ELYSE's POV
Anger.
I was enraged at the world. The looks of sympathy and pity stabbed me left and right as I walked through the paddock. Everyone was afraid to disturb me as if I was some fragile piece of glass.
News does travel quick around the paddock, and it wasn't long before everyone was aware of my mother's passing. That and the fact that every driver was wearing black for the whole weekend.
It even got to the point that there were some articles writing how it was safe to take me out of the championship equation since I'd be dealing with grief in my 'destructive' ways. They had to bring up my past too. I was told to stay off social media because of things like these but I had to know what people were saying. But instead of crying, it only fueled my temper.
The last time I cried was during the funeral. Ever since then, I've been rather short-tempered, the simplest things kept throwing me off. I literally had a raging fit this morning after my hair kept frizzing up.
However, I tried to maintain a clear mind since I was starting P5 and was hoping for a win. I even added a little 'See you on the other side' in Spanish at the top of my helmet.
The Ferrari's were looking quite competitive with Charles in P3 and Carlos in 4. Lewis claimed pole and Max was right behind him. It was going to be quite a tough race, but I was determined. Determined to make my mother proud and prove the belittlers wrong.
I was already in the lead by lap 15. And I could hear the roars of the crowd, louder than the sound of the engine. It was crazy.
Adrenaline in my veins boosted me further as I increased the gap between me and Max who was right behind me.
I was called into the pits, deciding to pit rather later at lap 35. Going on, I was behind Lewis in P3. I hated practically giving Max the lead but my tyres were near gone so I had to pit. I kept my head in the game, eventually passing Lewis and was battling Max.
COMMENTATOR's POV
"We could see Verstappen and Garcia getting closer and closer there." Crofty pointed out, "Garcia is having the race of her life today, and I don't think she's going to go down without a fight."
"Yeah I agree, Crofty, especially after her mother's death not even a week ago, I believe she's in better shape than we expected." Martin added.
"Well, we all know how the Spaniard manages to prove us wrong. It's happened time and time again."
"Oh! Would you look that?! Elyse passes Max at the Rettifilo Tribune straight. What an incredible move from her! Now we need to see if she can maintain her position for the remaining 5 laps of this race." Martin excitedly announced.
"I mean, with much fresher tyres it's basically a no brainer. But, knowing Verstappen, he won't give up here." Crofty mentioned.
"Speaking of tyres—"
"Oh my goodness! I can't believe my eyes! Are you seeing what I'm seeing, Crofty?!"
"Oh, my! Elyse Garcia's left rear tyre rolls off, sending the Mercedes' into the barrier!" He exasperated, "She's out of the race with one lap remaining!"
ELYSE's POV
"Fuck this. Fuck everything. I'm going home." Was the last thing I said before shutting off the radio and throwing the steering wheel onto the gravel with as much force as I could muster.
I unbuckled my seatbelts, smacked the halo angrily and got out. I kicked the gravel repeatedly and pushed off any paramedics who kept trying to see if there was anything wrong with me.
"I'm fucking fine, stop touching me!" I escaped the hoard of marshals and got into the Safety Car.
As the Safety Car pulled into the pits, fireworks erupted in the sky, indicating the end of the race. I should've been screaming my lungs out right now, happy and excited. But I wanted nothing more to scream at the world and cry.
However, I stayed silent. My chest heaving up and down rather heavily making it known that I was a second away from snapping at someone. I sat through the medical checks and locked myself in my room the moment I got to the Mercedes garage. It was more than half empty anyway.
I opened the Formula One app and found myself third in the championship standings. I went down two places in just one race. Fucking great.
Someone knocked on my door. "It's Hailey."
"Come in." I sighed as she entered.
She took a seat beside me, looking like she was going through an internal battle of what she should say. "I know you're sad and bothered—"
"I'm fucking seething." I corrected her, "Sorry, continue."
"But you have to go to your interviews." She told me, "Or it'll make the team look bad."
I scoffed, "I don't fucking care, Hailey. The media could cry me a river and I still wouldn't give a fuck." I got up, "What I'm wondering is where the fuck everybody?" I walked into the empty garage, raising my hands in question, "I mean, sure, congrats to Lewis but where is everybody?"
She looked away, "I know you're grieving, Ellie. I know that but you don't have to be so difficult. Can't you just attend the interviews and make my life a bit easier. It's already hectic enough as your PR manager especially when I have to control the reputation of someone with your—"
"With my what, Hailey? My past?" I interrupted her, "I'm sorry I was a dumb teenager trying to cope with an abusive father and had a drug problem that the world happened to know about! Is that what you want to hear?" When I received no reply, I took it as my sign to continue, "And I'm sorry for being so fucking difficult, it's not like my mother passed away like four days ago. I don't even want to be here! And I'm sorry I make your life so miserable, try living my life for a fucking minute and just see if you'll make it out alive."
"I—"
"You know what, Hailey? You're something else. I can't believe I considered you as a close and caring friend to me. But when I act up once when I'm mourning, you bring up every bad quality of mine. But have you even bothered to realize how far I've come as a person?"
I watched her gulp, "You still need to do your interviews."
"Fuck you and your fucking interviews. I'm leaving." I left her standing there and took my already packed carry-on bag and got the hell out of there.
I slipped out of the paddock and nobody caught me leaving. Everyone was busy either still celebrating or giving interviews. I, on the other hand, was back at my hotel and didn't waste much time packing mu suitcase considering I barely went out or fancied up.
As I was scrolling through my phone, I noticed Neymar posting a picture in his private jet in Monza. Perfect.
In only two rings, he picked up.
"Hey, Ellie, are you okay?" Was the first thing he said the moment he picked up.
"Yeah, yeah. I was just wondering, I know you just got to Monza but can you do me the favor of getting me to Madrid?"
"Already? Didn't the race end like, 10 minutes ago?"
I sighed, "Yes, but I snuck out and really need to go home."
"Wait, hold on, hold on, you snuck out?" He laughed in disbelief. "You want me to be your accomplice in this crime?"
Somehow, I laughed, "Yes. Do you accept?"
"Yeah, meet me at the airport in 20 minutes. Terminal 5."
"Thank you, thank you, thank you."
"Anything for my favorite Formula One driver." I could picture him winking right now.
"I'm honored." I chuckled, "Oh, and by the way, I'm so telling Lewis."
"Hey!"
"See you at Terminal 5, brazilian hottie."
"What?—"
I ended the call and ordered an Uber to the airport. It was exactly a 20 minute ride which was perfect. I ignored all the calls I was receiving from Toto, Lewis, and a bunch of other people. Especially Hailey. I texted them saying I was going home and that I'll talk to them later.
I got the airport and there were already so many fans there. Everyone got out their phones to take pictures of me and I tipped my cap lower, hiding some of my face. I called Neymar, having no idea where he was.
"Wait, is that you in the navy blue sweatshirt and sweatpants?" He asked and I hummed in agreement, looking around in hopes of finding him. Fans were still hot on my ass.
"I found you." He ended the call and creeped up behind me. Multiple fan girls were screaming by now.
"Hello. Long time no see." We hugged and he gave me two kisses on my cheeks. Take it as you will, but in some cultures it's a way of greeting people.
Instantly, people were yelling questions like 'are you dating' and all the usual bullshit. The both of us ignored it and started walking to the runway where his private jet was parked.
"Seriously, I can't thank you enough for this."
"No biggie, Ellie. But I do have a question."
"Go ahead." I got comfortably seated in one of the luxurious seats. I could melt while sitting in these. Felt like I was on a cloud.
"Are you running away from your problems? I checked the race results after you called me and found a DNF." He asked, "I don't want you to regret the decisions you make because you're grieving. Friend to friend advice."
I sighed, "I fought with my PR manager. A really big one."
He hissed as he cringed at the thought, "Damn. Out of everyone?"
"I know. But she was so irritating and disrespectful. She said I was difficult and I make her life harder all because I didn't want to go do my interviews." The plane was in the air by now. "I just— the fact that she had to bring up my addiction was my last straw. How fucking dare she, you know? I thought she at least respected me and wouldn't shame me for something like the rest of the world."
"I'm so sorry, Ellie. That was so wrong of her. Are you planning on forgiving her anytime soon?"
"Fuck no." I laughed, "My reputation is probably shittier than fucked right now. I'm visualizing the headlines right now. Probably something like; Formula One driver Elyse Garcia sneaks out of paddock after DNF in race to meet with secret lover and football player Neymar Jr."
Neymar erupted into laughter, "That's a good one."
"I know, right?!" I took a glass of red wine from the flight attendant passing by. "Unleash the chaos."
We toasted, "So, what are you going to do in Madrid?"
"I'm going to stay with my aunt for a bit. I know she needs me even though she won't say anything because she doesn't want to 'hold me down'. She lives in my hometown though, so I reckon it's going to be hard but I'll manage."
He nodded as he listened carefully, "Does Lewis know?"
I shook my head, "Nobody knows. I took off the moment the race ended."
A wave of silence washed upon us before he spoke up, "I'm so proud of you, Ellie. You're so strong, especially in times like these. So I'm proud of you and one bad race result doesn't mean you failed." He told me, "Take it from someone who suffered many injuries that made me stay out a lot. It's painful, I know, but don't ruin yourself because of it."
I smiled, "Thank you, Ney. You're a really good friend." I changed seats so I could be beside him.
"Ouch, are you friend-zoning me, secret lover?" He put a hand over his heart in offense. I laughed.
"Yes." I nodded and he gasped. His hands ruffled my hair, making it stand up. "Hey! Not cool, secret lover."
He ignored me and pulled out his phone, taking a picture of me. And I was instantly wondering where my camera was, before remembering I left it in Brazil.
"I hate you." I hit him when he showed me the picture.
"Do you really want to unleash the chaos?" He asked with a sneaky smile.
"Hell yeah."
Then, my phone buzzed.
neymarjr mentioned you in their story.
I opened it.
"This is perfect." I cackled, "Wait, let me post something." He posed as I took a picture.
His phone buzzed and he chuckled when he saw the photos.
"I bet Hailey is pulling her hair right now." I had tears in my eyes just thinking about it.
"I'm pretty sure everyone is having a field day right now."
"I couldn't give a shit. Not anymore." I sighed, covering myself with a blanket.
"What about Mercedes'? Isn't Toto going to burn you alive?"
"Honestly? I think he's more focused with Lewis. The whole team is." He raised his brow in intrigue, "And no, I'm not jealous of Lewis. But I can't help but have the same feeling as when I first joined the team."
"What feeling?"
"Like I'm slowly turning into a second driver."
"But you've been leading the championship for the past 6 races or something, right?" He asked, confused.
"Yeah. Supposedly." I huffed, "I'm not saying the team doesn't support me. It just feels like that support is decreasing somehow. Or like, when they saw I had many bad results in a row and Lewis was better, that support shifted. I can't really explain it, I just feel it."
He nodded, "Yeah, I understand how you feel. But, I don't know, maybe they're trying to give you some space?"
"Do you know how shitty it feels to come back to an empty garage after missing the win by one lap?" I asked him, "And then realizing you've gone from leading the championship to third. It's not fun."
"Have you tried telling someone that?"
"No. I don't want to sound ungrateful or jealous."
"Maybe you should." He suggested, "How else will they know how you feel?"
I nodded along, he had a point. But I don't think I'm willing to do that anytime soon. I prefer to do my talking on the track anyways, but with my apparent streak of bad luck, it doesn't seem like the most reliable option. "I don't know, I'll think about it."
"I'm telling you—" he was cut off by his phone ringing. He flipped the phone my way, showing me Lewis was the caller. I shook my head repeatedly.
He pressed on the green button, a sly smile on his face. I groaned, pulling the blanket over my face.
"Hey, Lew." He paused and I could hear some talking from Lewis' side, "Yeah she's with me. To Madrid. Mhm." He kept humming until his brows perked up and he looked at me with an evil look, "Can you talk to her?" I mouthed 'no' as I shook my head once again, "Yeah, here."
I kept mouthing no and even tried getting up and locking myself in the bathroom but he grabbed me and threw me back down on the couch, putting the phone against my ear. I was pinned down with no way of escaping. Did Neymar think this evil way will make me talk?
He pinched me.
I squealed.
"Ellie?" Lewis spoke up.
"Ah, Lewis. How are you doing my amazing friend?" It felt like I was being held at gunpoint.
"Are you okay?" He asked, "I didn't get a chance to talk to you after the race."
"Yeah. I'm great." I told him, "Congrats on P2, though. Sorry for not waiting till you got back to congratulate you."
"I heard some people saying there was a lot of yelling coming from the Mercedes' garage and you were suddenly gone after that so I was worried."
"I fought with Hailey. No big deal, though. Sorry to make you worried." I apologized, "Go enjoy your time, though. You're P2 in the championship now." It pained me to say that but as his friend I was happy for him.
"Thank you. I hope you and Hailey make up soon. Also don't think I wasn't fuming when I saw you and Ney's posts, people are going batshit crazy right now. Especially poor Max." He laughed as he said the last bit.
"Mm. Well, gotta go, we're about to land now." I didn't know how to reply to that.
"Alright, tell Aunt Angela I said hi."
"Of course, bye-bye." I hung up and then sent daggers towards Neymar. "You're evil."
"Maybe, but I'm your evil secret lover, remember?"
I chuckled and shoved his face away. We remained that way for the rest of the flight, I was even able to get a few minutes of sleep before we landed.
"Thank you again, Neymar. I don't know what I would've done without you." I hugged him.
"Been stuck in economy with loud kids crying the whole flight?"
I rolled my eyes, "Yeah. But that was a rhetorical question."
"Don't know what that is and don't want to know." He stared at me like I said the most insane word he's ever heard. "But do you need a ride home? I have some time to spare."
"No, thank you, I've asked too much from you."
"You're not asking, though. I'm offering. You know what? C'mon." He pulled me from my hand and rolled my suitcase with him with his other free hand.
I should've expected it, but the Madrid airport was full to the brim. And it wasn't hard to get recognized. It was just then when I realized how we looked with our hands intertwined. Welp.
"Let's use the back exit. I know a shortcut." He whispered as he took us into a less crowded area and into the back parking area. There was already a cab waiting so he put my bag in the trunk for me then got in the backseat with me.
It was a 30 minute ride from the airport and my aunt's home. Once we arrived, I thanked him for the millionth time today before offering him a drink or a meal if he had the time. It was the least I could do.
"I would love to but the pilot just texted me and told me he's almost done fueling up. So I gotta go, now. Sorry." He apologized, "I'll try to come next race or something."
"I'll be waiting, secret lover." I joked and he winked before getting back in the cab and leaving me in the front porch of my aunt's house. I couldn't remember the last time I was here. I do know that my childhood home was a few streets away, though.
I rung the doorbell and a teary-eyed Angela opened the door.
"Aw, mio caro. Come here." She pulled me into a hug, like she was desperate to cling onto someone after being alone for so long.
"It's okay, Angie. I'm here now." I hugged her tightly.
Eventually I entered the house and was met with countless bottles of alcohol and beer scattered around the house.
"I— I'm sorry. The house is a mess, I should've cleaned it before you came—"
"Shhh, Angie, it's fine. I don't care. Don't bother yourself." I smiled, assuring her it's okay. "I'm going to go sleep now, I'm really tired but don't clean anything, okay? Leave it be. You don't have to act okay."
She gave me a relieved smile before bidding me goodnight and I was knocked out for the rest of the night.
The next morning when I woke up, I found Angie passed out on the couch with a bottle of alcohol in her hand. I tiptoed into the kitchen in hopes of making some breakfast but found the fridge empty, only a few beer bottles occupying it.
I took a sticky note from the kitchen island and wrote a quick note informing Angela, when she wakes up, that I was out buying groceries. I wished I had any of my cars here with me but instead I was driving a bike my mother had gifted to Angie a few years ago. She doesn't use it anymore, though.
Parking the bike, I entered the grocery store, immediately being greeted by the 80-year-old manager who has been there ever since I was born. He was a sweetheart and even offered me a coupon for future purchases. As I was searching for ingredients in-between aisles, a voice behind me spoke up.
"My, my. I can't believe my eyes." That voice brought back memories I'd rather forget. "Is this thee Elyse Garcia in front of me right now?"
I sighed, now facing no other than Matthew Reyes. "In the flesh."
"I was wondering when you'd visit again." He leaned on the aisle next to him.
Matthew Reyes was my dealer back when I was a teenager. He also happened to be my boyfriend when we were in high-school. I cut off all contact with him when word had got out that I used substances. He didn't take that lightly back then.
"Well, here I am." I sighed before putting some seasoning in my cart.
"I'm, uh— sorry about your mom. She was one of a kind."
"Mhm, thanks." I nodded my head as I looked around. Not really paying attention.
"People were saying they saw you yesterday and I didn't believe till I saw it." He started, "Evie and Valencia are dying to see you again. The whole group is." He told me, "We're throwing a house party later today. If you wanna come, of course."
My first instinct was to say no. But then I thought against it, I was going to stay here for 2 weeks. Sulking around in my aunt's house was certainly not going to make me feel better. Rekindling with old friends? Maybe, it's worth a shot though. "Maybe I'll come. No promises though."
He smiled, "I'll take that. Oh, and tough luck on last race."
"You still watch the races?" My eyebrows perked up in surprise.
"Yeah, of course, everyone gathers in town square and watches anyways." He told me, "There are a bunch of Fernando and Carlos supporters but we always cheered for you."
I chuckled, "Carlos never liked you, you know?"
"Yeaah, I could tell." He laughed.
I added one more item to my cart before walking to cashier. Matthew was still following me. After paying, I started hanging the bags on each handle of the bike.
"Are you gonna be able to carry all that?" He asked, "I can lend you my car if you need it."
"No, that won't be necessary. I've done this hundreds of times before, remember?" I started peddling ever so slowly, "Well, ciao! See you at the party... or not."
I accidentally ran a stop sign and the guard sitting near just rolled his eyes and shook his head. Thankfully, though I made it back to the house and Angela was awake, cleaning up her mess.
"C'mon Angie, I told you to leave it be."
"I couldn't. I had to do something. And I don't want to be the reason you'd be staying at a dump."
I sighed, "I appreciate you doing this for me. But I seriously don't mind, you should come see my house for once." She tried to smile. "Anyways, I got some stuff and I'll be cooking you a proper meal today, alright?"
She nodded and smiled, "I don't remember the last time I had homemade food."
"Yeah, I could tell. I'll be your personal chef today, so watch and learn." I started cooking. I didn't go all out deciding to stick to a pasta Alfredo and some salad to go along with it. All in all, I think she enjoyed it by the smile on her face. It looked, by the way her smile looked unnatural, as if she hasn't properly smiled in ages. And I was hoping by me staying with her for these 2 weeks, that could change. I wanted to be strong and not have to lean on someone, but have someone lean on me.
After eating, Angela announced she was going to bed since she wanted to start fixing her sleep schedule and just bettering herself in general now that I was here. I was so proud of her for taking that step and couldn't wait for myself to reach that point aswell.
For now, I preferred to stick to my 'destructive' ways like the media said. Reaching that point felt so far away.