Natalie's POV
As I held Nikolas so close, I couldn't help the way my heart shattered into fragments. His head rested over my lap and I soothingly ran my fingers through the soft strands of his dark hair. Even when passed out, he still looked so distraught and tormented. Stressful lines have etched themselves over his forehead, in between his eyebrows, and at the corner of his mouth, reflecting an inner struggle; of how his spirit got dulled by anguish's touch, and how this cruel world had left him broken and wounded so many times.
Sometimes, I feel that no matter what I'll do or how hard I'll try, I will never be able to fully help him get through this messiness. Sometimes, I get this negative thought that maybe...maybe he is beyond fixation, but I dismiss it right away because I should be the person who thinks everyone could overcome everything...
I sniffled and brought my other hand to my face, wiping away the tears that managed to escape through. It's been more than an hour since Alex knocked him down, and I've done nothing but sit here and watch over him, unable to do or even think before he wakes up and I get the chance to check up on him.
After our little encounter in the bedroom, I didn't see Alex again. He was somewhere around the house, waiting for Nik to wake up as well, but he made sure we don't come face to face again after the words we exchanged. To be honest, I'd rather not see him either...
Using one hand to run it through his hair, I rested my other one over his arm, watching the way his fingers twitched slightly every now and then. A low heavy breath left my lungs and I couldn't fathom what kind of dreams he must be having now after all that happened. I brought my hand closer and I rested it over his palm. Then I wrapped my fingers around his hand, tightening my grip and trying to reach for him and pull him back to me somehow. It took him a second or two before he wrapped his fingers around mine, holding my hand even in his deep sleep.
A small somber smile pulled at my lips and I leaned down, pressing a soft kiss over his temple, "I am right here," I whispered to him, hoping for all of his nightmares to vanish once and for all.
After half an hour or so, I felt him stir slightly. His head moved and all of my attention was on him only as he tried to blink and kick himself awake. I gently ran my hand over his hair, "Nik," I whispered, still not sure of which state of mind he will wake up with.
He brought his hand to his face, rushing it over his eyes as he pulled his body up, moving his head away from my lap. He rubbed his fingers over his temples, wincing slightly at an apparent headache. I swallowed hard, my eyes on him as I edged closer. The side of my arm bumped with his and his eyelids glided open. He lifted them up to look at me, confusion flickered all over his gaze as he tried to gather his thoughts, "What hap-" He started to say before the events of today came rushing back with a bang.
I carefully rested my hand over his cheek, my fingers gently rubbing at the area under his eyes, "Hey, how are you feeling now?"
Bewilderment at every memory flashed right through his eyes and they flickered from my face down to my neck, focusing over the very clear red marks his tight grip from before had left. A storm of pain and despair wreaked havoc within those tortured green eyes, a reflection of heartache too heavy for anyone to bear. He instantly backed away from my touch and my hand fell down as he hurriedly got up to his feet, purposely moving away from me.
"Nik...Nikolas, wait," I said, getting up to my feet as well and I followed him as he headed out of the room, going toward an unknown destination, just to run away from me.
He halted to a sudden stop when he reached the hallway, and that's when I noticed Alex, who was standing on the other end, across from him. I moved closer, wanting to reach for him, but, "Natalie, stay back," Alex said, raising his hand up in defense, his eyes on Nik, assessing his state wholly, not sure of what he could do next.
I shook my head, my eyes focused on Nikolas's very tense back, standing there in the middle between us. He is scared. "No, it's okay-" I mumbled, sure that he won't hurt me, and I was about to step closer but Alex's commanding gaze pushed me backward.
"Nikolas, who am I?" Alex asked him, his tone part playful and part serious, "Who does this handsome face belong to?" He pointed at his own face then rolled his eyes when he added, "The face that you managed to bruise, of course."
Nikolas's shoulders shook slightly, a tremor coursing through his being. His hands on the side fisted and unfisted with every passing second. His eyes were wide, bewildered, and pained as they focused on Alex, trying to understand everything that unraveled within the last couple of hours.
When Nik stayed silent, "What's my name?" Alex asked again, his eyebrow arching in utter mockery, "And if you dare call me Frank again, I am going to go batshit crazy on you!"
Air harshly pushed out of Nikolas's chest but he said no word. He resumed his steps, silent as he passed by Alex's side and climbed up the stairs, running away from the both of us and I knew exactly why he needed to be away. He was scared of the mere thought that he might not be in control and that he might hurt us again...
I needed to reassure him otherwise and decided to follow him. Just as I was about to take my first step up the stairs, Alex's hand reached for my arm, gentle as he stopped me. I turned to look at him and his eyes flickered from me to Nikolas who had just disappeared into his room, "Let me talk to him first," He said, his voice neutral, not commanding, just requesting.
I wanted to fight him on it and on everything but I decided against it for now. Without speaking, I nodded my head and took a step backward, giving him the space to get up first. He nodded his head, "Thank you," He mumbled, and a bit of hesitation clouded his gaze as he recalled our last conversation, maybe blaming himself for seeing the worst in me but he said nothing else and I kept my mouth shut for everyone's sake.
***************
Nikolas's POV
I dropped over the bed's edge and rested my throbbing head into my palms, trying to calm down my distressed nerves and hoping to ease some of the pulsing waves rocking against my skull. I wanted to be alone, to be away from everyone till I sort through this, but well, I never get what I want, do I?
The door opened and someone stepped in, invading my space and I knew it was Alex for sure. He closed the door behind him and inched closer, stopping only when he reached my side. The mattress dipped beside me and I let out a loud annoyed sigh, "Leave me alone, Alex."
"Not a chance in heaven," He said back and I certainly didn't feel like a shitty brother for punching him earlier. He had earned it many times before.
I lifted my head up and turned it to look at him. He gave me a sheepish smile, "I was kidding about what I said earlier," He started to say and pointed at his bruise, "I mean I did punch you back, so we are even there."
Lines etched between his eyebrows, "Though calling me Frank...that hurt me deep, man," He added, his face twisting into an uncomfortable expression, "Don't do that again, please."
My gaze flickered to the side of his jaw, where my punch had left a small cut, one that wasn't bleeding anymore, but a portion of the skin surrounding it had changed color into red and slight purple due to the impact. I swallowed hard and my hand fisted over my thigh, "I am sorry," I mumbled before I looked away.
"Hey, it's okay, it's not like you did it on purpose," He said with a duh tone, "You didn't, right?" He added with a playful tone, "I mean, I know that I play on your nerves a lot and annoy you most of the time but you love me for that, don't you?"
I sighed and nodded my head, going on with his nonsense, "Yeah, yeah, I sure do."
He seemed satisfied at that answer and he smiled before he threw his arm around my shoulders, "See, we're okay, we've got our own sibling dynamic thingy going on."
He tapped his hand over my shoulder, "Although if you go to my house again without me being there again, I am gonna punch you really hard this time, that you really won't be able to make kids anymore," He added, and even though he tried to make it as playful as he could, I knew that he meant it. He was right nevertheless, I crossed a line by going there. The rules were clear in our so-called sibling dynamic and I broke one by dropping there unannounced.
"I am sorry if I made her uncomfortable," I mumbled, looking down at my lap.
"No, she was just confused," He said, addressing the whole conversation with a somewhat neutral normal tone and that left me slightly baffled because usually, we don't bring Cara into any of our conversations unless we are fighting, "If she was feeling uncomfortable, she would've been the one to punch you really hard," He added and I turned to him.
He smiled and shrugged, "My cupcakes can handle herself."
I nodded my head, believing in those words as well. Seeing her today, the way she let me speak and ask what I went there to ask for, and the way she answered and explained it to me, is all just proof of how well she can handle herself. I wish I could have an ounce of that strength, maybe I will be able to handle all of this without breaking over every time.
"Anyway, are you feeling better now?" Alex asked and I shook my head, "I need my pills, Alex."
He nodded, "I know, they're at your office," He said and I shook my head, "I am not drinking the ones Ronald brought from god knows where," I said, my jaw tightening because I still blame him for this madness.
Alex shook his head, "I checked them, Nikolas," He said, "Emma and I had them all tested, they are all the ones that you usually use," He added before he pulled the small bottle from his pocket, "Except this one," He showed it to me, "This one single bottle that you were carrying with you, this is the only...defective one."
My jaw tightened as I tried to think of how Isaac was able to exchange this one bottle. My tired brain came up with one name only; Ronald. It's the only one that made sense to me now and I will prove myself either right or wrong once I get there and have my talk with him.
"I should go there, then," I mumbled and Alex suggested, "I can drop you there if you want."
I shook my head, "No, I can drive, I am better now," I said. No hallucinations yet; Haven't seen Cara, Isaac, or Frank since I woke up, so I think I am okay, "Just wait for me, I need to change and we can head out together," I urged and he understood my motives rather fast.
His eyebrow arched, "Scared to stay alone with Natalie?"
I nodded my head, "I hurt her, Alex," I mumbled, the thought ripping through my chest and burning me deep like wildfire enveloping the entirety of me, "I don't know if I can face her now, or face myself even."
"She knows you didn't mean to do that, that it was the drug only," Alex tried to make it easier but he failed, nothing will make the fact that I am capable of hurting her any easier.
"Just give me five minutes and we can head out," I changed the subject and got up to my feet, going for the bathroom to wash up my face and kick off the remnants of this horrible day.
Alex waited for me downstairs as I quickly changed my clothes. I went down, ready to head out but Natalie's eyes fell on me and she inched closer instantly, blocking my way before I got the chance to escape. Worry still echoed in her eyes and voice, "You're leaving too?"
I nodded my head, my answer tightening the lines over her forehead and she requested, "Can I come too?"
"It's better if you don't," I mumbled and her throat bobbed at my indirect refusal, her eyes saddened and she nodded, understanding that I wanted to be away from her for now.
"Will you come back later tonight?" She asked and I nodded my head, "I will wait for you, then," She said and I shook my head, "It might be very late, so don't wait up," I urged, my gaze involuntarily flickering to her neck and my jaw ticked. I looked away instantly unable to bear the thought, I wanted to scream at own self and at everything.
Sadly, she took a step backward and I wanted nothing more than to wrap her in my arms but I couldn't think logically at all right now so I was better off far away from her. "Okay, bye," She whispered, and I fought all of my instincts as I turned away from her and left the house.
**************
The office was empty when I walked in and for that fact I was thankful. I wasn't in the right state of mind to deal with anyone or anything. I took my pills, trusting Alex on his words, and settled down on my chair, waiting for the effect to take over and rid me of today's stress.
But of course, I wasn't going to get that anytime soon. Why? Because I have two siblings whose each is more annoying than the other.
Emma barged into the office unannounced and stopped across the desk from me. She rested one of the cartoon cups in her hands over the desk and she flashed me a big smile, "I got you coffee!"
I looked up at her and resisted the urge to kick her out, "It's night."
She nodded, "So?" She brought the other cup to her lips and took a sip, "You look like you could use the energy," Actually, I could use hours and hours of sleep but since I won't be getting that for sure, I reached for the damned cup and took my first sip.
"It's gloomy in here, let's go walk outside," She suggested.
"Emma," I grated out, not in the mood for anything; Not walking, not her, not talking...
"Come on, it will be fun, you can tell me about how you hallucinated about our father and uncle, and I will tell you how I stabbed my husband in the stomach," She said, her tone as sarcastic as it can get. Considering the way things got unwrapped after our encounter earlier today, I haven't had the chance to talk to her about all of that.
Letting out a low sigh, I grabbed my cup and got up, knowing she will not leave me be. We walked by each other's side as we left the office and went upstairs into the open air.
"Is Roman okay?" I asked, not because I cared for his wellbeing, I was just trying to shift the conversation far away from me.
"I don't know," She mumbled lowly, a hint of sadness radiated from her voice and it had me turn to look at her. She nervously ripped at the edges of the cartoon cup she was holding, "He stormed off after what happened and I haven't been able to reach him ever since, he hasn't come home yet, and he turned his phone off," She let out a low sigh and her sad eyes met mine, "I think he just needs to be away from me for now."
Coldness rushed all around us and I took a sip of my drink as we kept walking into the night, the streets were empty with just the two of us, aimlessly walking, hoping to reach some unknown destination by the end of this messy road.
"So, Matilde, huh?" I asked and Emma groaned in annoyance, "I should've just killed her."
"You did do your number on her though," I pointed out.
"She deserves much worse," Emma added, and even though she didn't speak of it, I now understand it better, the immense turmoil that place had left on her. I wanted her to tell me all about it but I didn't force her. Like me, I knew she would only address it when she feels ready. Like me, she didn't like to speak of the past at all.
So instead of firing off a hundred different questions she didn't need to hear, I reached for her. I placed my arm around her shoulders and tucked her closer to me, "Don't worry, I already added Matilde's name to my list."
She chuckled, "Who is on that list, anyway?" She asked, our conversation heading toward a more playful place because we both just needed a damn break.
"Well, number one is Isaac, of course," I said in a matter-of-fact tone, "Two, is Ronald, thought he could become number one soon," Emma chuckled but I was kind of serious, "Three is Joseph," I said and Emma nodded, understanding that one as well, "Four is now Matilde and five is that stupid cat living in my house."
Emma laughed and leaned into me, "God, do you remember when our lives were normal," She said, then she lifted her head to look up at me, her eyebrow raising, "Oh wait, but we never had that, did we?"
I shook my head, "This is our normal, Emma."
She sighed and kept leaning into me, almost like she needed it. I lowered my head down and pressed a kiss over the top of her head, my arm tight around her back, "It's gonna be okay, just think of one year from now, everything could be so different then." It was funny, how I was giving someone hope when I lacked it myself.
She let out a low dreamy sigh, "Yeah, imagine," She said, "In a year, hopefully, Isaac would be dead so I won't be always on my nerves and scared. Matilde will be dead too, so I would be able to process that past trauma the right way I should," She added, building many dreams, "I would've probably gathered the courage to talk with Vivian, I would've asked her about my mother by then, and learned more about where I come from," She said and I allowed her to speak all of my her inner thoughts and dreams out loud without interrupting, "Roman would've probably gotten used to my craziness and accepted me for the messy thing that I am," A small smile lifted the corner of her lips, "And well, maybe I would be pregnant or planning to get pregnant, who knows."
I smiled at her little dreams, "You really want that, huh?" I asked because we never discussed the whole kids' thing after her miscarriage.
She nodded her head, "I really do," She mumbled, "I never knew I wanted it."
Not till she lost it. It's just how this life works sometimes, I guess.
"But those little humans, they're so cute," She added, pouting, "I want one."
I chuckled at the way she keeps addressing them, "I am sure you will have all of that, Emma, just be patient."
She nodded her head, "What about you?" She said, "Do you want one of those little humans, too?" She added, "I mean, I know you had Lilly for a while, but- you know what I mean, a one that's only yours, biologically and all of that."
Did it ever cross my mind? Of course, it did. If there was a slight possibility for it to happen; to have a kid, for it to have Natalie's eyes and smile, it would be beyond amazing, but it was a far-fetched dream from every single side so I dismissed the topic right away and shook my head, "No, I don't really think about that."
Emma nodded her head and kept silent for a while as we turned back and walked in the opposite direction, heading toward the bunker again.
"I saw Max, you know," She added, breaking the silence, "He is so cute, he looks a lot like you."
My jaw twitched and I stared down at the cup in my hand, mumbling lowly, "I wish he didn't."
Emma looked at me, reading my energy and she asked, "Does it hurt?" In general, she asked.
I just nodded my head in return.
"Okay, then I will keep my mouth shut," She added, promising to never bring up his name again and for that I was grateful.
She snuck her arm around my waist, "I just can't wait for next year to come already," She said with a smile, wishing all of her dreams to become alive within the span of a year. Me, on the other hand, I was totally unaware of what next year could hold for me. Optimism never worked well with me, so I could only think of the worst possible scenarios.
****************
I can't find my phone. I had checked before leaving the house but it wasn't there, so I suspected it might've fallen inside the car, I looked into there as well but couldn't find it either. I looked all around the office after Emma and I returned from our walk, thinking it might've fallen when I wasn't in my right state of mind but the damn phone is nowhere to be found.
I used Emma's phone to call Jeremy, maybe he can locate it somewhere, and if not, I asked him to try and erase everything he can from it. It contained a lot of important information and it can't fall into the wrong hands now.
Emma left afterward, heading home to wait for Roman's return and I stayed at the office, waiting for Ronald to arrive. I had asked Emma to call him to get here because he and I needed to talk.
It didn't take him that long to get here and I heard a low knock on the door before it got opened. Ronald stepped in, his suspicious eyes on me, "You asked for me?" He said and I nodded, urging him to step further in.
"Yeah, get in and close the door behind you," I said and Ronald froze by the door's boundaries, his gaze flickering between outside and me, "Uh, I'd rather it stays open, considering," He said the last word while he pointed at his bruised face. I tried not to feel too bad because it's Ronald after all but I've really done my number on his face. Natalie is definitely not going to like this...
"Whatever suits you," I mumbled as I opened one of the bourbon bottles we had stacked around and poured some into the glass ahead of me. Ronald inched closer on wary careful steps before he took the seat across from me, his eyes watching every move I made. I poured him a glass as well and moved it closer to his side, "Drink," I said as I took a sip from my own.
Ronald stared down at his glass with hesitation before he backed into his seat and shook his head, "No, thank you."
I rolled my eyes at his drama, "I am not going to drug you."
He shrugged, "Who knows," He mumbled, still distrustful toward me, "Maybe it runs in the family."
He totally had those punches coming. I don't really regret it anymore.
I rested my glass on the desk, my eyes focused on the liquid that was strong enough to calm my nerves and I asked, "I will ask you this one more time only, and you will truthfully answer it," I demanded.
My eyes lifted up and met his, "Did you or did you not switch my pills?"
His jaw tightened at my direct accusation and he scoffed, "It doesn't matter what I will say, you will never believe me."
"You didn't give me an answer yet," I pointed out.
"It wouldn't make a difference anyway, not when you have this belief that I am the one who did this to you," He added in utter frustration, "So think whatever you want, I don't care, if you want to get another beating out of me, then go ahead," He added, rolling his eyes and looking away from me, being a dramatic bitch as always, "But the problem is not me here, Nikolas, it's you and your distrustful nature toward everyone."
"Why do you have to talk a lot?" I mumbled in annoyance, "Can't you just simply say yes or no?"
"And if I said no, you're going to just believe me?" He scoffed again and thank god the alcohol was keeping me calm because I wanted to smash his head again, "Why would I do something like that, anyway? What would I gain from it?"
"I don't know, you tell me," I said, taking another sip from my drink, "Isaac helped you a lot, maybe you are repaying him back this way."
"Seriously now?" He gaped at me, "Look, Nikolas, you don't know me, okay," He added, my accusation getting him extra riled up, "Yeah, I am not a saint but I am not that horrible of a person either. Why would I help a man like Isaac?" He carried on, "Why would I help a man who abused his wife and traumatized his kids, a man who kidnapped my brother and hid him away from me all this time, a man who shot his nephew and killed his grandson, why would I ever help a man like that?"
I shrugged, "Because that same man helped your mother and father, he protected you, your sister, and your brother," I pointed out the obvious, "That man trained you, he gave you power, and he gave you a ticket in, his assistant had you step right into Joseph's house and Joseph still has no damn clue who you are," I added, "I've read your file, Ronlad, your training at the HEX wasn't like any usual training, you had exceptions, Isaac gave you that, you had all the training with no punishments and none of the inhuman techniques they usually practice in there."
Ronald nodded, not shying away from those facts, "Yeah, and that's exactly why you can't stand my existence, isn't it?" He shook his head, "Before you knew who I was, our dynamic was kind of normal, but you only flipped out and hated me like this when you learned who I am, and don't tell me it's because of Natalie and the way I disapprove of your relationship," He pointed out, "Let's face it, you could care less about me and my opinion."
That was true.
"You only hate me because of that one single fact; that Isaac gave me a choice and gave me exceptions, things that he never gave to Emma before," He added, spitting out facts I hate, "But guess what, I could really care less about all of this, I could care less for a man like him," He got up to his feet, his inner agony reflecting off his tone as anger and rage he had kept inside for way too long, "I am only doing this because I need to punish myself for not being able to get there in time," His jaw tightened, "I am doing all of this not for revenge but because I was not able to save her when I probably could've."
"So just like you deal with your tragedies in your own way, this is how I deal with mine," He added, "So no, Nikolas, no, I didn't switch your pills, I would never do something like that to you, and no, I never helped Isaac work against you, even though he had asked me for it and even though you are a monumental pain in the ass, I still would never do it," He said and I tried to ignore that last comment, his face is bruised enough as it is, "And I am not going to prove myself to you anymore, I think I've done that already many times before, with every time I stood by your side and helped you."
I looked up at him with a bored expression and I let out another sigh, "Okay, stop being a dramatic little bitch and sit down," I grumbled out. I asked one single simple question and he made a damn scene...
He rolled his eyes at my comment and dropped back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest and I watched him up close, trying to read below the surface and I kept coming up with the same conclusion every time.
"I believe you," I said and those three words had his eyes widen and his head shot back to me.
"The drug hasn't worn off, has it?" He said in shock and I shot him a glare, "Shut up," I grumbled.
I just know what it feels like to lose a mother and I can see that same ache reflect off him, one stronger than anything else, "It's not your fault, Ronald," I added, taking another sip from my drink, "Not being able to save her, it's not your fault."
His eyebrow raised, "I will believe in that only when you do," He pointed out the obvious, his sentence strong enough to shut me up and hitting me in places I didn't like.
"Touché," I mumbled as I poured myself another glass. I pointed my head at his own, "Drink up, you look like you need it."
He shook his head, "Someone needs to stay sober so he can drive your drunk self home."
I smiled, liking that, "True," The alcohol must've taken its effect because no way I would've said the next words while fully sober, "You are a good friend."
His lips lifted up into the biggest happiest smile at my words.
I sighed and rolled my eyes, "Why so giddy?"
"You finally addressed me as your friend," He pointed out.
I shook my head, "If you ever tell anyone, I am gonna deny it," I said, "No one is gonna believe you anyway."
He shrugged, smiling still like an idiot, "Still," He said, "I knew that deep down you love me."
Ignoring him, I filled my glass back up again, deciding to finish the whole bottle to get through this night with him.
*****************
Natalie's POV
Even though he asked me not to wait up, I couldn't help but stay awake and wait for him to get back home. I was worried sick still and he chose today out of all as the day to run away from me. Why does he make everything extra hard? Well, too bad for him, I am not giving up that easily anyway.
It was around two thirty in the morning when I heard the door open and the keys rattle. Excitement rushed into my veins and I jumped up from the bed too fast. I gave myself a quick look in the mirror and fixed my messy hair, considering I was tossing and moving around the bed all over the past three hours.
I wore my slippers and left the room. I headed down the stairs, my gaze flickering around and my ears registered more than one voice. My eyebrows pulled closer, is that Ronald's voice? I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at the thought; here he goes ruining my night.
The lights in the living room got turned on and I followed them both into there, stepping inside and trying to understand what was happening. My gaze registered Nikolas first, who had sat down on the couch before they flickered up to Ronald. My footsteps had him face me and my eyes widened almost instantly, gasping lowly, "What happened to your face?"
He pointed at his bruises, "Oh this?" He shrugged ever so casually, "Just a courtesy of your boyfriend."
I whirled my head to Nikolas, ready to question him but my breath got caught in my throat at the scene that welcomed me. Nikolas was sitting on the couch and he had a small orange kitten resting over his chest, the cat was so tiny I almost didn't see it when I first stepped into the room. Nikolas's attention was on the cat only and he ran his hand over the little animal's head, "You're so cute," He mumbled lowly, inching closer and dropping a kiss over its head.
My eyes widened even more and I choked on my saliva, "Nikolas...what- what is that?"
He looked up at me and gave me a duh look, "A cat."
"I know that," I said, still trying to process this, "But where did you get it from?"
He gave me another duh look, "The street."
"Uh...but why?" What the hell is happening?
"Just because," He mumbled, adorably running his hand over the little kitty's head, who seemed more pleasured than ever, then he announced, "We have a cat now."
"But...uh, but we already have a cat," I stated and he shot me a glare, "You have a cat, this one is only mine," He pointed out, protectively wrapping the little thing between his arms, almost squishing it.
I facepalmed and turned to Ronald. He looked sober enough, so why did allow this to happen...I shot him a glare and scolded, "You let him take a cat from the street!"
He raised his arms up in defense, "Hey, be thankful it's just this one, there were five, he wanted to take them all!"
Oh god. How did this become my life? Just how?
Nikolas ran his forefinger over the cat's face, "Stop shouting you two, you are scaring her," He mumbled, titling his head and gazing at the cat, "What will I name you?" He spoke to her, then he smiled, figuring it out, "I will call you Nachos, you are all yellow and orange like nachos."
I need to sit down. Seriously.
Nikolas lifted his head up, looking at us, "I never had nachos before, do you they taste good?"
I rubbed a hand over my forehead and inched closer to Nikolas, "We can have all the nachos you want later but uh, Nik, you can't just bring a random cat home," I pointed out and he gave me an unsatisfied look, "We need to take her to the vet first, have her take her vaccinations, also, is it a girl or a boy?" If he is a boy, Massie will rip him to pieces.
Nikolas shrugged, "I don't know," He mumbled, "She looks like a girl," He straightened up and held the kitty with both hands, flipping her over to check, "Let's check," He said as he inspected the cat's...well, you know what.
Nikolas's eyebrows pulled closer, "Oh wow, she has balls," He said in astonishment, "Two of them actually."
"Oh really, show me," Ronald said, excited as he went closer to Nik's side, "I've never seen a cat's balls before."
Nikolas held the cat with one hand and used the other to point at the cat's balls, "Look, they're here."
Ronald tapped his finger over them and chuckled, "Wow, they feel funny."
I covered my face, unable to take this anymore and I grumbled into my hands, "Can we please stop touching the poor cat's balls!"
Nikolas pushed Ronald's hand away, shooting him a glare, "Yes, don't, she is mine, I mean he...he is mine, don't touch my cat."
"Okay, whatever."
I shot Ronald a glare and Nikolas stood up, securing the cat between his arms, "Let's go sleep, okay Nachos?" He whispered to him and Massie must've picked up on the new smell in the house because she ran down the stairs so fast and paused by Nikolas's feet, rubbing her head over his leg and sniffing him, trying to reach up for whatever is laying between his arms.
Nikolas's glared down at her and tried to shoo her away, kicking her away with his feet, "Go away," He grated out, "Turned out I like cats, just not you," He shooed her away again and started to walk away.
Scared he might trip and fall because apparently, he is way too intoxicated, I decided to follow him up. I looked at Ronald, "You are staying here?" I checked first.
He nodded his head, "Yes, please, can I?" He asked, "I really want to see his reaction in the morning when he wakes up and realizes that he adopted a cat."
I shot him a glare, "This is all your fault," I shot out and he gave me an innocent look, "What the hell did I do?!"
I shook my head in disappointment and followed Nikolas up the stairs, walking into our room and closing the door behind us so Massie won't come inside and rip apart the new kitty.
Nikolas laid down on the bed right away, and he rested the cat over his chest. The small baby curled itself into a tiny ball and fell asleep almost instantly. Nikolas smiled at the little thing and I wanted to take a picture of him now and show it to him tomorrow, I am pretty sure his reaction will not be too pleasant...
I sat down on the bed's edge and he looked up at me. He poked the cat's head and pointed at me, "Look, this will be your new mommy," He said, addressing me.
I couldn't hold my chuckle and I tried to reach for the poor little cat, "Let's put...Nachos aside for now, you need to change your clothes before you sleep," I pointed out because he seemed about to knock me backward for touching his cat.
I let the kitty rest on the pillow beside him and he pulled his upper body up, turning his eyes away from the cat and to me. I inched my hand closer to his face and brushed away the couple of strands that fell over his forehead, "So, the drug wasn't enough for your brain, you had to get yourself drunk as well?" I pointed out with a raised eyebrow.
He shook his head, "It helps me not think," He said, "And I am not thinking now," He rested his eyelids and smiled, "It's awesome."
I couldn't help my smile, he just has to be so damn adorable when he gets himself so wasted like this. I edged closer, "Okay, let's change your clothes for now so you can rest, you had one hell of a day."
I curled my hands over the lapels of his jacket and helped him take it off. I rested it on the chair before I sat by his side, my fingers reaching for his shirt's buttons when I felt his fingers rest below my chin, gently lifting my head up so I can look at him. He smiled, his smile so hazy and so beautiful and I wanted to cry because I wished he could always be this happy and relaxed.
His fingers moved down my chin, reaching for my neck, ever so gently moving over the red marks on each side and his smile slowly dropped down, his gaze focused there as he mumbled, "I am so sorry," His eyes flickered back to mine, tired worried lines etched over his forehead and eyebrows, "I didn't mean to...I wasn't...I wasn't seeing you, the drug, it-" He tried to explain and I shook my head, my hand going up and resting over his, "I know, you don't have to explain to me."
I shook my head again, "It wasn't your fault."
He nodded his head sadly, "It was," He said, "But I promise, I would never ever hurt you again, drugged or not."
I smiled at his innocent tone and nodded my head, "Okay, deal."
He seemed satisfied and he moved his hand away, staring at me as I unbuttoned the first few ones of his shirt, "You are so beautiful," He commented out of the blue and I nodded, "So are you."
His smile widened, his head tilted slightly and he asked, "Will you marry me after one year?"
I couldn't hold my chuckle, "Why after one year?"
He shrugged, "Because there is this theory that things will get better in one year."
"Oh, really?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
He nodded, "Yeah, imagine it, after one year, Isaac will be dead, so no danger and no one to drug me and make me hurt you," He said and my smile slowly dropped at the absurdity of this cruel joke that is his life, "Also, Joseph will be dead for sure, I won't let anyone who wants to hurt you stay alive," He added, being an adorable aggressive kid, "Nathan will be safe and all will be good," He added, speaking randomly, "Emma would be pregnant apparently, who knows."
"So, you will marry me in a year?"
I smiled, "So you are proposing from now?" I asked, "Where is the ring though?"
His eyes lightened up, "Actually I do have a ring, it's somewhere here," He looked around and I shook my head, "No, no, please no, a drunk proposal is not how I want to remember this moment," I added with a low chuckle. I am gonna have so much fun teasing him about this tomorrow.
I helped him take his shirt off and he leaned back into the pillow, sinking into its comforts, "So, will you say yes?"
I shrugged and inched closer, dropping a kiss over his cheek, "We will see, a lot can change in a year."
He rested his cheek over the pillow, his eyes focused on mine, "Not my feelings, they won't change, I believe I will still lov-" I pressed my hand over his mouth, "Oh no, please don't say that word now, please," I mumbled, my heart beating too fast for my liking. I couldn't deal with all of this now, with his feelings, with my feelings; it was too messy, too complicated, and he has no clue.
"Just try and sleep, okay," I urged before he speaks of more.
He sighed and nodded his head, his eyelids dropping down in tiredness and I stayed by his side, unable to get up and leave him just yet.
"You know," He mumbled lowly, his eyes opening halfway, "Today I hallucinated of Isaac, of Cara, and of Frank, but you know what the sad part is," He added and I listened, "I really wished I could've seen her, even if it was a hallucination," His melancholic tone hit me too deep as he talked about his mother, "I miss her so much, and I wished I could hallucinate and see her too but I didn't."
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Hey!
Shorter chapter but I updated faster this time so I guess that's cool ;)
What are your thoughts?
Like Ronald, I can't wait for Nikolas to wake up and realize that he adopted a cat xD
See ya soon :)