A week had passed. It was Friday night, and one of the cops that did work at Jump Street before I got there, was getting married and they were having his bachelor party. All the guys were invited, Tom, Doug, Harry, Booker, and Adam. Booker was planning the party and going to have stripper pop out of the cake. This week I had a case with Judy, and we were going to ride in her car, but I forgot something in my desk. I was headed in to get it, when I heard Booker ask the guys if they were ready for this party tonight. He was assuring them the girls that were going to be there were the hottest. Ladies for every man tonight. I went ahead and just left without what I needed. It made me sick just hearing it, thinking about Tom.
I was jealous but I knew that I had no right to be. I mean I will never be with Tom. Even if he wanted to be, I'd be too scared to, and he would never want me.
I had Friday off, so I spent the day trying not to think about the fact Tom was probably going to be hooking up tonight. I really wish that I was not falling for him. I have to face the fact that I am.
My aunt wanted us to come to her house for dinner, me and my dad. Jay was invited but he had to decline as he was out of town because of their friend's having the baby.
I met my dad there and we went in together. Of course, Kris was there. But thankfully Rob was not.
Dinner was supposed to be at 8. My aunt prepared cocktails and snacks for us to eat.
Kris apologized to my dad, and to me, for her deceit, lying, and betrayal. She talked about how she loved growing up with me and how much my dad meant to her, and she hoped that in time I would forgive her, and she hoped that my dad didn't hate her and that she wouldn't lose him like she lost Jay. My dad told her while he mostly blames Rob, thinks she was a victim, he is on my side, and what she did the lying and going behind my back was unforgiveable, and he understands if I can never be family with her, but he still loves her, and believes that she is sorry.
The whole conversation was just cringe for me. I am thinking of all days, I mean Tom is out tonight, he was going to have lots of girls there who wanted a hookup. Then I have to sit here and listen to Kris. And i don't blame my dad, I know that he has been a big part of her life, and I do believe that Kris adores my dad and thinks of him as like a adopted father. But he's, my dad. Not hers. I know that my dad has loved Kris since the day she was born, so did my mom, and that if my mom was here, she would be the same way. She would not be able to hate her niece.
My dad said, I hate what you did, and it's unforgiveable, wrong, but I can't hate you. But you have to think about how your actions hurt my baby girl. And you have to leave her alone. I know you wish you two were close still, but it's her choice and you and Jackie, I'm sorry but you have to respect that fact that Kris destroyed their relationship.
Jackie and Kris both cried. My dad had his arm around me. He said, "My little girl did nothing to deserve this. She loved Rob with all her heart, and she loved you like a sister. She has always been there for you supporting you your whole life. She was lied to and stabbed in the back by someone who should have had her back. And I'm sorry but you have to understand you did this. You destroyed what you have, and you can't keep trying to have Sydney over to try and talk her into not being mad. it doesn't work that way.
They both cried. Jackie said, "I know how badly you were hurt, and honey I hate it. Kris knows how I feel about what happened. But she fell in love and she's only human, and I am so sorry."
Kris said, "I guess then mom we better just forget about this, and go with plan B." Jackie said yes.
My dad said, "Forget what," Kris looked at him, me and then her mom. She said, "never mind."
I wish my dad would have just let it go, but he could see my aunt was so upset and crying. She then was hugging Kris and said I don't know what we will do, but I'll think of something.
My dad insisted. So Jackie explained that they were hoping that they could ask my dad a big favor, but that they realized he would say no so it's ok. But he insisted.
I really was not prepared for what they wanted to ask. I mean it never registered to me at all, that this would be even a possibility. I guess it should have.
My dad insisted, so Jackie said, "you know that Kris is my whole life. And I never got to get married, and so I have dreamed about her wedding and giving her the best wedding day. I mean my sister and I dreamed about both of our girls having their dream weddings.
Don't cry Sydney. I tell myself. Please don't cry.
My dad said, "yes Jackie. I know."
Jackie said, "it's just I will think of something. But we were hoping that Sydney would soften a little and we understand why she can't. But we have a major problem with the wedding. I mean it's not a problem, it's just not how we had always planned this big day."
My dad said, "what is it"
Jackie said, "As you know my jerk of an ex, dumped me when he found out I was pregnant, and has not sent one dime of child support."
My dad said, "yes if you need money to pay for the wedding. I can do that."
He looked at me.
Kris said, "that's not it. Growing up without a dad, would have been terrible and hard on me, if I didn't have you. But the fact that you have been here for me, for my mom, I mean you and Auntie, but she's gone and I miss her so much. But you have stepped up and made sure that me and mom had everything we needed. I mean you let me tag along on the father daughter days at school, you helped pay for my clothes for back to school." he said, "I was happy to do so. I have always felt bad that Richard let your mom and you down. Especially when I'm the one who got your mom a date with him to start with."
Jackie said, "it's just that every girl wants a perfect wedding. Kris knows how bad she hurt the whole family. We don't want to be disrespectful to Sydney. It's just Kris has no one to walk her down the aisle. I mean if she was marrying anyone but Rob, the plan was always to be you walk her down the aisle"
Oh my God. They want my dad to walk her down the aisle. Down the aisle to marry my ex. My recent ex, who cheated on me with my cousin. My dad looked at me.
He said, "I'm honored that you have asked me. I would love to if you were marrying anyone but Rob." My aunt and Kris cried. My dad felt horrible. I could tell. kris said, "it's ok, I mean we wanted to ask. But I'm sure other brides have walked alone."
I thought to myself, yeah bitch walk alone down the aisle to that jerk and I wish you would fall down.
My dad said, "ladies, I wasn't expecting this. I really should have been. I mean I know that I've been like a dad to you, and you don't have a dad. I know how all brides want to have a father walk them to their groom. I do need to talk to Sydney about this and I will not do this if Sydney is not ok with it. She is my daughter. Her needs and wants and feelings are the only ones who matter." Kris said, "Thank you for even considering it." Jackie said, "let's leave them alone, and go prepare the cake and coffee."
I tried to not cry, but couldn't help it. My dad said, "I'm so sorry. I'll tell Jackie no." he hugged me.
I said, "Dad you don't have to do that. I know you love me, and I know that you were a father to her. You have been since she was a little girl. I know that you are such a good man, a good dad, a good uncle, that you don't stop loving a child because they make a mistake."
He said, "True there is nothing you or Jay could do to make me not love you. But honey what Kris did hurt you, you are my daughter, she is my niece."
I said, "yes she did hurt me. But she kind of did me a favor. I mean Rob is not the man I thought he was. And he's not a good guy. He's evil. He's bad. I mean anyone who could do what he did. Is not a good guy, nor one I would want to spend my life with or give my love and loyalty to."
He said, "I agree honey 100 percent. Rob is not good enough for you. And I know that your prince is out there. And after you take some time and heal from all the lies and betrayal, you will find him, and he will spend every day cherishing you and adoring you and giving you all his love and loyalty and devotion. The way I adored your mother, and still do to this day, is the kind of love you deserve and the kind of love you will have. I believe that. You and Rob were not meant to be together. Fate stepped in. I'm sorry that fate brought Kris to him, but you deserve better than that loser. Kris is making a mistake honey. She will regret marrying him when he cheats on her and trust me, he will. If he can cheat on you and lie to you like he did, he will her. Not to mention if you wouldn't have dumped him and found out, he'd still be hiding her. He treated her like trash. And I really think because she felt abandoned by her dad, she thinks that is what she deserves, a guy who hides her and treats her like trash."
I said, "yeah maybe so daddy."
He said, "Sydney if you don't want me to do this, then tell me. I would never do anything to hurt you." I said, "Daddy I'm not a little girl anymore" He said, "You're always going to be my little girl" I smiled.
I hugged him. I said, "I love you daddy" I kissed his cheek.
I said, "Go ahead if you want to do it. it's fine." He said, "honey are you sure." I said, "yes. I think momma would want you to. And just the fact that you told them no because of me, and left it up to me, means so much to me. I know you love me. it's fine."
He said, "Sydney you are the most beautiful girl on the outside and inside. You have such grace. I am very proud of you always. But especially tonight, with you agreeing to let me do this for your aunt."
I said, "Aunt Jackie has always been there for me, and I mean she's momma's sister. How could I say no."
Aunt Jackie had heard me and Kris. She cried and gave me a hug. She was telling me again how sorry she was that Kris and Rob hurt me, and thank you. Kris wanted to hug me, but I backed away. Kris hugged my dad, and then thanked him and me.
Kris had brought the dessert out. I said, "Daddy I have to go. I am supposed to meet my coworkers they are having a get together. I told them I'd stop by." My aunt winked at me.
My dad walked me out, and then he asked me again at the car if I was ok with it. I said, "yes daddy I am. It's fine."
He went back in. I watched him walk in. Then i fell apart crying in the car. I backed out and drove about a block to where there was a church, and pulled into the parking lot so that I could just sit and cry.
I mean I hadn't even thought about it. I should have. I guess.
It's fine if kris and Rob get married. I don't want him. But he's my dad. And I know how much this means to my aunt. It just hurts. I wish they would not have asked. I mean it would be different if someday I could get married. And have my dad walk me down the aisle to my handsome groom. But that is never going to happen. Not that I could find a handsome groom, even if I wanted to risk it.
I have accepted it and made peace with the fact that I will be single the rest of my life. I always dreamed about having a fairy tale love story like my mom and dad. Marry a handsome, sweet, good man, who would be a good husband, best friend, and great dad Protector. But that's not in the cards for me.
I made peace with it. I mean letting go of that romantic dream and wanting to be like my mom have a great love and a great marriage. I know I can't and won't have it. But it is really hitting hard realizing that I won't ever get to have my dad walk me down the aisle. But Kris will.
I burst into tears. I pick up the phone to call Jay. But then I didn't. I mean I need to talk to Jay about this, but I don't want to ruin his night. I mean he just texted me before dinner, pictures of the new baby. Allison's bestie is married to Jay's best friend. So Jay is going to be proud godfather. He's happy and celebrating.
I wish I would not have thought celebrating. That makes me think of Tom. I know that Tom told me that if I ever needed him to just call, but I can't do that to him. I mean make him leave the party. Make him give up the fun he is having and sex that he is going to get. I mean he's a good guy and he doesn't go out and have sex a lot. He deserves this night. And I can't ruin it. It's not my business. Even though it is hurting. I have to get over this crush I have on him. Otherwise, I am going to be hurt a lot.,
I drive. I don't want to go home yet. Just sit alone in an empty house.
I end up driving downtown. To that club that Booker is throwing the big bachelor party. I am not going to bother Tom. I'm not going to call him, and ruin his hookup. He's been a good friend to me, so I will be a good friend to him, and not bother him. I just am going to drive by. I guess hoping against all hope, that I don't see his car. Which doesn't mean anything because he might have rode with Harry or Doug.
I drive by the bar, and I don't see his Mustang. I drive in the back parking lot of the bar and still don't see it. I think he is probably with Harry or Doug, I mean riding with them and since they are going to just go home with girls, they all rode together probably.
I end up going by his apartment. I know that the party started at 7. It's 8 40 now. I just thought I'd drive by and see if his Mustang is there. I mean I might have missed it at the bar parking lot, it's hard to drive and look.
His car is out front of his apartment building. I turn to drive home. I mean seriously I'm turning into a stalker. And what good does seeing his car do. I know that he rode with Doug or Harry. But I get half way to my house and think what if he didn't. I mean what if he for some reason is at home. I know that's wishful thinking. That is just me hoping. He didn't stay home. Why would he? He is single, he is one of the guys. He was friends with the groom. I mean of course he's not at home. But if I could put my mind out of it's misery. I mean what if I'm obsessing over him having sex tonight and he's home.
Only way to find out is to go there and knock on his door. I mean I can't call him because if I call he will leave the party if I ask him to. And that would ruin it for him. But if I knock on the door, no answer, I will know that he's at the party. And he doesn't have ring doorbell or any security video. he would not know that I am knocking or that I even stopped by. It's not going to hurt if I just knock on his door. He will never know.
Before I can talk myself out of it. I am knocking on his door. I realize that I have been holding my breath. I mean because of how upset I am, and I really wish he was home, I need him.
Tom said, "just a minute." Oh my God he is home. Or am I dreaming that he said that, maybe I'm just wanting him to be home.
Tom opens the door. He had a white towel over his shoulder. His abs were all sweaty, and he had dumb bells heavy ones in his hand. And a water bottle in his other hand. He has never looked more perfect.
He said, "hey Sydney come in" I was so happy to see him, relieved that he was home, that I burst out into tears. He put the weights on the floor, and the drink down, and gave me a hug. I was crying. Tom said, "Sydney what happened. Let's go sit down."
I mean what do I even tell him. I mean yes, I'm crying because my dad is walking her down the aisle, and I will never get to have him walk me down the aisle, but also out of relief that he is home, that he is not at Booker's party. That he is not hooking up tonight. I mean I'm just so emotional about it all..
I said, "Tommy I'm so sorry to just barge in on you like this. I'll go." I hurry to the door. But before I can open it, I feel Tom's hand on my shoulder turning me around. He said, "no you aren't going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong."
I cry. Tom hugs me again. He said, "I'm sorry. I just realized." My heart sinks because I think he is going to say that he just realized he is late for the party. I mean he probably was just going to go late, instead of going there when it started. That is why he is home.
He said, "I just realized that I need to go put a shirt on. I was hugging you and I'm all sweaty. I'm so sorry Sydney." I said, "Tommy that's fine." He said, "I'll be right back, you sit down ok, make yourself at home. Can I get you a water or pop?" I said, "I can get it." Tom said, "ok I'll be back in just a minute, then you can tell me what's wrong."
Tom's view:
Dammit she is crying again. Why does that hurt so deep in my chest? I really hate the way Sydney is getting to me. I can't be falling for her. But yet I am. I was trying to keep it to myself. But the guys can tell, and so nonstop they have been kidding me about it. Teasing me about finally having a date with my dream girl. Teasing me about the fact that I did not want to go to the party tonight and find a girl to hook up with. I mean that part of my life is done with. Not ever going to do that again. As long as Sydney is in my life. I will never trust another girl in my life. Even Sydney. I won't give her the power to hurt me, and I think Sydney could hurt me worse than any other girl. But let's face it, even if I wanted to start a relationship with her, I don't stand a chance. I'm out of her league.
I need to get out there and see what's wrong, but I'm kind of taking my time. Because my heart is racing. The minute I went to the door and saw that it was Sydney. I got so excited to see her, I almost feel like I'm going to pass out. I need to keep playing this cool, so that she doesn't pick up on it, and then feel uncomfortable around me.
Sydney's view:
I am sitting on the couch. Tom comes out. He said, "Sorry about that." I said, "that's ok. I'm so sorry Tommy. I promise I'm really not a stalker. I just drove by downtown. I wasn't going to go in and bother you. I just didn't see your car, and" Tom said, "Sydney slow down a minute. I'm not following."
I said, "I wasn't going to bother you, I just" Tom said, "I know you're not a stalker, I would not care if you were though. You can stalk me." He smiles at me, making me almost speechless.
Tom said, "you went downtown?" I nodded. He said, "why did you think my car would be downtown, you mean you went by the station because you thought I would be at work?" I said, "no I thought you would be at Club Indigo" He stared at me for a minute.
He ran his hands through his hair. He said, "oh yeah I didn't want to go to Charlie's bachelor party." I said, "oh" Tom said, "I didn't know you knew about that." I said, "I overheard Booker talking to you guys about it. About how great it was going to be for all you men. You all would owe him big."
Tom's view:
Thank God I didn't go. I could have totally ruined my relationship with Sydney. I mean I wouldn't have hooked up because of her, but she wouldn't have known that.
I said, "yeah I like Charlie, he's a good guy, I gave him a gift card, told him I was happy for him, I just didn't want to go." She nodded. Then smiled.
I said, "before you tell me what's wrong, Sydney I'm pretty sure I told you that I don't want you coming to my apartment without letting me know you are on the way. I mean at night especially. I would hate to think of you being jumped outside walking up the stairs to my place, and I not even know you are out there. Please"
I said, "I know I'm sorry Tommy. I hate to just barge in on you and dump my drama on you. You probably wish I had another friend that I could." I took her hands. I said, "no I don't. Sydney, I want you to come to me. I told you that you can call me day or night anytime you need me. You can count on me to be there for you. I just worry about you being out by yourself. I know you're a cop, and I know you can take care of yourself, but um after what happened to Judy. Sydney I just am going to worry about you. I mean Judy doesn't go out at night alone, and if she does, she calls one of us to let us know she is on the way so that we can go out and wait for her. I want you to do that too."
Sydney's view:
I said, "I will Tommy. I wasn't planning on stopping. I don't know. I was so upset, I just didn't want to go home and sit in my empty house, all alone, and I wished you were not at the party, and then I guess I was hoping that maybe if I drove by Club Indigo that your car wouldn't be there, and then I was shocked when I didn't see it, but I figured that you just rode with Doug or Harry, and then I drove by your apartment, just to see if your car was there, and I thought you are probably at the club, but it wouldn't hurt to just knock on your door, you would not know it if you were gone, and I would not be bothering you."
Tom said, "you know that if you needed me, you could have called me and even if I was at the club, I would have left." I said, "I know but I didn't want to ruin your fun with your friends. I mean you work so hard, and barely take a break. I'm sorry I'm so needy. You probably don't want to be my friend" I cry. He hugged me. He makes me feel so safe when he hugs me.
Tom said, "Sydney I want to be your friend. I want to be here for you. You want to tell me what's wrong."
I said, "I would have gone to Jay, but he's out of town, their besties had their baby girl. Jay is the godfather, and I didn't want to bother him."
Tom said, "Did something happen? Is it Rob? Did he show up at your place bothering you?"
I said, "no. My Aunt Jackie wanted me and my dad to come over for dinner at her place. And Kris was there, but thankfully Rob wasn't. Kris went on about how sorry she was, and that she hoped that my dad didn't hate her, because of what she did. And my dad told her that while he hates what she did, he can't hate her, but that she needs to understand and so does my aunt, that they can't keep upsetting me, and asking me to forgive Kris, that Kris needs to understand by what she did, betraying me like she did, that she destroyed our relationship. They need to accept it, and stop with the dinners and begging me to forgive."
Tom said, "That's good. They need to. I don't know how your cousin has the nerve to face you."
Tom said, "I can't imagine how hard it is on you to have to sit there with that bitch. You are definitely too sweet Sydney. Because there is no way in hell I could sit there and be in the room with people who betrayed me. I mean I was betrayed by a lot of friends, and if they would have dared sit in a room with me right after that, I would have kicked their ass."
Tom said, "I'm curious on something, when you found out, and kicked Rob out of your house, did you hit him? And did you hit your cousin?" He smiled. I laughed. I said, "yep, I was so horrified, I just screamed at them, and then told Rob to get the hell out of my house. I ran out and ran down the stairs, and he came running down the stairs after me calling my name, telling me to wait, and fumbling with his jeans to get them on. Then he was trying to explain saying he was so sorry, and you want to know what else he did."
Tom said, "What" I said, "He pretended like this was the only time, like he was saying how he was so sorry, he loved me so much, please we can work this out, I never meant to hurt you, I had too much to drink, and I don't know I kissed her, and then it all happened so fast." Tom stared at me.
He said, "what, so you are telling me that he was cheating for 8 months on you with her, and he acted like that was the first time." I said, "yep" Tom said, "you really need to tell me where I can find him, so that I can kick his ass."
I laughed. he said, "I'm serious. I hate this guy. Please tell me you didn't take him back only to find out" I said, "no, I mean I believed him that it was what he said he kissed her it led to sex just that time, but like he betrayed me, with my cousin, he was having sex in our bed, kissing is one thing that maybe eventually I could have forgave, worked past it, but sex no. I know I'm old fashioned but sex to me is love. Sex is a commitment. For me to have sex with Rob I had to believe he loved me and wanted to be with me forever. So one time or 8 months didn't matter."
I said, 'I told him to get his stuff, and get out, and said I want my key right now. I'm going back to work and when I get home, you'd better have your stuff out or it's going into the trash and front yard. He handed me my key and then followed me to my car, and was grabbing my arm to turn me around, and I told him to take his hands off of me, or I'm warning him, and he didn't listen Tom, I mean he wouldn't let go, he kept telling me he loved me, he was so sorry, we could fix this, he would do whatever, and I told him to shut up, and he said he knows I'm hurt but we can work through it, and he would not let go, so I knee'd him as hard as I could."
Tom said, "yes, that is what I wanted to hear. I bet he let go real quick and dropped down to the ground." We laughed. I said, "yes and of course the bitch was begging me to forgive her, and just listen to her, she didn't mean for it to happen, she loved me, she would never want to hurt me."
Tom said, "yeah she loved you so much she was sleeping with your man." I said, "exactly. So I left, and then went straight to my brother and told him, and then he had me come and stay with him, and then daddy wanted me to move home awhile. So I did that. Jay went and beat up Rob, and then I find out from Jay because Allison heard from some girls that Rob lied, it was not just the one time, it started 8 mths ago. She told Jay right away. Then Kris kept showing up where I was, to talk to me, wanting me to forgive her, throwing the you are my sister card, and I finally had enough, and I slapped her. I know that I was wrong in the sense that I can't hit someone. But at that point Tom I didn't care if I was arrested or lost my badge. I mean my job was a nightmare with all those guys."
Tom said, "I'm sorry that you had to work with pigs like that. I will teach them a lesson if you let me." I said, "No thanks"
Tom said, "are you feeling better?" I said, "Yes thank you for letting me ruin your night." Tom said "hey you aren't ruining my night. My night consisted of working out, and then I was going to do some work on the case that we got going on next week. I was going to look up a few things and then was hoping that this weekend we could go over things since it's just us on the case." I said, "sure. Anytime Tom, I have no life except my job." He smiled.
Tom said, "Were you just upset about the dinner or did anything else happen"
I said, "I forgot about it. That's how much better I feel" I laugh. I said, "I should have realized that they would ask this. I wasn't prepared for it. It was a shock, and then I mean I get it, I really do, and what it means to my aunt, but it just hit me. I feel stupid that I didn't think they would ask my dad that, but it makes sense. See my aunt fell in love when she was in high school, and then when she got pregnant he dumped her, and took off with another girl, and didn't want to be a dad, so my mom and dad helped her all they could, with babysitting, and money, and like my dad would let my cousin come with us on all the father daughter events at my school, and I know my cousin adores my dad, and thinks of him as like a father, even though he's just an uncle, so it should not have surprised me."
Tom said, "Wait no please you aren't telling me that the bitch asked your dad to" I said, "Walk her down the aisle to my ex man. Yep she sure did." Tom said, "does this chick not have any conscience at all?" I said, "Guess not." He said, "But your dad said hell no right." I said, "my dad said while he would have loved to if she was marrying anyone but Rob, since it was Rob and how they betrayed me, he had to say no. My aunt and Kris said they understood and then cried. I knew it was making my dad feel bad, because I get it, I mean he is her uncle, he has supported and been in her life, and my aunt is my mom's sister, so he felt bad. So he then said he would need to talk to me alone about it, and if I said no then it was final answer."
Tom said, "you said no right. Tell me Sydney that you stood up for yourself and said no."
I said, "Tom, I told my dad that I knew he loved me. And that I know that my dad was like a father to her, and I mean my dad is a great man, he was a great husband, great father, I get he's not just going to stop loving his niece. A parent loves unconditionally. You don't stop loving your kid if they miss up." Tom said, "True, but she is not his kid. You are." I said, "I know that, and my dad said the same, but I could tell that my dad felt guilty about hurting my aunt. I also know that my mom would want him to do this."
Tom stared at me. He said, "you really are too nice for your own good. Sydney They betrayed you in the worst possible way. How are you able to even be in the same room as them. I don't get it. And then to tell your dad it was ok, even though it's obviously not. I mean it hurts you."
I said, "Tom my dad didn't do this. My dad told them no. Even though he felt bad for hurting them. He took my side. That's all I can ask for. That means so much to me that he said no. But my aunt is innocent in this. She never got her dream wedding, she has had several boyfriends since, and one she lives with, but never married. I know that she kind of lives her old dreams through her daughter, and planning her daughter's wedding is everything to her. I love my aunt too much to ruin that dream."
Tom said, "but you're hurt." I said, "yeah I mean I left right after, and I had to drive just to get out of that block, and then pulled into a parking lot, and broke down."
Tom said, "I'm sorry. You should have called me, I would have come to that parking lot." I said, "Thank you. I didn't want to ruin your night with the guys." Tom said, "Sydney you could not ruin my night ever."
I said, "it just hurt, because you know all my life, when I was little, and in grade school, junior high, I wished and hoped and dreamed that I could have a fairy tale love, like my mom, a handsome man who would want to marry me, and love me, and have babies. None of the guys that I ever crushed on liked me, they were best buddies with Jay, and thought of me as a little sister or as one of the boys. Asking me for help to date my friends, I gave up thinking I could have that love story, then I met Rob in college, and I could not believe that a hot guy like Rob would even notice me. He was sweet, romantic, always doing little things for me, and I mean I finally had a boyfriend, and I had this love, and Rob led me to believe that marriage was in the future."
Tom said, "I don't know him but I hate him" I said, "anyway I guess it hurt tonight because while I made peace with not having that good man and marriage and love, I'm happy with my life, I love my job, I have new friends, it just hurt because I will never get to have my daddy walk me down the aisle to my groom, yet that bitch does get to have him walk her down the aisle to my ex. It just hurts."
He hugged me. He said, "Sydney first, you are a beautiful girl, any man who believes in marriage, would love to marry you, and would be blessed to have you. So don't give up on that dream of yours. Don't say never. Don't let Rob win Sydney. I mean not all men are as bad as Rob. Look at your dad. You said he adores your mom, still, I mean he never cheated on your mom when they were together, right"
I said, "no Tom never. I mean he adores her still. Even though she's been gone since I was 10. I mean he's had dates, and he has lady friends, but never anything serious."
Tom said, "Can I ask you something about that. I mean if your dad came to you and Jay and said that he met someone and was wanting to get married, would you get mad or be ok with it?" I said, "I want my dad to be happy. I mean it would hurt me. But if she treated my dad good, and wasn't a bitch just after his money and would want to separate me and Jay from him, I would give him my blessing even if it hurt me. But it would hurt me deeply. Kind of shatter my fairy tale love story. Because for me Tom, if I were to marry a man, it's forever, I don't want to be a girl who sleeps with guy after guy after guy. Love to me is forever. And even if they were passed, I would still only love them. , I mean I think that if you get married, it should be to a partner who is your entire world, I mean they are your lover, your best friend, your soulmate, the one person you want to be with whether you are happy, sad. You should like the person as a person, not just love them."
Tom nodded. He said, "The reason I asked you that, is my mom, I mean she has boyfriends, she has sex with them, and it just makes me sick. I don't like any of them, and she wants me to be ok with it, and Sydney I just feel like she's replacing my dad, and to me my dad can't be replaced. I mean I don't get mad at her, or anything, but she has moved in with them" I said, "oh wow Tommy. I'm sorry. I really can't imagine how hard that is on you." He said, "yeah it sucks when she does move in with them I have to do all the moving. Pretty funny I rented a uhaul and had Doug and Harry help me get all her stuff, and then like two weeks later she is calling me asking me to come move her back home" I said, "two weeks" Tom said, "yeah so I rent it again and get the guys, and you want to know why she moved home so soon" I said, "why" He said, "made me sick to hear but she said he wasn't good in bed" Tom smiled. I laughed. I said, "Tom how did you stand to hear that. I mean my dad if he is having that he does not tell me or Jay. I mean I guess he probably is because he's a man and men need sex. But"
Tom said, "not all men need sex Syd." I said, "I know. Sorry" he smiled. Making me laugh.
Tom said, "you hungry, you want to go out anywhere? Or I can order us food to be delivered?" I said, "Delivery sounds good. But if you are needing me to go, Tommy I can just go on home. You don't have to put up with me."
He said, "I think that's the other way around. You putting up with me" He laughs. He said, "What sounds good." I said, "whatever you want." He said, "Chinese" I said, "ok."
Tom said, "Sydney if you want to stay the night here again, it's fine. Unless it makes you uncomfortable." I said, "I'd love to. Thank you Tommy" He said, "I feel bad that you are on my couch though. If you want my bed I will take the couch" I said, "No Tom. Your couch is fine."
The food came and Tom went to the kitchen. I got up and was looking at the pictures on his wall. Of him and his dad. He saw me looking at it. He said, "That picture was taken when my dad got an award." I said, "it's very nice picture Tommy." He said, "Thanks" I saw his saxophone. I said, "oh you place. Sax is my favorite" He smiled. He said, "yeah I play a little. Play guitar too." I said, "Cool maybe sometime you would play for me" Tom said, "sure." I saw his video games. I said, "so you play video games of course. Like don't all guys love them" He laughed. I said, "I'm not very good at them. But I play a few. My brother Jay is really good at them and has like all the different sets of games."
I said, "maybe you could teach me how to play or I could watch you play tonight." Tom said, "I'd like that, let's do it after we eat."
Tom played and was trying to show me, but I wasn't very good at it. I kept getting killed. I would laugh, so would Tom. Like I would die quick, like he'd start my game over." We ended up falling asleep on the couch. I mean I think I fell asleep first, I woke up to my head on Tom's shoulder, and his arm around me. I stared at him for a while then went back to sleep. We were covered up in a blanket.
I was thinking this is what it would be like if Tom and I were together. I mean a perfect night home, well to end the night we could have sex. Then I went back to sleep.
Tom's view:
Tonight, has been perfect. I mean just the two of us. After we talked, and she wasn't upset any more. I think I cheered her up. She said I did. We ordered food, and then played video games. I think she only did it to be nice, to make me feel good about being so good at games, because honestly, I don't think she liked the game or to play. And let's face it, she is terrible at that game. I t tried hard to not laugh, when she would get killed, I mean but it was crazy, I no more than reset the game, and before I could sit back down, she was dead. She was laughing about it, so I laughed too.. Then before I know it she fell asleep on my shoulder. I was playing the game and trying to show her a secret move, and then she didn't answer, and then her head goes down on my shoulder. Totally messed up the game and I ended up getting killed. But I didn't care. For the next hour, I just sat there, and stroked her hair, and covered us up. I'm not going to go to my room to sleep, I have the chance to hold her all night and watch her sleep, that is what I'm going to do. I mean this would be our life every night, if things were different. If I was a man who dated, and if she was a woman that I could get, which I don't date, and she is out of my league. Of course, if we were together, we would end the perfect night with sex.