"So how are you and Lizzie?" Alyssa asks. We're currently on our way to Jake's apartment and I mean, that boy is just a ball of energy when I called him earlier which makes me hype as well in spite of the little left of the hangover I got earlier. I smiled.
"We've made up." I simply said and shrugged.
"That's it?" She gave me a nudge and I chuckle. "I hate when you do this"
"What? We had made in to terms that if it ever comes out. Then we'll just have to deal with it. The paparazzi, the press and everything that comes with it. Its hard to convince her but I really can't live like this forever you know." I sighed before glancing at her seeing a small smile on her face. "It's pretty exhausting and draining having to deal with the past and the present all at the same time and this is the only way I can stop that. It'll not be pretty, it would be hard process but I'm ready for it not just for me, but for her and the both of us."
"That is just— Sometimes you really blew me away." She says and I chuckle.
"Why?"
"I don't know, you've changed really, for the better though. This is a different Shannon I'm seeing now." She shrugs and somehow I agree. With all the stories about how I was before, I can really say that I'm not her anymore and I won't be that messed up Shannon anymore. Maybe that accident is a blessing in disguise or what. I know its brutal to think that but it got me here. It gave me a second chance and for a bonus, it gave Elizabeth and I another chance and that doesn't happen in most people.
"I'm not her anymore Alyssa. I won't go back to that. I won't risk it for us." I say putting my heart on my sleeve. I smile to myself as my girlfriend invades my thoughts again, playing reruns of us in my head.
"I can see that. You and Elizabeth are meant to be together. Your relationship is one hell of a destiny kind of story if you ask me. Its incredible. If the public finds about that then you two will definitely own headlines again." I let out a soft chuckle.
"Maybe we really are meant for each other if you could say that, in any universe." I winked at her and she smiles nodding her head.
We finally made it to Jake's apartment and a minute pass when I texted him that we're at the front, I swear he came running out of the building with a camera on his hand and this actually made me smile.
"Hey! How are you?" He says a bit enthusiastic and full of energy at this time of the day as soon as he settles down at the backseat. Are all Olsen siblings morning persons because damn, I haven't met one that still sleeps after six or seven in the morning.
"I'm good" I smiled turning to him. "Oh right, Jake meet Alyssa, she's my manager. Alyssa, Jake, Elizabeth's brother." Jake reaches out a hand to Alyssa and says,
"Jake, I'm sorry for being a bit obnoxious at the moment but I'm really a fan of Shannon's so this is like a dream." Alyssa giggles and shakes Jake's hand.
"Well, you're not even the slightest. It's really nice to meet you Jake." They shook hands as I start driving.
"Where's Lizzie?" He asks leaning against the back of Alyssa's seat looking at me. I glanced at him through the rear view mirror
"She has work later, but she did packed us some lunch its in the back."
"Oh I missed her cooking. Its so good." Hearing that makes me wonder, why did they drift apart. But I didn't asked further about that. I figured its not my place since I'm still just her girlfriend. "This is a fucking dream really, thank you for letting me tag along with you guys, even after what happened in Jarnie's house." Hearing that makes me think about it. I don't really remember much of what happened and how did I even get in the car with Trent on the driver's side. All I remember was one thing I was face to face with Elizabeth's asshole of a dad and the next I was already seated talking to Elizabeth at the back of Trent's car on our way home. Guessing, Jake doesn't know anything about the accident, I played it safe and just said,
"That's different. It has nothing to do with you and besides I kinda need an apprentice if that's what you call it." He smiles widely and gives me a tap on my shoulder.
"You know, I don't believe its true, what Dad said that night." He suddenly said with a tone of guilt in his voice
"What?"
"You know, when he said you were like using my sisters for your career, something like that." I felt my cheeks heat up instantly with rage because I can still hear him say that loud and clear. "Dad never really understood working behind the camera. Basically, the stuff we do. He wanted me to become like him in a real estate business because he didn't get to do that with Trent, knowing he's much stronger when it comes to his decisions in life."
That's true though, Trent is a very independent man who sticks by his decisions no matter what. He doesn't care about anyone or anything, if he has a goal. Its a bit selfish but in a good way, I guess. But I love that dude so much.
What I found out today is that Jake really likes to talk. He goes on talking about his recent projects and what he wanted to learn on this shoot. He also told me he knew I was with Elizabeth a long time ago he just didn't got the chance to reach out to Elizabeth the moment he found out about me, because when he did. We've broken up. I tried to keep up with his stories to be honest but its too much information in my head that I shut him down completely and I didn't got what he was saying halfway to our location.
On set, Kevin is talking to Leah, our editor. He's wearing a suit and in a deep conversation with Leah. Liz is talking to Kristi on the couch who she'd be partnering with. When she saw us walked in on set, she waves and smiles before standing up and announcing our presence.
"Haven't seen you around for ages. God I missed you." She says taking me in for a hug.
"Yea, how's Zoe?" I asked pulling away before she could even answer Kevin goes up to me and literally jumps on me laughing.
"Oh Beveridge, I thought you were never going to come." He says letting me go.
"What? when did I ever backed out of anything especially for you guys." I say and he shakes his head laughing.
"Oh who's your friend?" He gestured to Jake who smiles.
"Oh right, sorry. This is Jake, he's my assistant. Needed an extra hand and also he's Elizabeth's brother." Kevin smiles and shakes his hand.
"Really cool set" He says looking around.
"Well, its called Pool house so—" Okay this is getting awkward. So I say,
"Where will we set up?" Kevin pointed the spot where Leah is so we went over and start setting up.
"So this is really happening?" Jake says and I glanced at him looking so disbelief at the moment and I smiled. He's a baby and I think I'm going to have fun hanging out with him from time to time.
"Yup, this is happening." I say and he smiles, probably the biggest yet and that just makes me feel good
——————
"That was absolutely amazing!" Jake says as soon as we're all settled in the car after saying goodbye to Kevin. Its already midnight and I am so tired but I really had fun doing that. Jake is really a good assistant. He listens and also contributed a few great ideas. He's focused on what he was doing making it easier for me to teach him the basics.Well, judging by his energy right now, I think I've fulfilled my duty on giving him a great time.
"I really want to do that again." He continues kind of bouncing up and down on his seat like a child who just got the best time at Disneyland. I would like to say more like Rose but she was knocked off after we went last time.
"Well you can be my assistant every—"
"Wait what? no way." I start the engine a smile forming in my face before I glanced up to look at him through the rear view mirror.
"Yea sure why not. You really did good for starters." I shrugged as I start to drive out of the parking lot. He was silent until he cheers and held me by the shoulders shaking me
Bright Light! Crash!
"Shannon!" I jolt in my seat as I feel an impact on my bad shoulder while my feet hit the breaks. A loud angry horn shoots right past through my ear and ringing. I see blood.
"Hey, Shannon. Oh my God." I opened my eyes as I hear the gear turning and adjust my vision its blurry and voices echoes in my ear. A car door slammed and my side of the door opens. I can't fucking move and my heart is racing out of my chest.
"Hey, Shannon. You okay?" I hear Jake's muffled voice as I see him in front of me. Wait, he's okay. "What happened?"
"You're not suppose to do that!" A seatbelt clicked and I felt cold hands on my cheek. Alyssa.
"What?" Jake whispers.
"Shan? Hey Shan look at me." I am, Am I? I see her but its too blurry so I scrunched my eyes trying to adjust my vision. My eyes moving around and flashes of glass scattered everywhere kept appearing. What the fuck is happening? Did I do it again, did I crash the car again?
"You hearing me?" I nod my vision starting to clear up. "You're okay. We're okay. Alright?"
"D-Did I—"
"No, we're fine, but you're not driving anymore." She says and as I look around, I realized we're still in the middle of the parking lot facing the wrong way, I swerved the car?
"I'm sorry, Shannon." My face turn to look at Jake who is looking so confused and worried and more confused, but slightly winced at the sudden pain on my right shoulder "I didn't— I don't know what's going on. Are you okay?" My heart starts beating fast again. The kind of nerves that makes me think of how do I handle this. Like should I say the truth, or lie about it or make some kind of excuse again.
"Yea, I'm fine." I let out a nervous chuckle and before it gets too awkward Alyssa saves me again and says.
"I'll drive, Move!" Jake backs away giving me some space and help me out. I then instantly see black tire marks across the parking lot at the same time I hear my name being called. Its Kevin.
"I thought you guys left, everything okay?" He yells from across the parking lot.
"Yea, everything's fine. We're going now, take care you guys." I yelled back trying not to sound so suspicious that I' m literally shaking right now and holding on to Jake's shoulder for support. I think he needs to know but I don't really know how Elizabeth would feel like if I said it to him. Even though we agreed on something, I still feel like I need some kind of approval from her, which I shouldn't have.
"Are you okay?" I turn to Jake and meet his worried eyes. "You're shaking"
"I'm just tired, get in."
"I'll help you get to the passenger seat—"
"No I'm good, go on get in." I withdraw my hand from his shoulders and held my car for support instead as I start to make my way to the passenger seat.
"You need to tell Lizzie" Alyssa says as soon as we were settled down. She turns the engine back on and hands me my phone from the holder before she starts driving and getting us out of the parking lot.
"Alyssa—"
"If you won't tell her I would." I must've scared the hell
out of her because she's breathing a bit heavier than the usual. I glanced at the time seeing it's quarter to one. She said she might be going home late so if we finished the shoot first then I should get home and wait for her there instead. I look at Jake who is still staring at me probably so confused on what is going on.
"Shan" I sighed and dialed Elizabeth's number the knot in my stomach tightening as I hear the ring. If she won't pick up then that means she's still shooting but if she—
"Hi honey" Comes her tired but cheery voice still. Guess, she's on a break or something.
"Uh-hi sweetheart, we're on our way home. Are you done with the shoot?" I asked and Alyssa mouths 'Tell her'. I really want to tell her I do but not right now since I know what her reaction will be and its not going to be good. So I shake my head slightly and this caused her to slap my leg making me flinch.
"We're packing up as well, just finished the most chaotic scene with Benedict and right now I just want to go home and cuddle with you. How's the shoot?" She asks and I'm still on a silent banter with Alyssa on whether I should tell her or not.
"Uh yea- it was good. It went well, Jake's a natural." I glanced at Jake a small smile on his face but still his eyes convincing me to just spit it out. So I guess, its two against one.
"Is everything alright? I hear a lot of grumbling." Alyssa mouths 'I'll tell her' before attempting to grab my phone so I move away so she would miss it.
"Yea, everything's good" I say and mouthed to Alyssa 'Watch the road.' and then she yells.
"Lizzie Shannon had a flash back!" My eyes widen at that and automatically raise my hand to cover the mouthpiece but its too late as I hear Elizabeth says.
"What? Is that Alyssa? What about a flash back?"
"Nothing, what flashback?" I tried to sound nonchalant but when it comes to this, she wouldn't just let go of the subject. Another slap on my leg.
"Is Alyssa with you? Where are you right now? Jake, is he with you?" She says in a serious tone and I know she won't drop this until she gets to speak with Alyssa, because basically she doesn't fucking believe me and I probably don't sound convincing as well.
"Yes they're here—"
"Put me on speaker right now" Oh shit.
"Bab—"
"Right now" She demands and I found myself putting my phone on speaker earning a look from Alyssa.
"Babe, you're on speaker" I say.
"Good, now Alyssa, what did you say a while ago about a
flashback?" I sigh and placed my phone on the holder and sat back on my seat. Now its my turn to stay quiet and just hope for the best she won't fucking freak out without me there with her.
Alyssa told her what happened. What Jake did, and the aftermath of it. I glanced at Jake through the rear view mirror and he has guilt spread across his face as Alyssa tells the story which I feel so bad about it. Its not really his fault. He doesn't know anything, it was an accident. His confused and a bit shaken up eyes meets mine and I shake my head mouthing the words 'not your fault' but he shakes his head and buts in.
"Lizzie, I don't understand, what is going on?"
"Jake, I need you to drive Shannon to the house coming from Alyssa's so we could talk about what happened. I can't let her drive on her own. You can spend the night if you want, I don't care, then I can drive you back home in the morning before I go to work." I sunk down to my seat feeling like a child that needs to be taken care of and I hate it. I feel another time out from driving Chase or any car is coming and I'm not looking forward to it.
"Okay, got it." I zoned out after that. Maybe I should tell him. For once maybe I should be the one to tell the truth about me. I'm really sick of this. I'm tired of this cycle going over and over again it doesn't fucking end. Something happens and she would take care of it leaving me out like she's responsible for it making me feel like this is wrong and I fail at pretending someone I am fucking not.
The call ends and no one speaks and it the silence is louder in my head.
"I'm sorry Shannon but she needs to know." I hear Alyssa says, and I just gave her a nod. I know she's just looking out for me with everything and the truth slowly rising back up to the surface. That's what they do right?
"I had a deadly car accident two years ago." I blurt out all of a sudden before I could even stop myself from saying it.
"Shannon"Alyssa says while Jake says "What?" simultaneously. There it is, its out there so I continue.
"in Dallas. I don't remember anything from my life back in 2019 not even a relationship with your sister. I thought I've recovered from that but going back here in LA and finding out about that just sends me back to the past not having a clue that Elizabeth has her own trauma of what had happened between us so I have to pretend that nothing happened and everything's normal and that we just made up after two years and got back together all that shit, just to make her feel better and not cause a panic attack or what but— I'm fucking tired of all of it really. Sometimes I wish that the truth would just reveal itself so that it would all be over." I sighed and glanced at Jake who is in utter shock about what I just said, trying to process everything.
"So that's what happened." I sighed before looking out the window and zone out again.