𝐀𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚
𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓
I was currently out for lunch with Phoebe, her mum, and my granny as a little girl's lunch for a catchup, We'd usually do this back in my town in London but since I'm back home we went to a little café that we adored.
"Oh it is lovely to see you pet back in Newcastle" Alice, Phoebe's mum, spoke.
"Thank you, I'm enjoying being back" I spoke before sipping on my wine.
"Well I for one have missed you a lot and I'm sure I'm not the only one aye Jacq?" Phoebe addressed my granny while she ordered.
"Of course I did, it's my little girl but I did not miss you playing electric guitar at one am that's for sure missy" She joked with a stern look.
"Oh please you love it gran" I joked back.
"Gran me again missy and I will lock away that guitar again" She warned.
We all laughed it off as they sank into a conversation about missing me. These were the moments I had missed while in London. The lunches there just aren't the same casual family feeling between us all. I will never be able to forgive him for giving me the ambition to leave my favourite people that I needed by my side.
"You okay Bella?" Pheebs questioned, noticing my absence in the question and the only one knowing what had happened the night before.
I had rang her after I had calmed myself down, ranting for hours about the words that had been spoken. Her hatred was definitely fueled towards him and I did not blame her one little bit anymore.
"Yeah I'm fine, just missed these lunches" I hummed, picking up my glass to cheer with the others.
We had a lovely lunch talking about everything from teenage memories, to boys and anything else possible. My mind was distracted for the first time in a while and I had genuine smiles. I adored these women with all I had.
My phone suddenly buzzed by the side of me and I reached over to check it to be met with a message I was not expecting.
Dean: Hiya Bella, heard from the whispers of the streets you are back home. Me and the lads are missing our lil songwriter. Was wondering whether you wanted to have a few drinks with me and the lads tonight at the Low Lights. Sam will be there but we can defend you as well as Pheebs if she wants to join. Love ya lots Bella x
"Pheebs look at this" I spoke, showing her my phone. Shock reaching her face as well.
"Oh crikey. I think we should go though. I know you miss the lads and so do I and it could be fun. You can't spend the whole trip with us lot and can't him determine what we do. Come on" She spoke wisely. I nodded in agreement.
Arabella: Of course, we will come. Missed you bairns a lot as well, see you tonight x
"What's going on darling?" My granny questioned, confused by the interaction.
"Nothing just Dean asked if we wanted to go for a few down the Low Lights tonight with the lads" I explained to her.
"That sounds grand. I always loved Dean, he used to look right after you when you were bairns" She awed.
"Aye Dean is lovely, a little troublemaker but looked after you too for sure" Alice agreed.
--
It was now a little bit later and we were sat in Phoebe's flat with vinyls blasting getting ready. I sat on her floor with a glass of wine, fixing my makeup from this morning. I didn't want to go all out as it was the Low Lights but if he was there I had to show I was fine after yesterday.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Phoebe asked while doing her mascara in the bathroom.
"Just thinking about seeing everyone and him after yesterday yanno," I tell her honestly.
"Arabella if you can do half of the stuff you have done you can face a few old friends. And for him just ignore him, you're home and you can't let him ruin how you felt about Shields this morning" She advised, pointing the mascara tube at me for emphasis making me laugh.
Soon enough we dressed in our outfits taking a few pictures before setting off to the Low Lights.
"Ready?" She asked linking arms like usual.
"As I ever will," I said nodding causing us to chuckle a little.
We made our quick walk to the little pub, talking about anything that came to our minds. It was Phoebe's trick to keep me distracted as my nerves increased the closer we got.
"Here we go," She says opening the familiar doors.
Straight away we are approached by a group of rowdy boys, cheering our names making a smile come to my face. I was pulled into hugs, the first one of course being Dean.
"Oh I have missed ya wor lass," He said in my ear as he pulled away.
"Missed you too Deano" I reply, patting his shoulder.
Soon enough Tom pulled me into him, muttering a missed you. He had always been the big brother of the group. Then soon enough I was introduced to a few new people that had joined the group.
"Hiya I'm Joe, part of Sam's band. I've heard a lot about you from Deano. Must be a special lass" He said, pulling me into a hug and I could tell I already liked him. He seemed like a good laugh.
Another lad then came over to me, tripping over slightly making the whole group erupt in laughter.
"Cheers lads," He said to the group of boys before turning back around. "Hey, I'm Drew. Drummer of Sam's band" He explained, reaching his hand out.
"I'm not gonna bite Drew, you can give us a hug like. Nothing special here" I said, gesturing to myself before hugging him.
Then I met the final new one, another Tom who explained he was the bassist of the group. They all seemed like a good laugh and I knew that's why Sam had liked them.
Speaking of the devil, I looked up to be connected with his ocean blue eyes staring back at me. Neither of us moved for a second until a voice spoke up.
"Well we better get a drink than join ya lads" Phoebe spoke up, witnessing the eye contact.
"No need. Got your drinks and seats right here next to me" Dean pointed to the two spaces next to him which were far away from him. I knew that was his plan from the wink that came my way as I sat down.
I straight away gulped half my pint down as I laid eyes on it. "Oi oi, can see why the lads love ya so much now" Joe spoke in response to my actions causing us to laugh.
Soon enough we were all in conversation about what I've been up to and teenage memories. Dean was careful enough to not go near the topic of me and Sam which the other lads followed.
However, as much as I avoided the blonde lad, I could feel his eyes laid on me watching my every move. Making me wonder if Dean had told the lads about our relationship. Or why they said only Dean talked about me? Could he still not talk about me?
I stopped my brain from spiraling by downing the drink in front of me before the next round came.
"Steady on Bella. I'm getting flashbacks to when you were sixteen knocking 'em back like they were note" Tom laughed, recalling one of my drunken moments.
"Aye well, I believe I was a bit of a mess then. Some things never change" I mutter the words, finally reaching his eyes again.
"Yeah, I remember you and Sam were like all over each other. Disgusting sight, I'll tell you that" He says, crumbling his face up at the memory.
"Well, that's in the past now," I say with a bitter smile on my face as I turn to Dean.
"You alright lass?" He asked, knowing right now wouldn't be the easiest for me.
"Yeah, I'm alright. Got my best mate back ain't I?" I smile at him as he put his arm around me.
"Never went anywhere" He whispered in my ear while Phoebe turned to us.
"Did I hear something about best friends?" She asked, whipping her head around.
"Yep, saying Deano's my best mate" I joke as she acts offended.
We joke around as a little trio for a few minutes like back in the old days. It was nice, I had missed our little moments.
"Sam you have a face like a smacked arse mate. What's up? Got no lasses tonight or something?" Drew questioned the boy in the corner as I stared at the table. Feeling like something had stabbed my heart at the thought of him with girls.
"I need air" I spoke suddenly, walking towards the door.
"Drew what the fuck" I heard Dean shout.
"What? They were years ago" Drew shouts back and I heard a chair scrape across the floor. I was certain it was Phoebe.
I got outside and slid down the brick wall next to the doors, feeling my heartache and breathing increase.
"Drew can be an idiot" Sam spoke as he joined me in my place.
"You should go back inside," I said, standing back up and creating distance.
"I don't always have girls Arabella. He just thought it was funny since I've been single since I met him" He spoke, standing up close to me
"It's not my business. Go back inside" I spoke bitterly, turning around.
He didn't say anything but instead stood behind me as I caught my breathing. I knew he was thinking of something, but I still knew him better than anyone.
My body kept tensing up at my thoughts and stress. I knew he could see it in my shoulders.
He stepped a step closer to my back before placing a kiss on my neck, trying to soothe me.
Do not give in Arabella. It's a trick.
Then his hand came to my arm. There it was. The familiar touch.
Ignore the feeling. It's not safe.
"Rose. Turn around please" He whispered in my ear and I was back under his spell like that.
I did as he said but did not dare to look at his face. Instead, my eyes were firmly set on the floor beneath us. Until his fingers came to my chin and he pulled my face to look at his.
I took the silence and moment between us to admire him for the first time tonight. It was an instinct of mine that I had always done in these moments between us but this one felt different. The connection felt different between us.
His face was illuminated by the street lights around and the moonlight showing the blonde in his hair. His hair was messy but that kind of messy that gave me butterflies. There was a patch of stubble on his chin, showing our age difference since the last time we stood like this. My eyes flickered over every single detail I could find. I knew what he was waiting for and what a subconscious part of me was waiting for. I knew to resist.
"I'm surprised Phoebe hasn't come out" I whispered to him.
"I told her not to. And since she never listens to me, I'm guessing Tom is doing us a favour thinking we need to talk. Then Dean will be getting protective and having a small go at everyone while also filling everyone in slightly on us if I know our lot" He whispered back, moving small bits of hair out of my face while drawing shapes on my hip bone.
"They are more your lot than mine these days" I whisper back.
"Never, you will always have a place in our group. A place everywhere. A place in my soul" He whispered, looking into my eyes again.
Right then and there, I didn't want to move. I knew I should but the feeling I had was enough for the rest of my life being stood there. I didn't give myself time to think before I did my next actions.
I moved my hand up to his neck before pulling his face down toward mine. We looked at each other before our lips connected. His soft lips moved against mine and my hand moved to his little hairs.
There it was, the feeling I had the last time. The explosion of butterflies, safety, adrenaline, and home. A different kind of feeling from what I had when we kissed back when we were sixteen. I knew what I wanted then even if I was to regret it. I just wanted one night between us to explore this new feeling. To be with him.
"Come on" He whispers as if he could read my mind.
"I have a free house" I whisper as we stop to kiss again.
We make the quick walk to my house which ends up being longer as we keep stopping to kiss. Both of us not wanting to ruin the moment.
As soon as we step into my hallway, he picks me up and kisses me making me let out a squeal and causing the man in front of me to smirk. We instantly go back into a kiss like we shared outside the Low Lights. Slow and soft but with all the tension and need.
His lips moved to my neck and jaw while I let out moans and played with his hair. Soon enough he found my sweet spot causing me to move against his hard-on that was growing making him let out a groan. Before I could even register, he was carrying me upstairs to my bedroom.
The door shut behind us as we entered he put me down and pressed me up against the wall, continuing his attack. While I moved my hand down towards his trapped cock, palming him causing him to groan against my neck.
"Jump" He groaned in my ear as he picked me up again and dropped me onto my bed.
He made his way on top of me after we had both shaken off our shoes. I straight away yanked at his top, signally for him to take it off. He pulled it over his head and my hands instantly roamed his chest while he cupped my breasts through my crop top.
I couldn't take this teasing any longer and I started grinding against him. His hands soon came to my top, ripping it off and repeating his actions with my skirt. Leaving me in my pants and bra in front of his eyes.
He stepped off the bed to take off the rest of his clothes and get a condom out of his jeans ready. That's when the reality hit me. That here I was with him once again in the most vulnerable way possible as I stripped myself of the last bits. Yet there was no fear in my body because his touch made me feel safe. Not safe in the way it will last for a day or so but that safe you know never disappears.
He looked me in the eyes and we shared a smile before I tried to cover up causing him to reach out and stop my hands.
"You're beautiful Rose" He whispered as he got back on top of me, placing kisses down my body.
He spent time on my breasts, placing kisses on my nipple while the other one was being rubbed back and forth between his thumb and finger.
My moans were echoing through the room as my head went further back into the pillow beneath my head.
"Sam" I moaned out beneath him.
"What baby?" He said, looking up at me with his ocean eyes and I could of came right then and there at the sight.
"I need you" I whispered into his eyes.
He nodded and continued his trail of kisses before placing little ones on my clit making my moans even louder. He worked his tongue over my clit before deciding to fuck me with it. His thumb worked my clit while his tongue worked my hole.
"Sam I'm getting close" I whispered as my hips jerked towards him.
"Not yet baby. Going to cum on my dick okay?" He said as I nodded in response.
He came up to my lips and kissed me once again. I could taste myself in his mouth which made this whole moment a whole lot more hotter if I'm being honest. He aligned himself with me after rolling the condom on, entering me causing us both to let out a moan.
His pace was slow at the beginning while you shared kisses before he sped up causing your nails to mark his back while he groaned into your neck repeatedly. That was a sound you wanted on repeat as it caused butterflies to erupt in your stomach.
"Nobody could make me feel like you do" He whispered in my ear as we both got closer to our highs.
"Cum when I say so," He says but I couldn't respond as you felt too weak.
He attacked my lips as his pace slowed due to nearing his high.
"Now" He whispered against my lips as you both released.
We stared at each other for a minute, contemplating what had just happened before falling next to each other. Sam put his arm out behind me for me to put your head on his chest.
"That was something else" I whispered into the room.
"It's not like that with others" He whispered.
"There's a different feeling than there was back then" I whispered, scared to bring then up.
"I know how you feel. It's like it's new but it's not" He explained in a few words but I knew what he meant.
We didn't have to say anything else, we lay in a comfortable silence before falling asleep entangled in each other's arms sharing kisses.
----
so...yeah. that happened, how are we all feeling after reading the first smut of the book. a dramatic one for sure. i actually loved writing this, like i could picture every bit of it. sorry it starts off slow. love ya x