Jen's POV
Harry and the rest of the boys had to stay in the Vancouver hospital an extra three days for observation, before I could take him back home to Melbourne.
The swelling had gone down dramatically, and the face I had fallen in love with was starting the shine through again. His ribs gave him pain, but the pain killers seemed to be doing their job majority of the time.
Since Niall had the least amount of injuries, he was able to fly back to the UK before the rest of the boys. Louis and Liam also had a few broken bones, Liam being able to relate to Harry's pain also suffering fractured ribs.
Willow had told me management had called the rest of the tour off, giving the boys time to recover from the accident until they had to put the finishes touches to the album.
Now though, Harry and I were staying in a hotel with Angus, and the other two boys before we all flew out tomorrow. Sophia had also come across to Canada to help Liam get back home, and a female friend of Louis' I had never seen was here for him. Willow had gone home a couple of days ago.
The whole dynamic was weird to me. It was the first time I was hanging out with the boys without Zayn, plus Niall wasn't here, and neither was El. Everything was changing, nothing felt the same as last year, but I guess change was good.
The boys were joking around with Louis' new lady friend, while Soph and I sat back and looked on. The new girls names was Lily, she was the polar opposite to El. She had blonde hair, dressed less conservative than El did, and was more a boys' girl. She was loud and in your face, kind of the female version of Louis.
"What do suppose is going on between them?" Soph whispered.
"Who?"
"This new bird and Louis...Liam mentioned Louis was going out a lot and seeing some people, but why is she here?"
"Isn't she from here? She's got the accent and stuff...maybe she lives around here somewhere and dropped by?" I had no idea why she was here either, but maybe she was just a friend in the area.
"I heard her say she's from LA just before, she obviously flew in here. I mean, I don't really care, Louis can have whoever he wants around, but don't you think he's moved on a little quickly?"
Sophia and Eleanor had been friends longer than El and I were, so they had a much stronger bond. I knew she cared about her feelings, and I think we both felt the same about the whole Louis and his possible new girlfriend situation.
"Mmm, I haven't really been keeping track of his life. I remember El telling us in Melbourne that he was going around with all these girls, maybe she's another one of them. Friends with benefits perhaps? I honestly don't believe he got over El that fast."
"I don't think that either. But just say they were dating, like officially together now, what are we meant to do? Welcome her with open arms? Have lunch? Go shopping? I don't know how this works. Eleanor was around when we both started dating the boys, it's kind of weird not having her here.
I don't know how to be around someone that's not her? Even when you and Harry weren't together, if he started bringing other girls around I don't know how I would act. You're my friend, I'm loyal to you. Eleanor is our friend, are we being disloyal by being nice to her ex's new girl? I don't know how to handle the situation."
Soph was an over-thinker like I was. Neither of us went into a situation without thinking long term, and considering everyone else's feelings in the situation. I did feel like we would be being disloyal to Eleanor by being friends with this new girl.
If Harry did date someone after we ended, and I saw Eleanor and Soph hanging around with her, I would have felt betrayed. I knew they wouldn't have intended to hurt my feelings, but it still would have looked like a stab in the back to me. There was no right and wrong way of dealing with this.
"I honestly don't know Soph, I mean we can be nice to her obviously, I guess we just don't start having dinner parties with her. El would have to understand we can't just ignore the girl, but we also won't go out of our way to talk to her. Is that mean? I don't know, the boys seem to love her, even Angus is laughing at what she's saying and he's barely smiled in two months."
She did seem friendly enough, and she hadn't done anything wrong by me as of yet, so I felt like I owed it to Louis to be nice to the girl, no matter how loyal I was to El. Plus Harry seemed to like her too, so I knew he'd expect me to be pleasant to her.
"I guess you're right...her and Perrie did welcome me into the group after they were friends with Liam's ex, so I guess I know how it feels to be the new girlfriend," she shrugged, leaning her head on my shoulder.
"What are you two gossiping about?" Liam called out, turning everyone's attention to us.
"Nothing that concerns you babe," Soph shooed him off, flicking her wrist.
"Just about how Louis is a man w*ore," she mumbled between gritted teeth in my direction. I giggled at her comment, obviously waking the baby since it started to move around again, causing me to flinch.
"What's wrong?" She looked at me concerned.
"The baby's moving, I guess I still just get a surprise whenever I feel it. It's not something I'm completely used to yet...do you want to feel?" I asked her, and she nodded enthusiastically.
I placed her open palm over my stomach, and the baby kicked right away.
"Oh my gosh, that's crazy," she chuckled at the feeling of it.
"I think it likes you, it doesn't usually move this much for anyone."
"Everything okay love?" Harry came over and leant over me, placing his hand behind my head.
"Yeah, the baby's kicking for her, she's a little excited," I laughed at Sophia's giddy reactions whenever she felt something.
"I'm stealing your baby and your girlfriend, they can live with Liam and I, sorry Harry," she joked.
"They're my girls, back off!"
"You keep saying girl, I'll laugh if it's a boy just to bite you in the arse," she retorted.
Harry did always refer to the baby as a her or she, I often reminded him it was a fifty fifty outcome, but he was adamant on having a daughter.
"Well I read if you have a lot of morning sickness during the first trimester then it's a girl, and she was sick every morning. A father knows his own child, I'm telling you it's a girl," he argued with her.
"Junior is a boy, accept it Harry! We found the new fifth member of One Direction," Liam called out.
"Don't you start, junior is a girl, shut up Liam," Harry dismissed his suggestion.
"I have an old trick that worked with my friend when she was pregnant," Lily joined in on the debate.
"What's that?" Harry asked her.
"Someone give me a key," she stood, and Louis handed her a key off his keychain.
"Okay I have the key laying horizontal in front of you in my palm, pick it up either by the narrow end, or the round end," she held her hand out to me. This was the most ridiculous thing I'd heard, but I played along anyway.
I picked it up by the narrow end and she laughed. "Looks like you're right Styles, it's a girl!"
"How the hell does her picking up key up from the narrow end mean it's a girl?" Louis questioned her.
"It's an old wives tail babe...narrow end means girl, round means boy. My friend did it and she picked up the round end, she ended up having a boy.
"I don't believe in any of this shit," Angus shook his head at all these suspicions.
"Well, I'm looking up a few other ways to tell," Liam pulled his phone out, and went on the search for other ways to find out my baby's gender. I wasn't going to be convinced of anything until I saw the baby with my own eyes.
"It's says if it's a boy then the dad will put on weight during the pregnancy," Liam read off his screen.
"Doesn't look like I've put any weight on," Harry lifted his shirt up, revealing his perfectly toned stomach the bandages hadn't covered.
"Have you been craving anything sweet?" He asked me.
"Yeah, milk chocolate constantly!"
"It also says that if you crave sweets it's a girl...and if your face is round, full and rosy, which it is..."
"See! It's a bloody girl I told you all!" Harry screamed in excitement, and I just rolled my eyes, still not believing any of this.
"You know what? I'm not going to fall for any of this, because I'm not going to be thinking it's a girl then it ends up coming out a boy. To me it's a baby, not a specific gender," I defended my possible son.
"And you-" I turned to Harry, "I feel like your hopes are up so high that it's a girl, that you're going to be disappointed if I'm actually carrying your son!"
I didn't know why I was becoming so upset over this all of a sudden. Usually I found it cute how badly he was hoping for a girl, but the closer the birth came, the more I just wanted him to accept it could be either.
The idea of having a girl scared me a little, because she would be a mini me. Not that I considered myself a bad child, but I knew how horrid teenage girls were, what if I couldn't handle it? The idea of having a son just scared me less, because boys could emotionally handle more than girls could.
Maybe I was also hoping more for a specific gender deep down, I just didn't express it as much as Harry did. Would I be the one disappointed if it came out a girl? Was I just taking out my guilt on him? I was pregnant and hormonal, I blamed my mood swings on that.
"I would love it either way just as much, you know that," he lowered his voice, looking concerned as to why I was becoming so emotional over this.
I didn't want to cry in front of everyone, I was being stupid over the whole thing, I hated the pregnancy hormones, they turned me into a bigger baby than the actual baby inside me.
I got up from the couch and left the room before letting everyone see me cry.
"Jen, babe what's wrong?" Sophia followed me out.
"I don't even know, I'm not even really that upset over anything that just happened, I always just cry now. I'm so emotional and large and I feel disgusting. None of my clothes fit anymore, my arse is huge, my feet and boobs hurt. Even Liam thinks I look fatter in the face now.
The last week has just been horrible, I think my emotions are all just catching up with me tonight. I feel like ice cream as well..." We both laughed at the last part of my meltdown.
"We'll go get some ice cream then. You look so beautiful Jen, you look the exact same as you always did, your face is a little fuller but it's glowing. You're pregnant, it's inevitable that you would be a little larger than usual.
Harry loves you no matter what you look like, all he does is rave on about how beautiful you are, and how happy your growing stomach makes him. He would love you if you were one hundred pounds or three hundred pounds, he fell in love with your heart not your body.
I was just as scared as you were when I heard about the accident, so I completely understand why you would feel overwhelmed about everything. All that matters is that are perfectly fine, and we still have them, okay?"
Sophia was an amazing pep talker. She made me feel a whole lot better about everything, I was grateful to have her here with me, she was an incredible friend to me.
"Thank-You," I wiped my face.
"For....?"
"For making me feel better, you're a good friend," I hugged her tightly.
"Can we get that ice cream?" I pulled away, having my heart set on a triple chocolate fudge cone.
"Yes, come on mummy, I'll just tell Harry we're leaving and I'll grab my purse. I'll meet you at the elevator."
I nodded and made my way over to the lift, waiting for her to get back. Ice cream would make my feel better, it never failed me once.
...
Harry's POV
"I feel like your hopes are up so high that it's a girl, that you're going to be disappointed if I'm actually carrying your son!" Jen's eyes glassed over with emotion, a side of her I hated seeing.
I knew she was about to cry, and I didn't understand what had triggered this sudden reaction. She was fine a minute ago. I knew my girlfriend, she wouldn't normally cry over something as little as the gender of our baby.
"I would love it either way just as much, you know that," I lowered my voice, hoping my calm attitude would stop her from becoming emotional.
It didn't, she got up and left the room, I knew it was just so no one else could see her cry. She was always so strong, she hated showing people her emotions. I went to go after her but Sophia had stopped me.
"Let me go, maybe she just need a girl to girl talk. If she says anything that is concerning, I'll let you know I promise," she assured me, and I agreed to let her be the one to go after Jen.
"I wouldn't take it personally mate," Angus broke the silence in the room.
"What do you mean?" I asked him, wanting him to elaborate on it. Did he know something about what triggered this outburst? If anyone knew her better than I did the last couple of months, it was him.
"She's just emotional and shit lately. It has nothing to do with anything specific. She cries more now than I've known her to. Mason reckons it's just pregnancy hormones, women cry more frequently.
Mate a couple weeks ago she cried because a couple on a TV show she likes broke up. A week before that she cried because she couldn't find her sunglasses, they were on top of her head. Wouldn't be too worried about it.
Did she tell you about the psychic lady she went to?"
Psychic? She hadn't told me anything about a psychic?
"No?" I was genuinely confused. Usually she told me everything, even something as small as spilling a glass of water on herself, why wouldn't she have told me about this psychic?
"She went with Eleanor and Sophia when they were down in Melbourne..."
"What? So like two months ago? And this is the first I'm hearing of it? What did this psychic say? I hope she doesn't believe in that rubbish!"
I didn't believe in psychics, I didn't think a deck of cards could tell your future.
"A bunch of stuff, I can't really remember. I just remember that she mentioned she had told her she would suffer a loss, and when she heard your bus crash on the phone..."
"She thought it would be me," I got where he was getting at.
"That's why she fainted. Her body went into shock as soon as the phone line died."
"Excuse me? Fainted? What the f*ck are you talking about?"
Jen fainted? And no one bothered to tell me about it. I understood I was in hospital and drugged up on pain killers, but I think someone, especially her, should have informed me she had fainted again.
"I thought you knew..." He seemed confused by my ignorance to the news.
"No I didn't know. What happened? Did she wake up right away? She's okay right?"
"We rushed her to the hospital. She was in there a few hours until she woke up, she refused to stay, she wanted to be here with you."
"She was in the hospital?" I rose my voice. I was annoyed that I wasn't aware of this. My girlfriend and my unborn child were in the hospital, and no one thought to tell me about it.
My stress levels and anger were starting to make my ribs hurt, so I sat back down on the couch in agony, trying to process all of this.
"Look I didn't mean to piss you off, or cause any trouble. I'm sure she was going to tell you herself, I'm just telling you this so you know what stress she's been under this week. That probably contributed to her crying. You know she bottles her emotions up until she explodes."
He was right on that, she did tend to let her emotions build up until she came completely undone. I wasn't so concerned about why she left the room crying now, Angus' explanation on her being emotional calmed me down, but the fact I didn't know about the hospital annoyed me. I also wanted to know what else this damn psychic said.
"Harry..." Sophia popped her head through the door.
"Yeah? Where's Jen? Does she need me?" I stood up.
"No she's fine, we're just going to get ice cream...babe throw me my purse," she turned to Liam. I just wanted to see her, and make sure she really was fine.
"Give her this, I like to know I can contact her if I need to," I handed her Jen's phone she left behind.
"You're such a worrier, she's just having a few insecurities that's all. She's pregnant, pregnant women tend to be more emotional than just the regular woman. If there was something majorly wrong, I would tell you, but I'll give her the phone," she took it from my hand and closed the door.
"I remember all the times I saw my mum pregnant, she was just as emotional. It's just a woman thing, she'll be right mate," Louis tried to cheer me up.
I was grateful for these guys, they were always there for me, and I would always be there for them.
...
The TV in the hotel didn't seem to keep my mind off of Jen. Her and Sophia had been gone a good hour now, and all I wanted was for her to walk through that door, and be in my arms.
I went to call her a few times, just to ask when she would be back, but I told myself not to. I didn't have to know her where abouts twenty four seven, she would be back soon.
The waiting was killing me though, a text wouldn't hurt. I pulled my phone out to send her a message, then my door opened before I could press send.
"I'm sorry for running out like that," she walked over to the bed, and I helped pull her onto it, pulling her straight into my arms.
"It's okay," I kissed the top of her head. "Are you feeling better?"
"Yeah...I stopped by the other room to see if you were there, and I spoke to the boys. I know you know Harry..."
"Know what?" I was confused as to what exactly she was referring to. The hospital, the psychic, that she cried often? I knew a lot she hadn't told me about.
"That I was in hospital...I was going to tell you but it was honestly the last thing on my mind when I saw you..." Her voice trailed off, and sobs left her lips.
"Hey, why are you crying? I'm not mad you didn't tell me, I was a bit annoyed I was the last to know, but I'm not mad at you," I held her face between my palms.
I didn't know how well I was going to cope with this new emotional Jen, I hated seeing her cry, and right now my heart was breaking seeing her like this.
"It's not that...just thinking about that day upsets me. I was so scared Harry, you don't understand. All day I had this horrible feeling something bad was going to happen, I was already wound up because Mason and Angus haven't been getting along.
They had a fight at the store, and it upset me. So when I got home and finally spoke to you, I was starting to feel better but then it happened. You don't know what it was like for me, one second I'm hearing your voice, the next I hear screeching tires, screaming and glass smashing. Then it all went silent.
I screamed for you, but you didn't hear me. I thought you were gone, I've never felt such a pain in my heart in my entire life. It was racing, it made me think of the time you told me when your heart races for someone it means you need them. All I could think about was how I needed you, and how you couldn't have been taken from me.
I left our room to try and tell someone what had happened, but everything was all too much and I blacked out. I woke up in the hospital bed, and for a minute I forgot that all happened. My mind tried to forget it, but when it came back it came back hard. I made mum book me a flight right away.
She wouldn't let me fly alone, so Angus came too. Probably a good thing to separate him and Mason for a bit, they need space. So when I got the hospital and saw you lying in the hospital bed, all I wanted was for you to open your eyes.
I knew you were alive, but the weight on my heart wasn't lifted until I heard your voice, then I knew you were okay. I didn't even think to tell you about me fainting, it was the least important thing at the time. I'm sorry it's taken this long, but you understand I didn't do it on purpose right? I actually completely forgot about it."
It hurt to know what I put her through with the accident. It was unavoidable, and I knew it wasn't my fault any of this happened, but I never wanted her to ever feel like I was being taken from her, or that I would leave her.
I understood why her being in the hospital wasn't a topic of conversation, I put her through hell and back, more so than I ever had.
"I'm sorry I put you through that, I never want to be the reason for your tears. I'm here now and I'm good, I promise I'll never leave you," I kissed her and pulled her into my chest.
"Can I ask you something?" I wanted to bring this psychic up with her, mostly because I was nosey and wanted to know if she found out anything interesting.
"Yeah?" She looked up at me.
"This psychic...what did she tell you?"
"How do you even know about that?"
"Angus..." I chuckled.
"Of course...it wasn't a secret or anything, it just never came up in conversation. She said a lot of things."
"Like what, fill me in on your future," I pulled her back to lay down with me, as I listened to her list off the predictions.
"Well she said a friend would come to me in a time of need, and I would be their shoulder to cry on. It kind of freaked me out when Angus showed up on our door step that day, and I was literally his shoulder to cry on."
"You're kidding, so those psychics are actually legit?" I was sceptical, but that was weird.
"Yes! She told me I would suffer a loss. She said it wasn't necessarily a person, but could be anything. That's why I thought when you had your accident it was another prediction coming true. I'm relieved it wasn't you, but I'm scared to know what I'm losing."
"I wouldn't worry too much baby, I assure you it's not me, or the baby, so don't plant those thoughts into your head."
"I know...she also said I should have a forgiving heart with a friend, and I thought of Bella. I don't want to forgive her, what she did is the most pathetic thing anyone has ever done. She's dating the guy that destroyed my heart, and she told the media about the baby. F*ck her, I will never regret not forgiving her."
I didn't blame her for hating Bella, normally I would tell her not to hold grudges, and to let her resentment go, but I disliked the girl as much as she did. She was no longer a part of Jen's life, and I honestly preferred it that way.
"Did this psychic say anything positive?" I laughed, hoping there was a light at the end of this dark miserable tunnel.
"Yeah, she mentioned you," she looked up at me, and I turned to face her, our faces were so close together our noses barely touched.
"She said my soulmate loves me more than I could understand, and we'll have a beautiful life together. See I already knew you were my soulmate, I didn't need a psychic to tell me that," she chuckled, kissing me gently.
"I do love you more than you could understand, she was pretty spot on with that one!"
"Just randomly, what do you think of the name Mia?" She asked me. It was a random question to ask, especially in the middle of her explaining her psychic reading.
"I like it, why?"
"I don't know, just something about that name keeps giving me this feeling like it means something to me. The psychic said Mia is my guardian angel, and she will come to me in a time of need.
She will heal my heart from hurt, and she will be my blessing. She wouldn't tell me when this Mia would come into my life, but since she's said it I can't help but think maybe she's talking about the baby, Harry.
Maybe we are having a girl, and maybe Mia is our daughter. Maybe I'm just overthinking things again, she could be a new work colleague or something for all I know," she laughed off the idea, but what she was saying made sense.
"I actually really like that name, let's have a look what Mia means," I reached for my phone, and typed into google the meaning behind the name Mia.
"In Latin it means wished for child," I read off the screen. Neither of us really planned to have a baby yet, but I saw it in our future, so the meaning did relate to us. The baby is what brought us back together, she or he was our blessing in disguise.
"Well she or he is wished for," she rubbed her stomach, and I felt something inside of me that said Jen was carrying our daughter, our Mia.
"I love the name, but whether she's a Mia or he's a Michael, I'll love it all the same."
"I know you will," she kissed me again, and we relaxed deeper into the mattress, just grateful we got to hold each other another day.