~~Jaiveer~~
All day, Neeraj Bhai's words kept on whirling in my mind. Though I have been sitting in front of my system all day and also numerous papers were scattered on my desk waiting for me to review them, I just couldn't concentrate on them. I clearly understood what Neeraj Bhai meant but I couldn't understand how to implement his idea. How to make her understand? Where to start? How to start?
With all the thinking I have been doing since morning, a mild pain started creeping in my brain. Leaving everything, I walked out of my cabin and into the canteen.
Since it's just past an hour from lunch, there aren't many people gathered around. Ordering myself a coffee, I walked up to an empty table near the glass wall and flopped down on a chair. The warm liquid that leaked down through my throat made me feel refreshed for a bit.
Still wondering where and how I should start with Advika, I decided to at least note down the things we do daily, situations we face each other. Maybe then I can have an overview?
Setting the coffee cup down on the table, I picked up the menu paper that was spread on the table. Turning it around I found it empty on the other side.
I immediately grabbed a pen from my coat and started pointing down the things from start of the day to end.
1. Wake up.
As soon as I wrote that down, my self-consciousness kicked me hard. Even this morning, Advika and I woke up in different rooms. Advika in our room and I in my study room. I have been still sleeping in my study room. It is not at all an appreciable thing. I need to move back to our room. But again… I still have no ideas to replace the couch that I destroyed. Because if I do that, Advika will again start sleeping on the couch. I can't let that happen.
But I also can't keep on sleeping in the other room, right? So, I need to move back. But.. do we.. do we … need to share the bed??!
For freaking sake!!! She is your wife!!
My subconscious screamed at me making my head bleed. Ok, ok. No need to scream. I now know and have accepted that. But, will Advika agree to that? To share a bed with me?
Speak to her… whatever you want..
Neeraj Bhai’s words resonated in my ears.
Why not try speaking with her? Hardly she could say, is no and then I could simply go back to my study room, right?
I uncertainly moved to the next point.
2. Getting ready.
Daily, early in the morning when I get back to room Advika wakes up by that time. She then freshens up and at that time, I sleep back on my bed. I wake up only when she gets ready, clean Adiraj and go down with him. Sometimes, we bump into each other when I need to go early and freshen up parallel to her. Now, why not use that time to spend it with them? We can start having some small talks, right? Maybe I can also help her in getting Adiraj freshened up?
I liked this idea.
Smiling, I moved to the next point.
3. Breakfast.
During breakfast, I can know her likes and dislikes, right? They can come in handy in future.
4. Going to the office.
I stopped after writing this. Actually, we go to offices separately. Advika on her scooty and I, in my car. Maybe…. I can drop her and pick her up? But… she prefers driving herself around!! Then how can I pick her and drop her!! I need to think of something.
5. Lunch.
I think it's time for me to start taking her out for lunch and dinner. But, maybe it can wait for a few days.
6.Dinner.
Because of our work, Advika and I rarely have dinner together. I need to change that. Recently, I started finishing my work early and going back home early to spend time with my Pooh. I also need to use that time to spend with Advika and have dinner together.
7. Sleep.
Just like I thought above, we need to start sharing a bed.
After writing down all these points, I set my pen down. Are these the only things that a couple does in common? No, right? This thought made me think of the times that I spent with Akki. The thighs we shared. The thoughts we shared. The things we had in common. Everything. Every damn thing, making my heart squeeze tight in pain. But I immediately shook my head trying to flee the thoughts away.
I don’t deserve her. She deserves better. And moreover it has to be only Advika now. The woman who blindly held my hand walked into my house.
Setting the paper aside, I again picked up the coffee cup. It’s still a bit warm. Taking a sip, I again felt refreshed.
“Listen to her….. Whatever she speaks….
Speak to her…. Whatever you want…..
Share with her…. Whatever you have….”
“Be attentive to her words, Jai. Spend time with her. Understand her in and out. Try everything that is in your will power to make her understand that you’re gonna stick around.”
Advika and never had a proper conversation apart from needed. In all these days, we also neer shared anything. About our lives, our feelings. Nothing much. Actually, that sharing comes from trusting. We never had that. Though I know that I can trust her, I just never cared about that. I also never bothered giving her an opportunity to trust me.
I need to change those. Change many things between us.
Right from the way we communicate to the way we share our thoughts.
From the way we usually avoid each other to the way where we stick to each other.
From the way where we feel uncomfortable with each other to the way where we feel safe, secured, loved and cherished with each other.
Haye!!! There are many things that need to be done!!
And sitting here and brainstorming is not going to work. I better move my a**.
So, I immediately stood up. I picked that menu paper, folded it and paced in my coat pocket along with my pen. I grabbed the coffee cup and threw it in the trash can. I then sort of raced to my cabin, determined to finish work early and go home early.
By 7 in the evening, I completed all my urgent works and wrapped up for the day. Ignoring my assistant, who entered with another new file, I exited my office.
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Killing in the engine in our garage, I hopped out of my car. There is no sight of Advika’s scooty in the garage. I looked at my watch and it read, 7.45 P.M. She and I don't really have timing sense.
I picked up my phone from my pants pocket and dialed one of our guards whom I assigned with Advika.
“Mam is still dealing with clients, sir.” He responded.
“Ok. Bring her back safely.” I then cut the call.
Walking up into the living room, I found Maa and Papa on the living room sofa while my little Pooh was roaming around in his little car.
“Pooh!!” I called him.
Hearing me, he immediately stopped his car, got down and ran towards me. Picking him up, I started tickling him. His silently gigged and his happy face made me feel relaxed.
“Jai, Advika still isn’t home. She might be late. You go and freshen up. I'll serve you dinner.”
At Maa’s words, I looked at her, “I asked her guards. Apparently she still has some customers with her. And also, let her come. We can have dinner together.”
At my words, both Maa and Papa looked at me surprised. Ok, this is actually a surprise for me too. Wanting to avoid their reaction, I looked away.
“That's a good thing to hear. At least go and freshen up.” At Papa’s words, I looked at him and noticed a gentle smile on his face.
Maybe this is going to be good.
Maybe. I hope so.
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