I walked into his office fully intending to get the answers that I desired and leaving the room without any space for argument, but once I had passed the doorway the sweetest scent I had ever smelt in my life crashed into my nostrils and halted me from opening my mouth. My hand slapped against my nose in an attempt to minimize the scent and I sucked in my breath. His scent grew more permeant from the last time I smelt him. This must be an effect of the marking because when I locked eyes with him he did not seem nearly as affected as me. His eyes blinked rapidly as if to reassure himself that I was standing before him. I leaned closer to the door.
This was one of the side effects of the mate bond. The scent is one of the first indicators of finding your mate. Your mate's scent is intoxicating to the point where you would be happy to drown in it. Everything, after you are marked, becomes heightened. Everything.
He was silent. He watched patiently as I struggled to compose myself. It didn't help that his eyes burned into my skull and studied my every movement. My wolf begin to rise herself up at the presence of her mate and I mentally prepared myself for if she decided to lunge to the surface. I glanced at the chairs stationed in front of his desk and decided against resting in any of them. The distance was good for my head. It kept it unfogged.
I grazed my fingers along the indents on my neck and channeled the memories of that day in the forest. The fear of being stuck in this place and the sadness of my predicament. Jonah's crazed look and the way that my pleading for him to stop was met on dead ears. He would always take what he wanted and he didn't care who he had to hurt to get it. He was an Alpha and his reputation did not fail him. A burn sizzled in my chest and I removed my hand from my neck.
"Did we mate," I asked, deciding not to beat around the bush. This question visibly took him aback as his eyebrows shot up and lips parted. The fingers around the pen in his hand twitched and he had to set it down on top of the papers sprawled on his desktop. He blinked and licked his lips. I know that if I were in his position I would act similarly. Embarrassed to be asked such a lued question outright but right now, I did not have enough in me to care. He should be more than embarrassed. He should be angry like I am angry.
He cleared his throat thrice before finally speaking. "No."
I release a breath I was not aware I was holding upon waiting for his answer. I had fully expected him to say that we had. Usually, newly mated pairs were inseparable from one another. Always touching and kissing. So handsy. But this was a huge relief. I quickly glanced at his neck and saw no mark. My shoulders sagged down in relief.
I know that completing the mating process doesn't help my predicament. With a mark carved within my skin, he can still find me whenever I go but he is withheld from his true power and I have not succumbed completely to his influence. The mate bond has not engulfed me.
"How are you feeling," he asked me. His eyes lingered on my body as if he were checking for injuries.
My eyes narrowed into slits.
"Do you feel any pain anywhere? Have you been eating?"
I scowled and looked away from him because his concern for me made me feel warm.
"Ah, I'm sure you already know the answer to those questions, " I sighed, leaning my back against the wall and crossing my arms over my chest. He had eyes and ears all over this pack. I was certain that he already knew how I was doing or even if he did not, he could easily find out that information.
He rubbed his jaw roughly and sucked in his breath. I jumped off the wall as he ascended from his chair and started to make a move around his desk. The movement caused his scent to whisk in my direction and I pulled my head back. Putting one hand in the air and the other on my nose, I rushed to speak.
"Do, do not move!"
He froze at the side of his desk and gave me an odd look. Hesitantly he turned his head down towards his armpits and gave a quick sniff.
"Um...do I smell?" He asked me with a confused expression. Now I could have just blamed the bond and admitted that his scent made me feel very, very odd and broke my self-control, but of course, I did not do that at all. If he discovered that he could control me by simply being near me, he would use that to his advantage and that cannot happen. So, I chose to do the most intelligent option that both allowed him to not discover that and get back at him a little bit. Even if it was childish.
"Yes," I blurted. "I mean very bad. Terrible. So terrible that...that..." Just stop speaking Riley before you embarrass yourself further. His eyebrows slightly rose before he relaxed his expression. My lip twitched as he muttered a quick apology and slipped his hands under his arms, squeezing them tightly to his body. At least, I knew he had some sort of manners. He didn't bask in his musk.
He could never smell bad though.
"It does not have to be today, or tomorrow, but once you are feeling better I think that we should discuss some matters referring to you and the pack," he spoke quietly, leaning himself against the edge of his desk.
"The pack? We have nothing to discuss." I snorted, tilting my head to the side. "Did you believe that you won because you marked me? You didn't win anything."
He cocked an eyebrow.
What? Did you forget about the elephant in the room?" I pulled the collar of my shirt down to expose my reddened neck and the kiss marks that surrounded it. He stiffened but his eyes darkened peering at my mark and a low rumble resonated from his chest. I rolled my eyes pulling my shirt back up. Again with this Alpha bullshit. How could he feel pride looking at what he's done? I was not given a choice or anything and he ruined my life!
"I'm not going to play your game anymore. I'm done!"
"Riley, you are speaking nonsense. I am not playing a game and I want to—"
"Shut up. I wasn't done speaking." I spit and grind my teeth together. "I will not do anything to harm your pack. I recognize that they are innocent in this matter but I also will not play your game anymore. You may have cornered me but do not expect me to play the part of this perfect loving Luna that adores her mate. I am done acting. Your pack will know that this is not a united front between their leaders. They will know that I detest you. That I loathe you."
He didn't react apart from the slight twitch of his brow. He remained completely still that you could have mistaken him for a statue. I was breathing heavily after my speech and a fire burned inside me. I continued seconds later. I guess we are discussing these matters today. I felt different. My anger consumed all of my fear of him. I relished this feeling.
"We are never completing the mating process," I spoke in disgust, shaking my head back and forth. I looked toward his slacks while I spoke.
"Whatever power I provide you now is all you are going to receive from me. I am not going to give you more and if you try to, to..." My throat constricted at the thought of Alpha Jonah doing that horrific act to me. I swallowed back my tears at the thought.
"I won't," He stated firmly. "I would nev—I won't."
"Good, because then I would kill you," I said, venom dripping from my words. If even thought about forcing himself on me I would fight against the bond and ensure that I was the only one left breathing.
I made my way toward the door but halted when my hand reached the doorknob.
"Your Beta," I began. "You will not touch him." I turned to find the Alpha's face darkened slightly.
"I saw the bruises and cuts on his face. The damage that you've done. It was unnecessary. You do not have to use him as your punching bag anymore.
"Why do you care? You just stated that you do not want to be involved with pack life."
"Using pack members, especially your beta as outlets for your anger, is wrong. Disgusting, " I raged.
"He disobeyed me and suffered the consequences. You must punish those that do not show respect."
I scoffed. The Alpha in him was surfacing. This was the Alpha Jonah I remembered.
"Yeah, I know that very well," I muttered, caressing my mark. His jaw clenched at my words and he fisted his hands beside him. I felt my wolf shutter at my words and whimper to his wolf in sorrow. Before more words could be spoken, I rushed out of the room not wanting to be in his presence any longer. I was suffocating under his words and his stench.
What a waste of an Alpha.
What a waste of a mate.