It took me a second to place that happy, satisfied feeling in my gut when I opened my eyes.
I'd done it.
With Killian.
Twice.
And it was me who'd initiated it. Nestled against his warm, very naked chest, I basked in the feeling of being wrapped up in his arms, all safe and tucked away.
After a while, I carefully slipped out of his hold and sat up, the shirt he'd worn yesterday spilling down my frame.
As I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, a hand caught me around the waist, hauling me backward. His thigh wedged snugly between my legs and his heavy arms crossed at my front, locking me in place. All my muscles spontaneously decided to turn into mush. On second thought, maybe the bathroom could wait. At least until my limbs became functional again.
"Where do you think you're going?" Killian murmured into my hair.
I tried to sound stern. "I was just going to the bathroom."
He propped himself up and squinted hazel eyes appeared above me, searching my face.
"What?" I asked. "Do I need a bathroom slip?"
"You're not panicking," Killian remarked, regarding me with suspicion.
Now he was overreacting. "Why would I be panicking?" I asked.
His brows rose. "Isn't that what you do?"
"Very funny. Now let me go," I added, pushing my palm against his shoulder. He obliged and rolled over, pulling me on top of him—which I would totally complain about if he wasn't so damn comfortable.
"Why?" Killian asked as he began kneading my neck with slow, deliberate movements, working his way down my spine. "You tryna run?"
My eyes closed on their own and I snuggled closer until the pressure in my lower abdomen reminded me why I'd woken up in the first place. "Yeah, to the closest toilet. What's with the sudden paranoia?"
He sighed. "Nothing." His arms loosened slightly—probably his sign that I was free to go—but he kept drawing lazy circles over my back, so I didn't feel like moving. At all.
A few minutes passed. The rhythmic rise and fall of his chest were lulling me back to sleep when he spoke, breaking the comfortable silence. "Didn't you want to go to the toilet?"
"In a second..."
He chuckled huskily, his hands moving beneath my bare legs. Then, in one fluid motion, he lifted me, wrapping my legs around his waist, and carried me to the bathroom. It was only when he gently placed me on the toilet seat that I finally opened my eyes.
"You got this?" he asked, a cheeky smile spreading over his lips. "Or do you need help with the rest as well?"
I just blinked at him, still feeling sleepy and content.
His eyes traced my face before he groaned. He dropped into a crouch and then his lips were on mine, his warm fingers spreading on my thighs.
That woke me up.
I gripped his hair, marveling at the softness of it. Breathing hard, he drew back. A pleasant shudder ran down my back at the hungry look in his eyes. Anticipation tickled between my legs as memories from last night flashed through my mind.
Then, he stood abruptly, and strode out of the bathroom, cursing under his breath. I remained still, my head still swimming from the kiss. A few moments later, he returned with my bag and some clothes. He took one look at my dazed expression, spun around, and shut the door behind him, swearing under his breath.
It took me a few moments to gather my shaky legs, lock the door, and start my morning routine.
I gasped at the face staring at me from the mirror. I looked...good. I hadn't even washed my face last night, but for once, my skin held a healthy shine and my eyes glowed. Despite the lack of sleep, I was vibrating with a sort of restless energy.
But...how long will it last? the small voice inside my head whispered. I could get sick at any time. Not many people understand how it feels to experience your body failing you. Even fewer people had any regard for eczema.
Shit. Focusing on how my condition had sabotaged every single relationship wasn't helping. I pulled a face. Was it weird that I already missed him when he was just outside the door?
I sped up, put on a pair of comfortable yoga pants, snatched one of his hoodies, and went in search of him.
I found Killian in the kitchen, pulling out two bowls, fruit, and a cutting board. He had thrown on a loose sweatshirt that did nothing to hide his muscular frame, making him look big and... comfy. Mhm.
"Sup, Princess," he drawled, lifting his head.
In an instant, he crossed the space between us, and his hands gripped the counter behind my back, backing me into a corner. Despite the way he bent forward, he still towered over me in a way that made my pulse drum erratically.
"Sup," I replied, caught between the urge to run and drag him back to his room to repeat what we'd done.
His smile deepened as if he knew exactly how he was affecting me. Damn him.
"What are you doing?" I cast a nervous glance around, wondering if the others were up yet. "Are you planning on telling everyone?"
"What did you think would happen after you slept with me?" he asked softly, leaning closer. "That I would ignore you?"
"No," I said. "But... Don't make it so obvious."
He sighed deeply. "Whenever I'm with you, it's two steps forward and three steps back. So, what now? You don't want me as your boyfriend?"
I stilled. My heart skipped a beat at the word boyfriend, but my stomach flopped at the same time.
Killian narrowed his eyes at me. "There it is. That look. Panic caught up with ya?"
"N-no."
"Admit it. You're scared, Princess."
"I'm not," I protested weakly.
He leaned closer. "Yes, you are. Every time I get too close, you panic and do the only thing you know, which is push me away like the little hedgehog, you are. Do you think I sleep with just anyone?"
"I mean...people sleep with each other casually, right? It doesn't mean they have to date."
"I don't do friends with benefits or some bullshit like that. The next time you sleep with me you'll be my girlfriend even if I have to make you beg for it."
My body flashed hot; turned on, and embarrassed at the same time "N-next time?"
He nodded. His voice turned low and husky as he said, "No more sleeping around until you agree to be my girlfriend. Judging by last night, you won't hold up for long."
This guy... Did he think he could win me over like this? So, what if last night had been kind of great? I didn't have to sleep with him. Okay, maybe I wanted to, sure, but—argh! I poked his stomach but regretted it almost instantly. His abs tightened under my hand, and I couldn't resist the urge to spread my fingers more. This was unfair.
I glared at him. "You suck."
His usual confident demeanor wavered. He appeared dumbfounded, his gaze locked on me in disbelief. "What?"
It took me a second to interpret the stunned look on his face but when I did, I burst out laughing. Oh God, he didn't think...? I peeked at his face and laughed harder.
"Hey," he growled, but I couldn't stop. My stomach hurt and I doubled over still shaking with laughter when he apparently had enough. His hand slid under my thigh, while the other wound around my back, and then he picked me up and carried me back into the bedroom.
"Wait!" I gasped when he dropped me on the mattress. His hands grasped my wrists, pinning me down. "The others are—
"The others are gone," he said with a frown. Was he pouting?
"Sorry. I wasn't talking about that."
There was a dangerous glint in his eyes. "Oh? What were you talking about then?"
"You. In general. Overall."
"Mh." A slow smirk spread over his face. "Because you like me too much?"
I gave a dry chuckle and rolled my eyes.
He lowered himself on top of me, trapping me beneath his body. "You like me," he insisted.
"Keep telling yourself that."
"I know you do. At least you like my face."
"Huh?"
"You think I wouldn't catch you staring?" He smirked. "You're not as subtle as you think you are."
I was pretty sure I was being very subtle, and he was just annoyingly perceptive. "Fine. Your face is"—I searched for the right words—"easy to look at I guess. Doesn't mean anything."
"Other people's faces are also easy to look at. Yet, I never catch you staring at them."
"That's because they don't annoy me even half as much as you do," I countered.
He grinned. "See, I knew you liked me."
I opened my mouth to protest, but his lips pressed against mine, silencing me. He tasted like toothpaste and for a blissful moment, all my worries just disappeared.
He pulled back, searching my face. "Why wouldn't it work?"
I tried to force my brain cells back to work, which was hard since my head felt like a giant pile of mush.
"Well, you're a pain ninety percent of the time," I finally said.
"And you're a pain ninety-nine percent of the time. What's your point?"
"See? You think I'm a pain—"
He kissed me again. "You're a cute pain though," he muttered in that low, husky tone of his that made me want to agree with everything he was saying. "So, I repeat; What's your point?"
I struggled to keep my walls up, but they were crumbling under his intense stare. There was one thing he'd overlooked. Even if it was better, I was too weak to push him away. I wanted this too much. He made me feel good. So good that I could pretend I was normal and not a bomb whose timer was running. Maybe being in a relationship wasn't the real problem. Maybe if it was the right person, my skin wouldn't break out like my own personal fire alarm.
Watching me struggle, he said, "One month. Let's see how this goes for one month, and then you can decide if you want to give this a chance."
"A month," I repeated. "Okay." My hands slid over his shoulders. "That means we can—"
"Rule's still in place," he interrupted, his gaze transfixed on my mouth. "Just say the word, Princess, and I'm all yours."
Pulling him down, I kissed him, long and eager. I started trailing my lips along his jawline his five o'clock shadow tickling my skin.
A shiver ran down the whole length of his body. My legs wound around his hips, and I could feel him—at least I wasn't the only one suffering.
He inhaled deeply before swallowing hard. "No..." he replied hoarsely. His muscles flexed as he lifted himself and looked into my eyes. Then he caught my hands that were pushing up his sweatshirt and continued, "But it doesn't hurt if you know I'll keep my word."
I pulled my hands free and hit his chest. And then his arms. "God, you're so annoying."
Killian had the nerve to chuckle. He flopped down on my right and cradled me against his chest. "Don't worry. You won't be able to live without me when this month is done and then you can do whatever you want. I have a feeling if I give in now, you'll just tell me it was all about sex. I'm not going down that road with you."
"But if we say we test it for a month, it would be weird leaving out one essential part of our relationship," I argued.
How come I suddenly transformed into a sex-crazy person?
He reached out and brushed a few strands of hair out of my face. "Sex is all about trust. And I know you trust me a lot, so you don't have to worry about it."
I squinted at him. "I never said I trust you."
"You trust me," he confirmed. "Last night would have gone very differently if you didn't. I thought you'd be kinda shy, Princess, but you weren't shy at all." He smirked. "Not that I'm complaining. But you wouldn't do all these things with me if you didn't."
My jaw went slack. "I was plenty shy..." Yeah, okay, for some strange reason, I kinda hadn't been. Which was definitely a first. Not that I would ever admit that.
"Really? Didn't look that way to me when you—"
"Okay, okay!" I gnawed on my lip. His confidence was even more annoying.
He slipped his arm beneath my shirt, pressing his palm beneath my shoulder, and giving me a light squeeze. "What are you thinking now?"
"I should have dragged you back to bed before that rule was set up," I blurted out.
His fingers traveled down, teasingly playing with the clasp of my bra. "Well, I think I can do something about that."
"Oh yeah? I thought you said you wouldn't sleep with me."
"I won't. But I also said I'd make you beg, didn't I?"
My breath caught as he reached up, an evil grin on his face. And then he made me forget about everything else. He was such a cheater.