a/n: nothing exciting in this chapter but I had to put something out there. Also, 10k reads ♥
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Y/n
What happened this morning was definitely not how I expected my day to start; the shower water was lukewarm at best with practically nonexistent water pressure, barely a dribble of water coming from the ancient shower head. To add insult to injury, the breakfast they served was about as good as eating last night's leftovers and to top it all off, a little 'two-person pushups' with Simon.
I suppose you could say that I have a little experience when it comes to a bit of 'bedroom rodeo' but doing it with Simon? That was on a whole other level...Raw. Animalistic. Soul-destroying in the best possible way. He calls me 'love' or 'sweetheart' one moment and his whore the next. And I loved it. There was this primal feeling that swept over me the moment we touched each other...Simon's touch was like fire, leaving a trail of heat wherever he went. It felt like it shattered my conception of myself and forged me into a darker, more wicked version of who I once was. The way that gentle touch and rough handling both seemed to combine under his touch. I couldn't help but feel lost in him, lost in the pleasure of it all. He seemed to know each and every single inch of me as if it was committed already to memory. The way his hands held me strong and steady, whilst he tasted everything my body had to offer. He didn't hold back, and that was what I'd wanted. Needed. Somehow, in choosing to let go, I'd never felt more powerful. Strength in weakness, control in submission.
I felt powerless... but in the best possible way. The way that he held on to me and let me slip into his rhythm. It let me feel in complete control of my own body, while at the same time, completely surrendering myself to him. It was euphoric. Pure bliss.
Now, do I regret giving myself to him?
In a way, yes..
Would I do it again?
Fuck yes. No questions asked.
After he satisfied me in every way imaginable then filled me like a fucking cream donut, he quickly changed back into his uniform and bolted out the door to meet with Price. I wasn't bothered that he left so quickly. That's what I wanted. The moment he walked out the door, I felt myself relax. I knew that there was nothing more to speak about. We both were just looking for something quick, and I was ready to give him that. I didn't want to get too attached, so it was the perfect scenario.
I look down at my watch, 1:07pm. I sat up with a groan, feeling the afternoons hunger pangs beginning to gnaw at my stomach, giving me that faint sense of nausea that came with an empty belly. I roll out of bed, slightly wincing as the aftershocks of Simon's onslaught from earlier this morning sent a feeling of shockwaves throughout my lower region. I tried my best to shake off the lingering feelings in order to get out of bed and make myself something to eat.
After tossing on a comfortable pair of clothes, I headed towards the kitchen to grab a bite to eat, but I just happened to pass by the room where Simon and the rest of the 141 were having their meeting. I couldn't help but wonder what was the meeting about. I hated not knowing what was going on and as far as I knew I was assigned with the 141, so technically I am apart of their team right?
The curiosity was beginning to eat away at me and I couldn't help but lean in closer to try and listen to the conversation. I only managed to catch a few words, but it was enough to capture my curiosity.
'Mission'... 'AQ'... 'Y/n'... 'Know?'
It was obvious that they were talking about me and it only served to pique my curiosity even further. What were they saying? What was this 'task?' I needed to know more.
I listen in a little more, trying to catch on to what they're discussing. 'No', I notice it's Simon talking now. I try my best to eavesdrop on the conversation taking place on the other side. I could hear Simon's voice and it seemed like he was giving an update of some kind... But just when I thought I was getting somewhere, the door suddenly opens and I nearly tumbled in.
"Y/n?" Gaz stares at me with a confused look. "Are you good?"
I try my best to hold back my surprise, though I'm sure they knew that I had been listening in on them. "Oh, uh... I was just passing by." I manage to mutter out.
"Good, I was actually on my way to get you. Come in."
After quickly recovering from the shock of almost being caught eavesdropping, I follow Gaz into the room and placed myself between him and Price at the table, just in time to see Simon speaking to Soap.
Price leans in, his lips forming into a warm smile as he asks. "How've you been? You alright?"
"Good actually, a lot better." I give him a genuine smile.
He returns a nod before returning his attention to the rest of the group. "Your new camera operator has made it to the main city. I'll need you to pack up the rest of Caleb's things." He says softly.
A lump forms in my throat when he mentions having to pack up Caleb's things. I take a deep breath, trying my best to stay composed, and let out a slow sigh as a response. "Sure, I'll get his things together."
"I can have them sent back to his fam—"
"No, it's okay. I'd prefer if I returned the rest of his things myself when my contract is over, if that's okay?"
"Sure." He smiles, nodding in acknowledgement and then turns back to the rest of the group, giving me a brief moment to collect my thoughts.
"At this stage air transportation is unlikely. We can't get them in the air right now so we'll have to wait a day or two." He continues.
"Why's that?" I ask.
"SAMs in the area." He says nonchalantly.
I look up at Price and blink once and then twice, waiting for him to translate what he just said into civilian.
Gaz leans down and whispers into my ear. "Service-to-air-missiles." My lips form the perfect 'o' shape as I nod to Gaz.
"We have men not far from the main city, they'll accompany them to ensure they are safely brought here." Price continues.
"Do you know who they're sending?" Gaz asks.
I shrug. "Probably. I just haven't been told who it is. I guess I'll find out when you all do."
"Any female cameramen you have that they might have sent?" Soap asks, lightly chuckling to himself.
"Maybe? Though I don't think the women at our network are into guys with Mohawks." I tease.
"Ouch, the ladies love the Mohawk." He chuckles, running a hand over his head.
"Maybe back in high school?" I tease.
"If that's what they think, hey, it's their loss." He shrugs nonchalantly, a small, mischievous twinkle in his eyes.
I couldn't help but snicker though I knew I shouldn't be too hard on him about his hair. I suppose I should give him a bit of credit too, considering how many women actually used to love the look around my school. The whole 'punk rock' look was very popular at the time, after all. "You've got a point there, but that mohawk does make you look like you still have your high school uniform in the back of your closet somewhere..."
Soap gave me a knowing look in response to my comment and couldn't help but chuckle. "And what's in the back of your closet?" He then gave me a mischievous smile, "Perhaps a... skull mask?"
"Quit tryna shoot your shot Soap, just stick to shooting the bad guys." I give him a small grin.
A wicked smile tugs at Soap's lips, as he gives me a sly look. "Oh you want to talk about shooting 'shots' huh?" He slowly swivels his gaze from me to Simon, before Simon quickly punches him in the chest and soap winces in pain. I couldn't help but let out a small laugh.
"And there's the punchline..." Gaz sighs heavily.
I couldn't help but let out a small laugh in response as I looked over at Simon giving Soap a few well timed jabs, playful of course.
Simon snaps his head over to Soap. "Fun's over. Now shut it."
"Oh c'mon Lt we're just having a little bit of fun." He argues.
"Soap please, the adults are talking." Gaz butts in.
I quickly held my hand over my mouth as the laughter started to get the best of me. I look over at Soap and saw that he was also laughing. He was always good at playing along in these kinds of situations and it was almost impossible to stay serious around him.
"Right." Price's voice cuts through the atmosphere with a firm finality, effectively bringing the conversation to a close. "We all have somewhere we need to be, I suggest we all get to it."
~
"For someone who says you 'pack light', you sure don't seem to understand the meaning of it..." I mumble to myself as I sat on my bedroom floor, sorting through all of Caleb's things. I stared in awe at all of the piles and piles of clothing, shoes, baseball caps and other random items all stuffed within the base drawers and suitcase. It was like Caleb had been hoarding anything he could get his hands on and it was impossible to wrap my head around just how much stuff he had in his possession.
"And I thought I was bad at packing too many things..." I say to myself, shaking my head as I look at the piles of Caleb's belongings taking up much more space than I imagined.
As I kneel on the floor of my bedroom, packing up Caleb's belongings, I couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness as the little keepsakes and memorabilia that we collected over the years of war reporting, the sentimental pieces of our life together that we had held closely and cherished for so long. It all surfaces, bringing with it a flood of emotions that I had long suppressed and kept in check. The little bits of happiness we shared together that I had managed to hold onto for so many years quickly began to crumble, bringing with it a wave of sadness and regret.
I was so immersed in the task of cleaning out Caleb's belongings that I didn't even notice the door clicking closed behind me.
Simon stood motionless by the door before walking towards me, kneeling down. He doesn't speak, at least not yet. His quiet presence is comforting, a sense of calm and stability in the midst of all the chaotic emotions running through my head. His silence speaks volumes, and I find myself letting out a small sigh of relief as I look up at him. He reaches his hand down into the piles of things before me, grabbing a small pin that was from a grenade. He holds it up in front of his eyes, examining it before looking back at me.
"Do I even want to know?" He says.
I huff a giggle. "Our first embedment." I take the pin out of his hand and gently clutch it in my own, a familiar sense of melancholy tugging at my heartstrings.
"The guys at the base thought it would be smart to let Caleb throw his first grenade in training." I let out an amused chuckle at the memory as I reflect on the ridiculous circumstances surrounding the incident. "He pulled the pin and threw it instead of the fucking grenade." I let out a soft laugh as the memory is recalled. "Just goes to show he wasn't meant for that line of work." I say, handing the pin to Simon.
He takes the pin and examines it, turning it over in his hand as he stares at it with a curious expression.
"Why do you keep this?" He looks up at me, a confused expression on his face.
"It was his reminder." I pause for a moment to let him mull it over before continuing. "He wanted one to match mine from that day." I softly state, a small smile on my lips as I look down at the scar along my hip bone.
"I didn't notice that this morning." He chuckles, his thumb gently tracing over the milky white scar.
"Probably because your mind was too clouded with lust to notice." I chuckle, pulling my top back down.
As I look at the little keepsake, it brings back a wave of memories that we once shared. The good times and the bad, the laughter and the pain. It all comes flooding back, and I'm left with a sense of bittersweet longing. The sorrow and the ache of what has been, and what could have been. If only I could turn back the clock. If only things had been different. A small sob catches in my throat, the reality of the situation finally setting in though I conceal my somber emotion with a bitter smile.
"Why do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Paste on that smile but really it's a load of bullshit." He says softly. "But I guess that's just a part of the job, right? Putting on that mask to hide all the pain and sadness that's always lurking underneath."
"Guess we're the same then huh?" I give him a knowing look.
"I want to know what happens when you put that journalist facade away, and do or say whatever the hell pops into your head first."
"You first." I retort. "You wanna talk about hiding behind 'masks' then show me what's underneath yours."
"And show my face?"
"Mhm..." I hum in response.
"I can't do that." He chuckles.
"And why the fuck not?"
"Why does it matter?" He cocks his head to the side. "It's just sex remember? The only thing you need to be worried about is what's below my belt. Which I know for fact you were more than satisfied with."
"Okay, fine." I laugh to myself. "You really wanna know what happens when I don't think before I speak?"
He nods. "Tell me."
"Me telling you to fuck me is what happens."
A low laugh rips through his chest. "Careful, or I might just put your words to the test."
"Your acting like there's going to be a next time."
"Who says there won't be?" He gives a small chuckle, a twinkle in his eye as he gives me a knowing look. "Let's just say... you left an impression."
I give a low hum. "Was it a good one?"
"Can't remember...maybe I need a reminder."
"What, so you can ignore them like the last time?" I chuckle.
"Ah right, those 'professional boundaries' you reminded me of." He says, air quoting his fingers on professional boundaries.
"Exactly.. but, I guess I needed it."
"Needed what?"
"To feel something, anything. Ever since Caleb died, all I've felt is numb, nothing." I bite the bottom of my lip. "I just needed to forget everything for at least a few minutes."
"I think I lasted a lot longer than just a few minutes." He raises an eyebrow.
"Mhmmm." I respond, the corner of my mouth twitching slightly though not sparing a look his way as I continued to pack Caleb's things into boxes.
"Why don't you leave his things for now, we can sort it out later." He suggests.
"Can't, I have to get the room ready for the new guy." I huff.
"What if I give them my room, and I move in here."
I drop what I'm doing, giving him a confused look. "And announce to the entire base that we're sleeping together? No thanks." I laugh.
"They're not going to think anything of it."
"How are you so sure huh?" I give him a knowing look. "I'm sure Soap already knows from what he said back there."
"He's just making assumptions to go along with his little narrative in his head."
"So he knows?"
"He may have an idea, but he doesn't know what happened here this morning." He assures. "That boy is not the sharpest knife in the drawer."
I huff a giggle at his comment about Soap. "I hope your right..." I say with a coy smile.
"Why are you so bothered about what others think?"
"It's not that.." I sigh. "It's just, people won't take me seriously if I'm emotionally invested in the subjects I'm supposed to be covering."
He low rumble emits from his. "So you do like me." He says slowly.
I huff a laugh, smiling to myself. "Like you? What are we back in middle school?" I scoff.
He cocks his head to the side. "Check yes or no." He says with a slight tone of mischief.
I let out a slow sigh, folding my arms over my chest. "Okay..." I smirk up at him. "Maybe..."I shrug.
"Maybe wasn't an option—"
"Then no." I spoke over him before he could finish his sentence, swiftly turning on my heel to continue packing Caleb's things though he catches me before I could turn myself away completely.
"No?" He says softly. His hands reaching up to cup my face, thumb gently tracing over my bottom lip.
I scoff. "What's the matter? You don't like hearing the word no?"
He leans in closer, his forehead grazing against my own. "Not from that mouth I don't."
As Simon leans in closer and whispers into my ear, I couldn't help but get the feeling that he was trying to insinuate something. I then gave him a small, dismissive chuckle as I reply. "You're a real charmer you know that? Always coming up with those sweet nothings to get what you want, huh?"
"Having you this morning..." He groans. "That's put a target on your back." He adds. "In the end, I always get what I want." As he leans even closer, he quickly speaks into my ear once again, his lips grazing so close to mine that I can feel his warm breath against my skin. He whispers ever so softly, barely more than a purr. "Always."
I stare up at him with a teasing gleam in my eye for a few moments, before eventually letting out a small chuckle as a way to break the tension and divert his attention elsewhere. "Speaking of targets... I'm sure there's some that could use those... bullets of yours." I then gave another laugh and turn back packing Caleb's things, signaling that I was ready to stop playing our little games and get back to my task at hand. Perhaps it was for the best, as the longer we kept talking the more distracted I seemed to become.
As he turns to walk away, he gives that small chuckle, a hint of playfulness in those eyes. He gives one last look over his shoulder, as if to signal that he was enjoying this little back and forth and I couldn't help but feel that there was a certain element of charm to him that I couldn't quite put my finger on. He then continues on his way, leaving me to my work as I let out one last chuckle and shake my head in disbelief at the exchange that had just taken place.
Who was I kidding. The whole 'professional boundaries' shit I had reminded him constantly about went out the fucking window this morning. I have a little under six months left of my contract here, why not enjoy it?
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