𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐬𝐚𝐦 𝐟𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞

𝐒𝐚𝐦

I was currently sitting at our dining table, replying to some emails on my laptop with one of my mam's famous brews. Since I found out Arabella is back yesterday, I spent the whole day dwelling on our teen years but decided it was best to distract myself instead with work.

Her beauty however hadn't left my mind. As well as the memory of her voice, laughter, sarcasm and just everything. I wonder if it had all changed over the ten years.

"Sam pet you wouldn't mind popping to the co-op for a few bits for us, would ya?" My mam asks, walking into the kitchen.

"Of course not mam," I say, finishing off my last email.

"Oh great dear, I've already written a list. It's on the cupboard in the hall so don't forget to pick it up before you leave" She says.

"I'll go get ready now," I say, standing up from the table and leaving the room but not without placing a kiss on her cheek.

I run upstairs to my childhood bedroom, not even daring to think about the memories to do with her in here. I grab my black jeans swapping them for the joggers I was already wearing before attempting to fix my messy hair.

Once I was ready, I go back downstairs to grab my keys, wallet and pull on my adidas. My mam obviously had to remind me of the list and to put it in my pocket.

The drive there was the same as usual, music playing in the background as the rain pounds against the glass windows. I pull into the car park and make sure I have everything before running into the shop.

I grab a basket and pull the list out, glancing at the items. I make my way around the shop slowly, making sure I had the right things to avoid getting a slap around the head from my mam. I checked the list once again before heading toward the scanning area. I look up and look away and repeat my actions once again. My eyes weren't tricking me. She was there, scanning her shopping, and sure enough, the only other scanning area available was the one next to her.

As I approach the scanning area, she notices me and makes sure to look away as fast as she saw me. We both lift our heads up and glance at each other as I scan my first item.

Those green eyes definitely had not changed. The brown flecks mixed with the green emerald background being enough to make my heart flutter and my stomach do a million backflips.

Suddenly I was that sixteen-year-old boy again that saw the colour drift away from them as I spoke my poison.

We both awkwardly looked away and sped up our scanning, no longer feeling like taking our time. She finishes a moment or two before me and leaves as fast as she possibly can out of the small shop.

I walk outside with my shopping to see her in the car. Her head against the headrest as she exhales before turning the keys and making her way home. I sigh at the sudden aching feeling in my heart. It was all real. She was here, it hadn't all been a stupid dream.

And god did her beauty always leave me breathless.

I get home and help my mam put the shopping away without saying a word, being too scared it would all spill out my mouth and the guilt would consume me even more. She didn't even try to get me to talk, knowing almost instantly I had seen her.

I get back into my room and fall onto the bed while exhaling. I stare up at the ceiling, remembering the way I layed here that night.

My phone buzzed away with texts from my mates saying well done or that they had seen her crying on Phoebe's shoulder at the bus stop. I went along with all the texts as if I hadn't just made the biggest, stupidest mistake of my whole teenage life and potentially my whole life.

Dean, however, was different from the rest of my friends.

I don't understand why you did it. I am your best friend so obviously, I support you and I'm here for you but I'm also so pissed at you. That girl loved you, you dragged her along. She put up with your mates' stupid comments, the bullying getting worse for her and you just left her in the middle of a math class. Fender, you messed up lad.

This guilt had laid on my heart for far too long, I couldn't even imagine how she felt if the hurt had stayed. Who am I kidding that breakup was twelve years ago, she's over it.

𝐀𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚

I just ranted my heart out to poor Phoebe over facetime while pacing around my room. It suddenly hit me while I lay on my bed, this is why I didn't come back. It wasn't home anymore, it was a reminder of the hurt I carried every day. The foolishness I carried for so many years around this town. The words everyone said but I ignored them. Now being back I just felt like that teenager again who just needed to leave.

I had seen him. Him. The boy who left me heartbroken, embarrassed, and stupid. The boy had left me with trauma that still comes back like a devil and bites me every once in a while. And those stupid blue eyes that for a year were so pure, my safety. I could look into his eyes and know exactly whether I could trust him until that day when I realised they had been lying for the past year.

Soon as I got off the bus, I walked so fast to my home. People stared as I walked around them without a small smile like usual. Soon as I got in, I muttered a hi to my grandparents and made a b-line for my room. I threw my things down, peeling off my jacket and blazer. I couldn't even make it to my bed without falling to the floor, against the bed frame.

My hand clutched my mouth to stop the noise from escaping. Tears streaming faster than any river or ocean possible. My other hand was placed on my heart at the physical severe aching pain like a heart attack in my chest. My body shaking like a child that has fallen because of a seizure. All of this over a boy.

A boy who never loved me. A boy who lied. A boy who was secretly laughing and smirking when his friends encouraged the insecurities in my mind. A boy who didn't even want to hold my hand in public. A boy who didn't listen to my words. A boy who never should have said I was pretty.

That pain had never left my heart. It was always there like a ghost on my heart, faint. But when I saw his blonde messy hair and those blue orbs, it was back louder than ever.

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hi! a lil return from me. normal people fans may recognise a similarity in this chapter a little bit. i love you all, thank you for your messages over the past month - ash x