Jai's POV
I checked myself in the mirror one last time before heading out to the car. The powder blue jumper I had on was comfortable and loose enough to still expose my collarbones, to feature the string of pearls on my neck. Besides, it shows off the mark, Dominic will like that. Putting on a final swish of perfume I made my way out my room where Aiden was waiting.
"Ready Luna?" He asked chirpily. He looked adorable in his new uniform with a powder blue silk sash to indicate his rank as a member of the Luna's guard. "And we match!"
"Haha we do. Now where do I go?" I asked handing him him the pot I was carrying as a gift for Dominic.
"What's with the pot of mud?" He asked.
"It's a gift. My mom always told me never to go to a dinner without a gift." I poked his nose.
"Wow your mom has a lot of rules. Last time you told me your mom says weed gives you great skin."
"No..she didn't say that. And tell no one else I said that" I slapped him softly on his head.
"You're very close to your mom aren't you Luna?"
"We'll isn't everyone?"
"Yeah..." He said with a twinge of sadness in his voice. For a moment it felt like he would say something but instead he just looked at the ground and shrugged. "Yeah I guess that's true." He said chirpily.
"And we're here! Good luck!" He quipped and turned around without wasting a millisecond. I guess Dominic instils such fear in everyone that no one wants to be caught outside his cottage.
It's a nice cottage if I'm being honest. It was surrounded by the most beautiful unkempt garden, which was bit surprising because Dominic took such impeccable care of the palace gardens but his own personal property was very rustic. I could see the fire inside blazing with a sweet smell wafting in the air.
This is it. Let's see how serious this boy is.
The door was unlocked and I ventured in. The house was silent but I could smell Dominic everywhere so I just followed my instincts.
"Hello?"
"In here."
I followed him into an office which was lined with cedar wood and reeked of whiskey. There was a leather chair in the room right next to the fireplace. Dominic sat on a big ornately decorated throne across a large table, in a black shirt. His hair was slicked back like one of the guys in Peaky Blinders and with a neatly trimmed beard. He swerved a glass of whiskey in his hand with his shirt burgeoning under the weight of his muscles. His eyes were black like a raven with a particularly ominous look.
He looks hot. Pissed off, but hot.
"Thanks for coming." He said not getting up from his seat but setting his drink down on the table.
Underage drinking. I wouldn't be mad if he gave it up.
"Ummm thanks for inviting me. This is for you." I said showing him the pot.
"Thanks. You can keep it on the table."
What's with the cold shoulder?
"I got you something as well. It's by the window."
I turned around to look at the window behind me. Under it was a super-sized plushie of a Himalayan Red Panda! It was so cute, replete with markings and super cute eyes. I rushed to it and hugged it, it was so soft and fluffy. More than anything it reminded me of Moti, the Red Panda I had nursed back to help during my Omega training in the Himalayas. She was a wee thing when I found her, left by her mother due to a heart murmur. She was so precocious and lively and followed me around on her little paws. Whenever I was training in the forest she'd jump out of the trees to surprise me. Each night she'd cuddle right next to me as I sat out the snowstorms in the temple. Sharing my food with her, picking flowers, berries and fruits. Leaving her behind was the toughest thing I ever had to do when my parent came to get me after my training. Tears started flowing from my eyes as I hugged it closer.
"Thank you." I stared at him through my tear-filled eyes.
"Come here." He said softly beckoning me to him.
I walked over and took his hand. He pulled me onto his lap and kissed me. His breath was laced with whiskey but I liked it. His hands were so soft, under my jumper and held me so delicately that it was actually making me emotional.
I'm tired of fighting him. I have to move on, I need to free myself of this constant turmoil. I'll be the first to say I haven't been the easiest to get along with. I've been been running from showing any vulnerability because I was afraid If I show him that I can unravel in his hands, he'll pull me apart thread by thread.
His gift reminded me of how simple my life used to be, how simple it COULD be. I went in deeper for the kiss and ran my hand through his hair, breathing in his fiery scent. He held my chin and directed me to turn my head and kissed my mark, and for the first time I let him. I just gathered my hands and played with his collar, letting him know I will obey.....I will....
Before I could complete my train of thought, he slammed me into the table, holding onto my neck tightly almost crushing my windpipe. I tried to undo his grip with my hands but no matter how much I struggled I couldn't help it. I flailed in pain but all I could see in his eyes was fury, blinding hot fury.
"I love you Jai, I truly do but at this point you've caused me too many problems. I wonder if having a mate is even worth it?" He spat, pushing my chin up with his thumb so I couldn't look at him.
"Dom.....i...."
"I don't care if you insult me or spurn me as long as you do it in the confines of our bedroom. But you've undermined my authority in front of my Beta. You have compromised the safety of the pack. I had to threaten Sebastian to buy his loyalty back."
"Gluggg...." I shook as spit accumulated by the side of my mouth and spots danced in my eyes. I could feel my body writhing in pain from a lack of oxygen.
"All this for what? So you could tie me up? I'd have done that willingly if only you had asked."
"Nnnnuuuhhhh" I choked.
I suddenly felt the pressure be released from my throat and air quickly rush into my tired respiratory tract. I coughed and took deep breathes as the urgency to breath in my body passed over me. Before I could fully recover, Dominic sat me back up to face him, looking directly in his eyes. His eyes were red and had a film of wetness over his orbs. His expression was one of extreme hurt and betrayal, which was eating at me.
"That's...not..why...." I managed to push out while massaging my neck with both hands, as Dominic had his hand over the small of my back keeping my upper half erect.
"Then why did you do it?"
"I wanted...you to feel...what I had felt."
"Which is what?"
I coughed up once more and took in a few more deep breathes to finally calm my burning muscles down.
"Pain.."
The silence in the room hung like thick smog, permeating and rotting every surface it could attach itself it. I felt the nervous energy in the room, like a dynamite about to explode.
...
"You think I don't feel pain?"
"No you don't." I laughed. Like seriously this was so hilarious it made my sides hurt. Dominic Varela feeling pain was as outlandish as a flying pig.
"If you felt pain, then you'd listen."
"Listen to what? You didn't say anything to me."
"BECAUSE I KNOW YOU WOULDNT LISTEN!" I froze up where I was. Nyx's voice echoed through my brain. His pain and hurt washed over me again. That feeling of isolation, being choked under someone's thumb. Giving someone control without having a fail safe to get out of the situation.
"I've been with you enough lifetimes to know. It's either Darius' way or the noose. There's no way out." I chuckled again wiping my nose with my sleeve. My predicament was such that I could do nothing but laugh...at myself. For ever thinking that I would be able to break out of this, or that he'd ever understand.
The same cycle was repeating itself. It's so easy to give up control, to believe that gestures mean substantive changes and commitments. I was so stupid to think that spending one heat with him can be the cornerstone of my decision to choose him.
He tensed his jaw, exposing his frustration. Begrudgingly, he let me go and I sat myself on his office table. I saw him wipe the tears from his eyes before he looked straight at me. I could tell this wasn't Dominic anymore but Darius, who had completely taken over. I could feel his aura surround the room, driving away the earlier tension. It made me relaxed just being near him.
I breathed in his scent, like steam in a spa which felt rejuvenating. I reclined backwards as I felt him push his way between my legs and slowly closing the distance between us. Soon I was full prostrate and he hovered over me, grabbing my hip to cage my legs around his waist and nuzzled my tummy, making me whimper. His touch felt so comforting, it took down all my defenses yet made me feel safe. I just closed my eyes and relished his closeness.
If he has THAT much power over, that he can reduce me to mush by simply looking at me, why didn't he use it before?
I felt his nose in the crook of my neck, perilously close to his mark. I put my hands against his chest but as usual his hard pecs aap any force out of my palms and leave them holding onto him for dear life. He took a deep long sniff from my scent glands, which felt cool making me shiver a bit.
"Ever since you've come here you've been running from me. I try to hold you and you act revolted. You spurn me. You fight me. Do you even know how much it burns when you reject me?"
His voice was calm and sans any emotion but his words cut me deep. I turned my face away from him as conflicting emotions rose in my heart. I felt guilty, I felt like I had to apologise. I SHOULD apologise. All the righteous confidence I had was slowly dissipating as all I could do was swallow. Both my spit and my pride.
"Do you know how it feels? To have the one person, who's supposed to love you refuse to even touch you? Hmm?" He said softy into my ear, using his one hand to softly massage my hair and the other to hold my arms in place.
I bit my lip in response trying to hold back a sob as I felt goosebumps rise on every part of my body. The sinking feeling I felt earlier now erupted into full blown sadness that weighed heavily on my heart.
No I didn't now what it felt like to have a mate give up on me. Because my mate never had. No matter how much I tried to run away, he kept wanting me. Belligerently so. But I had been rejecting him, hurting him. I was a bad mate. I was a bad omega to hurt my alpha. I should've just given in. I want to submit. So badly.
I turned my head back toward him and licked his jaw. Trying to ease his pain, trying to offer my supplications for my unruly behaviour. I keened pathetically to let him know how sorry I was.
"You've been such a bad boy haven't you?"
I didn't reply but lowered my gave to look at his neck. I just lifted my head from the table and kissed his temple and nuzzled his dark raven coloured curls.
"Use your words, Jai"
"Ye..yes" I managed to weakly speak into his hair, not wanting to leave the warm comfort of his skin. I silently sobbed as the hurt at my actions became too much to bear.
"Shhhh" he cooed as he lifted me up by my hips and sat down on his throne and pulled me on his lap. I sank into his arms, resting my head against his much larger chest. My breathing calmed a little bit as kissed the top of my head. I fiddled with his shirt buttons to release some of my anxiety.
"What did you want me to listen to?"
This was it. What I always wanted. The chance to make him realise all the hurt his need to control makes me feel. I didn't want to cry at this moment. I wanted to be coherent yet spiteful. I wanted to list all the things that had happened to home. Drop the weight of all that pain on him. To come out with a clean balance sheet of every transgression I wanted to get revenge for. But the thing about pain is, once you poke it with a stick it engulfs you and you go through it again.
"Please don't make me go into it right now." I expressed honestly. I simply didn't have the strength to explain everything to him right now.
"You can't avoid it forever Jai."
"Just...not today. Please." I pulled him closer by his shirt and shoving my head into his chest, like an ostrich which buries its head underground to avoid any problems it might be facing. Sensing my anxiety, Darius just hugged me close and dropped the matter.
"Exact all the vengeance you want from me, but do not involve the pack into it." He said softly but sternly. "Is that clear?" I nodded.
"C'mon let's have dinner." He said gently setting me down and rising from his seat and leading me by hand to the dining room.
*DING*
My phone vibrated indicating an incoming message.
I pulled it out and what I saw on the screen was to be the worst possible message I could've received in my life.
Mom ❤️: Jai it's Rishi.
Mom❤️: He's in the hospital.