By the time Nyx left Rhysand's office, Theia had taken a seat at the bottom of the stairs. Her eyes felt swollen and sore, legs curled beneath herself as she laid her head against the banister. His footsteps grew near and she lifted her eyes. Drenched in shadow and moonlight, Nyx looked as beautiful as he had when they left for the Hewn City. A warrior in every way, a future High Lord, a leader.
He lowered himself to his knees and brushed his knuckle over her cheek. Theia's tired eyes fluttered at the touch. He didn't speak as he pulled her by the waist and Theia's legs wrapped around his hips. Nyx rose from his knees and began carrying her up the stairs. The emotional warrior within herself made Theia despise how much she adored being in his arms. She felt safe, like nothing could get to her.
Nyx walked them into her bedroom and sat Theia on the bed before crouching between her knees. She frowned as she watched him, reaching out to take his hand.
"My father wants to speak with you in the morning. He doesn't want anymore discussion tonight," he murmured, voice hoarse from the shouting he had done. Theia nodded, staring at his hand as she traced the veins from his wrist to his knuckle. She felt like a child, again. A child who had been tattled on, awaiting the scolding from the parent. Rhysand deserved to know how wrong he was, though. Theia would never regret telling Nyx how she felt.
"Nyx," Theia whispered, bringing her gaze to his eyes as she lifted his hand to her cheek. He met her state with that caring look that made her soul crack. She had never lit the room, so the moon was the only light to cast over his features. He always looked more beautiful at night.
"Theia," Nyx responded, ghosting his thumb over the skin of her face. Theia leaned into the touch, using her ankles around his waist to pull him closer. He let out a soft sound as he shifted forward.
"Hold me tonight. I want to pretend, just until the morning, that I was never angry. I'm so tired of being angry. I want you to be here so that all I feel is love."
His lips lifted into a gentle smile. Nyx rose from between her knees, reaching behind himself to unbutton his shirt around his wings. The fabric fell, and he dropped to his knees again. Fingertips danced across her collarbone. His eyes trailed his movements, watching her reaction. Chills erupted across her skin behind his touch.
"Can I undress you?"
"I don't want to-"
"Not for that, Theia. You can't sleep in a gown," Nyx interrupted, offering a small amused smile. Her cheeks heated as she nodded and moved to stand. Nyx looked up at her from his knees. She craved his comforting touch, her eyes fluttering shut as Nyx laid a hand on her hip and urged her to turn.
Exhaustion from her intense emotions had Theia's head dropping forward as Nyx began untying the corset back of the dress. She sighed at the sensation of the boning loosening from her skin. As the ribbons fell free, the dress fell with them. The night air touched her skin in a glorious breath; Nyx's fingers outlining her waist as he moved to the undergarments on her hips. When her body was left bare, she felt a single kiss to the center of her spine before he was back to his feet.
"Come here, pretty," Nyx murmured, walking around her to the bed. Theia turned to see him pulling his trousers off, bare as he climbed beneath the blankets. He held them open, waiting for her to join him. Theia swallowed the sorrow of the night as she climbed over his body and laid herself between his thighs, her head against his shoulder. Nyx pulled the blanket over their bodies and wrapped his arm around her shoulder as an anchor to himself.
"I love you, Nyx," Theia whispered, her fingers ghosting the bulges and valleys of his muscles. She paused over his chest, laying her palm flat over the muscle. His heartbeat seemed to hold her to reality, draw her in when insanity seemed to devour her mind.
"I'm proud of you tonight, my love. You fought when you saw something that no one else had paid attention to." Nyx followed his words with his hand running down her arm to grasp her fingers. Theia shifted, looking up at him. He was always so beautiful.
"What battle will I be walking into tomorrow?" Theia asked softly. Nyx brought her knuckles to his lips, laying a slow kiss to them.
"One that you'll always be able to fight. I see how poor he is at listening. My father always believes he is doing the right thing, and he is skilled at having others believe it. I'm beginning to see the truth, and I think my mother is, too. I understand that long-term beliefs cannot be changed instantly, but I do think he could've done more."
Theia nodded, glad that she was not the only one to see the wrongs in the Night Court. Her longstanding frustration with the High Lord had dissipated in the months she spent around his family. By having his wife become the first High Lady, he seemed to hold a facade of equality, but it only seemed to stay around the females he had a connection to. Reminding him of his sister was not a valid enough excuse for him to treat Theia like she was wrong in her arguments.
Theia curled against Nyx, sighing at the feeling of his skin on hers. Tomorrow, she'd fight. Tonight, Theia worshipped the love Nyx offered her. She'd lay cast in moonlight, kissed by the Night Court heir, feeling her heart swell at every soft whisper.
Her mind turned to the other part of the night, the other observations she had made. Nesta and Cassian dancing together in the back corner, Feyre and Rhysand giving each other looks of adoration. Mates. Theia knew a mate was not in her future. Nyx was in no possible way her equal. He was far above her, destined for a life she could hardly imagine. Theia never believed she'd live to her second decade, let alone find love. It made her swelling heart crush.
"Nyx?" She whispered, lifting her head. Her lover brushed her hair from her eyelashes and offered her a smile.
"Mm?" He hummed. Would she get to love him forever? Theia took a moment to observe his features; his pouted lips, his hooded eyes.
"What if you find your mate?"
Nyx's entire body seemed to still. He stared at her, and Theia could nearly see the heartbreak within his soul. Had he believed they were mates? A fool, he would be.
"What- What do you mean?"
Despite her evident nudity, Theia pushed herself from his body and sat on her heels between his thighs. She frowned as she looked him over again.
"Your mate. Nearly every member of your family has found theirs. Your mother became High Lady because of her status with your father. What will I become? When you find her, will I be forgotten?"
Nyx scoffed, pushing himself onto his elbows. His eyes didn't drop beneath her neck, though he studied every inch of her face. Theia watched him, head tilting as she waited for a response.
"Are you so quick to assume we are not mates?" He finally asked. Theia shrugged, waving a hand between them.
"I see no equality between us. Your quality of life is far better than mine. I have no power, I cannot fly with the damned wings that grew from my shoulders, I cannot fight further than words. You are the product of the two most powerful fae in our world, you're a warrior, you have an entire life ahead of you. Your mate is someone that's far more advanced than I," Theia explained.
Nyx rolled his eyes, an annoyed twist of his head. Theia watched him, her breathing growing heavy. Her chest ached as she watched the realization climb beneath his skin. His face fell, his storm-filled eyes lifting to hers.
"Don't you believe love matters more than fate? Love is laid beneath a choice, fate is a demand of nature. I'd prefer my choice, and I'd choose you."
Theia sighed before climbing back over his body. She hovered over him, eyes falling closed as his hands met her hips.
"You'll lead this court eventually. You'll need a powerful female at your side. You'll need a powerful heir. I'm not fit for that, I know it, and I'm alright with it. I should've thought more about this before falling in love with you, but I just want to know, where will I be when the time comes?"
Nyx brought his hand to her face, brushing her hair from her cheek. He cupped her jaw and Theia leaned into the touch. The more she thought of Nyx's life in the future, the more it hurt. His family had found their mates, so why wouldn't he?
"I understand that you may not be my mate, but I will tell you right now that when I become High Lord, you will be at my side. If anyone in my family or court say anything against it, I'll have their head. There's no guarantee I'll find my mate. Even if I do, it will always be you."
Theia glanced between his eyes, a new sorrow threading around her bones. They were so young, so naive. Nyx was so sure he would bring her up to lead this court, though they still weren't themselves yet.
"When it comes to you making the right decisions for the court, I will gladly love you in the shadows," Theia answered, kissing the inside of his wrist before laying her body on his. She had chosen her words carefully, giving him space to interpret them. In her mind, Theia vowed to love him even if he married another. She'd wait for him in the dark, hold a crumb of his love when he offered the world to his wife. It would be all she needed. If there came a time that Nyx wholly loved another, she'd let him go. There wasn't a world for her that he was not in.
"Theia," Nyx spoke suddenly, making her flinch. She'd expected him to sleep on those words and respond in the morning. Theia lifted her head and met his gaze.
"Nyx?" She answered, voice soft. He didn't speak with words, but responded with his body. Nyx lifted her chin and captured her lips with his. Forgetting the events of the night, Theia let herself be entirely wrapped in him. Her legs moved to either side of his, her fingers threaded in his hair. Love drowned sorrow, and Theia swam in its depth.
She kissed him until her jaw ached and her eyes were too sore to open. Theia drug her lips down his neck and kissed the hollow of his throat, savoring the taste of his skin. She was far too exhausted to take care of the fire he lit in her veins, and she vowed to feed that flame the next day.
"I love you. Theia, I will love you when my body is feeding the soil and my soul is in the stars. It isn't a love for this life, it's a love for every life after. When I become High Lord, I want you at my side. You're my equal in every way, and if the Cauldron does not see that, then I will twist fate with my own hands," Nyx whispered into her hair as they settled back into the bed. She didn't open her eyes- couldn't.
She was afraid tears would return if she spoke. Instead, Theia laid her palm over his racing heart. Her eyes squeezed shut, she tilted her head to press her lips to his bobbing throat. With her index fingernail, she drew three circles over his pulse. She'd love him in the dark, through war, and beneath the sun. Even without words, Theia vowed to give Nyx every thread of her life and soul.