Donatella:
Over the next couple of weeks, I get comfortable with the new routine.
Evening sessions with Darius, which are basically no longer about the project. Around a third of them we actually do work. Spending my lunch periods at his table or with him and his friends.
It feels like a new normal. Though, that little voice in the back of my head keeps coming up and telling me not to get my hopes up. To just wait and see. Perhaps this adjustment is just temporary. Maybe it will end when the project is over. Or maybe he even pities me because I told him I didn't have any friends.
I've always been one to look more on the positive side of things, however.
I'm beginning to feel like I know him a little better. The new him, that is. Because one thing is for sure.
He is not the same boy that I remember.
Well, of course not, but you know what I mean.
There are some similarities. But other things are different. Very different.
Take his... promiscuity, for example.
Whenever I'm with him, he's either being approached by girls who want his number, which he gives without protest. Or, if he's with some of his friends, they tease him for such actions.
I'm not oblivious. I've known that he was a player as soon as rumours started years ago. He'd be seen with a different girl almost every week.
But it's just different to watch it up close. To realise how much he's changed.
Not that what he's doing is a bad thing.
Just, a curious thing.
I can't imagine giving myself to so many people without the possibility of something real.
I can't fathom giving my body and soul to someone who doesn't truly want it. Who won't take care of them.
Personally, I want to be loved.
I want someone to care for me. To enjoy my company. To like me for who I am and be sure that I'm enough for them.
God, do I just want to be enough for someone. To mean something.
To be worth remembering.
Ugh, I'm going back there again.
Optimistic thoughts, Donatella.
I blow out a breath and glance in Darius's direction to see him with the tip of his pen pressed to his lips and his eyes focused on his phone. It's a Wednesday and we're at The Jade Palace for another session. Surprisingly, this is one of the nights where we're actually focusing on the project.
I certainly understand why he gets so much female attention.
Looking at him now, and in general, really, I can't help but be aware of how beautiful he is.
His hair is thick and dark and a few strands fall onto his forehead, no doubt causing girls to want to brush them back. His obsidian eyes are endless and framed by long lashes most girls must be jealous of. His lips are full and pink and behind them are a set of straight, white teeth, which paired together create a killer smile. His skin is clear, unblemished. And he has sharp cheekbones that sit high on his perfectly sculpted face.
And if his looks weren't enough, he's also a hockey player. A great one, at that. Already having college and literal NHL scouts fighting for him, which I've learned from not only his friends but also from his not so subtle yet infrequent gloating.
Though, I'm sure that that arrogance has its own appeal, too.
"You need something?"
I blink out of my internal thoughts and realise that I've been unintentionally staring at him for a little too long.
"Sorry. I think I'm getting tired."
He checks the time on his phone. "We don't have long left. You want me to take you home?"
That's another thing that has changed. Now, when I come here, instead of anh Hoàng coming back to take me home, Darius does so instead.
"Do you mind?"
"You ask me that every time, sweetheart. And my answer is always the same. You know what it is."
"Thank you." I smile and we begin to put our things away.
Once we're in his car, he starts up the engine, the sound echoing into the night.
He taps onto his phone a few times before placing it onto the charger and a rumble erupts from the speakers as music starts to play.
I flick my eyes to the screen and read the name. COFFIN by PLVTINUM.
As we drive through the streets, I lay my head to the side and try my best not to close my eyes.
I'm exhausted today. After practice, I was barely able to go to the cafe.
To stop myself from falling asleep, though this song is hardly soothing, I look out of the window and count how many street lamps we pass.
Once we arrive at my house, I know that I should get out of the car but my body protests, having gotten comfortable.
"You okay, darling?"
A new song plays now. Mind Games by Sickixk. He turns it down so that it doesn't drown out all other noises. I attempt to use the still deep bass to urge my consciousness alive so that I can answer him. But I think that all I can manage is heavy blinking as I fight myself against the pull of sleep.
I turn my head to him and just stare.
He waits for my answer but when I don't provide one, he furrows his brows. Unbuckling his seatbelt and bending to look me in the eyes.
"Donatella."
My name sounds so nice coming from him. It's powerful and soft at the same time as it rolls of of his tongue. It's like velvet.
The lights in the car automatically turn off and we're left in the darkness.
The lanterns from outside of my house are on, however. And they shine little beams into the car, casting a glow to his bottomless eyes.
"Hm?" I hum quietly.
He's so close. Our faces only inches apart.
Unusual thoughts float into my brain. Thoughts like, I wonder what it'd be like to kiss him, right now.
I'm not sure why they're there. Why now. But I think I'd be lying if I said that they aren't appealing. In this moment, at least.
A new sheen enters through the glass of the windows and now the moon has come out to keep us company. Bathing Darius's face in an iridescent luminosity.
I see him clearer now. And I track the direction of his gaze as it travels down to my mouth.
He licks his bottom lip and then his eyes return to mine.
His hand comes up, brushing his thumb over my own lips and they part on their own accord.
But just as I think he might do something, like replace his thumb with his mouth, he releases a sigh.
I feel the loss of his hand as he drops it and undoes my seatbelt. The click sparks some life back into me and some of the weariness washes away.
He unwraps it from my body, letting it snap back into place on my other side. Then, he spins and gets out of the car.
Seconds later, my door opens and he takes my hand right away. Not offering his own. His movements aren't rough, though. They're gentle. Slightly rigid.
He helps me out of the car and walks me, with another hand on my spine, to the entrance of my home.
One of the large doors open, revealing a maid, who glances at us with curious eyes.
He leans over to hand her... my bag? I didn't even notice him picking it up.
"She's tired." He states, voice low and gravely. "Make sure she gets into bed safely."
The maid nods and gestures for someone to come along. Another woman comes over and extends her hand.
I move my head to the side and then raise it up to look at Darius.
I blink a couple times and then open my mouth. "Bye bye."
He swiftly flicks his eyes to my lips again before righting his attention.
"Bye, little ballerina." I feel a single brush of his fingers against my back. "Sweet dreams."
The maid guides me into her arms and I watch as he turns and leaves.
I think they will be.