A/N: Sorry for the delay in updates - I've been busy moving house! Anyway, enjoy ❤️
*****
I enter the living room, feeling an unexpected rush of relief to discover the white-blond haired Slytherin sitting pensively on my sofa, the blanket and pillow I presume he'd used in the night folded neatly beside him.
He immediately looks up, his face softening as his eyes land on the child on my hip.
"I thought you may have left," I admit, biting my lower lip.
"I told you," he said, his voice hoarse, "I'm not letting you go now that I've found you."
He holds my gaze and I can't help but smile, my heart lifting as his own lips twitch up at the corners.
"Well," I say, looking down at Lily who is busily chewing her fingers, "I suppose it's time to say hello to your uncle Draco."
Draco immediately sits a little more alert as I move across the room to him, plonking my daughter in his lap. His arms instantly go around her as he slides her further up his lap, cradling her to him.
"Hello, Lily," he says, his voice taking on a gentle nature which I'd never heard him use before. "I'm Malfoy, Draco Malfoy, and I used to go to school with your mummy."
Lily immediately scowls up at him and bashes a small fist against his face.
"OW!" Draco hollars loudly. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!"
"Well, she's a Weasley twin product." I say as though this answers everything.
Draco scowls down at Lily and pokes out his tongue, blowing a raspberry. This delights her and she laughs, trying to copy him but failing miserably.
Satisfied she's not traumatised by our unexpected visitor, I leave them to it and busy myself around the open plan kitchen, making Lily's breakfast whilst Draco talks to her about the weather.
"Put her in her highchair, would you?" I ask, sticking some porridge into the microwave. "And there's no point talking to her about the chances of precipitation, she's a baby and doesn't care if it rains, snows, or shits puppies out there - just so long as she gets fed."
"Do you often swear in front of your child?" Draco drawls as he gets up off the sofa and carries her over to the small table which separates the living room from the kitchen.
"No." I take the porridge out of the microwave and check the temperature. "But I can't seem to help it when you're around."
I watch on in amusement as he battles to work out how to strap Lily into the small wooden highchair. In the end he gets out his wand and uses magic, much to my daughter's wide eyed fascination.
As he sits down in a chair in front of her, she immediately makes a grab for his wand, desperately wanting it, eager to see those colorful sparks fly from the funny looking twig again.
It occurs to me then that this is the first time Lily has experienced any kind of magic at all. When I turned my back on my old life, I turned my back on everything. Was I really planning on denying Lily her magical heritage like I was denied mine?
My heart gives a funny twist, and my hands shake as I lower Lily's breakfast down on the counter in front of me.
"Harri?" Draco asks, his voice full of concern, oblivious to Lily who is madly straining against her straps in her bid to grab his wand. "Are you okay?"
I give myself a mental shake. "Yes. It's just all so... confronting."
Draco glances down at his wand, understanding dawning on his face at once.
"You cannot just turn your back on magic forever," he murmurs gently, glancing up, his silver eyes piercing mine, "Lily has a right to know who she is, and who you are."
Lily begins to wail, her attempts of getting her hands on Draco's wand futile.
"Magic killed everyone I love." I say, hurriedly crossing the room with my daughter's porridge before she starts a full on tantrum. "I won't let it destroy Lily like it did me."
"This isn't the answer." Draco says, taking the bowl from me, clearly keen to feed Lily himself. "She doesn't even know those that should love her. You're not just keeping her from magic, Harri, you're keeping her from her family."
"I am her family!"
I storm back to the kitchen to fetch her sippy cup.
"And what if something happens to you?" Draco calls after me. "Who does she have then? Look, Harri, I've no doubt that at the moment, you are all Lily needs. But that won't last forever. There are a whole bunch of Weasleys out there who will give her unconditional love if you would just let them."
I watch as he begins to feed Lily who greedily accepts each loaded spoonful of porridge he offers her.
"You can't make me go back." I say snappily.
"No, I can't." He glances up at me, something wicked glinting in his eye. "But nothing is stopping me from telling them."
I balk. "You wouldn't dare!"
"Oh, wouldn't I?" he drawls. "Potter, I seem to remember having a similar conversation with you in sixth year when you stubbornly refused to keep my secret."
"And then you Obliviated me!" I splutter, feeling so angry. "And right now I should do the same thing to you!"
"Shame you've given up magic, then," Draco shrugs nonchalantly. "As I said, there's nothing stopping me from going straight to them."
I glare at him, wanting to call him something very rude. But due to my daughter being there, instead I grit, "Would you like a tea?"
"Coffee if you've got some." Draco says, a smirk still flickering at his lips. "Black, no sugar."
"You take your coffee black now?" I ask in surprise, recalling how he used to put milk in practically everything.
There's a small silence as he scoops another spoonful of porridge up. And then he says, to my complete surprise, "I'm a vegan."
"You're a wot?!"
I laugh so loudly that Lily jumps. Draco Malfoy becoming a vegan is just hilarious to me.
"It's not funny, Potter." Draco grits between his teeth. "It's a lifestyle choice."
"Bollocks. You used to love your steak."
"Don't." He mutters, frowning. "What I wouldn't give to eat a cow right now."
"So, why don't you? Who's stopping you?"
He looks as though he's about to say something, but then changes his mind.
"You're very good with kids," I observe, leaning against the counter as I watch him do the aeroplane (or maybe in his case - the broomstick) to a delighted Lily. "Do you think you'll have your own some day?"
Draco's back stiffens. "Maybe. I don't know."
I sense an atmosphere, as though this question has somehow made him uneasy.
Not knowing what else to say, I busy myself around the kitchen making our coffees while Draco continues to feed my daughter her breakfast. She squeals in delight as he zooms the spoon over her head.
"I taught your mummy how to fly," he says to her, "which is a good job, otherwise the dragon in fourth year would have made her toast. And I'm not talking about the breakfast I'm hoping she'll put on for me."
I sigh heavily as I reach for the bread bin, shoving two slices of bread in the toaster.
"Maybe one day I'll be able to teach you to fly too, little Lilykins."
My heart stops at Draco's words, my vision blurring as I stare hard at the toaster.
"But then again," Draco continues. "I'm sure your father will want that pleasure-"
"Toast is ready!" I say a little too jovially as I slam my finger against the cancel button, forcing the barely crisp bread to pop up. "Butter?"
"Vegan."
"Just dry then." I mutter stiffly, throwing the two pieces down on a plate.
I stride over to him, placing his toast and coffee down a little too hard.
He looks up at me, raising an eyebrow. "Everything alright?"
"Fine." I reach down to tickle Lily under her chin. "Do you mind watching over her this morning? I've a few errands I need to run."
Draco frowns. "Errands? You better not be thinking about crawling back to that prick."
I turn away. "Yes. I need my things back." I take a deep breath. "And I need my job."
"No, you don't."
"Draco," I warn, trying to keep my voice low so as not to upset Lily, "you cannot come waltzing into my life and start making demands."
"Yes I can, and I mean it when I say that if you don't tell the Weasleys about Lily then I will."
"Please, Draco." I beg, driving my hands through my hair. "Don't do this to me."
"Don't do this to your daughter, Harri. I know you're better than this."
I start to cry then. I cry because I know I just can't cope with the idea of going back to that world.
Draco immediately throws the spoon back down in Lily's unfinished porridge and scrapes his chair back, standing up to pull me into a hug, holding me so close that I can feel the strong beat of his heart hammering against his chest.
"I'll come with you, Harri." He murmurs against the top of my head as he tangles his fingers in my hair. "I'll be right by your side the whole time. You're not alone. You've never been alone. From that moment when you first stepped into Madam Malkin's, you had me."
His words just make me cry harder. I sob against him, clutching him tight and soaking his shirt with my tears.
"I'm just so scared." I admit, my voice thick and muffled.
"You walked to your death, Harri. I saw you. I saw you be the bravest witch anyone could be. Let Lily see who her real mother is: a brave and beautiful witch who laughs in the face of danger."
"I'm not her anymore." I sob, "I stopped being her the moment I ran away."
"Well then stop running, Harri."
He's right. I know he's right.
We stand there holding each other tightly as Lily babbles happily in her highchair.
"You know your daughter is covering herself in porridge right now?"
I find myself quite unexpectedly laughing, and I pull away from Draco to wipe my face on my sleeves.
"If I agree to come back with you," I say slowly, smiling tearily at the sight of Lily who is now wearing her bowl like a hat, porridge dripping down her face, "will you promise me one thing?"
"Anything."
"Help me find Dudley."
Draco looks at me, his eyes widening in surprise. "Your cousin? Have you not seen him-?"
"He went into hiding with my aunt and uncle three years ago." I explain. "He could be anywhere, and I have no idea how to find him. Apart from Lily, he's the only family I have left in the world."
"Of course I'll help you find him," he says at once. "But does that mean- Harri, are you saying that you're coming back?"
I look up into his hopeful face as my heart pounds uneasily in my chest. And, slowly, I nod.
His face instantly breaks out into a look of pure happiness: his eyes lighting up, and lips tugging into a helpless smile.
"But first I need you to look after Lily whilst I go and get my things back from the club." I say quickly, wanting to get my affairs in order first. "And there's some other loose ends which I will need to tie up."
I try to ignore the ball of anxiety expanding inside my chest, the idea of going back and facing my past terrifying me.
"I'm happy to look after Lily, you know that. But let me go to the club. I don't trust that prick."
"Fine." I say, knowing arguing with him about it is pointless.
He takes my hands in his, smiling warmly down at me. "You're doing the right thing, Harri. For you and Lily. And I'll be right by your side the whole time, I promise."
I close my eyes, experiencing a rush of pain.
I'm never going to say goodbye to you again. I promise.
Promises no longer mean anything to me anymore, but Draco is right - I need to start being brave and put Lily first.
It is time to go back.
******