Jade.
"Baby do you got everything?" I ask with concern and slight pouting that he's leaving for his tour today.
I watch as Chris packs the lasts of his things before he heads off to the airport to catch his flight.
Chris chuckles as he stops to look at me, "Baby I got everything I need, you ain't gotta worry I'm straight"
"I know it's just, I'm gonna miss you" As I wrap my arms around his waist, resting my head against his chest.
This is the first time that I'm experiencing Chris being away on his tour run for his album. I know it's his job and that's what comes with it but I didn't realize it'll be this hard. Especially since everything that went down between me and Asia, I don't feel that I am one-hundred percent ready to be alone in my own thoughts just yet.
Chris then kisses the top of my forehead while caressing me as we hold onto each other, "Baby I promise that I'll call and text you whenever I can. And as much as I'm excited about going on tour I can't lie and say that I won't miss seeing this pretty ass face everyday" I chuckle a little, following a shy blush.
"You promise?" I ask while looking up at him, asking one more time.
"I swear" Chris then leans in to kiss me passionately.
Pulling away, I bite on my bottom lip, "Keep this up, you gon' make me miss my flight" Chris warns.
I sigh dramatically and whine, "Is that supposed to be a threat?" Chris then purses his lips at me as I laugh and back away from his grasp, "Ok, I'll let you finish getting ready"
Chris chuckles as he gets back to it.
-
With Zaria in Chris's arms he kisses her for the millionth time before handing her over to me, and from the looks of it, it seems like he didn't want to let her go.
"I'll call you when I land back at the rental a'ight?" Chris reminds, I nod with a small smile while Zaria continues to suck on her thumb.
"I love you" Chris tells me, I smile small, "We love you too" Giving both me and Zaria a quick kiss, he and the rest of his entourage hurry into their cars as they head off to the airport.
Chris, in the backseat, waves goodbye as the car slowly pulls out of the driveway, I, return the favor as I also gesture Zaria's hand to do the same.
Now with everyone gone, I sigh as it settles in that only me and Zaria are here together alone for a little while.
"Guess it's just you and me now huh Zaria?" Zaria continues to babble in her baby talk, I giggle as I kiss her cheek, heading back inside the house.
•
It's been about a few days since Chris left and boy is Zaria a handful to look after.
Now I can see why for my mother it was so hard looking after me and my brother by herself.
It is definitely not easy.
"Zaria it's time to go in the playpen" I say as I pick her up swiftly, instantly, she starts crying, "I know baby I know but I can't cook and clean without you running everywhere, putting stuff in your mouth huh?" I say as none of those words even registered or mattered to my babygirl.
I kissed her cheek and hummed to her softly, attempting to calm down her cries. I can tell she misses her daddy to pieces, especially with how much trouble she's been giving me.
Sighing as her cries went down, I put her inside her playpen, gave her some toys and put on some cartoons to help keep her occupied while I cater to the rest of the house.
I sighed while looking at the dishes, "Ahh, we need a maid" I say, chuckling aloud to myself before getting straight down to work.
-
Now cooking, I decided to chef up some mash potato's and leftover steak I had in the fridge. And since we're still managing the table foods with Zaria and trying out new things, she still heavily depends on her sippy cup to do the trick in fulfilling her tummy.
While the steak was slowly cooking on the stove I heard my phone vibrate and ring on the couch.
Quickly running to it as it may be Chris, I sighed.
"Hey Kiki, what's up?"
"Hey girl, how are you? I was just checking up on you- the shop is good so don't worry about that, I just wanted to call and see what you were up too" Kiki explains.
I smile at her kind gesture, "Thanks. That's sweet of you, and I'm not doing nothing really just making me and Zaria some dinner"
"Ooh! Well since you said that if you're up for some company..." Kiki trails, I shake my head already knowing she's coming over for the food portion.
"Sure, why not?" I say nonchalantly. I then felt another buzz on my phone, taking it away from my ear it read Samantha's contact.
Samantha: Hey sis' I'm in town for a little, is it cool if I can come over? 6:48 pm.
"Yay! Ok I'm on the way, is it ok if I bring wine?" Kiki asks.
I giggle, "Yeah that's fine, bring enough because Samantha just texted me asking if she could come over as well"
"Ok, that's cool. I got you, see you girl"
"Alright" I say before ending the phone call.
After shooting a quick text back to Samantha, saying it was ok, I looked over at Zaria's cooked vegetables and decided to give her a little swig of her sweet potatoes.
"Zaria...mmm how is it mommas?" I ask as I feed her the little that was on the spoon.
Getting it all over her face, her eyes beam up as she then gives me a toothless smile.
I then clap, cheering her as she soon copies my motion. Kissing the top of her forehead, I go back to finish up cooking.
A few minutes have gone by as a knock soon appeared on my door.
Going to open it up, there was Kiki Samantha and her son, Myles.
"I hope you don't mind me bringing him, my sis' had to work late so she couldn't watch him for me"
I nod nonchalantly, seeing him resting on her shoulder peacefully, "It's all good, come on in" I step aside as I let both Samantha and Kiki inside.
Shutting the door, I let out a small sigh. I'm glad that me and Samantha are in better terms but apart of me still feels slighted in some ways, seeing her son grow and look exactly like Dominique the older he gets.
No one can help the situation now, what's done is done, but it's still a hard pill to swallow sometimes.
"Ooh look at you beautiful!" Kiki squeals, acknowledging Zaria's presence, while Zaria on the other hand was too focused on her toys in the playpen to even pay attention.
"Thanks for letting us come girl and it smells so good in here" Kiki says while following me to the kitchen.
I shake my head laughing, "You are something else, it's always bad enough that you use me for sweets at the bakery but now for food at my own house? Shame on you" I say jokingly while handing her a plate.
"You know you love me" I giggle, "Can't deny that, Samantha? Are you hungry?"
"Nah, I'm good, thanks. Kiki did say she brought some red wine so I'll definitely take a glass of that"
"Great minds think alike" Kiki says while handing me the glass bottle.
"It sure does, this looks good" I say while examining the bottle.
After getting mine and Zaria's plate together for dinner, I grab three wine glasses from the pantry, slowly pouring in the wine.
"Here you ladies go" I say, walking into the living room and handing them their glasses as they get settled.
"Thanks boo" Samantha says, "You're welcome"
"You and Chris are so fancy in the most extra way, where do y'all be finding these type of glasses?"
I then scoff in shock with a smile, "First of all, these glasses were Chris's choice and we all know how articulate he can be sometimes. Besides they're cute"
I go to grab Zaria, sitting her in her high chair beside me while I eat and continue to converse with the ladies.
Multitasking at its finest.
Soon as I officially get settled, while eating myself and feeding Zaria, me, Kiki, and Samantha all begin to talk amongst ourselves.
"So, how are you doing? With Chris being on tour and away from you guys" Kiki asks.
I sigh while taking a sip of my wine, "It's...going. It gets pretty quiet though, I mean I miss him but Zaria's not grasping the idea of her dad not being in the house so she keeps calling his name and when he doesn't respond or comes around to her thinking, she begins to give me a hard time"
"Awe, she's so cute though" Samantha says while watching Zaria take big bites of her broccoli.
I chuckle a little, "Cute but terrible" We all then laugh briefly, "I can't lie though I do miss my man, and it's only been a few days"
"It'll get better girl, keep yourself busy" Kiki suggests.
"Trust me I do already with Zaria on my hands, thinking to myself: wheres my momma when I need her?" I say, following a laugh right after.
After Zaria finishes eating, she began getting agitated, assuming she wanted to play, so both she and Myles began playing in her playpen sharing toys.
I smiled at the sight, proud of my baby for being friendly with another.
"Look at how cute they are! Getting along and stuff ok! Period!" Kiki celebrates.
"Yes, I love it. I love my baby boy, but I'm telling you the older he gets, the more he got a mouth like me, I swear. All that babbling under all that baby talk he be cussing me out for real" Samantha says while we continue to laugh, "Aside from baby talk, I know that what happened at Chris's album release party was wrong, and I take responsibility on my part, however facing the facts of the matter, Asia wasn't no good friend to you, simple as that"
I sigh, as I continue to drink more of my wine.
"I have to agree I mean, I liked Asia for the most part Jade, she was cool and down to earth, minus the whole birthday fiasco with Lo kissing me during the game to get her jealous, but, she just didn't seem like a, 'girls girl' anymore ever since you came down here and made a name for yourself, with the bakery and all" Kiki says and agrees.
Sighing once more, I move a strand of hair away from my face, "Regardless to what happened it's still a sore subject for me, and even though we are not friends anymore she was like my sister, and she's going through things. I'm still not completely over what happened so can we not talk about this at all please?" Taking the last big gulp of my wine until there was no more left to drink.
Now with the room quiet, standing up awkwardly and shyly, I ask, "Anyone want more wine?"
-
"I'm blaming you for the reason of her staying up all night" I say shaking my head, laughing in bed while Zaria continues to attack my phone with her slobs of kisses and loud noises she's making with daddy on the phone.
"Baby girl can do what she wants, you'll be alright" Chris says, completely ignoring me and giving all the attention to Zaria.
I roll my eyes playfully, "Yeah, whatever" I go to grab Zaria's sippy cup to calm her down, she takes it with ease as she lays on my chest.
"Look at my babies" Chris admires the view, "You're babies miss you" I say back.
"I miss y'all too...already for real"
"How's the tour going so far?" I ask.
"It's lit baby I can't even lie to you, next tour fo' sho' y'all coming through tho'" Chris says.
"I don't know if I want my baby out on the road for 3 to 6 months or more Chris" I say with slight concern, "She's too young for that right now"
"You know I wouldn't do y'all like that, keeping her on a bus or plane and traveling from state to state? Hell nah, but Jade you know how my tours be. Just trust and believe I got y'all, I wouldn't let nothing happen to my daughter" Chris explains.
"I know you wouldn't" I say while caressing Zaria's curls, "Her eyes is closing, she fighting that sleep hard" Chris jokes.
"Yeah, just like you do" I say back.
"So what all you and my baby do today?" Chris asks.
"Well earlier I was cleaning up and playing around with her, watched a movie- or at least attempted too, you know she's a busy body, she hates sitting still. Then later for dinner both Kiki and Samantha came over to keep me company" I say plainly.
"Baby you sound sad what's up with you?" Chris asks with concern in his voice.
I sigh, "Nothing, I just...I don't want to talk about it. Samantha had brought up Asia and then today her son came over and he look so much like...you know who. And not that she can control it but all those old emotions and wounds felt like they were resurfacing for some weird reason. Ugh, especially when Asia's name was brought up and the whole thing that went down between us. I'm just not ready yet to talk about it and I don't even know if I will ever be" I vent.
Chris sighs while coming his head to the side, looking at me, "I know it's still hard for you but I'm telling you it's gonna get better, believe that" He reassures.
"And I miss you...like crazy" I say while looking into his eyes.
My man could never not be handsome to me.
Chris bites his bottom lip, nodding his head, "I miss you more baby, it's gonna be a long 6 months but once I have a few of my concerts down in the city, I'll make sure to spend as much time with you and Z as I can, ok?"
I nod with a small smile, "I know you will"
"I would say some other thangs right now but you got my baby sitting right there sleeping then my team all around me so..." Chris says while making silly flirtatious faces as all it does is make me laugh.
"Yeah, so don't say nothing crazy" I warn him.
"It's just they looking so pretty sitting up and I'm kind of jealous right now how comfortable Z is just laying on them, I'm jealous of my own daughter right now, that's crazy"
"Bye Chris" I say, laughing as I cover my face shyly.
"Aye" Chris calls out, looking back at the phone I say, "Yeah?"
"I love you"
I blush instantly, "I love you too"
"I'ma text you ok? We all heading to a restaurant before we head back to my rental so, I know it's late over there I won't keep y'all up too much"
I nod in response, "Ok, just text me when you make it there then make it back to the condo. Enjoy your night"
"I would enjoy it even more if I was wit' you" Chris says while throwing a wink my way.
"You're so corny! But cute at the same time" I say while rolling my eyes playfully.
"It's my charm baby, that's why the ladies love me" Chris says cockily.
"Ok LL Cool J" I say sarcastically, Chris laughs at my facial expression and response.
"I'll text you ok?"
"Ok, bye baby" I say, giving him a small wave as he throws kisses my way before ending the phone call.
Looking over to see Zaria knocked dead out asleep, I slowly move and place her on my chest as I quietly and carefully get out of the bed and take her to her room.
Laying her down in her bed, I place the blanket over her as I watch her sound asleep, moving her loose curls out of her face. Placing a quick kiss on the forehead, I slowly walk out of the room as I close the door behind me.
Now walking back into my room, I turn on the camera so that way I can closely monitor and watch over Zaria while she's sleeping. Smiling at the sight of her I go into the walk-in bathroom as I began to run the water on warm.
Gathering up my things for bed, I couldn't help but to think of the conversation me and the girls had today. I hope I didn't come off bitchy or too harsh, the conversation is just something I'm not quite ready to have right now.
Maybe later.
Now in the tub, relaxing and bathing, I settle and get comfortable in the warm water, already enjoying the mommy-me time that I have provided for myself tonight.
Hopefully these 6 months will fly by soon.
Cause' I sure as hell didn't expect it to be this hard.