comfort but also extremely annoyed because all I wanted to do was get in my car and leave.
"I didn't mean to eavesdrop." She whispered lightly as she continued to rub my back.
"Don't lie." I chuckled and turned to her.
"Pops told me what happened...I hope Carter is okay."
"He's not. I feel it." The knocking was loud and evident. It was louder than my thoughts at this point. My chest was unbearably tight and I could feel Carter's discomfort. I needed to get to him soon.
"What's the plan?"
"I don't know. I guess I'll just wing it. I just hope that he lets me in, you know? I can feel his despair...his loneliness. He's hurting bad, Florence." I put my hand to my chest and began to rub.
'We need to leave, I need to find Theodore.' Loren growled, his agitation slowly becoming mine.
Loren was just as obsessed with Theo as much as I was with Carter growing up. I'd never seen him so interested in something in his life. Until one time Theo fronted for Carter just for a moment and I have never seen Loren so active. He was scratching to get and meet him. He was stalking him like he was prey. Growling and salivating at the lycan. It was a strange feeling for me.
"Okay. I won't hold you any longer. Just call us with updates." Florence must have sensed my agitation as she gave me one last pat and stood up. She smiled softly at me and I leaned over and pressed a soft kiss on her forehead.
"Of course. I will. Tell everyone I will call them soon."
I stood and grabbed my bags so fast I almost missed the handle. I began running through the house and it was at this moment I realized how big this place was. Both Dad and Pop were already waiting for me. Dad pulled me into a tight hug and kissed me, and Pop patted my shoulder and opened the door for me.
I jumped in the car and began driving. I had no idea where I was going. But like Dad said I had to trust Loren. And I did. So for the remainder of the drive, I let him take control to find our mates.
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DOUBLE UPDATE!
Gosh, Sloan is such a good guy and I love him! And I love the way he talks about Carter. Like he is sooo down bad for that man and he doesn't even care!
As always, let me know what you think! I would love to hear from you all!
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Until the next...