#% ILLIAD MOON <3 !!!
i glance between yeonjun and hyunjin some more. they stare right back at me. i can feel penny's eyes burning holes into the back of my head before i open my mouth.
"hi" i breathe out a breath i didn't even know i was holding in.
"hi" hyunjin's confused face melts slightly and a small smile forms on his once stoic face.
"you know this guy?" yeonjun asks looking back at hyunjin, his eyebrows are stitched together. "that's hyunjin" penny cuts me off before i can even say anything.
hyunjin looks over to her and i turn around to look at my best friend. well actually, i try to shoot her a glare but she doesn't catch it, her eyes are fixed on hyunjin.
she walks forward and bows slightly to the older male. "hi i'm penny, big fan, so glad to meet you" she talks faster than i've ever heard her talk before. "uh, thank you" hyunjin awkwardly bows back to her.
"well, uh," penny looks back at me before looking over at yeonjun, "yeonjun, let's let them have their space for a second. it seems like they need to talk."
penny grabs onto yeonjun and drags him towards the living room. "but-" he starts but penny cuts him off quickly.
"it was so nice meeting you! have a goodnight hyunjin!" penny says as she drags yeonjun from hyunjin and i. i can hear them start to argue but it gets fainter the farther they get away.
i turn back to hyunjin and he's already looking at me.
"we'll talk outside" i say and he nods, taking a step back so i can meet him outside on the porch.
i notice that it's raining but the awning above us covers us so we don't get wet. well at least i don't get wet, i can see from his short walk over that his dark hoodie had gotten a little damp with the rain that fell.
"what's going on?" i ask and he looks down at me.
"who's that?" he asks me, playing dumb, and i raise an eyebrow at him. "yeonjun?" i ask and he nods. "well, uh, yeonjun," i repeat, "and the girl is penny, sorry about her."
"she talks fast" he says and i laugh in response, nodding.
"yeah, she reminds me of jisung a lot, she just rambles and rambles until she gets tired and eventually knocks herself out" i say and my words earn a laugh from his tall body.
"why is he here?" hyunjin asks, putting emphasis on the word 'he'. his words make my head tilt to the side. "why is he here?" i repeat his question and he nods in response.
"oh, uh, just visiting" i shrug and he raises an eyebrow. "he just saw you" hyunjin says, looking at the closed door to the side of us.
"well yeah, but, i don't know, they wanted to come! they surprised me" i say, a smile falling onto my face. "oh, hmm" he says looking at the door again before bringing his attention back onto me.
"i like your hair like this" he says, reaching forward and touching one of my braids. my hair is parted down the middle and braided into two separate french braids thanks to penny. she did it while we talked at breakfast in the morning.
"thank you" i smile, fiddling with the ends of the braids in my two hands.
"you do kind of look like a five year old though" hyunjin puckers his lips at the end of his statement.
my mouth falls open. "rude!"
he chuckles before his face falls serious. i wonder what he has to say to me. his sudden change in mannerisms scares me. i don't know what he's going to say.
"so, uh, i have a question" he says and my eyebrows raise. oh god. what is he going to ask me.
"yeah?" i lean forward slightly, hoping he'll ask me right now.
"did you happen to watch the awards that were on tonight?" hyunjin asks and i feel a part of my body go stiff. i knew he was here for that. i should've pretended i wasn't here. i shouldn't have came to the door.
it's not like what he did was a bad nor a good thing. i just don't know what to say.
do i say thank you?
do i yell at him for possibly ruining his career?
"um," i blink at him before continuing my response, "do you want the truth?"
his head moves up and down in response to my question. i breathe out and nod my head.
he mumbles something and turns around to look at the road for a second before turning back to me.
"i'm sorry" are the next words out of his mouth. "really, i'm so sorry, i didn't mean to say anything. it just-" he takes a deep breath and sighs, "it upset me that he's getting away with all of this shit. he ruined your life, especially in the eyes of the media. it's not fair that he gets to go and debut and perform at these award shows and win prestigious awards."
hyunjin sighs and shakes his head. "i'm just really sorry and i didn't know what i was doing. the words were just flowing out of my mouth," he stops for a second before continuing, "i need to learn to control it, it never ends up well."
i think he refers to the night at prom or at least that's what i think of as soon as he stops talking.
"a relationship! with me? me and you?! are you serious" his voice is loud, he's yelling. "i would never be with you moonie! are you joking?!" he scoffs as a tear rolls down my face.
"you always cried and complained and you wonder. you wonder why none of the boys in this school like you or have every wanted to get with you, it's because you're mean and you set people up. just wait till jaemin sees you and what you do."
i continue to sob as the boy spews harsh words.
"we were friends moonie, that's all we ever were."
i stare at him, blinking so tears don't start to take place within my eyes.
"uh," i look at the road before looking back at him, "i don't know what to say. thank you?" he stares at me, i don't think he got the response that he wanted.
"moonie," he starts, "i know i can never truly apologize for that night." how did he know that's what i was thinking of?
does he have mind reading powers?
i should stop thinking when i'm around him.
"how did you?" i furrow my eyebrows as i look at him. "your eyes glazed over, the corners of your mouth turned downwards and you looked at me like you wanted to burst into tears" he says.
"i know i can never apologize for what i said that night. i was so beyond evil to you. i regret everything a million times over. i relive that night every single day and i wish i could go back and beat myself to a bloody pulp for saying the words i said" hyunjin says, placing his hands on both of my arms.
"you don't cry and you don't complain, ever. the boys at the school were stupid to not have fallen for you. i was stupid to not realize my feelings. i was stupid for letting ara gwan work her spell on me" the grip on my arms get tighter. it doesn't hurt, it almost feels comforting.
"you're not mean. i should've realized how i felt about you sooner" he says and i'm dumbfounded.
"you're beautiful, and you're kind and you're smart and i love everything about you. i was stupid, i am stupid, i will forever be stupid" he whispers the last few words as his hands drop down to his sides.
i have no words.
not a single one.
if i was moonie from 2 years ago, i would've kissed him. i'm not moonie from 2 years ago though.
i'm moonie from right now.
"i think you've had a long night, hyunjin" i say and he nods, "you performed a lot and under a lot of stress, i think you need to sleep."
i'm the one that needs sleep.
"yeah" he nods in agreement.
"i'll see you at jeongin's graduation" i say, just above a whisper as i turn towards the door. i don't look back, i just walk in and shut it behind me.
i hear him say something on the other side before his footsteps retreat down the pathway.
the next thing in my face is yeonjun. "are you okay?" he asks, popping out from the kitchen.
"i tried to get him back to the living room, but this is as far as he would go. we just wrestled for like 10 minutes" penny says from behind him, completely out of breath.
she's bent over as she tries to fill her lungs up with air. "he's strong" she continues to huff and puff.
"yeah, i'm okay" i say to him. "did he hurt you? physically? emotionally? do i need to go after him" yeonjun takes my face in his hands as he scans it. he goes to walk towards the door but i stop him.
"i'm okay" my hands grab onto his and i bring them down between us.
"are you sure?" he asks me and i nod. "yeah, positive."
i am okay.
i think.
before i know it, it's bed time. i stand at my bathroom mirror, brushing my teeth and staring back at myself. yeonjun is next to me, brushing his as well.
he hums a song as he does so.
penny is somewhere in my bedroom, not fast asleep, but close to it. she says some words as well, they're all nonsense and that's how i know she's nearing sleep.
she talks all the time but as she gets more tired, the words blend together and i can never fully understand her.
i spit the mixture of toothpaste into my sink, washing my mouth out with water. when yeonjun finishes, he jumps up onto the counter, sitting on it and facing me.
his stance reminds me of hyunjin and when i sent the trophy flying into his head. i sat up there so i could clean his wound.
"i'm gonna hop up here" i say jumping up onto the counter. i needed the leverage on the tall boy and if he was the one sitting on the counter, i wouldn't be able to reach him with his long body.
i douse a small cotton ball with a peroxide solution as the boy moves closer to me. "this is probably going to burn okay?" i ask him. he nods and i lean forwards pressing the ball to his face.
"ow!" he retracts, lightly slapping my hand away. "it's cleaning it!" i tell him and he shakes his head. "it hurts more!"
"it's going to!" i yell before he allows me to continue. hyunjin brings his head closer again and i press the soaked matter to his forehead. he winces through the cleaning of his wound and when it's all finished i throw the now slightly bloody cotton ball in the garbage can next to us.
i grab one of the many bandages in the box, there's more than enough. tons of different sizes lay in the bottom of the box and i shuffle through them until i find the perfect size for it.
i peel it away from its packaging and stick it on his forehead.
i cleaned his wounds so many times when we were younger. ara was always having her bigger male friends slap hyunjin around. he never wanted to go home with a bloody face so we would stop by mine and i would clean him up before he would go home to his mother.
this time was different though. i swore when i was swiping the cotton ball against his skin he was staring at me, looking between my eyes and my lips.
maybe it was all in my head because of the way i used to feel but the way he looked at me made it seem like he wanted to kiss me.
"what are you thinking about?" yeonjun asks me, causing me to break away from my thoughts.
"just, the past" i shrug as i swipe a hydrating serum across my freshly washed skin. "home brings back memories" he says and i nod.
"that's for sure" i breathe out. i take the contacts out of my eyes, putting them back in their case before sliding my glasses back onto my face.
"cute" yeonjun says as i look in the mirror.
"as if" i say and he chuckles at me. "come here" he grabs my wrists and pulls me towards him.
my body stands between his legs and they wrap around me, bringing me closer to him. "you, are beautiful, don't forget that" he says to me and i can feel a brush creep onto my cheeks.
"you never let me" i smile.
he leans down and places a kiss on my lips, slowing pulling away at the end of it. god he knows how to kiss me and make me want more.
"it's bedtime" he whispers, hovering above my lips.
"one more?" i ask and he smiles, leaning forward to kiss me again.
as his lips press against mine, i can't help but think what hyunjin and i's kiss was like. what did it feel like, what did my body feel like when i kissed him?
did i feel firework explosions? did i crave more? did i feel anything?
what did his lips taste like? where were his hands as he did so? what would i have done if i was sober?
what would've happened if i kissed him sober?
i want one more kiss with hyunjin.
a sober one.
a real one.
one more before i go back home.
AUTHORSNOTE.zip
THINKING ABOUT HYUNJIN
AS SHES KISSING YEONJUN??
of course she would. i would act
surprised but i really can't. it's
such an illiad moon moment i rlly
can't even fake being surprised!
well.... there's the chapter. there was
a few flashbacks from letters, hope
you guys don't hate me for that
i just thought it would make it a lil
interesting. we got to see a lil bit
of jealous hyunjin and a lil bit of
jealous yeonjun (do not worry,
there is plenty more to come!) i
hope you enjoyed this chapter my
babies!! i love you all so much! thank
you for loving my work as much as
i do! vote and comment for more
chapters!!! okayyyy byeeeeee!!!