It was a night I would never want to remember.. Pero paulit-ulit ko lang napapaginipan. How can I fucking sleep? Paano ko ba ipagpapatuloy lahat?
Kung pagod na pagod na ako?
"Alex"
"I'm up! I'm-- tsk. It's just you Shiela." I just placed my head back on my desk and yawn.
"Ano ba Lex? Dito ka nanaman natulog? Gosh! Don't you have a home to go home too?" Home, huh.
"Fucking leave me alone." I muttered and earn a nice hard hit on my head.
"Ow!"
"I heard that! Now get up. Maligo ka nga at magpalit! Nakakadiri ka. Dalawang araw mo nang suot yan!"
"I don't stink so what's the point?" I sat up and open my laptop and printed some files.
"Get this signed by Carlos and give it back to me. I'll get them approve to our so called 'boss'" Shiela scowl and prop a hand on her hip as she stared at the papers in her hand. She sighed loudly on purposed while inserting the files in her pink folder.
"What? So you'll return babysitting him again, huh? Kelan ka ba ulit nagpahinga ha? And the neat freak you are didn't even bother to bathe? What's going on really?" Knowing Shiela she is talking like this out of worry. She knew how I handle things.. and knew when something's up.
"Kaya mo pa ba? Baka maulit nanaman na--"
"Shel.. I'm fine. Really. Natambakan lang ako ng trabaho." She stroke my messed up hair and kissed my cheek. Shiela.. She's not my girlfriend if you're thinking that way. She's actually my bestfriend. Before she confessed that she had feelings for me but I honestly turn her down and rather than be distant, we became closer and our friendship became stronger. She became my bestest friend and knows everthing about me.
"Siguraduhin mo lang. I'll go fix this and you go take a shower"
"Now where will I do that, perhaps?"
She lifted a brow and hit my head again.
"Ow! Stop that!" She laughed at my misery and struted away saying..
"Go home and I'll take this to you later."
I watch her back disappear and I sighed, rubbing my temple as I winced in pain. Na parang pinupukpok yung ulo ko ng matirlyo. Fucking hurts. Wondering why I speak like this? Half-European kasi ako. Though I grew up in New York. I left the states when I turn 18 and here I am in the Philippines. A middle-aged man working so hard for nothing.
Kung tutuusin, hindi ko na kailangan magtrabaho. I inherited loads of cash from my grandparents. That I didn't even touched. I just felt I need to do something. Anything. Para malibang. Para hindi makatulog.. Pampalipas.. ng mga panahong ayaw kong balikan.
I got in my car and drove to my condo building. I got to the third floor and got in my room. Not too small and just the right amount of space para sa akin. Ako lang naman ang nakatira dito. Sometimes Shiela would sleep over and turn my guestroom into a pink room that I need to kick her out to avoid the pink virus from spreading. Though I couldn't do that to her. Magkalapit bahay kasi kami. She lives in the 2nd floor in a huge condominium. Malaki kasi nakatira dun pati pamilya nya. Maliit pa nga yun sa kanilang lahat. That's why she sleeps over most of the times. Abuso nga lang sa kabaitan ko.
I took a 3 hour bath. Okay. Fine. Matagal na kung matagal but that's me. I always intend to relax in the tub. Bumili pa nga ko ng mini jacuzzi that luckily fitted in my bathroom. Another thing that kept Shiela from coming over.
I heard her step in my condo luckily.. Nakabihis na ko. Baliw tong babaeng to. One time she really saw me naked and just laughed for 3 days.. I meant it. Tatawa na lang magisa and she'll bluntly say that it's about my "cute butt" tsk. This woman. Really.
"Here are the papers. Ihahatid mo na ba to ngayon?" She said and I took it from her and walk pass her, grabbing my coat.
"Hoy, tignan mo to. Parang 'di kinakausap."
"I need to go. Lock the door and don't go in my room."
"As if naman! Naka-lock kaya! Tsk." I smirked and walk out. I just head in my car and head over to the hellhole's house.
Well penthouse really. He lives some expensive building somewhere in Makati. A place I'd memorized in my current visits. Nakakabwisit na lang isipin na kilala ka na ng guard at receptionist kaka-balik mo sa lugar na to. Tsk. I'm weirdly.. a high-paid E.A. I won't really accept the job if not for Mrs. Howard. She was the one that helped me back in New York. Now I promised her one thing and I'm a man who keeps his word. I promised to help her jerk-of-an-ass son called "Miguel Adam Howard" jerk ass jerk! Ehem. Anyway. Si Mrs. Howard is half like me so we get along well. Though she's half japanese and Pilipino. She married an American who died from a car accident not long ago. Now she needed her son more than ever for she was left in a huge pressure to take over a company on her own. Sabi nya sakin she'll make me one of the CEO's before but I confessed to her about my real financial status and agreed to just give me a small job but force a high-salary on me. Nahihiya daw sya for the selfish favor. Kahit na hindi dapat dahil kelangan ko nito. That, she doesn't know. How badly I needed something to get my mind off of things.
Kahit na makipagusap ka sa walang kwentang tao na walang alam kundi magpakasasa sa alak at sigarilyo. Who doesn't even know the word "responsibility."
"Sir Miguel" I called and there he lied. Naked. Hindi ko kelangan makita lahat para malaman ko. His comforter was low enough for me to see his toned, wide back and that swell of his butt. Tsk. How disgusting.
"Sir Miguel!!" I purposely kicked his bed and he moaned and woke up, looking as if he can kill me.
Amoy alak. He drunk all night that's for sure. And here goes with the saying..
"Gusto mo bang mamatay?" Magbiro ka na sa lasing wag lang sa lasing at bagong gising. Tama ba? Tss. Filipino sayings..
"Put some clothes on. You disgust me." Don't be surprise. This is our normal conversational script. So I say. Pero parang mas galit sya ngayon. He's even gripping my collar like he was itching to punch me. Baka natatakot ako? Like that will happen.
"Ha.. When will I be glad to see you, Alex" His evil smirk made my eyebrow twitch. Nakakainis na. Masakit na nga ulo ko sakit pa sa ulo tong boss ko! I took his hand off of me and I handed him the files.
"Sign this." I said with a consistent stern look and he just return that impassive look. He grab the folder and throwed it aside. Nagkalat yung mga papeles na dalawang lingo kong niresearch at tinapos. Pinapirmahan at pinagmeetingan with the board. Then he'll just throw it like a piece of trash and lie back down on his bed as if nothing concerns him. Not the company. Not his mother. Not even his late father. Is he this cold and insensitive. Napaka selfish nya.
"As far as I know Assistant mo lang ako Sir. I'm not here to do your work and act as your substitute." I tightly said and he didn't even responded. Parang wala lang syang narinig. Fuckshit lang.. Sumasakit na ulo ko and this is bad..
"I don't need this right now." Not even a word.
"Ano ba?! I can't do this every fucking time! If not for your mother I wouldn't even do this for a inconsiderate, irresponsible ass jerk like yo-"
"Shut. Up. Just shut your trap!!" He grab my shirt and push me back on the wall of his room. That hurt. Tsk. I winced and then glared at him. Fine he's much bigger and stronger than me but I don't care.
"Sino bang may sabing sundin mo ang sabihin ng babaeng yun?! Who told you to owe her a favor and do all of my work?! Baka nakakalimutan mo ang lugar mo, Alex? I'm your boss. I had enough of you! And wether my mother approve to it or not, You. Are. Fired!!!"
"Ang babaeng sinasabi mo. She's your mom. I don't care about this job but I care about what I promised your mother. She helped me and I owe her this. But I don't think I can.. do.. much more.." The room spun and my vission felt like it was blurring and fading every slow second. Though even with that I felt everything.. His big hands supporting all my weight. Him catching my head before it hit the hard floor. His warm quick breath against my face.. What's wrong with him? Shouldn't he just leave me be? Kahit anong mangyari. No one can ever get used to me. Someone as useless as me. Someone. Like.. Me. Sino nga bang magkakamali na piliin ako?
"A-Alex?! Alex!!! Hey!! Fuck! What the hell is wrong with you?! Ano ba?! Alex!!! Stop this! Hi-hindi na nakakatuwa! Alex!! Shit!"
* * *
Alexander Michaels. He was a kid that tag along with my mother. Umuwi si Mom with a 18 year old american boy. She helped him get some place to stay. Mom told me that she saw him wondering of everynight from a near-by park. Natatanaw ni mom yung park na yun from just the window of our house there. Naawa daw sya at may hinalang half-pinoy ang bata. She asked the small, thin boy. The boy happened to be older than he looked. Mukha daw syang kinse anyos ng makita ni mom, though in reality he was already 18. Mom told me about that helpless boy. Orphan daw yung bata. He was left in an orphanage at walang pamilyang tumagal sa kanya. May mga pamilyang tumanggap pero tinatakasan nya ang mga ito. Kung bakit. Hindi nya sinabi. Tahimik daw yung bata and it took awhile before he spoke longer than three senteces to my mom. What he said made my mom cried. Sabi nya. He found his family. His mother. His father. His bigbrother. All in one place.
A cemetery.
He was finally took in by his old grandfather and gave all the money his parents left him. That was all. He requested my mom a favor that he promised to return. Ang isama sya pauwi sa Pilipinas. She did so..
And now Alexander Michaels became my assistant. I met him five years ago. He was quiet but very intelligent. My mom even called him a genius. Hindi naman mapag-kakaila. Matalino si Alex. He can manage my whole company. Kahit Assistant ko lang sya. Pinagkakatiwalaan sya sa kumpanya namin. Kilala sya ng board and he was considered as my proxy. Pero halatang ayaw nya. Hindi sya mukhang napipilitan pero parang iba. He looked so tired of it all. I never see him smile. Kahit pag kasama nya si mom. 2 years ago when.. When my father died. It was the first time we ever talked.
In my father's burial when everything felt like it's falling apart. He sat next to me and watch my mom sob infront of my father's casket.
"Cry. It helps." He said his first words to me. And I did. Umiyak ako.. Umiyak ako and he lend me his shoulder. He stroke my hair and just stayed with 'till I calm down. I was a wreck for a whole year. Naawa naman ako kay Alex kasi sya ang parating nakakasalo nang mga init ng ulo ko. Ni minsan hindi sya nagreklamo o nagsalita. He bare with me for a year. This year aswell. Siguro tama nga sya. I'm irresponsible and inconsiderate. Pero.. Pano ko ba tatapatan ang mga achievements ni dad? He was beyond my lead. Kahit si Alex hindi ko kayang tapatan. Si dad pa kaya? I'm afraid to not meet their standards. That mom will be disappointed by me. It took me two years.. Kaya ko ba?
Kaya ko.. Duwag lang ako.