"Patty.." Aika gently called out to Tricia.
"Ate...what time is it?" Tricia's eyes were still hurting from crying the whole night.
"9 am...do you want something to eat? I heard from your colleagues that you haven't eaten anything since yesterday morning." Aika was worried about her sister.
"I'm not hungry." Tricia hugged the stuffed toy on her bed. It was the mango stuffed toy that Jayden won for her.
"Not even these?" Jill entered the room with a plate of pandesals, her birthday present.
"I don't even know if he's alive..." Tricia had cried herself dry, there weren't tears left to shed.
"Alex? Do you have any updates on Jayden?" Tricia asked the second she picked up the call from Alex.
"I'm sorry Doc Tricia, but I promise that we're doing everything we can. We want Jayden back as much as you do." Alex was equally anxious and desperate.
"I'm sorry I can't be of any help..." Tricia hated that she couldn't do anything.
"Actually, Sir wanted me to call you because of Lola..." Tricia could hear the hesitance in Alex's voice.
"Lola...does she know?" Tricia was so absorbed in her own emotions, she forgot about Lola.
"About that...Sir was thinking that you'd be the best person to tell Lola." Alex sighed.
"Where is Lola now?" Tricia got off her bed immediately, much to Aika and Jill's surprise.
"Staying at Det Torres' house. Tita Ella is there, she'll be waiting for you." Alex informed.
"I'll head there now. Thanks, Alex." Tricia hung up and started pulling clothes out of her closet.
"Where are you going?" Aika held Tricia's hand.
"To talk to Lola. She doesn't know that Jayden's missing yet..." Tricia wasn't sure how she was going to tell Lola either.
"Do you want us to come with you?" Aika offered. Emotional support was the only thing the Robredos could offer.
"We'll be here with you." Jill side-hugged Tricia.
"Tricia? What brings you here?" Lola Agnes was surprised to see Tricia and her sisters at the door.
"I have something to tell you, Lola. About Jayden." Tricia took a deep breath.
"Apo? Is he okay?" Lola knew something was up. In fact, she had a bad sensing ever since yesterday.
"There was an explosion, and when the team got there, Jayden was gone. They've lost contact with him." Tricia had delivered countless bad news as a physician, but nothing hurt more than this.
"Lola!" The Robredo sisters caught Lola Agnes as her legs gave way.
"Apo...Apo's alive, di ba?" Lola gripped Tricia's hands tightly. Just a day ago, Tricia was holding onto Sabrina the same way.
"I...Hindi ko po alam, Lola. No one does." Tricia felt herself hesitate for a moment before telling Lola the the truth.
"Apo..." Lola felt her head spin and vision blur. Seconds later, her world turned black.
"Ate Aiks, I need a pillow or something to elevate Lola's legs. Jill, I need some space. Ate Ella, can I get some water for when Lola wakes up?" Tricia jumped into her doctor mode upon seeing Lola unconscious from shock.
"Lola, can you hear us?" Tricia called out softly as Lola's eyes slowly opened after a minute.
"What...what happened?" Lola Agnes found herself lying on the couch with Ella, Aika, Tricia and Jill staring worriedly at her.
"You fainted, Lola." Jill handed Lola Agnes a glass of water.
"Daniel promised that he and the team are doing everything he can to find Jayden. Jayden will be fine. He's a fighter." Ella assured both Lola Agnes and Tricia.
"He left this with Mr Ortega...Here..." Tricia pulled Jayden's ID necklace out of her pocket and placed it in her palm.
"Keep it with you." Lola placed her hand over Tricia's and closed up the latter's palm, burying the necklace in Tricia's hand.
"Pero..." Tricia was confused.
"Apo would want you to have it." Lola assured Tricia with a smile.
"Ate Ella, is Lola going to continue staying here?" Tricia wondered. Without Jayden around, Lola was alone.
"You can stay with us as long as you need, Lola. We have plenty of space." Ella offered. She and Det Torres had no intention of leaving Lola Agnes alone either.
"I shouldn't bother you guys anymore..." Lola Agnes grimaced. Ella looked at Tricia for help.
"Jayden would want you to be safe, Lola. You have Joshua here too. I'm sure he'll love having you around." Tricia tried to convince Lola.
"Tricia's right, Lola. Stay with us?" Ella asked again, smiling when Lola Agnes nodded.
"I'll come visit whenever I'm off duty but is there anything else I can do?" Tricia wanted to be here for Lola. She knew Jayden would be worried about Lola.
"Trish, come here...Apo will come back, he will." Lola Agnes held Tricia in her arms and comforted her. Lola Agnes could see through the strong front Tricia was trying to put up.
"I'm scared, Lola. I'm really scared." Tricia held tried to hold back, but Lola Agnes had hit a nerve. Ella, Aika and Jill could only look on with empathy.
~
"Doc Tricia? Why are you back?" Nurse Rose was surprised to see Tricia at the ER the day after.
"It's better to keep myself busy, Nurse Rose. Please let me work? I promise I won't let my emotions get the better of me." Tricia knew that an idle mind was the devil's workshop.
"I'm attaching Doc Justin to you. No buts." Nurse Rose paged for the intern.
"Doc Tricia!" Justin waved excitedly to Tricia, whose wave back wasn't as cheerful.
"You know what to do. Both of you. Now go." Nurse Rose shooed the both of them away. The ER was exceptionally busy today.
"Are you feeling better now, Doc Tricia?" Justin bent his head so he see Tricia's expression.
"I guess so. Thanks. And sorry that you have to follow me around." Tricia was slightly guilty.
"I'm more than happy to shadow you." Justin grinned. Tricia gave Justin a tiny smile before handing him a pair of gloves.
"Is that the last patient we're in charge of?" Tricia checked with Justin.
"For now, yes. Do you want to grab lunch?" Justin looked at his watch.
"You go ahead, I'm not hungry." Tricia couldn't even remember the last time she said something like this.
"Not even a sandwich and coffee?" Justin tried again.
"I'm good. Go have your lunch, really." Tricia patted Justin on the arm. Giving Tricia one last glance, Justin reluctantly went for his break.
"Doc Tricia, have you had lunch?" Nurse Rose checked in on Tricia.
"I had a coffee just now." Tricia avoided Nurse Rose's eyes.
"Have one of these. I can't have you fainting." Nurse Rose had expected the answer and pulled out an energy bar from her pocket.
"Salamat po." Tricia obediently took a bite into the bar. Nurse Rose was right.
~
"Tricia, you're early today." Lola Agnes was surprised to see the doctor enter the bakery early. Lola had managed to convince Det Torres to let her reopen the bakery and return home every now and then.
"The doctor taking over came early. Let me help you..." Tricia put her duffel down and started helping Lola clean the shelves.
"You've been spending every other day with me after work. Are you resting enough?" For the last 3 weeks, Tricia had made it a point to spend alternate evenings with Lola Agnes.
"Having one of your pandesals with coffee every evening is rest to me." Tricia smiled.
"You can have as many as you like. You've gotten so skinny recently... Have you been eating?" Lola frowned. Tricia was slim to begin with, but her once-rounded cheeks were now totally gone.
"Don't worry about me, Lola. I'm a doctor, remember?" It wasn't that Tricia was purposely skipping her meals, food just wasn't as tempting as it used to be.
"I found this on Apo's desk..." Lola pulled out a thick journal with a rainbow on the cover. It was the one Tricia gifted Jayden.
"He still writes in this?" Tricia took the journal and flipped through the pages.
"He writes in this almost every night. He said it was his first promise to you." It was the first time Lola had seen Jayden journal. Every night, Lola would see Jayden scribbling in the book before going to bed.
"I gave this to him even before we started dating..." Tricia noticed that the pages were filled to the brim and post-it pads were littered on many pages. Despite that, the journal was in pristine condition.
"In the time I wasn't home, the house changed a little bit..." Lola was a little surprised when she stepped into Jayden's room.
"How so?" Tricia was curious. She hadn't been over in a while either.
"This was Apo's room..." Lola showed Tricia a picture of Jayden's room. Pictures of Tricia and Jayden decorated Jayden's once-minimalist bedroom.
"You know, Apo always used his job as an excuse whenever I pushed him to get a girlfriend. But you were the first one he put before his job, Tricia." Lola held Tricia's hands.
"Alam ko, Lola." Tricia knew better than anyone else.
"Everytime he leaves for a dangerous mission, I have to promise him something. That if he never returns, I will continue living on." Lola remembered the countless times she promised her grandson. It was the most painful promise she had to make in the decades she'd lived.
"But he returned everytime." Lola sighed. This was the longest that Jayden had ever gone without any news.
"And he will this time." Tricia refused to believe otherwise.
"If...If he doesn't, I know he'll want you to move on with your life." Lola smiled wistfully. It was a conversation she wish she didn't need to have.
"Jayden and I, we promised to do that together. Get married, adopt Kaela and live together as a family..." Tricia couldn't imagine spending her life with someone else other than Jayden.
"I'm saying if. If Apo is really gone, he'd want you to be happy. He'd want you to move on with your life, find someone who loves you and have a family of your own." Lola knew Jayden would share the same sentiments as her.
"I'll wait for Jayden. As long as there's no news, I believe he'll come back to us." Tricia shut her eyes to stop herself from crying.
"I'm not saying he won't. I want Apo back as well. But I don't want you to put your entire life on hold if he doesn't." Lola knew she sounded harsh but she was saying all these out of love for Tricia. She was Jayden's lola but she loved Tricia as much.
"Don't lose hope. But if one day, you find yourself losing even the last ounce of strength from holding on, perhaps it's time to let go. It's not always good to hold on too tight, Tricia." Lola stroked Tricia's back as the doctor cried in her arms.
Apo...forgive Lola for saying this to Tricia. But I know you want her to be happy as well.
A/N:
cries...