Random Thoughts and Feelings

I Dont Know

Do you ever feel like you're all alone when you have so many people in your corner?
Feeling so empty that you walk around not really seeing.
Up and down, up and down goes your mind, your thoughts, your feelings.
Everything you want and everything you need but still craving the love of people that should care about you most.
Knowing that they love who they want you to be.
Realizing you maybe the side piece for someone wanting attention.
Thrown away when fully powered up by the attention that is craved.
Never really feeling like anyone cares even though you know deep down that people do care.
Feeling distant and unable to express how you feel.
Being so in love with the person you are now but hating that you can't see them in the mirror.
Being treated as the man you are but unable to go out in public without looking over your shoulder.
No one sees that you are in the wrong body and can't get out.
That you so badly want to be seen as the person on the inside not by what people think they see.
Wanting approval and to be like every other guy.
The feeling out of place but not knowing if that is anxiety or reality.
Letting everyone walk all over you until you are beaten path.
Not knowing if you should go left or right and thinking what if I just down the middle.
All the thoughts and words swirling around leaving tangled strings.
What happened to the confidence?
What happened to stress free?
What happened to carefree?
Was there ever really care free?
Was everything just rose colored glasses until stepping out on your own?
True colors showing when ways are forged and wings are spread.
Only wanting to see the side that fits the mold.
All coming down to feeling uncertain.
The tangles spelling out three words.
I don't know.