Jade.
Last night was...not what I was expecting, at all.
I called Kiki telling her I wouldn't be coming into work today simply because of how I was feeling.
I can't lie I'm...sad, angry, disappointed. All of these emotions that I can't quite put my finger on.
It's hard to even process that I may have just lost someone who is like a sister to me, and the worst part of it, is that it's someone being my daughter has even grew a close bond too.
Last night opened me up to see the true colors of everybody in that room and who really showed to have my best interest at heart. Apart of me wishes last night didn't even happen, and that maybe Chris should've had his album release party in a club or something.
Not sure if the setting would've changed what happened or make it worse but...
I sigh as I continue in my own trance of thoughts. At this point, I don't even know about anything anymore.
After shooting Kiki a quick text, she asked if later could she, Paige and Myron all come over to talk. I said sure and left it at that.
In the living room, I watch Zaria as she continues to play in her playpen. I smile at how fixated she is on building her blocks correctly before knocking them down clumsy.
I then hear footsteps nearby, as I look up to Chris heading down the steps, grabbing his keys along with his phone.
"I'm 'bout to head to the studio" Chris says dryly.
After our little argument last night, me and Chris barely said a few words to each other. And honestly, I don't like the feeling of me and Chris being at odds due to the factor of our friendships getting in the way of business and personal life.
I sigh tiredly, assuming Chris didn't want to talk any further, "Ok, drive safe"
Chris then looks up at me briefly giving me a quick nod before heading over to Zaria, plastering numerous kisses on her face while she giggles hysterically, attempting to push her daddy's face away with her little hands.
I smile and laugh a little at their exchange.
Chris then approaches me by giving me a quick kiss on the top of my forehead, "See you later" He says.
I look up at him and smile weakly, "Ok"
Soon as Chris left I felt a tear come down my face, feeling and getting emotional about this whole ordeal.
Does...does Chris blame me for this?
For all of this?
I shake my head as I continue to watch T.V., or should I say letting the T.V. watch me rather.
5 p.m.
Kiki, Symphony, Paige, Myron and Roxy all came over to keep me company and to talk.
I made me a quick dinner. A small pizza I had in the fridge with some red wine. As my whole day felt drowsy and right now food is becoming the main coping mechanism of the day.
"Listen last night...I ain't gonna lie, it was crazy" Myron says bluntly.
I scoff, "Hmph, tell me about it"
"But it wasn't your fault" Kiki says as Symphony nods in agreement.
"It felt like it was" I respond, "Really, like it is"
"Things sometimes happen, shit got crazy but at the end of the day you realize who's good to keep in your company Jade, you wouldn't of been able to predict what ol girl was gonna do" Roxy explains.
"And how were you to know she was gonna pop up unannounced on some bullshit? Exactly" Myron adds.
"But I should've known something was gonna go down to all the chaos from our phone conversation and then on the internet. I've known Asia since high school, from the very beginning this is someone that I've practically grown up with" I say frustratingly.
"And those same people you grow up with can be the same people who change, it happens" Kiki says.
"It still doesn't make it any easier Kiki" I say as Kiki nods in agreement.
I sigh as I lean back further into the couch, "I just...I don't know. It just doesn't make sense. And now with Chris barely speaking to me-"
"Wait, why?" Symphony asks.
"I think how everything went down may have changed his mood about his album release. Something that was supposed to be positive turned into something negative with people who are supposed to be my friends" I say sadly, still feeling guilt about the whole ordeal.
"I don't think Chris blames you sis' he's probably just pissed about what went down and how it went down. With Asia coming in unannounced all crazy, it's probably a lot going through his mind, and yours now that y'all are basically a couple in the public" Roxy explains.
"Yeah I don't think he would be angry with you, you didn't start the fight nor did you bring any negativity to his day" Paige chimes in, "Jade, you're a great person, always has been since I've met you and more likely since before. But now you're in a whole other spotlight, you have a great bakery business, you're married to an incredibly talented and popular artist, so you're not going to be the same person in that aspect"
Paige continues, "Now I'm not sitting here saying that what happened is due to yours and his profound spotlight but maybe there could be some slight tension at play because of where your status quo is now" Paige explains, "All in all, you need friends that will support you at your highest and lowest, meaning people who won't diminish you for the smallest things and tarnish your character purposefully for everyone to see"
"That's real" Roxy says in agreement.
I nod, agreeing with everything that was said, "Yeah, maybe you're right, I just feel like-"
I got cut off by my phone buzzing and ringing.
"It's Chris, hold on" I tell everyone as they nod off into their own separate conversations.
"Hey" I say shyly to him, considering we've hardly spoken to each other today.
I noticed his hair color was different, including his facial hair looking trimmed.
"I see you went back to blonde and got a haircut" I compliment shyly, "It looks good" Admiring his facial features.
Chris smirks slyly, "Thank you. I called asking if you could come by the studio, I didn't want to talk over the phone"
I look up at everyone around me who had a curious looks on their faces.
"Oh, ok yeah I can come by actually a few of my friends and my co-workers are here so..."
"Ok cool, I'll see you in a minute?" He asks.
I smile small, "Yeah, I'll text you when I'm there to let me up"
"Alright" Chris then gives me a quick wink as I giggle a little before ending the call.
"Well..." Symphony trails off.
"Well" I repeat, "I have to go to the studio, Chris wants to see me...to talk. So, Kiki could you watch over Zaria for me please? I rather it just be me and him alone"
"Yeah, that's no problem. My mom got my princess for tonight so..." Kiki trails off, referring to her daughter, "You're good"
I smile, "Ok thanks"
A few minutes went by as everyone left except for Kiki of course. With her watching over Zaria for me for the evening, that gave me enough time to get ready to head out and meet with Chris.
Chris.
Bobbing my head to my song, Press Me. I smiled thinking about how well appreciated my fans will be of my new work.
I then heard the door open, turning down the music, I looked ahead and see Jade walk in.
I smiled at the sight of her. This is really my wife and mother of my child, I thought to myself.
God blessed me for sho' man.
"Hey baby" I smile, admiring her from head to toe.
"Hey" Jade says shyly, keeping an awkward distance.
Squinting my eyes, I curl my finger to motion, "Come here" Jade then walks over and immediately hugs me tightly.
I couldn't tell if Jade was crying or mumbling to me, so I caressed her while we held each other in brief silence.
I then lift her up by the chin to face me, "Chris, I'm really-"
"Don't say you sorry. Cause first of all, none of the shit that happened last night was your fault. I can't blame you for other peoples actions babe, I just don't like seeing you get hurt by the people you believe love and care for you, that's all" I explain, "You're my wife, my best friend, my supporter and a hell of a good momma, I just want those who are around to see and understand that. And especially for them to not take your kindness for granted, as I'm one who's been there, done that and witnessed that. Especially being in this business whether it's personal or fucking professional"
Jade nods, "I know, everyone was saying the same thing. Kiki, Symphony, Roxy, Paige, Myron..." Jade trails off, "I just didn't want your night ruined that's all"
"Forget about yesterday, I just wanted you here because I didn't want you thinking I was mad at you about some petty shit. And right now, I'm just focused on finalizing these deluxe versions to some of the songs on my album for y'know, when I perform and what not" I rant.
Jade giggles, "You're so cute when you talk about your music. I love it, and I love you"
"I love you too" I say as I lean forward and kiss her sweetly on the lips, "And don't forget that shit"
"I won't. I promise" Jade smiles brightly while we look into each others eyes.
I then turn the track to, Sensational. Taking Jade in my embrace, I turn her for her back to face my frontside, swaying us back and forth to the beat as she continues to giggle in my ear.
"You know I can't dance" Jade whines.
"Ain't nothing but a little two-step" I tease as she laughs loudly while our hands intertwine.
I then felt a vibration from Jades side, she turns around, still laughing at my silly antics. Pulling out her phone, her face immediately turns from laughter to straight silence and a slight frown.
"What's up?" I ask, curious, "What is it?"
She then turns the phone in my direction.
"It's...Asia. She wants to meet up too talk...today" Jade says.
I sigh, shaking my head.
Now what good could come from this shit?