'and here you are living
despite it all.'
-rupi kaur
✥✥✥✥✥
When someone leaves their life behind, starts fresh, they often try and forget the person they once were, be it through changing the colour of their hair, their name, their entire identity.
Not Artemisia though
She had grown using who she once was as a platform to jump up from. In a literal sense she did this through the millions she had made, the beauty she possessed, and the job that came with being a mother and a business owner. The characteristics she possessed that stemmed from her painful past were not eradicated however, but embraced and used to her own advantage, and this time the results were healthy and normal.
Her kindness had allowed her to make friends with everyone
Her beauty had caused that same effect with men, but this time she saw dating as quite unimportant in her life, not because of her past, but because she had much more fulfilling things to focus on.
Her intelligence had allowed her to make her own plans and effectively put them into action, and with that came her drive.
Her drive had allowed her to open a school for disadvantaged children in Athens two years ago, where she now lived permanently. It took a lot to get the councils onside, and she had to make connections with the right people, but she did it, and it was one of her pride and joys to see other young children being nurtured in a healthy way.
She took strength from the parents of these kids, working non-stop to provide as much as they could, but not only was she inspired by their ethic but also by their parenting.
With the lessons she had learnt from other mothers and fathers that she had come across within the school, she parented her own child using their words of advice.
Riccardo Davide Pericelo, Rico for short.
His middle name had been a tribute to David, Riccardo had been chosen given it's meaning of strength, and his last name would remain Pericelo unless something got in the way.
Artemisia wasn't thinking that far ahead, and she had stopped planning so far into the future because she realised how limited her life became when she did. Constantly worried, the incessant planning was a behaviour of the past to protect her from danger, and she was aware that there could be a day where that danger would resurface, but the relentless vigilance she put herself under wasn't serving her anymore.
Now she spent time with her newly-turned five year old, and the only danger she cared about was the kind that threatened him.
The two were beyond close, but not perfect. Artemisia saw a lot of Leandro in her son physically, but also in his nature. He was determined, and if he wanted to do something he would do his best to do it, even if his mother had told him it would only end in tears.
Rico physically emulated his father, a little too much for Artemisia's liking when she was having a bad day, but he was growing to be a very strong and handsome boy. He was quiet in nature unless around people he trusted, but very protective of his mother and sometimes jealous when he saw her talking with the other kids at the school. He had his father's bright smile, one that made Artemisia so happy to see.
She wished she saw it more when she had been with Leandro, but seeing it come to Rico's face did more than enough for her.
Rico had his parent's eyes however, but his eyes were so intense, a mix of that deep obsidian that his father possessed that would change in the light and become a fascinating green.
Artemisia was wondering if he would end up looking exactly like his father, he was getting very tall for his age and his mannerisms were the same, even when Artemisia had told him off for his jealousy or constant state of alert.
But all in all, Riccardo was Artemisia's son, and before restarting her life she couldn't imagine having an inch of the happiness she possessed now. She felt totally blessed to have the privilege of raising such an incredible child, one who was caring and understanding, had a strong sense of morals and loved his mother even when he was angry.
She hadn't been the only one raising Rico however. Jacob and Alvaro had been the best friends, but also uncles to Rico she could have ever asked for. The first two years of his life the pair of them stayed with her as much as they could, only taking occasional trips to the States to check on business, a business that they had moved to Washington to distance themselves from the conflict.
They'd made a new rule that they weren't getting involved with big operations.
The pair had helped Artemisia in the hardest times, but had laughed with her through them, and they'd all embraced the best times. The three were unbreakable. Jacob and Alvaro moved back to Washington when Rico turned three, something Artemisia pushed them to do, and developed the organisation that David had left behind.
Also, being in Athens and being able to relax in a totally different setting to where her past had played out before, it meant that she could make friends.
Artemisia had a group of women in her life who she loved dearly, and who loved her. Granted they were all in their thirties, but they cherished her and treated her like a sister.
Xavia was 34, her son was in Rico's class at school and they had met last year.
Selene was 36 and she had two kids in the same school as Rico and had been introduced to Artemisia through Xavia
They were her two ports of call, and now at the age of 26 as a single parent, she had never been more grateful for the help.
Carina was very much still in the picture, but it was harder given how secretive their communication had to be. It was always a case of making sure Carina was alone, which was difficult since there were always people around her house in Sicily, especially now that her husband Pietro had climbed higher up the ranks
They spoke once a week minimum, always making time for one another, and they had seen each other sneakily on impromptu holidays seven times since Artemisia had fled. Carina would always be her number one, regardless of the circumstances, and the pair would laugh and cry about motherhood together.
But there was a part of her that would always feel a bit broken when those phone calls ended, she thought of Sicily, of Leandro, Anton, even Romulo sometimes. Artemisia knew better than to ask about them though, and even if she ever had, Carina knew better than to say anything.
Leandro looked like he had moved on. Carina knew it couldn't have been further from the truth, but the battle between the two men had flatlined, producing something quite beautiful really, but as a result Leandro had to get back onto task and only focus on strengthening the family and developing the empire.
He hadn't killed Clementina in the end, but instead she had another daughter who Leandro cherished. His two kids were at the focus of his life, and for all that he and Clementina remained married, everything he did was for them. Leandro cared about Clementina, cared for her because she was the mother of his two children and she was raising them, and through the pain he had managed to get back in touch with their original connection, but he didn't love her.
He loved Artemisia, and he always would. It was something Domenico and Luiz told their men would remain a fact and it was better not to question it after Romulo had exposed their affair.
Romulo was married himself though, to another Italian girl and now had two kids, twins, one boy and one girl. His past with Leandro had been forgotten through a slow process of being forced into the same spaces and having to work together. They were back to normal, and superficially the fabric of the Cosa Nostra was as it should have been, how it would've been if Leandro never reunited with Artemisia in the first place.
However, there was one thing that tended to surprise other organised crime groups, and that was the Italian-Russian partnership.
Anton and Leandro had torn each other apart, but at their last showdown when they saw each other for the first time since Anton returned Rafaella Torromandi's chain, the two men got honest with each other.
Maybe it was because they knew that Artemisia wouldn't want either of them dead, but they did acknowledge the facts.
There had never been a problem between them before the Mexicans started pushing for more, and it was a battle that was fuelled by their love for the one woman who wasn't even in the picture.
They came to an agreement after both admitting it, one that was strange, but also very clever. The two men would equally split New York whilst dividing other territories.
Anton would receive 65% of Miami and Leandro the rest, while the reverse would happen in Los Angeles, and in their newly acquired Texas after pushing out the Mexicans they split the territory 50/50.
It stunned people, but the two men had always respected one another hugely, and this silent respect had been brought to light in their partnership. But, it meant they needed to work together, and in the last five years they had made big deals with other people as a team, bringing them to be friends.
In a way they were brothers, formerly like Romulus and Remus, but now like two siblings who had each other's back in the face of adversary. It brought them both wealth and success, and their partnership had brought their families close.
Anton had a family of his own too, now married to Kira, the one other woman who he cared about in a meaningful way. She had given him a son who was four, a year younger than Leandro's first daughter, and the men had watched their kids grow up together.
Anton had moments where he thought he loved Kira, but then he would think about Artemisia, and the feeling wasn't the same; but he stopped comparing the two because he knew he would never be able to be happy if he kept on comparing every feeling he had to the feelings he had when he was with Artemisia. Like Leandro, Anton cared for Kira in the way he had originally, but also because she was the mother of his son.
The two men were very aware that they were in the same boat when it came to their marriages, and in a way it brought them closer, but they rarely spoke about Artemisia unless it was a specific time of year: September.
September was difficult for them both, it was the month she had been kidnapped as a child which brought Leo to his knees, but also the month Anton had kidnapped her which caused the chaos. Leandro thought about her constantly, wondering how she was coping, where she was, what she may have been doing, and Anton could tell.
Anton had more solemnity but also peace when it came to September, because he knew that she was alive, and he knew that she would've been happy in whatever she was doing.
But like Leo he missed her, every single day he thought about her and wished that he could see her one last time.
-
Anton
Leo and I had work to do, but it was also summer and we'd decided that it would be a good time to get everyone back together, so we were all meeting in Ibiza at a hotel I had bought into. He and I would be doing meetings along with Olik, Petr, Pietro, Domenico and Luiz, but the families would be together and the kids would see each other again.
It was strange to think that this was the reality, one of my few sworn enemies had now turn into a close friend, and I didn't even do 'friends', just people I trusted. But I thought of what had brought us together, who had brought us together without even knowing it, and a smile reached my face.
Artemisia would always be the most special person in my life, I thought about her constantly, but I knew that wherever she was in the world, she was happy. I missed her all the time, hoping that one day I would see her again, but I knew that I would.
However, that hope often got outshone by my sadness, and when that was the case I read the letter she had sent me from God knows where in the world. It was unmarked, but it was her handwriting, and every time I read it I felt the sudden relief.
Artemisia had sent me this a year after she had left, I took solace in that because I knew that she had time to process things, what she said in the letter was real, not something that would change.
I looked down at the letter, grateful that I was the only one on the jet so I could read it in peace, and began to read it again hearing her voice in my head.
'Anton,
It's been a year, and I thought I would be able to just leave the dust to settle after a while. Writing this feels like I'm adding some fuel to the fire, but I hope you know that I'm sending you this for you, but also for me to get some closure.
I know you feel betrayed, and I don't blame you. I never intended to leave when you went back to New York but as the throws of life have it, an opportunity fell in my lap and I had to take it. I wanted to be more honest with you, let you know that I couldn't be kept in the house anymore, tell you why I wanted to go, but in the moment where the opportunity presented itself I saw no other option but to take it.
I would love it if you forgave me for leaving you, but I know it's a rich thing to ask. You trusted me, and my actions went against that trust, but I'm not apologising for leaving, I'm apologising for hurting you in the process. The thing is Anton, you are such an incredible person, but only I got to see that side of you for a long time, and then Leandro came into the picture and what happened there meant you were lost.
The battle between you two was more than just about empire, and I don't think I'm being arrogant when I say that it started to become about me, more than either of you would like to admit. It was painful because I felt like I was being used as a key that would win either of you the ongoing war, and I was just being thrown around until someone was brought to their knees, but in that you guys brought me to my knees.
I felt used by both of you, hurt in a multitude of ways, and yes Leandro's objective actions were worse but the same principle remained that I was the only way either of you would be able to checkmate the other.
It was getting to a point before you took me where I asked myself if this was worth it, whether I was actually happy at all? My career has blocked me off from normality and it was something I always craved, but I would never try and have it unless David gave me the go-ahead. I ran from you because I couldn't take the game, but I also wanted to escape the storm that had been tearing everything apart for the last year.
You spoke about putting things down for me, us having a normal life together, but we both know it's impossible. Don't get me wrong, those days in Madrid when we went out were some of the happiest and normal ones I've ever had, but at the same time there's that brutal truth that nothing about either of us is normal. You and I could never be normal together, you were bred for this brutal lifestyle, as was I, and two people cut from the same cloth seeking normality is never going to work.
If I want 'normal' I can't be with you. I can't be with anyone from this life we lead, not Leo, Romulo or even Jacob. It's impossible. If I want normality someone needs to balance me out, and you know that it can't be you as much as it pains me to say that, because I know how incredible you truly are.
I hope you don't shut down on yourself, I hope you don't deny yourself the privilege of love and to be loved. If anyone in this world deserves it, it's you. You carry so much on your shoulders and never trust anyone to help you bear the weight, and I know that maybe me saying this is ironic, but you definitely should Anton. You need to, otherwise you'll lose further sight of what is good in this life.
I know you love me, and there have been days where I feel that love for you too, but then I feel anger or I just feel numb. I know that me writing this will turn things upside down again, but I needed to say it because it's been eating me alive.
I miss you, I miss your presence, I miss the protection I felt under it, I miss us. I often find myself thinking what life would have been like if Leandro never came back into the picture, but I know I shouldn't dwell on it because in all truth Anton we were so toxic. For a long time the thing that kept us coming back to one another wasn't love but hatred and lust, and maybe it was our fucked up way of showing our care, but it was hurting us.
It tore us apart.
I don't want you to come looking, it'll only push me away. I'll find you when I'm ready, it may take years for that to ever happen, but I want to settle and be secure enough in my life now. If I'm not then I have this horrible feeling that I'll be roped back into who I once was. In truth, I was never really that person, it was just a mask that I wore for long enough that I started to believe it was really me.
I'll find you, when that will be is a different question, but I will Anton. Also, happy birthday old man, you'll be 29 now, not long until you're going to have your 30's mid-life crisis. Take that as my birthday message for you for every year until I see you again, it won't be too long, I'm sure.
All my love,
Arté.'
I looked out of the window and watched as the coastline started to appear in my vision, a smile coming to my face.
We would see each other soon, it had been five years, I knew that the wait wouldn't be much longer.