I was panicking as I got out of my taxi, in front of the Williams' main office building. I thought of the many possibilities of how this would pan out. I asked Peppa not to come with, in case something goes wrong and I end up being humiliated. I can take the verbal abuse and disgrace, I had taken it for years but I would never forgive myself for putting my friend on the headlines because I made an idiotic mistake.
The least I can do is protect her image as I walk towards ruining mine.
The moment I made it inside the building, it was like I was in another world. Bright cream coloured walls with people dressed in business suits coming in and out. Some on phone calls and some holding coffee as they conversed, I knew very well I was out of place even though the place looked emptier than I expected. It is a tall building so I did it expect there to be people on this floor anyway, except for the receptionist.
Although, I felt as though I was being watched as I made my way to reception. I hate the feeling but I have to do it, I have to tell Kevin before I go back to my life and figure out what do next. I don't expect him to keep me in his life but I know he has to know either way.
"Hello, how can I help you?" The woman asked when I stood in front of her desk.
She was a sweet young woman with blonde hair that had bangs which covered some of her face. She had pretty purple glasses that surrounded her eyes and she held a sweet smile on.
"Uh.. yes. I'm here to see Kevin. Kevin Williams?" I spoke, trying to stop my voice from shaking out of nervousness.
I can positively say that was a big failure.
"I apologize ma'am but Mr Williams is not taking any interviews today. You should come back tomorrow." She replies with a soft voice to show her genuine apology as she spoke.
"I'm not here for interviews... I'm- it's personal." I spoke in a low voice. She narrowed her eyes at me as if trying to figure me out but she did not seem convinced. Long gone was the sweet lady and now she was serious as she fixed her glasses looking at me from head to toe.
My hair was not tied up and I had worn dark jeans and a white top with a beige cardigan and some sneakers. I did not in any way look like I was here for an interview because I was dressed casually.
"Again ma'am, Mr Williams is not to be bothered unless you have an appointment." The woman emphasizes once more, she had a sharper tone this time.
"Okay then fine. Can I use your bathroom? I'm pregnant with morning sickness so.." I said, attempting to trick the lady.
"That wont work on me honey, this is not my first rodeo. I suggest you leave unless you want me to call security." The woman threatens. I groan in frustration.
To be honest, I am actually pregnant with morning sickness.
"I'm sorry but I really need to see him. You do-" My body froze when a deep voice of a man spoke behind me, interrupting me of my words. My heart started racing so fast I could hear it thumping in my head. My stomach felt heat as my skin got goosebumps all over as the air suddenly felt so cold.
"Is there a problem, Olivia?" I suddenly had more fear than I did anger.
"Nothing Mr Williams, this young lady was about to leave because I told her there are no interviews today." Olivia's voice said in a warning tone more to me than to her boss.
I turned around slowly, only to look up and see the man I thought I despised but my heart betrayed me. Kevin was clearly taken aback by seeing my face but instead of being annoyed as I expected, he gave his usual flirtatious smirk that he charmed me with. I was shocked by his action but he spoke before I did.
"Actually Olivia, I'll take care of this. Let's talk in my office." He said in a formal tone and turned around, walking towards the elevator.
I was more freaked out by his reaction than anything as I scurried behind him like a little lost dog finding its owner. We both waited as the elevator had stopped between floors. Waiting for it took longer than I hoped it would.
"You've crossed the line." Kevin whispered in my ear before the elevator opened and we got inside.
His demeanor had changed completely now that we were alone and I was scared more than I was mad.
The wait to Kevin's office was long and it felt like pure agony. My hands hugged my bag that I carried with me as I tried keeping my orange hair out of my face. The more tension danced between us, the more I realized I wasn't the one who was supposed to be scared about my arrival here, he is.
We finally made it on his floor where there were a few people of the higher positions. He and I did attract attention together as the man never shadowed his anger this time. Judging by their reactions, everyone in this floor never dares to anger their boss. Everyone walks on glass when he's at this state. From their faces, I knew I was in for it the minute that door closed behind us.
"Mr Williams your brother is on the line." His assistant informed him the minute he saw him. He was walking as fast as I was next to him but Kevin didn't even spare him a glance as he walked with long strides to what I guess was his office.
He wore beige dress pants, formal brown footwear matching his belt and a white dress shirt that he had rolled up the sleeves of to his forearms. He was only carrying his car keys in one hand as another was curled into a fist. A new fear engulfed me as I took a huge gulp, a fear I recognize dearly but I did not dare to show it. I hoped I didn't show it.
"Take a message." He answered briefly, his attention still not on the man next to him.
"But he insisted sir." The assistant argues, causing him to come to a sudden halt, looking at the man with a deep hatred that I've never seen before and it didn't make me feel secure at all.
"I'll call him in 20." He gritted his teeth this time, clear irritation towards this restless worker who was trying to inform his boss of the importance of the call.
"But sir, he said your father wanted to talk to you." He continued.
Kevin's jaw clenched in annoyance, his sigh of irritation apparent making me look at other people in the office whose conversations were lesser than when we came in.
"If so then take a message." He emphasizes before opening the door for me. It was only when he waited for me to get inside that I noticed we had arrived in his office.
Kevin guided me to his office and closed the door behind him. I was thankful he didn't lock it so I'll be able to escape when he goes crazy. I hadn't said a word to the man and I was not willing to say anything until he does. Anything that would come out of my mouth at the moment was either an insult or definitely an insult.
"As you can see I'm having a bad day, what do you want?" He said roughly making my face scrunch up in obvious distaste.
Now that he reminded me of how much I hate him, the room started smelling like him and I did not like it. It made me want to gag.
"Trust me it's not you I want." I replied with an attitude of my own.
"Then why are you here, Fiona." He leans foward behind his desk as if he was now interested in what I had to say. I had not expected him to say my name and again, my heart betrayed me, I still did have some feelings for him and I hated it.
"Maybe it's better if I show you rather than tell you." I said as I reached out for my purse.
Kevin was confused by this action as he watched me intently, waiting for me to reveal what I was here for. I did not feel comfortable under his gaze considering it felt like he was analyzing my whole face, it was uncomfortable.
Coming back to reality, I put down a box on Kevin's desk and pushed it towards him. He grabbed it before it fell down and analyzed it. I watched as I was waiting for a reaction, any reaction. As soon as Kevin saw what it was, his frown turned into a face of confusion once again.
"A pregnancy test? Do you want me to do a pregnancy test?" He asked.
"And here I thought you were smart." I said sarcastically as I crossed my arms. I had not meant to say the words out loud but it was an accident, he's the one who made me realize I am very sarcastic when I'm annoyed or when I don't want to cuss at anyone.
"Wh- no no no no no." Kevin started chanting as he tried opening the box. I looked at him as my heart broke once more, call me stupid but I was hoping he would at least jump up and down in excitement that he will be a parent.
"Tell me this is not fucking true." Kevin mumbled as a million thoughts seemed to cross his mind.
"Okay, I won't." I was awfully calm for someone whose heart was in pieces at the moment but then again, I am not the type to just shout if I'm not being shouted at.
"You're absolutely sure about this?" Kevin asked in confirmation once more as he looked at the cross on the small device.
"I wouldn't have come here if I wasn't Kevin. I collapsed in the middle of the whole campus to wake up to a doctor telling me I am pregnant and it has been a month." My voice was now raised in annoyance.
Kevin was oblivious to my building rage as he stared at the test in his hand still in disbelief.
"A month? Are you really sure this is my kid? It could be anyone's." He suddenly said. The words stung worse than anything he could've said and there's many cruel things to say in this world.
"An- excuse me??? Are you seriously calling me a slut?!" I found myself shouting at the allegations that this man was throwing at me. How dare he thinks I'm some loose girl who sleeps with anybody!
"Well I don't know you said it! How else could you explain this? I thought you were on a pill." Kevin argues as well in panic of the situation. I couldn't believe him.
"Well, why didn't you use protection if you thought of me as some hooker!" I shouted as I stood up feeling my face turning red with rage.
"I was in the fucking moment! Why didn't you remind me if really you weren't really trying to trap me?!" He argued.
"Because I was in the fucking moment and unlike you I don't fuck anyone I don't have feelings for!" I had not meant to bring up that I had feelings for him but then again, the allegations were painful because it was not the first time I had been seen as some cheap slut just because of how I look.
"You actually thought this was real? You were nothing but another meaningless hookup. You can't expect me to support that baby, you need to get rid of it." If I thought my heart broke before, there is nothing worse he could've said to me. Nothing could beat that.
I mean he keeps proving me wrong so let me not hold my breath.
"Meaningless hookup"
"Get rid of it"
Those geo sentences made me want to start strangling him right then and there or the more sensitive side of me wanted to cry at how painful they were. I found myself sitting back down in defeat as I ran a hand through my hair, all my rage was gone at the moment and I just wanted to curl up in my bed and cry.
"I didn't come here to ask for your support nor am I killing my child. I came here to thank you, for ruining my life Kevin. I'm keeping my baby. Have a good life." This time I spoke in a calmer tone, a tone that sounded like I was holding in a sob. I left no room for argument as I took what was left of my dignity and started getting off from my chair.
I was on a brink of tears but I did not need the people outside seeing me cry. I didn't want that.
"Wait." Kevin spoke when I had turned round ready to head for the door. "If you didn't want my support then you wouldn't have come all the way down here." He says.
And he was right, maybe I didn't want him exactly but I sure wished he was happy to be a father and was hoping I wouldn't have to live in the streets with our child, my child. Instead I came to be belittled and called exactly what many people including my parents had called me.
I turned back around with the same hatred on my face. My green eyes filled with anger and hurt but I wasn't about to show him how he hurt me. That's the one rule i had learned in my life, that I was not to show my hurt because it satisfied my attacker more when I show the effect.
"Here." Kevin says holding his phone towards me. What the heck?
"A phone? What am I supposed to do sell it for abortion money?" I say sarcastically holding the phone up.
"What? No. It's so you can communicate with me. Look, I'm sorry for suggesting that it wasn't right." He apologized? Oh my goodness then everything is right, just perfect! He's forgiven!
"You're apologizing for that but not for calling me a slut and a hooker? Ha! I guess you had a hidden sense of humor." I say with a humorless laugh as I turned back around, about to leave but he shouted by name again.
"Fiona, wait!" I stopped once again to listen to him. "Okay I'm sorry, is that what you want to hear? At least let me drive you back to your place."
"I came here on my own, I can get back." I said in annoyance.
"Fiona, please. When are you going back to school?" He asked.
"I don't know, Kevin, what I do know is that if I don't leave this room that smells like you, I will end up vomiting all over because luckily for me, neither me or my baby like you." I replied before actually leaving the office this time.
It was mostly because my heart was in great pain and all i wanted to do was cry. I felt my face was red and my hair being short did not make things easier as it couldn't conceal my face. I regretted meeting Kevin as much as she regretted cutting my hair.
How could I have been so stupid?
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Well readers, I hope you're ready for the rollercoaster because it just started!