"Big brother," I grinned, "What a surprise."
Malachi is looking at me like he doesn't know me. Like I'm not his blood, like he's not mine.
I guess he can recognize a predator when he's in the presence of one, I can give him props for that at least.
"I heard something happened on the docks last tonight, care to share?" I hummed as I circled him.
Of course I'd already heard the news- Jughead tried to be a hero.
Tried to give himself over to stop the oncoming war between Ghoulies and Serpents. Like he has no faith in me, in the part I run.
Stupid Serpent ego.
It'll get them all killed.
Across town Jughead was dealing with his own crew.
"It was insane!" Jughead was holding his head in his hands, his heart still pounding.
"Lilith told them not to mess with us, Malachi ordered them all to beat me and not a single one of them moved to his command." Jughead shook his head in absolute confusion.
"He was fucking furious, shouting and going against his own." Jughead told the group as they all glanced to one another.
"Malachi says the war is coming, that the princess is writing it." Sweet Pea stiffened at the news.
Sweet Pea had been trying to contact her, calling and even leaving voicemails begging for her to call him. His heart was crumbling.
Despite their time together the other day her walls were still up high and he worried she truly had just needed the relief of sex and didn't want him. But she'd told him she loved him, she told him so many times.
Sweet Pea couldn't help but doubt it.
He supposed it was payback in a way- that he'd made Lilith doubt everything and chase him. Now Sweet Pea was the one desperately chasing her.
Lilith didn't care, she did in her own way- but she had bigger things to look at right now.
Like her coward of a brother who was fidgeting in front of her like a child in trouble.
"He turned himself in, what else was I to do?" Malachi finally settled on saying which was just as displeasing as the fidgeting.
"I understand you were off hiding, Brother, but there is a Ghoulie wide Serpent ban currently." I glared.
"I want to meet with them, see what all they have going on, see what we can agree on." My eyes rolled.
I had a fucking plan.
I want a truce.
I want solid ground under my feet for just once on my own. Without fucking depending on someone- without depending on Sweet Pea.
I want to be solid on my own.
"I'm off to school." I snatched my bag off the couch as I eyed him.
"We'll be having a meeting tonight with them." I informed my so called King.
"Get your fucking head on straight or I'll go around you, again, Kai." His eyes met mine slowly, the fury showing through.
I sent him a nod before I headed out.
The Aprilla grumbled under me, a relief sending sparks through my body as I finally took off.
My head was so jammed packed I couldn't settle on any thought in particular, I tried to enjoy the momentary freedom while I had it.
I could see him before I even parked.
Standing on the steps as he waited for my presence to be shown.
I liked it.
I parked my bike and pulled off my helmet in a solid tug as I adjusted my bag before starting towards the school, I couldn't help but lock my eyes on his figure. I remembered what it was like to see him in Greendale that first night.
Tall.
Pretty face and eyes, a nice mouth to look at and his god forsaken voice that wraps me up like a bug in a spider web.
I suppose I do the same to him, otherwise he wouldn't be here, taking the steps to meet me halfway.
The anger flares in my throat though and I can't help the smirk that pulls my mouth as I step right past him.
"Lil-" His voice starts but I'm moving faster than him, he wasn't expecting me to continue on.
Good.
I hope it burns.
"Lili." He tries again as he takes the steps two at a time to catch up to me.
I glance up at him but don't slow, "Yes?"
"Can- Can we talk?" Sweet Pea stutters making my smile appear.
"Sorry," I say, "I'm running late."
His brows furrow as he looks me over, "You look pretty."
Such a sudden and random compliment I can't help but match his expression of confusion.
"I know." I tell him as I look forward.
"I love you." He says from behind me, loud and proud as if he's always been. Like he wasn't ashamed to love me a week ago.
I look back at him over my shoulder, my eyes looking over his frame quickly before I turn back around. Either his leathers are extra heavy today or his shoulders just dropped in disappointment.
It hurts to treat him like this but also feels necessary for myself. I don't need him.
I need myself.
Lunch comes quickly, I place myself with Zander and Sami, close to Toni and Fangs. Sweet Pea makes a point to sit as close as possible, next to Fangs. We lock eyes but I'm quick to glance back to Sami as she shares a story.
And then Jughead shows finally.
"Jug," I start to gain his attention- everyone's attention.
"You'll be meeting Kai tonight at seven in the lair." I tell him with a raised eyebrow.
"Because you did something stupid yesterday, didn't you?" I cock my head at him as his cheeks redden.
"Thank you." He says so quietly I'm sure nobody hears him.
"They would have killed you, you're lucky I even thought to say anything." I told him.
Truthfully the declaration of leaving the Serpents alone came from my own mistakes a week ago, too much pressure at once could make this town implode.
I could've ruined everything, I could've truly hurt someone- ruined lives and families.
I could've hurt someone Sweet Pea loved.
Despite not knowing where we stood- where I stood with him I couldn't help but immediately announce it to the group once I'd calmed down.
Before I knew it lunch was over and I was walking away as quickly as I could in the sea of fucking people.
I didn't make it far.
I knew the second the hand wrapped around my forearm that it was him but it didn't make the sudden jerk less enraging.
"Don't fucking grab me like that." I hissed at him immediately once the storage closets door closed.
Sweet Pea frowned.
And stared.
"What?" I finally snapped as I tossed my hands up in irritation.
"I thought we were okay!" Sweet Pea snapped back for once- making me jump at the sudden volume.
"What?" I repeat.
"I- I thought we were okay?" He repeated, his tone even and less frightening for a girl with my past.
"We're not okay." Is the only thing I can think to say. "I'm mad."
"About what?" Sweet Pea's brows raised as if he was genuinely confused.
"At everything." I confess, "I'm pissed still about what you put me through."
"I apologized." Sweet Pea sighed only for me to laugh.
"Did you?" I ask, "Because I don't remember it."
Sweet Pea's brows furrowed immediately as he thought before swallowing.
"You're right." He said, "You're right, I am so sorry."
"It was ego, I was pissed you didn't tell me, I was pissed I couldn't help you- that you didn't think I could help you." Sweet Pea spills.
"I was mad my whole gang was looking at me like I was stupid- or like I was a traitor." He mumbled, "I was pissed you got hurt because of me, I was mad that I loved you so much but put up such a barrier to hide it so I wouldn't be sad about it."
"I was fucking sad, Lili. I'm still fucking sad every time you look at me like you don't know me anymore, I'm fucking sad you don't look at me anymore."
"I'm so sorry that I wasted so much time we could've been together, I'm sorry I hurt you and made you doubt that it was real."
"It was the realest fucking thing I've ever felt in my life, I've never loved anyone the way I love you- I never even thought it was fucking possible." Sweet Pea spills.
I blink, "Thank you."
Sweet Pea's eyes race between mine.
"And?" His tone makes me want to crumble.
"You took time Sweet Pea, to get over it." I remind him, "I need a little bit of time."
"You know I love you, there's so much shit going on right now I can't stand it." I tell him watching his expression drop.
"You don't want to be with me anymore?" He whispered.
My heart broke for him.
"I'll always want to be with you." I tell him quietly, "But right now I need to get my shit settled."
Sweet Pea nods as I take a small step towards him, reaching out to touch his chest in a small show of how I feel.
"I'm a ticking time bomb." I tell him.
His eyes finally meet mine again, "I promise I'll come back to you."
"That's all I need, Lili." Sweet Pea tells me quietly, his hand covering mine on his chest as we take a moment to look at each other.
One of the few moments we've had to just look at one another since everything blew up.
Neither of us angry, but both somehow destroyed.
"I love you, Lili." He tells me, "I'm so sorry I made this so much harder."
"I love you, Sweet Pea." I remind him.
"It was a mutual destruction." I offer with a small smile.
"Can I kiss you?" He asked me quietly waiting until I nodded to dip his head.
Kissing Sweet Pea always made me feel safe and warm, this is no different. There was a sadness this time though.
"Come to me if you need me?" Sweet Pea asked as he leaned his forehead to mine.
I nod, "You too."
And then I left him.
It felt fucking horrible.