Not long before the end of Chapter 21
Craig-
I'm in Chad's law-firm (where I work) once again but hopefully, for the last time, because, frankly, I'm like everyone else, this thing needs to be over so we can all get back to our lives. I haven't known Donny, let alone Linnie, nearly as long as most of the people I've gathered here, but I'm beyond exhausted by all this drama. There's Kenny, Gina, Chad, Janine (getting more pregnant by the day), Brook, Spencer, myself, Krystal, Chris, Candace, and her and Donny's son Naldo. But Donny's on his way now and hopefully he's going to put a bow on this whole mess.
After dropping Linnie off at the airport, Donny went with his brother, Chester, his caretaker, Neil, and Chester's service dog, a German Shepherd, Gimble down to Manhattan to visit Donny and Chester's mom's gravesite. I'll let him explain more in a minute, but right now I have to settle everyone down. It wasn't easy getting everyone gathered here, especially Brook (along with Spencer).
"Alright, everyone, calm down." I say
"Don't tell us to calm down, Craig," Chad says impatiently, "what's this all about? I assume, that as usual, this is about that coward Donald."
"Yeah," Spencer says, "isn't it enough already?"
"Shut up, Spencer!" I say
"Please, don't tell him to shut up," says Brook, "against my much better judgement, you convinced ME it would be worth my while to come here and it better be; he better have a really good apology after I found out what a hypocrite he is."
I see Brook look over at Candace when she says this who's kind of standing alone with Naldo, who's playing on the floor with his toys. Other than maybe her brother, Kenny, no one's really spoken to her either because, right now, she's about as unwelcome here as Donny is.
Everyone was already upset with Donny after the revelations on Friday night and this thing with Naldo being Donny's kid hasn't made it any better.
"Guy's I know you're all still very upset with Donny," I tell them, "but he's had a long time to think about this."
"Where's he been all day," asks Kenny, "I know he brought Linnie to the airport this morning and I only know because my sister was hysterical over it."
Kenny, along with most of us, roll our eyes over this. She's barely been here a full 48 hours and I can already tell what a drama queen she is.
"I'll let him explain everything when he gets here," I say as I look at my watch, "which should be any minute now."
"Why're you involved with this anyways, Craig," Janine asks, "you haven't known Donny as long as we all have so how is any of this your business?"
"Janine, with all due respect to Chad because you're his wife and he's my boss, but please do not speak to me this way," I say, she looks a little insulted by this, "look, I'll say this much. Like you said Kenny, Donny brought Linnie to the airport so she could fly to LA so she can make her movie about her video, and to get some space from all this."
"I wish we could get some space from all this." Spencer says
"Shut up, Spencer!" Gina and Janine say at the same time. Those two have been sharing the same brain lately.
"Will you please stop interrupting me?" I say but I see everyone's looking passed me. I turn around and here comes Donny, Chester, his caretaker, Neil, the service dog, Gimble, and an elderly gentleman that I don't know. He must be the man Donny told me about that they brought back from the city. They all walk in, so I quickly signal to Chris to start live streaming on his phone now, while I quickly call Linnie and I also send her a link because this is going to be something.
Donny-
"I'll take it from here, Craig." I say, he was on the phone for a second just now, "Thanks for getting everyone here, bro, you and Chris, along with my brother, Chester here, have helped me through this ordeal."
"Wait a second, Donny," Gina interrupts me, "before you start, Janine and I need to ask Chad and Kenny something."
"...Ok...?" I say. I look over at Craig who just shrugs
"What, you two wanna do that now?" Chad's asking the two girls
"It was your idea, Chad." Janine says
"Ok, go ahead," Chad says, "let's just get this over with. But you two remember the conditions, right?" I have no idea what these guys are talking about
"Yeah, sure, just do it." Kenny says.
Then I see both, Janine and Gina, walk toward me and I get a little scared
"You two aren't going to hit me again wi-" I get interrupted by Janine, who instead of hitting me, is kissing me, "Janine wha-", that's all I get out before Gina does the same thing. I am so confused.
"Okay, Chad, you're right," Janine says while looking at me with a blank stare, "it was just the nostalgia, I didn't feel anything. Gina?"
"Same," Gina says, and then she looks over at Kenny, "don't worry, honey, we don't need to call off the wedding." After that, they both walk back to where they were originally standing not before kissing and hugging their respective men.
This kind of threw me off for a second but I got it back.
"Y'know, what? I'm actually glad you two just did that and had that reaction," I begin, "so I'm going to start with you guys but before I do that I have to say something to ALL of you. I owe you each a big apology for what I've put you all through these passed few months and really, these passed few years. And I will get to each of you, individually, because you all deserve that personal touch. That's what I've been trying to come up with all afternoon. You see, Chester and I; along with Neil here, and of course, Gimble," he barks hello, "went down to the City to see our mom. (Don't worry, Neil, I'm not going to mention Russ; no one's asked about him so I won't say anything). I needed some introspection and I needed Chester with me because I needed to ask him what does he think, Lisa, our mother would think. And what did you say, buddy?"
"Kester say Mom say, 'say sorry one on one and all together'." Chester says.
"In case you didn't understand him, he said I should say sorry to each one of you individually because and as a group because that's how our mother did things. And all of you in here, whoever knew her and loved her, agree." I see nods from the ones who knew her
"So that's what I'm going to do," I say, walking toward Janine and Gina, "you two say you felt nothing when you kissed me just now, which is good because it'll help me illustrate several points;
"Janine, I know I was your first and I now know that you know that you were my first," I say, "we'll always have that between us. I'll admit, at the time I was foolishly saving myself for her" I point sideways to Candy, "and Gina, I'll get to you next but that was the only reason, at least in the beginning that I didn't ask you for it. But, Janine, I didn't save myself for her because I met you; I remember meeting you on the first day of freshman year. You were as dorky and nerdy as I was at the start except you were incomparably beautiful and that's how we bonded and it wasn't because I gave up on saving myself for Candy, it's that I fell in love with you enough that you were worth giving that daydream up. We were only together for one year, really, but you gave me, we gave each other, a connection that no one else can take away.
"And Gina," I say moving closer to her, "in high school, you were my first and only girlfriend," I look over at Candy again before saying, "my first real girlfriend and gave me my first kiss" I pause and look at Candy, again, then back to Gina "You are without question one of the toughest, most loyal, most emotionally resilient people I've ever met not just of women but EVERYONE. You stuck with me after every summer after summer after summer when I was chasing Candy like an idiot and every school year you took me back. At the time, I took it for granted, but now, with 20/20 vision I don't understand why you ever did that, I didn't deserve it but I'm glad you did because I was in love with you, too. But the reason I didn't push you to have sex with me, not only because of saving myself for Candy, but because I don't think it was ever meant to be me. The person who you always chose me over, is the person that ended up being your first, this guy." I point at Kenny and then I look over at both him and Chad, "I'll get with you two guys in a second, "but Gina, I don't know about you, but you were the first girl I ever truly loved and nothing will change that.
"And I'll say to both of you, Janine and Gina," I gather them both in front of me, "you both were amazing, amazing girlfriends, but you both became even better friends. And we'll always have an emotional connection on some level but neither of you can discount the love that your men have for you. Which is why I'm glad you both felt nothing when you both kissed me." I kiss both of them on the hand one after the other, "Which brings me to you two guys," I look at Chad and Kenny, "you two are both more than best friends to me; you're both as much brothers to me as Chester is.
"Chad, when I met you in college, we were at odds because we both loved our Janine over here," I motion to Janine while looking at Chad, "but then we realized we had, sorry, have a lot in common. We were, no, we are have the same ideas and the same goals when it comes to law. We both want to cut through the bullshit and see the world for what it truly is; good or bad. I know I talk a lot about red pilling but I learned that from you. You grew up with a behavioral psychologist for a mom and the LAPD's chief detective for your dad. The red pilling you taught me, unfortunately, helped fuel my bitterness and my negativity but it's helped me more than it's harmed. and it helped to finally see things," I look at Candy again, "how they truly are."
"Okay, why do you keep looking at me like that?" Candy asks
"That's a fair question, Candy," I say, "but I'm saving you for last, so sit tight."
"And Kenny, there aren't enough words to describe what you've meant to me,," I say to him with all sincerity, "from when we were kids up until now, no one has had my back for longer than you. You and I are ride or die Kenny. I said you and Chad are like brothers to me, which is true, but Kenny if there was a word to describe a bond stronger than brothers that would be it," I pause for a second and look at Candy, again, "actually, now that I'm saying that out loud, I realize that if you're my brother and Candy is your twin sister, than in some perverse way me having a kid with her is gross, right?" everyone laughs at that except Candy of course who looks frustrated.
Now I bring Chad and Kenny closer to me just like I did Janine and Gina,
"But the two of you need to realize that as as much I cherish both of your friendships, I think you also need to both understand that I do have these emotional connections with Janine and Gina and as long as we all remain in each other's lives, which I really hope we do, those things will always be there." I give each of them a guy hug instead a kiss on the hand (obviously).
"This brings me to address all four of you together." I look at Kenny and Gina, and, Chad and Janine, "if it weren't for the four of you, I'd never get through grieving for my mother. I spent all those years feeling sorry for myself and blaming myself for her death that I was taking you all for granted. I'm sorry and I love you all. Group hug, guys." We all share an emotional hug
"And while between the four of you I have two brothers and two amazing ex-girlfriends, there's one person here that I went a step further with." I move toward Brook.
"Brook, out of everyone in here, I've hurt you the most," I say while looking deep into her eyes, getting emotional myself "and you're the one that deserved it the least. After all, we were more than just boyfriend and girlfriend, we were engaged." I say with emphasis, "We were going to get married, you were going to be my wife. As a matter of fact, I was so in love with you that I nearly forgot all about her," pointing sideways again to Candy, "that's why I never mentioned her to you, she was no longer on my radar. But when the tragedy struck my life, you did what I think a lot of us would do in the same situation, you were scared. We were both still very young and neither of us knew what we were doing. Yes, I was grieving for my mother but I should've understood why you did what you did, especially, when I did the same damn thing." I looked straight back at Candy
"We could've worked things out if I wasn't such a coward. Instead I blamed you, for five years I blamed you and let you deal with all the ridicule and judging, alone, when I was a fucking hypocrite. But there was a silver lining; the best thing that Carl ever did for me was, although indirectly, bring you back into my life this past fall. And just like I did with Janine and Gina, pining after Candy, I did the same with you, pining after Linnie, and it wasn't fair to you. You sacrificed your own happiness to help bring me and Linnie together, and I never showed you any appreciation for it. I spent so long trying to find closure for what you did to me, I was too blind and too selfish to see that you never got your closure from what I did to you; both times." I hold her face in my hand, her tears running down onto my hand and I give her a tender kiss on the cheek.
"I hope this brings you the closure you deserve. You were once my soulmate. You we-"
"Donny, shut up!" Brook interjects, "If you keep talking, I swear, I'm going to kiss you right here and right now and Spencer's here and Linnie's watching on the live stream."
"She is?" I look over and there's Craig holding his phone. Both he and Chris are recording the livestream right now, I look at the camera, "Gorgeous, I know the rest of the world is watching along with you, so I want you to stay where you are and don't move until you see me in person. I know I said Candy's last but I take that back, you are. I'm going to be flying to LA so I can do it in person. But I have more business to transact here." I begin to move toward Candy but then someone grabs the bottom of my suit jacket. It's spencer sitting on one of the desk chairs.
"I think you're forgetting someone there, thief." Spencer says
"Shut up, Spencer!" most of the room says in unison.
"No, you know what, guys, he's right." I look at Spencer, "I am a thief. I spent too long making you the villain in all this when an argument could be made for me. I stole your fiance, Spencer. I know you acted like you never cared about Linnie, actually, for you, I'll call her Carolynn because that's what you knew her by. I know your heart is as cold as ice but there's no way that even a soulless sociopath like you couldn't go that long with a girl like Carolynn and not feel anything. I saw how you were at Chad and Janine's wedding. It hurt you to see me and Carolynn together because I think you did love her, you just didn't know how to show her. Not to mention the fact that you were too distracted by wanting to rule the world." Everyone laughs
"I still do," Spencer says, standing up, "but I've come to accept that every King needs a Queen." he looks over at Brook who beams at him.
"I'm really happy you two found each other," I say to both of them, "Spencer, I think Brook is the perfect person to teach you how to love, because in many ways, I sure did. And Brook, if anyone has the patience and the resilience to teach this goofy lug how to love, it's you. I know in my heart if you give him time and the opportunity, he can be the one to teach you to never give up on love.
I turn to Candy, "I'll get to you directly in a minute, but I need to ask you; Does he know?" I look over at Naldo, my son, who's been playing with Gimble all this time, "Have you told him?"
"No, Donny, he's too young, he won't understand." Candy protests
"Does he know that Carlo isn't his father?" I ask
"I'm not sure," she says, "I think so."
"Well he's got m blood in his veins," I say, "he knows something's up. Will you translate for me so I can speak to my son for the very first time."
"Donny, no, not now, not here." she says
"Look, I'll explain why you and I were never going to work in minute," I say, "but I am his father and you gave up the right to tell me how I'm supposed to interact with my own son when you kept his existence from me for five fucking years. But I knew you'd be like this so it's a good thing when we were down in the city, we ran into my former landlord here. His name is Benny and he's Italian." Candy gives me a look of dread, "He's the one we bought the building from where Chester now lives (Neil, I know how close I was just now to revealing anything, but chill)" Candy continues to whine and protest about it.
"Candy, please, you came all this way to tell me he's my son after five years of sitting on it, and just because I've rejected you romantically doesn't mean you get to play games with my relationship with him. I'm going to be in his life whether you like it or not, Candy and he needs to know who his father is, now. Not in a couple of years, now! I'll go through any legal channel I have to, to make this happen. I'll go to fucking Italy if I have to, Candy. But I don't want to, Candy. You're his mother; the mother of my child, for God's sake and I've seen you, you're an amazing mother. After all, you saved him from a lifetime of abuse, both physical and otherwise, and you very possibly saved both your lives. There was a time that this was all I ever wanted; to have a child with you. So please, allow me this. If you're not going to translate for me then Benny will, but honestly, it's better coming from you. So will you do it, Candy?"
She tearfully nods her head in agreement, although, probably reluctantly.
I squat down and I look at my son; he's been looking at me the whole time I was talking to Candy.
"Naldo," I say, he looks right at me staring blankly, "Naldo, do you know who I am?" Candy translates my question. Naldo answers
"He says you're the man that's been kissing me one minute and yelling at me the next." Candy says everyone laughs, then Naldo says something else to Candy. Candy, Benny and even Kenny gasp
"What'd he say?" I askCandy says through an ocean of tears,
"He says," Candy pauses; I think she's crying happy tears now, she wipes them off a little, "he says, 'I guess that means you're my father.'" Now me and the whole room all gasp along with the whole world watching on the stream.
"How do you know that, Naldo?" I ask. Candy translates"He says because you look just like him and he's happy Carlo's not his father." Candy says. BTW, EVERYONE in the room has their phones out and there's a huge crowd outside the building.
"Candy," I then say in a serious tone because I realize in this moment one thing I know for sure, "please tell him, I don't know what lies ahead for your mom and me. But no matter what, no matter where you are; everything I have, everything I am, is yours now and always. I don't know much about being a father but I'm hoping you can learn with me. I love you, Naldo." Candy starts to translate but then Naldo stops her and just runs to me and gives me a big hug. Now ALL the flashbulbs are going of (so to speak).
"He didn't need to know what you said," ol' Benny says through tears of his own, "he knows what you meant."
"And now, Candy," I begin, "this is going to be as difficult for me to say as it will be for you to hear it, but I have to." I take a deep breath and I see so does she, I take her hands in mine, "yes, you were and in some ways, you still are the girl of my dreams. But I didn't really recognize it, because I didn't want to admit it; I was never going to be the boy of your dreams, I'm still not." she begins to struggle and protest. I shush her gently, "it's alright, not everyone is meant for everyone, but you need to realize that when it comes to you, especially now that you're here standing in front of me; I. Remember. Every. Thing. About. Us.
"Even before middle school, before I even knew what liking girls meant, I knew that I loved you. I would lie awake at night just thinking of ways to make you laugh and make you happy. I wanted so much to be your boyfriend more than anything. I know that people make a joke about middle school relationships but it was real, it was real to me. So in middle school when you started calling yourself my girlfriend I was so happy. Until I began to notice that you never once called me your boyfriend and you only wanted to be my girlfriend when we were in school and you only did it when we were around other girls. You never wanted to do dating things with me, like holding hands. But you were fine doing so with other boys
"And when you went off to Italy for boarding school," I said, "it broke my heart, Candy, and you knew it did. And by then you knew you had me in your thrall. I don't think you meant it to be this way but you learned to love having this hold on me. So much so that every summer during high school you would come home and you'd just give me a small hint that you'd might be into me and I would break up with Gina at the end of every school year. And we'd have these flings, you'd call them, but they weren't really flings were they. No. You would have these conditions these hoops I had to jump through to earn your affections up until the end of the summer you'd say, 'oh, I have a boyfriend back in Italy, did I mention that?'
"Then in college, while I was with Janine, I actually started to forget about you," I say, "and when you heard that I broke my virginity with someone else, you couldn't handle it, and you started video chatting me and like the moron I was would correspond with you. Sometimes, right in front of Janine." I stop and turn my head to both Gina and Janine.
"Now that I'm saying these things out loud," I say to them, "you were both amazing girlfriends while I was a horrible boyfriend. I don't know how you put up with me.
"Back to you, Candy," I say, all the while I'm still holding her hands, "you didn't stop with the video calls either. You weren't heartbroken that you weren't my first, it hurt your ego because you starting to lose your grip on me. Don't think I don't forget that you came home between freshman and sophomore year, when it was your own father's funeral, Ken Sr., you tried playing your games again and you had already been dating Carlo all that time and by the end of the summer, you told me he proposed to you over video chat and my world was shattered once again
"And then sophomore year two things happened; I meet Chad and he taught me about red pilling and I started to see your games for what they actually were; games. The other thing that happened then, I met Brook at a college party," I turn my head to Brook, "you remember that?" Brook nods her head emphatically. BTW there hasn't been a dry eye in this entire room pretty much since I started.
"Anyways, Candy," I go back to her, "I fell so in love with Brook, that I asked her to marry me. And that's when you could no longer take it anymore. You waited for tragedy to strike and though, I truly believe you really loved my mother, you came here because you had ulterior motive with me. Just like you did here, now, but I'll get to that in a moment. You couldn't stand it that I found someone I loved more than you." she starts squirming again.
"I'm sorry, Candy, but you know it's the God's honest truth. You used my grief over my mother to seduce me knowing full well that I had a fiance and you'd already been married to Carlo for two years. And, by the way, I'm just realizing this now, you never invited me to your wedding. Me and Brook invited you and Carlo to ours! But that's besides the point. You knew Carlo was sterile and he may be watching me right now and wants to wring my neck but I don't care. You knew that you'd get pregnant from me because it'll accomplish two things and one I don't really blame you for; you needed your child to have an American father so you could escape Carlo if you needed to. But more importantly this child was going to be your trump card, your hail mary, your ace in the whole, your insurance policy, your last resort that if you ever needed to you could cash it in.
"Which brings me to now, five years later. Nevermind that I missed his first birthday, his first steps, his first words, even if they were in Italian. But after awhile you forgot about me, so it didn't occur to you to tell me we had a human being together. Until Pantsuit Powderkeg, until Linnie's video, when you saw me proclaim my love to someone else and that's when you remembered me. And I'm sure you played that video over and over and saw how Linnie and I were looking at each other and knew that never in a million years would I ever look at you like that. And because you were playing it Carlo started getting suspicious didn't he? You told me he stated hitting you then because he worked out on his own that you cheated on him with me five years ago. I don't think you meant to provoke him into hitting you so you could have an excuse to get out, you're not that diabolical.
"Also, I've seen the bruises; ALL your bruises. That's not falling on a landmine, that's straight up attempted murder. And we can protect you we know people. You and Naldo can live here or in the City or wherever as long as I get to see him and I'm in his life. But as far as you and I go, no, I'm sorry. You don't love me, Candy, you never did. You never, not once, told me you loved me, when I said it to you a million times, not even now. You had the nerve to say I was abandoning our son when I was trying to convince the love of my life from leaving to the other side of the country.
"Candy, you're not a bad person, I just think when it comes to me, I'm just your play thing." I say, "and to be honest, you're drama queen."
"He's got you there, sis." says Kenny, everyone laughs again.
"I think you're really a good person and you deserve love. Love that's genuine, love that's unconditional. Hell, Spencer can find love, anyone can!."
"Hey, what's the big idea?" Spencer yells"Shut up, Spencer!" it's Naldo that squeek's it this time and we all burst out laughing, even Candy
"I think that's his first English sentence," I say and turn back to Spencer, "good job, Spencie."
"Well, now I know he has to be your son," Spencer says, "he's got your lack of respect."
I turn back to Candy, "I'll say this last thing but then I've really got to run," I say, "I've probably missed my original plane to LA but I don't care this is more important right now. It took me until today, at the cemetery, with my brother, visiting my mom, did I realize that what I felt for you was never truly love. Not the way I felt it for my three exes in here and definitely not for my soulmate in LA. What it is, what it's always been is a dream, a fantasy, an infatuation at best." then I take her hands again look her right in the eyes, "you're still my first crush, my childhood girl of my dream and most importantly, now, you're the mother of my child and you'll always have a place in my heart. You were once the girl, but you were never my girl. She's waiting for me in LA." I kiss her on the top of the head. I kneel down and hug and kiss my son and I leave through a horde of people.
After Donny leaves the building...
There's sobbing and emotion in the air. Janine breaks finally breaks the silence,
"Chad, I take it back, I'm still in love with him." she says to which her husband replies,
"don't worry, Janine, I think we all are."
ALMOST THE END
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