Lauren
Am I being a bitch right now?
Yes.
Was hurting Ethan on my today's to-do list?
No. but I still hurt him.
I didn't feel good doing this but I think we need some alone time away from each other. He can't just call me names and then apologise and expect me to act like before. No, I can't do that.
It's not like I'll avoid him for the rest of my life or something like that. I just need to feel that his apology is genuine. At least this time.
I sighed as my mind was filled with all these thoughts and I didn't know what to do.
I have always been an overthinker but never was the decision maker.
It has always been my mother.
She decided everything for me from the dresses I had to wear on my first birthday to my wedding dress.
I never felt bad because I was used to my mother taking decisions. But now standing up for myself or taking a decision seems strange.
Well, I don't even know if I should blame my mother or just appreciate her.
I exhaled feeling exhausted already.
To distract my mind, I decided to talk to someone. Anyone.
I didn't waste any more time picking up my phone and dialing that one person who would never get tired of me, who would always be there to listen to me. to cheer me up.
"Finally, someone did remember me." Alice's cheery voice filled my ears through the phone.
"Don't be so dramatic, Alice." I scoffed playfully at her.
"We both know that drama is one of the many good things I'm good at."
"Ah, there she is. Self-obsessed bitch." I scoffed playfully.
"I know. Now tell me. did something happen?" her voice changed from goofy to serious.
"You speak as if I call you only when something bad happens."
"Prove me if I'm wrong in saying that, Lauren," she spoke in a very fake sweet voice making me cringe.
"You aren't completely wrong though." I shrugged knowing that she couldn't see my action.
"Well, who cares." I know she must have rolled her eyes saying that.
I smiled at her words.
"So, what happened, Mrs Kingston?" although that name gave me butterflies, I tried masking it by pretending annoyance.
"Don't call me that, Alice."
"Ooh. So, Ethan is the problem right now. What did he do?"
"Nothing. We just had an argument and now I'm ignoring him."
"Aw, such couple goals." I rolled my eyes at her sarcastic tone.
"I'm so glad I'm single right now." She continued.
"You wouldn't be for long, Alice." I raised my eyebrows saying that.
Alice is naturally pretty with her forest green eyes and freckles. Anyone would turn twice to look at her again. She has got that charm.
But Alice is materialistic in nature. I mean we all are but she has a love for materialistic things a bit more. She loves jewellery. She loves luxuries. She loves fancy things. She loves anything that sparkles.
And this is the main reason for her being single. She has high standards that no one could match except maybe the royal Prince Charming himself.
"So, what do you want me to do? Murder Ethan or help bury his body. Or just send him a death threat?" Alice asked me.
"They all sound tempting right now."
"Of course they do." She exclaimed sounding proud at herself.
"But I hardly think he will take any of those threats seriously. Especially when it comes from you." I spoke.
"Wow. That definitely hurt my pride, Lauren. You were supposed to support me, not your husband. Remember we're one team."
"I'm just spitting facts, Alice."
"I swear even a stranger will be more supportive than you."
I chuckled at her words but she stayed silent for a moment.
"So, enough of me. Tell me about your life. What is going on." I asked her.
"That's like the most formal question ever, Lauren."
"Leave it. Are you free right now? Because I have a lot of crap in my mind and I need to unload it somewhere or on someone." She spoke again.
"I'm all ears, Alice."
"So, let me start with that heartless friend of your husband." I could imagine her gritting her teeth saying this.
Ethan's heartless friend?
It can't be Ryan definitely.
"What did Chris do?" I frowned.
"What did he do? Let me rephrase that for you 'What else he didn't do'."
I stayed silent and she continued.
"First of all, he became a major shareholder of the company I work in. and next he decided to shift my working place. Can you believe it? I had to work in his company for a month. And I can't even blame him as his company is sponsoring the fashion week next month so I had to work there. I could accept till working in his company but what he did next is what annoyed me the most." She continued her ramble before I could even reply.
She took a deep breath and even I exhaled the breath I didn't realise I was holding.
"He became my boss, Lauren. He comes from a business background and I am from a fashion background but he still bosses me around all the time. can you believe he wants me to work for him every single second? Sometimes he even uses me as a driver when his assistant and driver are right behind him."
A giggle escaped my mouth when I imagined Alice as a driver for Chris with her pouty face and constant glaring at Chris while Chris feigned ignorance at her.
"Let me tell you something worse that happened recently. One afternoon I had to tag with him for a lunch meeting in a restaurant. The man we had to meet had an emergency so he left early. And when it was time to order food, I ordered some food which was kind of expensive but not too much and he ordered a dish even more expensive than mine."
"And?"
"And then that selfish heartless arrogant son of a bitch pushed the bill on me. I became mute when he told me to pay the bill. And if I was mute before I became dumb when I saw the total bill."
"What?"
"Can you believe it? I would not even throw a fuss if we shared the bill but he made me pay the whole bill, Lauren." She spoke gnashing her teeth.
"Why would he do that?"
"Because he is an arrogant prick."
I laughed.
"I swear I'm waiting for this month to finish so I can go back to my workplace. As soon as the fashion week ends, I'll be free from this ugly goblin's clutches."
I laughed at her goblin comment.
"When is the fashion week?" I asked her after my laugh died down.
"In fifteen days."
"Oh. So, you had to work with him for two weeks more."
"Yes, it seems like it."
"So, do you hate Chris?"
"Yes, a lot. I can't even stand him."
I frowned at her quick response.
"Alice, do you really hate Chris?"
This time she answers my question after a moment of silence.
"Well, yes I do hate him." She hesitated before answering.
For some reason, her answer didn't seem completely honest.
I remember them the night of the party. Sure, they were an odd pair. Chris, a completely self-controlled silent introvert pairing with loud bubbly extroverted Alice. The pair is a sight to look at.
They are polar opposites. But they still had that connection between them. There was some kind of tension between them. They seem to hate each other but I know few people whose love language is hating each other.
"I don't think you hate Chris, Alice."
"Oh, since when did you become a future teller, Lauren."
"Since now. This is my side profession." I joked.
"Ha. Very funny." She said sarcastically.
"And stop taking Chris's side." She warned in a deathly tone.
"Well, he is my friend too, Alice." I spoke innocently.
"Fine. Take his side."
"But let me tell you. I might not know Chris that well but I can tell he doesn't hate you." I defended Chris.
"Explain his actions, then Lauren."
"Well. I mean-"
"Oh no. speak of the devil. He is calling me. I must go back to work, Lauren. I'll talk to you later."
"Sure, love you, Alice" I spoke to annoy her.
"Ew." I'm sure she must've made a face saying that.
That was the only thing she said before hanging up.
I grinned looking at the phone. My mood is slightly better than before. And my mind failed to understand the game Chris was playing with Alice.
Well, Chris is someone who thinks no one is worth his attention and time except his dear ones.
Chris annoying Alice is strange. It is something new.
Annoying someone is also a way of giving them your attention.
But the question here is
Is Chris showing interest in Alice?
***
I didn't know why I was standing where I was standing right now. I didn't even know where this idea came from. One minute I was in my home scrolling my social media and the next I decided to come here.
Elena's house.
Ethan's mother's house.
I know it might seem dumb to stand in front of his mother's house after the fight with Ethan. But the argument happened not because of Elena or me meeting Elena, but because of him throwing reckless words at me. words which hurt me.
It wasn't that difficult to find her address.
It was almost evening and I spent the whole afternoon doing nothing in my home. absolutely nothing. The day passed as I sat in my room and scrolled social media.
I think I can win an award if there's ever a contest for being the laziest person in the world.
I considered my decision to come to Elena's house once again.
Should I just go back?
I didn't know why but I had this urge to check up on her for once because I didn't keep any contact with her since her accident.
I hope she is doing better than before.
I disrupted my second thoughts of going back and made up my mind. I'm already here, I might as well visit her.
Some part of me agreed I should have asked Ethan before coming here. but I'm already here. I respect his decisions and issues with his family, but I didn't want to ask him before making my decisions or for his permission to visit someone.
Even if my decisions are dumb, I'm glad they are mine to take.
I'll deal with him later.
I took a deep breath before resuming my walk to the entrance gate but one of the security guards blocked me from entering any further.
He spoke through the intercom asking me my name and after a moment he showed me the directions to the door.
I thanked him before making my way in.
The house looked like a mansion not just some regular house. It was big.
Did I make a mistake coming here?
What am I going to talk to her?
But having a conversation with her isn't that difficult. She has always been a sweet person to me. and the fact that I didn't at least check up on her since her accident made me feel bad.
With all these thoughts still running in my mind, I rang the bell and the door opened not even a moment later. It's like she has been waiting for me. I'm sure she must have already known about my visit as the guard already informed her so it's no big surprise to her.
"Lauren." She beamed greeting me with a big smile on her face. Her eyes had a slight twinkle looking at me.
I can't believe someone can be this happy seeing me. Me? Damn, I would have never thought.
"Mrs Kingston." I greeted her with a small smile plastered on my face.
"Come in. come in. I would have never imagined you coming here." She said giving me room to enter and leading me to the living room.
She was dressed in simple jeans and a loose shirt. Her hair was in loose curls and it framed her face perfectly.
"I just wanted to check up on you. How is your hand?" I asked her looking at her hand which seemed better now.
"It healed. Thanks a lot for visiting." She still had that soft smile on her face.
I nodded at her response and the positivity erupting from her made me feel comfortable slowly.
"So, how is Ethan?" the smile escaped my face slowly at the mention of his name for a moment but I quickly masked it with a small smile.
"He is good, Mrs Kingston." She frowned at my answer. She must've caught my reaction earlier but didn't seem to push any further and I'm grateful for that.
"Does Ethan know about your visit here?" she asked me after a moment of comfortable silence.
"Um...no." I gave her an awkward smile and her smile dulled for a moment.
"I hope he doesn't get mad at you for meeting me." her face displayed genuine concern for me and that action touched my heart.
"Oh. Don't worry, Mrs Kingston. I can deal with him." I answered.
She gave me a soft smile and my eyes took a glance around the pastel walls that had minimal décor. My eyes roamed around and a single photo frame on the side table beside the couch grabbed my attention.
"May I?" I asked her to get a better look.
Her eyes followed the direction of my hand and a smile graced her lips looking at the photo.
"Of course, dear." She brought the photo frame to me and sat in front of me.
My eyebrows furrowed but a soft smile made its way on my face when I saw a little boy staring back at me.
It was Ethan.
He was dressed in a suit and his small teeth were on full display. He had the biggest smile similar to Elena. Even their eyes look alike.
"I think this picture was taken when Ethan was four." She smiled softly looking at the picture in my hand.
I turned towards her and her eyes looked up from the picture. Her teary eyes held a lot of emotions. They were happy, nostalgic but with a hint of sadness creeping in the corner.
But looking at her now made me realize how she is still living in the past. The past and the memories are the only reason driving her to live another day. This realization twisted my heart for some reason.
"He was beautiful even as a little boy," I spoke looking back at the picture. All my anger toward Ethan vanished temporarily when I saw the little Ethan.
"He is," she spoke.
"Someday, I'm sure your son will look just like him." She added making the blood rush to my cheeks.
I smiled not knowing how to hide the blood rushing to my cheeks.
My son?
Our son?
The thought of our children created butterflies in my stomach.
It was so sweet. A family with him felt so right.
Wait-what am I thinking?
You both aren't even on a talking basis right now, Lauren.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't even offer you anything to eat. Do you want something to eat or drink?" she asked me bringing me out of my thoughts.
she spoke again before I could answer.
"Wait. Let me cook something for you. I'm a great cook." She blurted out not giving me a chance to speak.
"No. No Mrs Kingston. I'm good." I quickly answered her to not bother her any further.
It was evening when I came here and I want to go back before Ethan returns from the office.
"I insist, Lauren." She said getting up from the couch and walking towards the kitchen I suppose.
"Mrs. Kingston. I came here for visiting you. I don't want to bother you. Moreover, remember your hand is still healing." I followed her to the kitchen like a lost puppy.
"My hand is healed, Lauren. And moreover, it's been so long since I've cooked for someone other than me," she spoke turning towards me and staring at me.
"But-"
"Cooking for you is the same as cooking for Ethan. You are no different from Ethan to me, Lauren. Let me cook for you." She said taking my hand and giving it a squeeze.
It made me happy when she said that I'm just like Ethan to her. although I wanted to say no, I couldn't say when I saw her eyes.
I can't be that heartless. Can I?
"Only if you let me help you," I spoke with a smile and she nodded her head returning my smile.
***
"And it was ketchup. Can you believe it." she spoke stirring the contents in the pan.
"No way. How did you fall for that Mrs, Kingston." I shook my head at her chopping onions.
"I was so scared and when I saw him crying, I didn't think twice before believing him." She defended herself.
She was saying about one time when Ethan pranked his mom by coming home crying, with blood on his hand. And when Mrs Kingston saw blood, which was actually ketchup, was more terrified than Ethan himself.
"He laughed at me and couldn't stop laughing for a week when he was successful in fooling me."
She laughed reminiscing the memory and I joined her.
That was a memory to cherish.
We decided to make pasta with bacon and tomato sauce.
I looked down chopping the vegetables but a single thought ran in my head. Ethan's mother was fun to hang out with.
The fact that we both are cooking together and laughing at silly jokes felt unreal. I always wanted to do this with my mom.
Although I don't know how to cook, I wanted to help my mother with cooking. To spend time with her while she cooks. To talk to her, to laugh with her. But all that remained a dream growing up when I saw how distant my mother was to me.
I know my mother loved me but she never felt it was necessary to show her love to me. She never wanted to know what I wanted. What ran through my mind.
It was always about her.
But now doing what I've always wanted to do with Mrs Kingston felt like a dream come true. It was better than the dream I had. I don't think I could be this comfortable with my mom cracking jokes.
I blinked my eyes when I felt like I was about to cry.
But I'm also happy that I felt content for now. Nothing else mattered. Although it wasn't my mom, I didn't find any difference with Mrs Kingston.
We continued cooking and talking about many things. I told her about Alice and all my childhood memories. She listened patiently as I talked about a lot of things without interrupting me.
***
"Can I ask you something, Mrs Kingston?" I spoke as soon as we finished eating. It was dark outside.
"Yes, dear." She said pouring some wine into her glass. She offered me but I declined politely.
My mind was drowning with a million thoughts and I didn't know how to save my sanity. And all those thoughts were about Mrs Kingston, her strained relationship with her son, her past with Eva and everything.
No matter what I couldn't fit her in a black or white box.
Was she a villain or just an anti-hero?
Its now or never Lauren.
Just ask her.
"Mrs Kingston, why do I feel like Ethan's anger towards you is not justified? Like there's more to the past where you aren't guilty. What exactly happened?" I asked and I decided to be fine if she didn't want to answer the question.
"Why do you think so?" she questioned me back and I frowned not knowing how to answer her question.
"I don't know. For some reason I feel like you don't fit in the story where they described you as a villain." I shrugged my shoulders staring at her.
She gave me humourless chuckle before gulping her wine down her throat.
"I wish someone actually listened to my version of the story. But no one did. Not even my son." She started placing her glass down and leaning back on the couch.
I placed my hand on hers and gave it a light squeeze to get her attention.
"Tell me. I will listen." Her eyes teared up a bit at my response and she inhaled deeply.
Everybody needs someone to listen. A person becomes a good listener only when he felt like no one ever listened to him. He listens to others because everyone else has ignored him when he tried to speak.
when no one ever listens to her, it can turn a bold confident girl into a shy timid girl.
It can change a sweet talkative person to a cold silent person.
Sometimes others' actions change our personalities. Because it's not everyone's cup of tea to remain unaffected by other's behaviour towards us.
"Well, I can't say I'm the victim in the present scenario. It all started when Isobel and that little girl entered our lives." Mrs Kingston spoke bringing me out of my thoughts.
"Eva?" I asked her.
Her nod confirmed me.
"I and Ethan's father started having arguments since their arrival. I can't blame Isobel and Eva for those arguments. We started having many problems and neither of us are ready to adjust. And to my misfortune, Ethan had to see all these arguments."
"When our company went bankrupt, Ethan's father lost interest to live. He didn't want to live not even for Ethan and one day he took his life."
I stayed silent and she continued.
"But everyone blamed me. They said I was the reason for his death. I wasn't. I would have stayed beside him in all those problems. But he decided to give up. To choose an easy option. I was on bad terms with Isobel but I never hated Eva, still everyone blamed me. It just broke my heart when Ethan too drifted away from me. He distanced himself from me. He didn't want to see me anymore."
"I tried many times to show him the truth and mend our relationship but I didn't realize that Ethan has already slipped away from me."
"Why did you think Ethan was never ready to mend his relationship with you? Why didn't he listen to you at all?"
I asked her breathlessly trying to find answers to the questions which disturbed me.
Why wouldn't Ethan ever try to listen to his own mother?
Why did he never tried to mend his strained relationship with Mrs Kingston?
why did Ethan hate Mrs kingston so intensely?
Why?
Why?
Why?
She wiped her tears inhaling deep trying to regain her composure. Once she did, she plastered a small sad smile on her lips before answering me.
"I wish I knew, Lauren. But I don't."
Chris' POV:
"That's it?" I asked Joe, my manager, who took the files from my table after I signed them.
"Yes, sir."
"What about the fashion week costumes and designs? Are they ready to be reviewed?" I asked him.
"Alice is working on it, sir. I think they will be finished in like three days." I nodded at his answer getting up from my seat.
Joe followed me walking out of my office.
It was almost eleven in the night and I'm pretty sure everyone had already left.
The office was dimly lighted as it is pretty late and office hours are finished.
"Sir, can I ask you something?" Joe hesitated before asking.
I stopped walking in the office corridor and turned around to face him.
"Why is Alice working here? I mean I understand you bought her company's major shares and there is fashion week coming ahead. But I still don't understand her working here. she can work in her own company-" I interrupted him.
"It wasn't just Alice, Joe. There are few others working here too along with her." I dismissed him.
He looked like he wanted to ask more but decided against him. Joe is smart.
"I'll see you in the morning, sir." He said before giving me a final nod and walked to the elevator.
Although Joe left, his questions didn't leave my mind.
He was right in a way and even I know it.
But why did I wanted Alice to work for me? That, I didn't know.
I didn't even know why I decided to become her company's shareholder in the first place.
But I still remember the way she called me names one night getting all drunk.
She even called me a goblin? Seriously? I'm definitely better looking than a goblin.
But these last few days working with her didn't seem that hard. To be honest, I actually enjoyed her company completely contrary to my opinion on her.
But the way she would grumble against me whenever I ask her to drive me to my meetings excites me.
She is funny in general too.
From the little amount of time I spent with her, I picked a few things about her.
She isn't that mysterious and she can't stop talking even if her life depends on it.
She loves money and lavish things. but at the same time she is very picky when it comes to spending her money on others. Unless she loves you to the death she isn't going to spend her money on you. In fact she would even avoid going to the dinner if she has to pay the bill.
And no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to forget the look on her face when I took her to a lunch meeting with me one day and made her pay the bill after ordering expensive dishes.
Her expression and shock at that moment was worth million dollars.
Although I felt like an asshole for using her money, it gave me a different kind of satisfaction. Just looking at her face alone drives me towards high range in my sadism spectrum.
You can't blame me, she has an ugly face.
Who am I kidding, not even my subconscious would agree with the statement i just passed because she is definitely not ugly.
she is somewhat pretty, I could say.
A bit.
For all the unprofessional things I made her do and silly games I played with her, I decided to pay her a bit more than others at the end of fashion week for all the extra work I had put her through.
Its just like two weeks more, till the fashion week finishes, and she would go back to her work place. Till then I will not give up my chance on annoying her till the end.
Exhaling loudly to remove Alice from my thoughts, I made my way to the office balcony to get some fresh air.
I stood staring ahead at the tall buildings around me. The city looked busy like always with vehicles and city lights.
But I stopped getting comfortable when I heard another voice.
A woman's voice.
A voice that I've been listening a lot lately.
But a frown made its way to my face when I saw the usual chirpy voice in a dull low tone now.
What happened to her?
"I'm trying, doctor." Her defeated voice spoke to the phone in her hand.
Doctor? What happened? Is she alright?
She stayed silent listening to the doctor and spoke again.
"She isn't opening up to me. I don't know why mom doesn't even want to talk to me these days, doctor. Its like she died along with my dad. She doesn't eat or talk or like to do anything anymore. I don't know what to do." I could hear her voice break at the end of the sentence.
I know its wrong to eavesdrop on someone else. But its like my legs have its own brain when I saw Alice crying.
I wanted to know what happened to her.
I wanted to know what made her cry.
What hurt her?
"Sleep paralysis?" Alice's voice trembled saying the word itself.
She stayed silent again listening to the doctor.
"Sure doctor. I'll meet you soon." She hang up and her grip on the phone tightened.
she stayed still for a moment staring ahead before a small sob escaped her lips and eventually she started crying. I could see her shoulders shook violently with every sob and my heart clenched painfully when I saw her in this state.
My first instinct was to comfort her but my feet stayed rooted to the ground.
Her silent sobs hurt me for some reason. I don't know why it did. but my brain was screaming to go and comfort her.
Maybe its just human instinct or maybe something more too.
Her back was facing me and she couldn't see me, as I made my way towards her slowly.
She was still crying and she hadn't realized my presence yet.
I gently placed my hand on her shoulder still staring at her.
She jumped at my touch for a moment and I felt like shit for scaring the poor girl.
The usual fierce Alice is looking so timid right now.
She wiped her tears quickly before facing me and avoiding my eyes.
I ran my eyes all over her face to see her eyes were slightly red and her cute button nose and cheeks were flushed.
"Mr. Hudson." Her heavy voice spoke.
I stayed silent just staring at her thinking how to respond and not sound like a douchebag.
I don't want her to feel embarrassed that I saw her crying.
So I stayed silent and stepped forward getting closer to her.
Her eyes snapped up at my action and she looked confused.
I brought my hand up to her cheek and wiped that single tear that escaped her eye.
She closed her eyes at my action for a moment leaning toward my touch and a few more tears betrayed her eyes streaming down.
I stared at her face remembering every little detail about her face before opening my mouth to speak.
"Can I hold you, Miss Miller?"
Even I myself am shocked at the words that escaped my lips. But there is some other invisible pull inside my heart.
I want to hold her in my arms. I want to comfort her. I want to whisper soothing words while she cried in my arms.
Why?
I don't know and I don't care.
But one thing I knew, I didn't like watching her cry.
She frowned at my question but she looked like she was stopping herself from doing what I said.
She wanted that.
"N-No." she answered meekly.
When she turned her eyes away from me to reject me, I wrapped my fingers around her chin and brought her head back up to look at her properly.
"Its okay, Alice" I spoke softening my voice and her lips trembled trying to control her sobs.
I didn't listen to her anymore and pulled her closer to me by looping my arms around her body.
Her head rested on my chest and her tears were soaking my shirt but I didn't care.
I don't know what happened exactly. But I know it has something to do with her mother.
She tightened her hold on me and I placed my hand on her back tapping her back slightly to provide her some support.
When she started crying hard, I pulled her closer to me and brushed her hair slightly.
"It's ok. Shh." I muttered softly brushing her hair.
From what little time I spent with her, I can say that this vulnerable Alice is new to me. I have always known the fierce Alice.
She always has a comeback for everything.
She can make others laugh with a simple joke.
She loves money but will never do something she doesn't like just for money.
She has compassion and care for others.
Tears don't suit her face. Only a beautiful soft smile.
And I had this urge to protect her from all those pains and just want her to smile like before.
We stayed in the same position on the balcony in the chilly weather till she calmed down and although it felt weird saying this out loud but, she didn't feel that bad in my arms.
Is this weird?
Author's notes
Hey, how are y'all?
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Take care and bye.