Side-Story: 10 - What if...? - Part 3
Cassian
We turned 17 and I couldn't even describe how happy I was. Our relationship was wonderful.
We kinda changed rule number two after a few months of only making out and being in need of release. It wasn't like we had sex. Not at all. We just took off our shirts and touched our skins.
Rule number two: No sex or interaction beneath the waistline.
But that rule didn't stop us from rubbing against another. Just like we had done a little while ago.
Right now we were lying in Kyran's bed and cuddled after making out. He was snoozing off and I petted through his fluffy hair.
Our parents were obviously surprised when we suddenly 'made up' and were friends again. Still they didn't intervene and just left us alone. They were happy and probably thought that we finally fixed our broken Alpha-Beta-relationship.
Well, we had fixed it but not in a way they would have wanted.
Ellinor backed us up when we needed it and Caleb too - obviously. He was like a happy ball of sunlight now that he could spend more time with his brother again.
He could have done it before too, I always told him he should prioritize his brother over me but he refused. Refused, even though I always saw how difficult it was for him. I still felt guilty about it.
Quietly Kyran grumbled and rubbed his nose against my chest.
»Awake?« I asked gently and pushed his hair out of his face. He scrunched his nose and squinted up to me.
I instantly noticed his kinda blurry eyes and frowned. »Everything okay?«
Why was his face so flushed?
It shouldn't be my first reaction, after all, we from the upper ranks couldn't get sick, but I touched his forehead with my palm. Hot.
He was almost burning.
»Kyran?« Did he... Did he have a fever? How?
»Yes?« he mumbled and frowned hard. »My head hurts...« He winced and touched the side of his head before squeezing his eyes shut.
Panic filled me. »Should I get your father?«
Quickly he shook his head. »N-No. It'll surely pass.«
Would it? I wasn't sure. And I was scared.
Minutes passed. I helped him drink some water and we waited. Only after half an hour the headache seemed to fade and his temperature dropped to a normal degree.
We stayed quiet about what had happened.
Days passed and we were in school. Well, school had just ended and now I would go with Kyran to his swim training. I was allowed to watch when we had something to do afterwards and it gave me many opportunities to watch him half naked. He always teased me about it.
Just today, he was strangely quiet. Carefully I gazed at him but he only stared straight ahead with a blank expression.
»Are you okay? You're awfully quiet today.« He blinked confused and nodded. »Yeah, only a bit absent minded.«
A bit much absent minded if he asked me.
I had the urge to lace our fingers together but we had the rule to not touch the other in public. Both of us followed that rule strictly. After all, if we did, rule number one could get in our way and we would get in much bigger problems.
I went straight to the pool while Kyran and his team changed.
After about 10 minutes they arrived and started their warm-up. I would be lying if I said I wasn't drooling. Fuck, he looked hot.
They started to swim a few lanes and then battled a bit in speed. Kyran was always the quickest swimmer but today something seemed to be wrong. He seemed slow and disoriented.
Bewildered, I frowned and got up from my seat when he grabbed the edge of the pool and pulled his body out of the water.
»You good, champ?« the Coach asked and Kyran just waved dismissively. »Just a little toilet break,« Kyran rasped between breaths and struggled to go to the changing room.
That wasn't just a toilet break. I noticed his trembling body right away.
Quickly I followed after him.
»Kyran?« I looked into the cabin but he wasn't there. »Kyran, where are you?«
I listened and heard his gasps coming from a toilet cabin in the bathroom. »Kyran?« I asked again and knocked on the door. He didn't answer but I was able to open the door because he hadn't locked it.
He was sitting on the ground, his back against a wall of the toilet cabin. His hand grasped against his chest over his heart. His chest went up and down, up and down, up and down - too quickly.
Blurry he looked up to me. »I-I can't« - he gasped again, loudly - »breath...«
Panic filled me and I fell on my knees next to him. »What should I do?«
I heard you should breathe into a paper bag but I had no bag with me. His eyes were wide but seemed to lose more and more power to stay open. He was losing consciousness.
Shit.
It wasn't a panic attack. I was sure it wasn't one. He seriously couldn't breathe. Were his lungs collapsing? What was happening?
»T-Try breathing in and out. Try with me,« I said in panic. Okay, I was the one getting a panic attack.
»In.« I breathed in. »Out.« I breathed out. »Try with me,« I said. »Please.«
His eyes were fluttering and I wasn't even sure if he still heard me.
»In.«
But he breathed in with me or at least he tried. He was grabbing my hand and squeezing it tightly. I winced at the might he grabbed me with but I didn't pull away.
»Out.«
His chest fell in a tremble and we started from the beginning.
Minutes passed. My other hand checked his pulse which slowly calmed down.
His eyes were shut but he was breathing evenly. »Kyran?« He made a quiet sound which made me know he was awake.
»Let's change your clothes and I'll carry you home.« And then we would talk to his father. Because this wasn't normal. Something was wrong.
First the heat that seemed like a fever a few days ago and now this.
I carried him to the changing room and helped him change. I didn't look down when I changed his pants. Even if I would have taken a look right now it wouldn't have mattered. His condition worried me too much.
After being sure he wouldn't collapse, I went to the Coach and told him we would go home because Kyran ate something wrong.
I carried him on my back to his home and when we arrived, I saw his father in the driveway.
»Cassian? What's wrong?«
Kyran didn't say anything and I was sure he fell asleep or really lost consciousness.
»It's urgent. It would be best if we drive to the hospital or talk inside first,« I said tensely.
»Hospital? Is something wrong with Kyran?« I nodded and he must have seen the panic and fear in my eyes because he helped me put Kyran into his car before we drove off.
I sat next to Kyran on the backseat and his head was lying on my shoulder. »So, what happened? Wouldn't Kyran be still at his training?«
I nodded and met his blue eyes through the mirror.
»We just were there but Kyran got out of the pool and something seemed to be wrong. I followed him to the toilet and he couldn't breathe. It wasn't a panic attack. Like, he really couldn't breathe. And... a few days ago, he had a fever and a headache for a bit. It went away after a few minutes but...«
»Something isn't right.«
»Yes...«
We arrived at the hospital. Kyran was still sleeping and he was, even after the first examinations were finished. For more, he needed to wake up, so he got a room and I waited next to his bed.
It was concerning. Not just that, I was fucking scared.
Whatever was going on with him wasn't normal. Could it be my fault? Our fault? Were we punished for being together?
I didn't want to think about it. But I couldn't pull my thoughts away from it.
What if we were really punished for loving each other?
He had confessed his love a few weeks into our relationship. At first I was scared that he wouldn't return my love and only wanted to try out being together with someone. But he told me - embarrassed and guilty - that he wasn't sure if I was serious about this and he wanted to confirm it before confessing too.
And I wasn't angry at all.
I had ignored him for years. As children, our parents put us in a room and we fought. I fucking broke his arm. I still hated myself for doing that.
After he came out, I bullied him for a few weeks but then ignored him again. He was in the right to confirm it first before giving me the gift of his love.
Kyran's expression twisted and I noticed how his face blushed again. Sweat was running down his forehead.
Worried I touched his skin and felt him burning up again. Shit.
I called for a nurse and waited. He slowly woke up, blinking a few times, before focusing his eyes on me.
»Hey, sweetheart,« I whispered and he smiled weakly.
»What happened?« he croaked hoarsely. For a moment I thought he was choking because he grimaced strangely but then he sneezed loudly and surprised me even more.
Both of us stared at each other before he sneezed again and again.
»We...« I gasped for air. »We need a nurse or a doctor! Someone!« Panic filled me and I ran outside to drag someone here if necessary.
Sneezing wasn't bad or horrifying. But in this case it shook me to the bone. Kyran couldn't catch a cold. He wasn't able to.
He was a Beta and not an Omega or human.
His father and doctor Taylor quickly came to me and I pointed at Kyran's room. My panic obviously showed on my face. I didn't even need a mirror, I just knew.
Because whatever was happening with him just couldn't be normal. Not at all. And I was fucking scared to lose him. Whatever told me, I had the feeling I was about to lose him.
I wanted to follow after Tristan but he stopped me in the doorframe. »You should go home, Cassian.«
My eyes widened. »What? No, I-«
»You should go home. Now. Kyran or I will call you as soon as we know something new. Right now, you can do nothing.«
I knew I couldn't do anything! I just wanted to be there. Wanted to stay with him. Wanted to stay with the man I loved and wanted to feel a little bit less scared.
But I couldn't tell him that.
In his eyes, I was just Kyran's friend. Not his boyfriend. Not his mate.
I had no right to be here.
I clenched my hands to fists and looked to the ground. »Please,« I pleaded again. Tears filling my eyes now.
»Cassian, go!«
I winced. He had used his Beta-voice. His authority as the leader - after my father. And even though I was higher in rank as the heir to the pack, I followed his order.
I didn't dare to look back and I didn't stop crying.
I just ran away. Left the hospital and ran to the woods and transformed. Ran and ran. Further and further until I arrived home. And I buried myself in my bed. Put my notification sound on full volume and stayed there.
I took a look at my phone every minute but there wasn't any news for almost three hours.
I was just about to get up and run back to the hospital, when my phone made a sound. Quickly I opened the message.
[Kyran]: I'm fine. I have something like a fever and caught a cold. But I'm fine. Doctor Taylor put me in a quarantine for now but we can call if you want. Video Call.
His message didn't reassure me at all.
I didn't answer his message but I pushed the call button. Just seconds later his feverish face filled my screen.
He was white as a sheet and sweat covered his face. Though we had just seen each other a few hours ago, dark shadows were under his eyes.
»Hey,« I mumbled worriedly and furrowed my eyebrows. »Hey,« came back. His voice was even worse than before.
»You don't sound and look fine at all.« He smiled weakly and nuzzled himself deeper into his pillow. In the background of his screen I could see a dripping infusion. I had no idea what it was but it was entering Kyran's body through a tube.
»True. I lied a bit,« he whispered. »You didn't stay?«
»Your father kicked me out. But I assume I can't visit you if you're in quarantine.«
He nodded and I felt terrible. What was happening?
»You, Cas. I'm a bit sleepy and my throat hurts. Can I call you tomorrow again? I'm sorry for wanting to hang up so quickly but-«
»No, sweetheart, no. Sleep. You really need it. I understand. I'll text you tomorrow morning, okay? And after school I'll call you?«
He nodded and already closed his eyes. »Wait... No, don't hang up. Talk to me about something. Just anything. I want to listen to your voice.«
And I did as he wished. I talked about many things. A show I started watching. Something I had found in the woods while taking a walk. Some stranger on the internet who was annoying in an open-world-game. And more.
He quickly fell asleep but I talked a bit longer. I did until I was sure he really was sleeping.
I couldn't see his face, just a little shadow of it because he had put his phone next to his head to listen to my voice. And after a few hours of one-sidedly talking, I fell asleep too with my phone next to my head.
Falling asleep to his rough breathing.