𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐬𝐚𝐦 𝐟𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧

𝐀𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚

I had hardly left my house since that night, too scared of seeing him again. I didn't even tell anyone what happened, just telling Phoebe I felt sick that night. How could I be so stupid? Telling the guy I have trauma attacks over about them.

I was currently sat on my windowsill, cigarette lit thinking back over my teenage years. Thinking about him, that's all I've done. The way rose still slipped out of his lips. The look of those blue eyes. Him.

Me and Phoebe were linked arms making our way to science, laughing over something that I told her about History as we met up after she had Geography.

"Aye at least I've avoided Sam well since November" I said as we walked through the door. 

Soon enough greeted by a new seating plan. Oh god. I looked all over the board for my name to soon see Sam Fender next to it, right at the back. 

I connected eyes with him as soon as we read the names. He sighed, hanging his head low while I let out a nervous laugh that I had never done before. 

The whole lesson was spent with me staring Phoebe down with help me eyes while fidgeting with anything I could. I definitely hated past me now. 

I had asked to sit with him while we were together because of my anxiety and she had denied but here we are. Now my anxiety is even worse. 

I sat in shock all through out lunch and when I saw him that afternoon, he was just as quiet. The next few months of that seating plan are gonna be fun. 

I internally cringed at the reminder of racing heart I had every single day after that. The one that I had now as I threw my cigarette into an ashtray. Sitting behind my keyboard, pressing random notes with a sigh.

And of course after a writing block since being back home as soon as I spend ten minutes with him, the lyrics flow. No surprise there.

"Struggle to put into words the way I loved you,                                                                                                      A shot of adrenaline                                                                                                                                                        With a mix of dreaming                                                                                                                                                    Until you screwed up, still saw the angel in you                                                                                                        Now I see the devil more                                                                                                                                          Darling this is a warning,                                                                                                                                                    I will tell everyone just how you messed it up

So I hope the flashbacks come your way,                                                                                                                  And the nightmares sting a little hard tonight                                                                                                      With a hit of shallow breathing                                                                                                                                        A payback of just what you did to me